


The Other Hummel

by whyitisyou



Category: Glee, finnchel, klaine - Fandom
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-05-30 23:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 128,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19413655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whyitisyou/pseuds/whyitisyou
Summary: In this alternative season 5, Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, Finn and Brody's lives are shaken when Kurt's Brazilian cousin move in to New York. Louisa Hummel will gather some friends, some loading and some attention from the boys. NYC life changes everybody and she'll be caught between telling everybody her secret or keep hiding her truth. It all culminates in a college version of Next to Normal where "normal" needs to be redefined.





	1. Blaine's New Classmate

Author's Note:

(aka: things you need to know to understand this story)

. This began being written in early Season 4 of Glee and was finished after the show's last Season. It portrays an alternative universe for Season 5 as a New York spin-off.

. There are a lot of references to the musical "Next to Normal" and some lyrics that bring spoilers. 

\----------

Chapter 1: Blaine's New Classmate:

A pair of red converses crossed the airport. Louisa turned her cellphone on after the long flight. There was a text message from her cousin:

"So sorry I couldn't pick you up. Lots of work. There's a cab waiting for you. XXX."

She rolled her eyes; great way to be greeted at the Big Apple. She turned and saw a man holding a cardboard with her name. It was only when she was already inside the cab that she called her cousin.

"Hello?"

"Kurt?"

"Louisa! Are you already here?"

"Yes I am; I'm riding the cab you sent..."

She hears Kurt sighing on the other end:

"I'm so sorry I couldn't go pick you up but the real-estate agent booked with us now and he didn't have another hour. I don't know if I told you, I'm so excited: I'm moving in with my boyfriend! Speaking of which, where are you staying? Have you arranged that?"

"It's all arranged; don't worry. I have a dorm room at the university. I'm going straight there to see it and a bunch of other stuff that I also need to solve. Maybe it will be easier if we saw each other after our terms started."

"Maybe. We'll see; but I'll call you daily. I miss you so much!"

"Me too, pumpkin."

"By the way, which university? Have you settled the issues you still had with your scholarship?"

She chuckled:

"Yeah; but I only had the confirmation this week. I almost didn't come. I'm starting at NYADA."

Kurt gasped and coughed:

"NYADA? Oh My... Oh, so sorry boo; I've got to go. We'll meet there! It's where I go too!"

She didn't even had time to say anything else because Kurt had already hung-up the phone. She stared at the little phone in her hand and smiled. So many memories of all the vacations of her childhood she had spent with cousin Kurt while visiting her dad. She never imagined she would be moving to New York to go to university here. She looked at the outline of the Manhattan's buildings she could then see from the cab. She took a deep breath filled with insecurities about the future.

xXxXx

The real-estate agent handed Blaine the final papers of the rent of their new apartment. Blaine had already called Kurt once but he was excited about a phone call he received and hadn't hung up yet:

"Kurt; we need to sign this now."

Kurt smiled at him while hanging up the phone. He approached them and turned to the agent:

"Sorry. It was my Brazilian cousin. I was supposed to pick her up at the airport and she was telling me she found the cab I sent in my place. Where do I have to sign?"

Blaine watched attentively while Kurt was concentrated following the agent's instructions. He was overwhelmed to finally be moving in with Kurt to a place only of their own. The agent gathered the papers and handed them the keys; wishing them a good day and leaving. Blaine turned to his boyfriend who disappointed him a little by talking about his cousin:

"Louisa is finally in town. I'm happy she made a good trip."

Blaine smiled at him while walking closer and grabbing him by the waist and locking him in a hug:

"So, Brazilian cousin? Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand?"

Kurt laughed:

"Not quite Louisa... You'd be surprised if you expected her to be some kind of mermaid..."

Blaine grinned at the boy in his arms. Kurt smiled back a little puzzled:

"What?"

"Can we talk about something important?"

Kurt smiled and rested his head on Blaine's shoulder:

"Sure honey; what's on your mind?"

"We are moving together! It's our place, Kurt!"

Kurt moaned:

"I'm happy to be moving in with you; but I'm still upset we got no space in here..."

Blaine chuckled while rubbing Kurt's back:

"Don't worry, gorgeous; there will be plenty of room for all your clothes. Besides, I'm glad to be moving out of the land with no walls; particularly after Finn moved in..."

Kurt laughed and looked at him:

"Yeah; that was embarrassing. And to be free of Rachel's mood swings is not that bad either."

Blaine smiled and glued their lips in a kiss.

"You know we'll be absurdly happy here. Come on; dance with me while we still have no furniture."

Kurt chuckled:

"But, honey, there's no music!"

Blaine smirked and searched for a song on his iPhone. He winked at Kurt as the first notes of I'll Cover You started filling the room. Kurt grinned back at him and took the lead in singing Angel's part of the duet.

Live in my house, I'll be your shelter

Just pay me back

With one thousand kisses

Be my lover, I'll cover you

Blaine followed him right after him and singing as Collins.

Open your door, I'll be your tenant

Don't got much baggage, to lay at your feet

But sweet kisses, I've got to spare

I'll be there and I'll cover you

They were dancing, laughing and playing together while they explored their new home.

I think they meant it

When they said you can't buy love

Now I know you can rent it

A new lease you are my love

On life, be my life

Just slip me on, I'll be your blanket

Wherever, whatever I'll be your coat

You'll be my king, and I'll be your castle

No, you be my queen, and I'll be your moat

I think they meant it

When they said you can't buy love

Now I know you can rent it

A new lease you are my love

On life, oh my life

I've longed to discover

Something as true as this is

So with a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you

(If you're cold and you're lonely)

With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you

(You've got one nickel only)

With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you

(When you're worn out and tired)

With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you

(When your heart has expired)

Oh lover, I'll cover you, yeah

Oh lover, I'll cover you

xXxXx

All the freshmen knew about the terror Cassandra July could be on her classes. They were struggling to keep up with the choreography and praying to remain invisible to her eyes. She kept yelling at all of them as a group until a particular student caught her attention:

"Hey you, vampire! Get here! Don't tell me you are more one of those that came from that Glee club from Ohio that manage in a mysterious way to get into NYADA?"

Louisa tried to smile politely over her jitters:

"I'm actually from Rio de Janeiro; I'm Brazilian."

Cassandra was now circling her while judging her new student:

"Oh! You must have impressed someone to make all the way up to my class. But keep in mind that here we don't dance with monkeys and you'll have to work your ass off to keep up with the rest of the class."

"Actually, we don't have monkeys..."

Cassandra sharply cut her mid-sentence:

"Shush! You don't speak in my class."

Louisa could feel her blood starting to boil and she knew nothing good came from it:

"And you don't speak like that about my country!"

"Oh! We have a little patriot. Where's your fruit basket, Carmen Miranda?"

Louisa gave her a mocking smirk:

"You don't want to know where I think you hid it."

Cassandra turned whiting the second a bright color of red. She was about to start screaming at the top of her lungs at the girl; but Louisa had already turned on her heels and stormed out of the classroom, leaving everyone perplexed at her boldness.

xXxXx

As the class had been dismissed after a few bitter words from Cassandra; Blaine went after the foreing girl and heard a monologue in a strange language being interrupted by sobs coming from a janitor's wardrobe.

He opened the door and found her curved up in a ball on the floor while crying her eyes out. He closed the door behind him and sat by her side:

"This is a strange place for a meeting."

She looked at him intrigued:

"Indeed... What are you doing here?"

"You put on quite a show there. Well, you can fool everybody else, but I saw a tear. Don't worry; your secret is safe with me."

She smiled feebly and he took it as a sign he could go on:

"That woman had no need to talk to you in that way but you also didn't need to respond with such a wit. Don't take me wrong; I thought it was funny, but some people might consider it rude..."

"I'd be the first of them. I shouldn't have done that; it's nothing like me. It's just that sometimes I can't control myself."

He gave her a side smile:

"Anyway, no need to cry. We are classmates; we can also be friends and I can help you with her."

She smiled back:

"Thank you."

"My pleasure. I'm Blaine, by the way."

She shook the hand he was extending her with a puzzled look:

"Anderson?"

It was his turn to be surprised:

"How do you know?"

"Are you by any chance Kurt Hummel's boyfriend?"

He was even more suspicious:

"Yes..."

"I'm Louisa. Louisa Hummel; Kurt's..."

He finished the sentence with her:

"Cousin. He told me about you. Wow! When he said you weren't the typical Brazilian I didn't expected... that."

"Hey! You must remember whose cousin I am. Anyway, he told me lots about you too. He's right: you really can play the nice guy."

Blaine chuckled while getting up from the floor:

"Come on; I'm meeting him at the coffee shop across the street. Let me take you to Kurt; family might do you good."

She took his hand and let him help her get back up.

xXxXx

Kurt impatiently paced outside the coffee shop; it wasn't like Blaine to be late, something must have happened. Suddenly, a familiar high-pitched squeak caught his attention:

"Kurtie!"

Before he knew it; Kurt was engulfed in a hug by his cousin. Blaine was watching the scene with eyes wide open and fingers in his ears:

"My God! She really is a Hummel."

Kurt was already breaking the embrace and grabbing Blaine's hand:

"So you two met. How?"

Blaine smiled at him:

"It happens that Louisa is my classmate. She made quite an entrance at Cassandra July's class today."

Louisa blushed and Kurt rubbed her arm:

"Boo, don't take to heart anything that horrible woman says to you."

Blaine interrupted them:

"Oh, I don't think Louisa needs protection... And boo?"

Kurt laughed embarrassed:

"When we were child I called her Booisa because I couldn't pronounce the l. And then it kind of caught... Anyway, what about Boo doesn't need to be protected?"

This time, Louisa was embarrassed:

"Why don't we go inside and talk during a nice cup of tea?"

The three of them sat for a nice lunch together. Louisa and Kurt were explaining Blaine how they were related because Louisa's father was Burt's brother. He met Louisa's mother during the years he was sent to work in Brazil. He had moved back when Louisa was five and so she spent her vacations with him. However, during her teenager years, her father had remarried and she wasn't so comfortable at his place anymore. She and Kurt kept their communication through phones and internet but they hadn't seen each other in a long time.

Blaine offered to go get another cup of Mocha for his boyfriend. As soon as they were alone; Kurt reached for Louisa's hand from across the table:

"So, how are you and your... issues?"

She looked alarmed at him:

"Shh! We don't talk about that..."

"Louisa, there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's..."

She punched the table:

"ENOUGH! It's my life, Kurt! Anyway, it's under control. I've been a good girl recently. I'm taking my medicine and keeping my nose clean. Moving on, how are things between you and Mr.-Cheated-on-You?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at her:

"Did you have to bring this up? It's in the past now. I forgave him."

She gave a quick look towards were Blaine was and turned to her cousin again:

"I could never quite forgive him for what he did to you. I guess my Latin blood doesn't allow things to go cold for real. But, hey, whatever makes you happy as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. I'll always be here for you; you know that, right?"

Kurt smiled fondly at her:

"I know, boo. I'll always be here for you too."

She smirked at him:

"No one messes with my cutie cousin or they'll feel the Brazilian fury."

Kurt laughed out loud and she couldn't help but grin back. He took her hand again:

"Don't judge him so harshly. He really regrets it."

She squeezed his hand:

"I was the one on the other end of your crying phone calls. And no one messes with the Hummels, right?"

Kurt laughed again:

"You're so like my father."

At this moment, Blaine got back with the coffee:

"Why are we laughing so much?"

Kurt smiled at him:

"I was just telling Boo that she reminds me so much of my father. It's like they are father and daughter."

xXxXx

As they were leaving the coffee place, Kurt turned to Louisa:

"What are you doing now, boo?"

She sighed:

"I'm kind of tired. All I wished was a good bath to relax; but fat chance I got that in the community showers of the college's accommodations..."

Kurt looked at Blaine, who nodded, before answering her:

"Well, we have a proposition for you: I took the afternoon off Vogue so I could go with Blaine take a few things from our former apartment to the new one. We can't offer you a bath, but we can offer a shower just for you. What do you say?"

"If I'm not imposing; I'd say it's a dream come true."

A train ride later, Louisa was alone in the apartment while Kurt and Blaine went out to buy some supplies for the new place. She had the most delicious shower since she arrived in New York: it was silence just broken by the sound of the water running through her body. She got out and put on her underwear; realizing she had left her clothes in her bag in Kurt's room.

She got out of the bathroom wrapped in the towel. She found her bag sitting at the foot of Kurt's full body length mirror. Since she was alone; her girly side spoke louder and she went to check out her body in the mirror.

Her reflection hadn't changed much since the last time she had checked herself out back in Brazil. One thing she could notice: she was happier and it somehow appeared in the reflection looking back at her. How could she not be happy? She was studying musical theater at the best academy in New York City; for crying out loud! At this moment, she felt at the top of the world where none of her problems could reach her.

The feeling of pure joy took over her and she began to sing a samba she thought fit well for the occasion. Still in her underwear; Louisa started dancing to her own version of Chiclete com Banana, totally unaware that she was no longer alone in the apartment.

Só ponho bebop no meu samba [I'll only add bebop to my samba]

Quando o tio Sam pegar no tamborim [When Uncle Sam gets the tamborine]

Quando ele pegar no pandeiro e no zabumba [When he gets a tamborine and a zambumba]

Quando ele entender que o samba não é rumba [When he understands smaba is not rumba]

Aí eu vou misturar Miami com Copacabana [And then I'll mix up Miami and Copacabana]

Chicletes eu misturo com banana [I'll mix bubblegum and bananas]

E o meu samba vai ficar assim [And my samba will sound like this]

Finn had to come home at an unusual hour because he had forgotten a form he needed to hand at university. He was used to singing coming from inside the apartment (he had been living with three NYADA students: Kurt, Blaine and Rachel). However, this voice he didn't know. He was dragged by the voice and, although he knew he shouldn't be watching this, he couldn't take his eyes of the girl shaking her body in such a different way.

She suddenly saw him through the mirror and screamed while covering herself up with a towel. Finn tried to turn around and pretend he hadn't seen anything, but it was too late:

"Wow! I'm sorry; I didn't know there was someone home. I'm Finn Hudson."

Her pale white skin made her blush as easily as Kurt. She was trying to not die of shame while trying to make sense of the boy's words:

"Finn Hudson? You're Kurt's stepbrother?"

"Yes! Yes I am."

"Well, I guess I'm the one who needs to apologize. I'm Louisa Hummel, Kurt's cousin. I came here with him and Blaine because they lent me the shower. I knew they were out so I got a little carried away..."

Finn turned to her and was happy to see she was now fully dressed:

"No harm done; I guess. Just an awkward meeting..."

She smiled at the kind boy:

"Really awkward..."

xXxXx

When Rachel got home; Finn was alone in the living-room with the TV turned on the football game but paying no attention. She thought it was strange, but she put her bag on the table and went to sit on his lap anyway:

"Hi baby; how was your day?"

He was clearly caught distracted. He blinked a few times before answering:

"Fine! Great! I had to come home to get a form I had forgotten and I've met Kurt's cousin."

Rachel smiled:

"Talking about her and Kurt; he called today asking if we didn't want to go with him and Blaine to take her to see Wicked this weekend as a welcome to New York. I said we would go. I mean; my audition is tomorrow during the freshman ripping, and that leaves Saturday absolutely free for me. Is it okay by you?"

Finn usually was the one who heard on their relationship; so he simply nodded and kissed her. Rachel, on the other hand, was the talker:

"I told Kurt to invite Brody too; he also loves Wicked..."

However, Finn's patience had limits and Brody was it. He growled and hid his face on a pillow to avoid picking up a fight. He had never really gotten over the fact that Rachel and this guy had dated and that she continued to play little friends with him. But tonight he didn't want fight with her; not when he felt so guilty.

xXxXx

Kurt called Louisa from across the room. She was happy to see a familiar face when she was so nervous; even when it came accompanied by a face she wasn't that excited about. Kurt hugged her:

"Are you ready for your ripping?"

"My what?"

Blaine intervened:

"Our ripping; it's how people at NYADA call the freshmen presentation for Carmen Tibidaux."

She smirked

"Oh! Now I'm calm."

Kurt smiled at her

"You'll be fantastic! I've seen you singing a thousand times..."

She got more and more nervous as name after name were called but hers. They weren't calling in alphabetical order and each time her heart skip a beat waiting for her turn. Blaine hadn't been called but he didn't seem nearly as edgy. Her name was called after a skeaquy girl who didn't get much love from Mrs. Tibidaux. It was a strange and intimidating room that echoed her steps as she walked towards the middle. She could feel hundreds of eyes following each of her steps.

"Hello, my name is Louisa Hummel and I'll be singing Over the Rainbow from the Wizard of Oz.".

Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high

There's a land that I heard of, once in a lullaby

Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.

And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops.

That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.

Birds fly over the rainbow, why, then oh, why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly, beyond the rainbow,

Why, oh, why can't I

When she finished the last note; she could see Kurt and Blaine giving her a standing ovation and Mrs. Tididaux giving her a weak smile

Blaine's turn was just after Louisa's. He seemed much more confident as he walked his way. Kurt was glowing with pride. He wispered in his cousin's ear:

"We stayed up until late last night to find the perfect song."

This made her even more insecure with her choice of such an obvious song. Kurt went on:

"It's something a little off his usual catalog, but I think he nailed it."

"Good afternoon, I'm Blaine Anderson and I'll be singing the theme from Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet. I hope you enjoy."

What is a youth?

Impetuous fire.

What is a maid?

Ice and desire.

The world wags on

A rose will bloom,

It then will fade

So does a youth.

So does the fairest maid.

Comes a time when one sweet smile

Has its season for awhile

Then Love's in love with me

Some may think only to marry.

Others will tease and tarry.

Mine is the very best parry,

Cupid he rules us all.

Caper the caper; sing me the song

Death will come soon to hush us along

Sweeter than honey and bitter as gall,

Love is a pass-time that never will pall.

Sweeter than honey and bitter as gall,

Cupid he rules us all.

A rose will bloom, it then will fade.

So does a youth.

So does the fairest maid.

Louisa could now see that Kurt wasn't lying when he said his boyfriend had the most amazing voice. She got carried away by Blaine's sweet voice and, much to her surprise, a boy kept appearing in her daydreams. A boy she barely knew but who made her heart beats faster: Finn.

xXxXx

At the end of the ripping, Louisa decided Kurt and Blaine were too sugary for her today. She politely excused herself from them and left towards her dorm. She wasn't very far from the Round Room when a very good-looking guy stopped her:

"So you are the Brazilian girl everyone has been talking about?"

Louisa turned surprised at him:

"I've already got a reputation?"

He laughed a beautiful smile:

"Not everyone has the guts to face Cassandra July."

She turned red:

"I shouldn't have done that."

"I like that you did and you impressed pretty much everyone. I'm Brody; Brody Weston. May I add that you have no chance with Blaine?"

She looked puzzled at him:

"I beg your pardon?"

"I saw how dreamy your eyes have turned while he sang. But, news flash for you; he's gay and that boy he was talking to is his boyfriend."

"Well, news flash for you too: that boy is also my cousin."

Brody was the one shocked this time:

"You are the cousin Kurt couldn't shut up about? Girl, you are full of surprises!"

"Does everyone here knows Kurt?"

xXxXx

Rachel rushed in the Round Room but, unfortunately, the ripping had already finished. The only familiar face she saw was Rebecca, a girl who took several classes with her. She approached the girl to try to know how things went:

"Rebecca?"

"Rachel! You just lost the ripping..."

She smiled:

"I'm so sorry; I wished to have seen my friend Blaine. I had an audition for an off-Broadway production and it finished earlier than I thought. I ran here to see if I could catch a glimpse of him..."

"He was the last one. A couple of minutes earlier and you'd seen him. But he did very well."

Rachel grinned:

"That's great! And the others? Anyone we should worry?"

Rebecca approached her with a conspiratorial glance:

"Have you heard about the Carmen Miranda girl who answered back Cassandra July? She sang today too and got a smile from Carmen Tibidaux."

Rachel gasped:

"We really should worry! Who is she? Is she still around?"

Rebecca took a look around and pointed out in a corridor:

"There! She's the one talking to Brody Weston."

xXxXx

"I'm telling you Finn; this Carmen Miranda girl means trouble. She has gotten here all the way from Brazil? What has she done?"

Finn sighed. He had heard Rachel talking about that girl a million times since yesterday and, honestly, he couldn't care less. It all seemed just like Rachel overreacting and, right now, he was just hoping Blaine, Kurt and his cousin would arrive at the theater so they would have something else to talk about.

"Rachel, you haven't even talked to the girl..."

"Finn! Aren't you listening? She has a reputation already; and the way she was talking to Brody..."

Finn interrupted her:

"You know what I think? I think you are just jealous of Brody!"

They would get into an intense fight but Finn heard Kurt calling him from the other side of the street. He pointed the three out to Rachel and her face changed:

"It's her!"

"Of course it's her; I told you Kurt and Blaine would pick Louisa up."

"No Finn; she's Carmen Miranda!"

xXxXx

Kurt exchanged another glance with Blaine as Rachel snaped at Finn again. The boy apologized a little embarassed and pointed towards Louisa with his head. Rachel rolled her eyes and pulled him from the group.

Kurt smiled with the side of his mouth to Louisa:

"Sorry about that. Rachel Always get a litlle odd whenever she has a big audition coming up."

Blaine let out his thoughts:

"I'm so glad I don't live with her anymore. We don't have to deal with this kind of thing anymore. But wasn't the audition yesterday?"

Kurt didn't want to say it in front of Louisa, but he tried to express with his eyes that Blaine wasn't helping. Meanwhile, they could hear parts of Rachel's rant:

"... she is not a stranger! I'm not exposing you..."

Kurt turned to find a rather tense Louisa.

"Don't worry about that, they are like this all the time."

She smiled at him but he could see his cousin had a firce look that usually meant trouble.

Louisa didn't know what it was, but something in the way Finn's girlfriend looked at her was not right. They had tried to be friendly while greeting when introduced, but she felt they were fooling no one. Then, as sitting on this Broadway theater to watch Wicked; Louisa couldn't control herself as to start quiet singing along with Glinda to the lyrics of What's this feeling.

(Galinda) What is this feeling, so sudden and new?

She could tell Rachel was singing Elphaba's lines in her sit as well.

(Elphaba) I felt the moment I laid eyes on you.

(Galinda) My pulse is rushing.

(Elphaba) My head is reeling

(Galinda, spoken) My face is flushing.

(Both) What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame, does it have a name? Yes... Yes

The sparks flying between them were almost visible.

Loathing! Unadulterated loathing!

(Galinda, spoken) For your face,

(Elphaba, spoken) Your voice,

(Galinda) Your clothing!

(Both) Let's just say- I loathe it all!

Every little trait how ever small,

Makes my very flesh begin to crawl

With simple utter loathing!

There's a strange exhilaration.

In such total detestation. It's so pure, so strong! ( so strong)

Though I do admit, it came on fast,

Still I do believe that it can last.

And I will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long.

xXxXx

"Ms. Berry? If you could; we would like to hear your voice..."

Rachel walked towards the microphone stand on her "Singing 3" class. This was her moment; this was what she knew how to do and no Carmen Miranda would get in her way.

"Good afternoon. I'm Rachel Berry and I'll be singing Fame from the musical Fame."

Baby, look at me and tell me what do you see?

You ain't seen the best of me yet

Give me time, I'll make you forget the rest

As Rachel was training her singing voice; Louisa and Blaine were working hard to keep up with their acting class.

I've got more in me, and you can set it free

I can catch the moon in my hand

Don't you know who I am?

Remember my name

Kurt was struggling to follow the complicated choreography he had to learn this week.

I'm gonna live forever

I'm gonna learn how to fly

I feel it coming together

People will see me and cry

Finn was practicing a monologue in an empty classroom at NYU

I'm gonna make it to heaven

Light up the sky like a flame

I'm gonna live forever

Baby, remember my name

And Brody was taking directing classes.

Baby hold me tight, 'cause you can make it right

You can shoot me straight to the top

Give me love and take all I got to give

Baby I'll be tough, too much is not enough, no

I can ride your heart 'til it breaks

Ooh, I got what it takes

Remember my name,

I'm gonna live forever

I'm gonna learn how to fly

I feel it coming together

People will see me and cry

I'm gonna make it to heaven

Light up the sky like a flame

I'm gonna live forever

Baby, remember my name.

They were all seeking the absolute same thing: have their names forever remembered. Fame...


	2. Working Class

"More oatmeal, honey?"

"Thanks, I'm fine. But Kurt; sit down. There's something I've been whiling to ask you."

As breakfast was the only meal they were sure to have together; it also became Kurt and Blaine's time to share things and catch up on each other's lives. Kurt sat down and squeezed Blaine's hand encouraging him to go on.

"Is something going on with Louisa or she simply have a problem with me?"

Kurt pursed his lips and took a deep breath before answering:

"Yes and yes. She has some issues she doesn't like to talk about and she's not that into you. But I'm afraid you'll have to gain her trust to settle things with her. She'd kill me if I told you anything."

Blaine sighed:

"I try to reach for her but she doesn't let me. I mean; she's always polite and friendly, but she's always so distant..."

Kurt shrugged:

"That's Louisa. You see, Blee; Louisa is that kind of person that looks tough on the outside but is really soft. She has her problems as I had mine. She has put on all those walls to protect herself and the only way of letting them down is to gain her trust. Once she does; she's the best of friends. She was the first person I came out to."

Blaine had moist eyes:

"Kurt! I never knew your relationship was so deep. That's beautiful. I was never this close to Cooper or with any of my cousins to come out to them. My first experience was telling my parents and...you know that didn't end well."

"Oh honey; I wish you had. It'd have been so much easier for you. Anyway, I find it very cute that you are so interested in getting to know my cousin. Give her time and she'll warm up to you. I'll see if I can talk to her. For now, you have me to help you with whatever you need."

Kurt got up from his sit and went to sit on Blaine's lap; engaging in their first make-up section of the day.

xXxXx

Kurt and Blaine entered NYADA and saw Louisa having coffee with a chubby grumpy girl Kurt knew to have been one of Adam's Apples and who took a few classes with him. They bought coffees for themselves and joined the girls.

"Hi boo."

Louisa looked up smiling:

"Hey pumpkin! Guys, let me introduce you; this is Maggie Cooper, my roommate. Maggie, those are Kurt Hummel, my cousin, and his boyfriend Blaine Anderson."

After the traditional handshakes, Kurt and Blaine joined them at the table. Maggie looked at Kurt:

"We know each other, right? You are a sophmore like me; we share some classes."

Kurt nodded and smiled. Blaine gave one more attempt at being friendly with Louisa:

"So, Louisa, did you solve your problems with Cassandra? Can I count on seeing you in class this week?"

She sighed:

"Well, it wasn't easy but it's solved. According to the rulebook she has to accept me in her class; which she's absolutely not pleased about. However, as a punishment, now I have to work for her and she's making sure I won't have an easy time. Anyway, I guess it could have been worse. The only thing that bugs me is that it makes things harder to find a paid job."

Kurt looked at her puzzled:

"Are you job hunting? I thought your scholarship got things covered for you."

"Sort of; it pays for tuition and gives me a dorm room and a little money to eat at the university. I want a job so I'll be able to pay my own rent. I need my own place; particularly my own shower."

They all laughed and Maggie threw her a sympathetic glance:

"Right back at you, sister. I know how tough it can be to find a place you can be alone around here. I wished I could move; but you're my first roommate that isn't a psycho."

Louisa suddenly had an idea:

"Hey Maggie, what if we shared some place? We've been getting along fine and, at least, we only would have to share the bathroom with one other person."

Kurt saw Maggie smiling for the first time.

"That could work. I don't mind having to share the bathroom with you. I could see with my boss if there's a spot for you at Coffee'N'Stuff."

Louisa chuckled:

"That's a terrible name for a coffee place."

"Tell me about it! But the coffee is good. It's inside a bookstore, Books'N'Stuff, hence the name. My boss, Mr. Peaches, is creepy. But the salary is good and the hours are flexible."

Blaine intervened:

"I know that place! The old lady who runs the bookshop is adorable and the Medium Drip is killer. And Louisa, I'm also looking for a job; if I find somewhere interesting looking for your profile I'll let you know."

She smiled feebly at him:

"Thank you."

xXxXx

At the end of the day, Maggie guided Louisa out of NYADA through a side door that almost no one used. She pointed out a cozy shop across the street:

"It's there."

A little bell jingled as they opened the door and a fat-bellied big mustached man yelled at Maggie from the mezzanine where the coffee house was placed:

"You are late Ms. Cooper!"

Maggie signaled Louisa not to pay attention to him and guided her upstairs. She went behind the counter and tied her apron on before chasing after her boss:

"Mr. Peaches, I brought my friend Louisa with me today so you could interview her for the barista position that opened."

"But there are no barista position opened. You are my barista!"

He walked away from her and she waved Louisa to join her behind the counter, which she did quite reluctantly. Maggie went on following Mr. Peaches:

"But Mr. Peaches, you were saying just yesterday that we might need some extra help around here since the new term at NYADA has started."

Slowly, Maggie and Mr. Peaches' voices began to fade away in Louisa's mind as she saw a chief's knife lying on the counter. The blade was growing larger and larger in her head and her toughs started to take a familiar way she fought daily to avoid. It would be just something small. There'll be no harm. Just a little cut that tomorrow no one will notice. Nice red blood. Such a beautiful color. Warm. Dripping...

She was awaken from her trance by Mr. Peaches' voice screaming at Maggie:

"I said no, Maggie! I can't hire anyone right now."

Maggie turned to say something to her, but Louisa was already apologizing and walking towards the exit:

"It's okay, Maggie. I can't work here anyway; you know... Cassandra... too many classes... See you at our dorm."

Louisa was talking and walking hastily backwards so she didn't see the rounded cheeked old lady that had entered the shop. Nor could she avoid bumping into said old lady.

Maggie was watching from upstairs and gasped:

"Oh, Mrs. Smitty! I'm so sorry. This is my friend Louisa. I took her here to try for a job at the coffee shop."

Mrs. Smitty looked at Louisa who was still lying on the floor:

"It's okay. At least only my books fell down; not me. Are you fine, young lady?"

Louisa started gathering Mrs. Smitty's books in a rush while trying to hide her embarrassment:

"I'm... I'm fine. I'm so sorry I bumped into you."

The old lady grinned at her:

"No problem, my dear. However, I'm not that young anymore and I could use some help carrying these books inside. I could offer you a cup of tea."

Louisa smiled:

"It won't be necessary. It'll be my pleasure to carry those books for you ma'am."

xXxXx

Mrs. Smitty entered her office followed by Louisa. She indicated the girl where to land the books and went to her electric kettle.

"When you said tea wouldn't be necessary; did you mean you don't like tea or you were just trying not to give me trouble?"

Mrs. Smitty casted her a mischievous glance and Louisa couldn't help but chuckle:

"I actually love tea. I just don't want to bother you any longer. Especially after I almost knocked you down."

"Nonsense. I always like to have company for tea. You already proved me you're a polite yet clumsy girl. And for the weight you seem to be carrying on your back, I'd guess you are also a book-worm."

"Guilty as charged."

Louisa smiled and sat down at the chair Mrs. Smitty was pointing to her. The lady dished the tea for both of them and sat on a chair that faced Louisa's.

"I believe we haven't been properly introduced; I'm Eleanor Smitty, the owner of this book shop."

"My name is Louisa Hummel and I'm Maggie's friend and roommate."

"Nice to meet you, Louisa. Could you do me a favor and pick that picture frame that's behind you?"

As Louisa turned to pick it, Eleanor went on:

"Take a look at it. See that boy? He's my son."

Louisa stared at the smiling boy who appeared to have eighteen years at most. He was in a beach setting and waved at the camera. She didn't know what Mrs. Smitty's point was, so she tried a nice comment:

"He's very handsome."

"He took his life. He was smiling all the time; but a mother always knows when a kid is screaming on the inside. Unfortunately, nobody talked about depression at that time and my husband never let him seek for the appropriate help. He was the one who took this picture of our son a few weeks before the incident. He used to say I spoiled the boy too much and I wasn't teaching him how to be a man. Sorry, I digress. What I mean is that I know that look on your face..."

Louisa was totally caught by surprise and she couldn't make sense of the woman's words:

"I'm sorry?"

Eleanor went on ignoring Louisa's astonishment:

"What's your diagnose?"

Louisa was even more perplexed, but she ended up lowering her head and answering in the stronger voice she could manage at the moment: a mere whisper.

"Anxiety disorders... depression comes as a side effect..."

Mrs. Smitty nodded:

"You see; I could use some help around the shop..."

Louisa got up:

"I don't think I can accept your offer..."

"Why not?"

They both stared at each other in silence. Louisa wanted to run away from there the fastest she could. Or that the floor opened up so she could hide. However, she knew she had a moral debt with this lady. Finally, she came up with a question:

"What was his name?"

"Warren."

"You see; I know your look too. I've seen it a million times on my mother: it's absolute concern yet absolute powerlessness."

"So why don't we make a change for them?"

Louisa measured the wise eyes of the woman in front of her:

"Don't you think it would be too cruel on both of us?"

Mrs. Smitty smiled the most earnest smile she gave all the afternoon:

"I don't remember my son with sorrow. I rejoice the wonderful person he was. What's her name? Your mother's?"

Louisa grinned for the first time since entering that shop:

"Maria. I'm Maria Louisa after her."

A few more moments of silence went by with Eleanor just smiling at the girl. Louisa could feel those eyes weighting on her and sighed:

"You've got me, ma'am: for her. I'm in."

Mrs. Smitty clapped her hands:

"Great, my darling. It will be our little secret. And please call me Eleanor."

xXxXx

Louisa went to meet Kurt at a bar called Call Backs as the night began to fall. She entered the building and saw her cousin waving at her from the counter.

"Hi pumpkin. Why are we meeting here?"

Blaine got up from behind the counter saying "hi" and scaring Louisa.

"Blaine! You scared me to death."

He laughed with her:

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. But you're not the only one with great news today. This is my new job. Here, these drinks are on the house."

Louisa looked concerned at him:

"Are you sure it's such a good idea to be handing out free drinks on your first day?"

Blaine laughed:

"It's still my bartender training. I'm not allowed to serve these to paying customers; if you don't have them, I'll have to throw them out. They are also nonalcoholic. Anyway, I'll only take the night shifts as I'm being trained. As I'm underage; I'll be taking the lunch shifts. I've got to go now to check the stock, but enjoy your beverages."

Louisa sipped her drink and turned to Kurt:

"He's actually good at this."

Kurt smirked at her:

"Are you warming up to Blaine?"

"Not so much as I'm trying not to cause you any trouble. I pretty much hate him."

Kurt rolled his eyes at her:

"I know all your hating Blaine thing is because you love me and that's why I'm asking you to try."

"I'm trying to protect you."

"I know, sweetie, but I don't need protection. I need peace between my cuties. See, I'm not even asking you to be friends with Rachel."

She snorted and observed as he smilingly took another sip from his drink. As a proud mother, she said to her cousin:

"I love you, pumpkin."

He made an aw face and hugged her:

"I love you too, boo; and I'm really happy that you have moved near me. But, you need to stop hating everyone else I love. Believe me, Blaine is not the bad guy. Could you give him a chance?"

She smirked:

"I could think of it if you told me what's behind your long face..."

Kurt sighed:

"You can read me too well! That could be annoying. I'm just a little blue today. I thought by now New York wouldn't crush me so much."

"Kurt! You are doing great! You are in the greatest city in the world; studying at the best academy and doing an internship in a fashion magazine. Not to mention a boyfriend that - I have to give it to him - will do anything for you. You got a brilliant future ahead of you. You know what I think? I think it would do amazingly well for both of us if you went on that stage and sang. I miss hearing your singing voice."

Five minutes later, Kurt was being called at the stage.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen; my name is Kurt Hummel and I'll be singing Come So Far from the musical Hairspray."

Hey old friend let's look back

On the crazy clothes we wore

Ain't it fun to look back

And to see it's all been done before

All those nights together

Are a special memory

And I can't wait for tomorrow

Just as long as you're dancing next to me

'Cause it's so clear every year we get stronger

What's gone is gone, the past is the past

Turn the radio up and then hit the gas 'cause

I know we've come so far

But we've got so far to go

I know the road seems long

But it won't be long 'till it's time to go

So most days we'll take it fast

And some nights we'll take it slow

I know we've come so far

But baby, baby we've got so far to go

Hey old friend together

Side by side and year by year

The road was filled with twists and turns

Oh, but that's the road that got us here

Let's move past the bad times

But before those memories fade

Let's forgive but not forget

And learn from all the mistakes we made

'Cause it's so clear every year we get stronger

So don't give up and don't say when

And just get back on the road again 'cause

I know we've come so far

But we've got so far to go

I know the road seems long

But it won't be long 'till it's time to go

So most days we'll take it fast

And some nights we'll take it slow

I know we've come so far

But baby, baby we've got so far to go

Hey old friend come along for this ride

There's plenty of room so jump inside

The highway's rocky every now and then

But it's so much better then where I've been

Just keep movin' at your own speed

Your heart is all the compass you'll ever need

Let's keep cruisin' the road we're on

'Cause the rear view mirror only shows what's gone, gone, gone

We got so far to go

Oh, it's so clear every year we get stronger

So shine that light, take my hand

Let's dance into the promise land 'cause

I know we've come so far

But we've got so far to go

I know the road seems long

But it won't be long 'till it's time to go

So most days we'll take it fast

And some nights we'll take it slow

I know we've come so far

But baby, baby we've got so far to go

But baby, baby we've got so far to go

xXxXx

Kurt saw more familiar faces applauding him as he finished his song. He got down from the stage and walked towards his brother and Rachel:

"So glad you got to see the end of my number."

Rachel was already hugging him:

"You sounded incredible, Kurt!"

He smiled confidently:

"Well, it was little Louisa there who convinced me."

Rachel shot a glance towards where the other girl was sitting at the bar. She tried to hide the scorn on her face before turning back to Kurt:

"It seems a little crowded at the bar. Finn and I can sit at that little table over there."

Kurt wasn't entirely convinced by her:

"Ok. If we can find a table for four we can all sit together."

Rachel was pulling Finn to the table and the boy was complaining:

"I get that you don't like her; but you could at least try to be polite. You didn't even give me the chance to greet her."

"She hates me too. She doesn't bother to hide."

Finn mumbled to himself:

"Neither do you..."

"What?"

"Nothing! Have you decided if you are singing tonight?"

She smirked at him:

"Oh yeah, I'll be singing. I know exactly what..."

Blaine announced Rachel at the stage:

"Please help me welcome NYADA student Rachel Berry."

They had become regulars at Call Backs and Rachel was welcomed with a round of applause.

"Hello, I'm Rachel Berry and I'll be following my friend Kurt in paying homage to the musical Hairspray."

She sang The New Girl in Town with a killer glance constantly focused on Louisa.

Hey! Look out for that moving van,

Driving down our streets,

You better lock up your man, before he meets:

The new girl in town! Who just came on the scene,

The new girl in town! Can't be more than sixteen,

And she's got a way of making a boy act like a clown!

And we don't know what to do,' bout the new girl in town.

The new girl in town seems to dance on air,

The new girl in town

She's got the coolest hair!

You better tell the homecoming queen to hold on to her crown

or she's gonna lose it to the new girl in town.

She's hip.

So cool.

I'm gonna get her after school.

And yet we'd like to be like her,

cause she's the kitten that the cats prefer.

The new girl in town has my guy on a string.

The new girl in town, hey look, she's wearing his ring!

I can't stop crying and so in my own tears I'm gonna drown

He wants to rendez-vous with the new girl.

We kind of sad and blue

Yes it's true girl

We'd like to say to the new girl in town

From out of the blue girl

This town's in a stew girl

What a hullabaloo girl

She ain't just passing throught girl

She's sticking like glue girl

To the man I thought I knew girl

Hey look out for that moving van

Look out,Look out,Look out,Look out

She was the new girl in.. town.

The Brazilian at first moved uncomfortably on her stool but then began to glance back at Rachel declaring war was on.

xXxXx

Finn and Louisa were alone in a room rehearsing to Shakira's Hips Don't Lie. Finn was struggling with the choreography. Louisa approached him and placed his hands on her hips, letting them be guided by her body's wiggles. As they danced, they were getting closer and closer.

I never really knew that she could dance like this

She makes a man wants to speak Spanish

Como se llama

Bonita

Mi casa, su casa

Oh baby when you talk like that

You make a woman go mad

So be wise and keep on

Reading the signs of my body

And I'm on tonight you know my hips don't lie

And I'm starting to feel it's right

All the attraction, the tension

Don't you see baby, this is perfection

Hey Girl, I can see your body moving

And it's driving me crazy

And I didn't have the slightest idea

Until I saw you dancing

And when you walk up on the dance floor

Nobody cannot ignore

The way you move your body, girl

And everything so unexpected, the way you right and left it

So you can keep on shaking it

I never really knew that she could dance like this

She makes a man wants to speak Spanish

Como se llama

Bonita

Mi casa, su casa

Oh baby when you talk like that

You make a woman go mad

So be wise and keep on

Reading the signs of my body

And I'm on tonight you know my hips don't lie

And I am starting to feel you boy

Come on lets go, real slow

Don't you see baby asi es perfecto

I know I am on tonight

My hips don't lie and I am starting to feel it's right

All the attraction, the tension

Don't you see baby, this is perfection

Oh boy, I can see your body moving

Half animal, half man

I don't, don't really know what I'm doing

But you seem to have a plan

My will and self restraint

Have come to fail now, fail now

See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know

That's a bit too hard to explain

Baila en la calle de noche

Baila en la calle de día

Baila en la calle de noche

Baila en la calle de día

I never really knew that she could dance like this

She makes a man wants to speak Spanish

Como se llama

Bonita

Mi casa, su casa

Oh baby when you talk like that

You know you got me hypnotized

So be wise and keep on

Reading the signs of my body

Señorita,

Feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Colombia

Mira en Barranquilla se baila así, say it!

En Barranquilla se baila así

Yeah, she's so sexy every man's fantasy a refugee

Like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country

I go back like when Pac carried crates

For Humpty Humpty we need a whole club dizzy

Why the CIA wanna watch us? Colombians and Haitians

I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction

No more do we snatch ropes

Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats

I'm on tonight

My hips don't lie and I am starting to feel you boy

Come on lets go, real slow

Baby like this is perfecto

Oh, you know I am on tonight

My hips don't lie and I am starting to feel it's right

The attraction

The tension

Baby, like this is perfection

No fighting

No fighting

The song ended and they stood staring at each other. Louisa leaned in for a kiss and Finn woke up in a sudden. He was sweating and he could hear Rachel groaning by his side. She mumbled:

"Finn, what's wrong?"

He lay next to her and whispered in her ear:

"Nothing, sweetie; I just had a nightmare."

"You woke me up."

She was grumpy and he was trying to calm her down.

"Do you want me to go get you some water?"

"Yes, please."

On his way to the kitchen, a single line of thought was forming in his head: I'm screwed!

xXxX

Louisa was arranging a pile of books when Eleanor came near her and touched her shoulder:

"How's your first day, my darling?"

"Excellent! Thank you so much for this opportunity."

"We are about to close. Can I ask you something?"

Louisa smiled:

"Anything for my fairy-godmother."

"I heard you are a NYADA student. Could you sing for me? I'd love to listen to your voice..."

Louisa considered for a few seconds and came up with the perfect song to express her feelings at the moment: All Star by Smash Mouth. The song gave her a new boost to finish her work for the day.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see

So what's wrong with taking the back streets?

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey, now, you're an All Star get your game on, go play

Hey, now, you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder

You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older

But the media men beg to differ

Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin

The water's getting warm so you might as well swim

My world's on fire. How about yours?

That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas

I need to get myself away from this place

I said yep, what a concept

I could use a little fuel myself

And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see

So what's wrong with taking the back streets

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow.

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold

As she reached the last chord; she began to hear applause. She smiled as she saw Finn by the door; but her smile soon fade away as she spotted Rachel standing next to him. Finn, unaware of his surroundings, exclaimed:

"That was awesome! I've never heard you singing voice; it's beautiful."

Louisa blushed:

"Thank you."

Rachel was disgusted by the interaction going on by her side. She faked a smiled and said to the other girl:

"Kurt told us where you were working and we thought of coming by to say hello on your first day."

Louisa wouldn't go down without a fight:

"That's so nice of you. You are unlucky, however. We are about to close and you won't have much time to look around. But I'm inviting you to come back another time and have a cup of coffee. My treat."

Finn was caught by his stomach:

"Awesome!" 

Rachel saw through Louisa and put on her poker face too:

"Of course we'll, sweetie. Well, since you are closing; we better leave. See you at NYADA."

Louisa watched as Rachel pulled Finn outside the store. What she didn't see was Brody bumping into them on their way out.

xXxXx

Brody always found awkward meeting Rachel with her boyfriend. They had tried to be friends but they both knew they were interested in the same girl. Brody hadn't given up his hopes on Rachel because he knew she felt something other than friendship for him.

He approached the shop and saw the girl he was looking for dressed in her working apron. She was cuter than he remembered. The bell on the door jingled as he opened it; but Louisa was too distracted organizing a pile of books to hear it. As he approached the girl, he could tell she was daydreaming. His mind began to add two plus two and he came to a conclusion:

"It's Finn then."

She jumped at the sound of his voice. But as she saw it was him, she simply smiled politely:

"Oh, it's you. Sorry, we are closed. But you were saying?"

"It's Finn; isn't it? The one you've been daydreaming about."

Louisa was red but she kept on her serious face:

"Finn is practically my cousin."

Brody knew he had hit the spot and couldn't help but smirk:

"Practically; but for real, he's not."

"I don't know what you are talking about..."

He approached her and could feel the proximity made her nervous:

"The only think on your way is Rachel. Well, today is your lucky day: I want her and you want him. I say we make a deal."

Her breathing was uneven but she made a disgusted face the same way:

"That's sick."

He snorted:

"But I got you thinking."

She pushed him away and walked back to the books she was arranging:

"We are closed. You better go now."

He smirked again:

"Fine, I'll go. But I warn you that you'll be hearing much about me the next days."

She rolled her eyes as he walked outside the door.

xXxXx

At the end of the week, Coffee'N'Stuff was found filled with NYADA students. Finn had come to pick Rachel up and had insisted with her to join Kurt and Blaine in their visit to Louisa's work place. She and Maggie had finished their shifts and allowed them to stay for more cups of coffee on the house. Brody had heard the invitation as he was in the store stalking Louisa; his new habit. (Not that she was as much annoyed by that as she wanted to make it seem).

Even if the threats were silent; one could feel the tension in the air. Blaine, who was still on his quest to make his relationship with Louisa calmer, asked Maggie if he could use their piano. He sat down and coughed to get everyone's attention:

"I've been missing the big group numbers we used to have in Glee club. Would you join me on a song?"

Kurt, who couldn't hide the grin on his face whenever he looked at Blaine, was the first to answer:

"I will! What do you have in mind?"

Blaine winked at him and began to play the first chords of Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. Kurt sat by his side on the piano and began to sing with him.

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

One by one, the others joined them and they finished the song as a choir singing together about the incertitude of their future.

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Feel the rain on your ski

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

For the few minutes the song lasted; the tensions were dissolved and one could see some smiles between enemies. Maybe they could write a future in which they all could fit.


	3. Call Me Lou

Rubbing other people's sweat out of the floor wasn't the most pleasant activity Louisa knew. She wasn't entirely sure if Cassandra was allowed to have her doing this kind of activity as her punishment, but she wouldn't be the one to give the taste to the infamous Cassy July as to complain to the department chair.

In a way, Louisa liked the physical work as punishment because it was a way to avoid the much worse punishments her thoughts had in store for her. She wasn't angry about what she said to Cassandra; she was angry for having permitted herself to explode and being let in such a vulnerable position. Her secret had been less secure ever since.

She entirely trusted Kurt not to tell anybody about it; but there were other people getting dangerously close. She was glad Eleanor knew it and, knowing Eleanor's own secret, they were now supporting each other. Maggie, Finn and Brody were easily fooled by Louisa's always-on smile. But there was Blaine. He was hot on her trail and nothing whiling to let her go. Rachel and Cassandra would be thrilled to have this to use against Louisa; but not Blaine. Why did he insist so much on being nice to her and gaining her trust?

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by a group of Cassandra's worshippers coming into the room to stretch and rehearsal. The one who seemed to be the queen-bee looked at Louisa on her knees like she was some sort of dust-bin someone forgot to empty:

"Are you done here? We need the classroom and Cassandra said it would be okay..."

Louisa tried to hide her mockery in a smile:

"Pretty much done. You can use the room; I won't be on your way."

She started to collect the cleaning material to put it back in the locker and overheard the girls gossiping:

"So this is the dangerous Carmen Miranda we should all be afraid of?"

"Isn't she supposed to be Brazilian and, you know, hot?"

"What people see in her?"

"Perhaps she's missing her fruit basket and her flock of flying monkeys..."

They fell in a fit of laughter and Louisa just left the room slamming the door behind her to avoid making another scene.

xXxXx

Blaine was peacefully sipping his coffee in one of NYADA's corridors. Then, all of a sudden, a pearly-white blur passed him by and entered in one of the rehearsal auditoriums. That skin color left no doubts that it was one of the Hummels, but the flow of straight brown hair behind it made him sure it was Louisa.

Blaine followed her in the auditorium and closed the door behind him. She was absorbed in her activity of pacing around training high notes on the stage. He walked slowly towards her and only hesitantly called her name when he was midway. She turned to him in rage:

"What? What do you want now?"

Blaine's patience had limits and he strongly threw his bag at a chair and ran the stairs to the stage:

"ENOUGH! Enough now; we need to talk! If not for me, for Kurt's sake at least."

She rolled her eyes:

"It's for Kurt's sake that I am polite and friendly to you. But we don't need to be pals."

"What's your problem with me anyway?"

She looked at him with a face that showed she did not believe her ears:

"You still ask? After what you did to him? After how hard you broke his heart? I know I lived far but Kurt and I have always been close. He trusts me. He called me to tell everything he was going through. I heard him sob and I heard him cry; it broke my heart. That's why I hate you."

Blaine had a lot to say; many words Kurt had used after they've got back together to comfort him about his mistake. However, his guilt spoke louder and he fought with his tears. He cleaned the single one that had escaped him, sighed and sat at the piano. He knew he was not good at talking about his emotions, but he was terrific at singing them. He began to sing Something from the Beatles changing the pronouns to make it adequate for him and Kurt.

Something in the way he moves

Attracts me like no other lover

Something in the way he woos me

I don't want to leave him now

You know I believe and how

At first, Louisa turned at him surprised, but whiting a few verses she joined him humming a backing vocal. It soon turned into a duet with Louisa adding lyrics to Blaine's melody.

Somewhere in his smile he knows (Does he?)

That I don't need no other lover

Something in his style that shows me

I don't want to leave him now (You don't want to leave him now)

You know I believe and how

She was using the song to confront him about his feelings towards her cousin and to warn him she was around to protect Kurt.

You're asking me will my love grow (I'm asking you, I'm asking you)

I don't know, I don't know (Will your love grow)

You stick around and it may show (I'll stick around you've better show)

I don't know, I don't know (You don't know, you don't know)

Something in the way he knows

And all I have to do is think of him (So think of him)

Something in the things he shows me

I don't want to leave him now (You don't want to leave him now)

You know I believe and how (I can believe it now)

Blaine finished the last chords on the piano and they stood quietly staring at each other.

Louisa was the one to break it first with a smirk:

"I guess you are okay."

Blaine snorted and shook his head:

"What? That's really all you have to say? Stubbornness really runs in the family."

"Get over it pal; that's the best you can get."

Blaine stood up from the stool and leaned closer to her:

"I'm not giving up on you."

Her smile now was honest:

"Thank you."

Blaine was surprised by her reaction:

"For what?"

"For not giving up on Kurt."

It was Blaine's turn to smirk:

"My pleasure."

She rolled her eyes but started laughing. Blaine dared pass his arm around her in a side hug; she let. They'd find a way to understand each other.

xXxXx

Finn was nervous while he waited Rachel to get back home. He ran to her as soon as he heard the key on the door:

"Did you get it?"

She looked down and pursed her lips before looking at him grinning and nod. Finn's own smile couldn't fit his face and he lifted her up in the air and started twisting:

"I knew it; I knew it! This calls for a celebration."

Rachel couldn't stop herself from laughing but tried to get some sense into him:

"A got a part in the ensemble and it's an off-off-Broadway production."

"But you are still part of the cast of Spring Awakening and it's still in New York, right? We could call it your kind of Broadway debut, right?"

She smiled her proud smile at him:

"I love your optimism. You are right: this call for a celebration."

Finn gave an excited jump and punch in the air. Rachel walked towards him and grabbed his waist:

"Can we celebrate it my way?

He smirked as he pushed a stray of hair away from her face:

"What do you have in mind?"

She let go of him and walked to their stereo. She turned it on and found the song she wanted in the CD they've been listening to for the past week. Turning to her boyfriend, Rachel signaled him to join her:

"You've been helping me prepare for my audition and I thought we could have a celebratory duet."

The chords of Touch Me from Spring Awakening started filling the room. Finn joined her in the center of the room and began to sing.

Where I go, when I go there

No more memory anymore

Only men on distant ships, the women with them

Swimming with them to shore

Where I go, when I go there

No more whispering anymore

Only hymns upon your lips

A mystic wisdom, rising with them to shore

Touch me just like that

And that, oh, yeah, now that's heaven

Now that I like, God, that's so nice

Now lower down where the figs lie

Ohh, my God, ohh, yeah, yeah, yeah

Ohh, my God, ohh, yeah, yeah, yeah

Ohh, my God, ohh, yeah, yeah, yeah

He took his girlfriend in his arms and they shared some kisses between the verses they sang.

Ohh, my God, ohh, yeah, yeah, yeah

Touch me

Touch me

Where I go, when I go there

No more shadows anymore

Only men with golden fins

The rhythm in them, rocking with them to shore

Where I go, when I go there

No more weeping anymore

Only in and out your lip

The broken wishes, washing with them to shore

Touch me all silent

Tell me please, all is forgiven

Consume my wine, consume my mind

I'll tell you how, how the winds sigh

Touch me, just try it

Now, there, thats it, oh, God, that's heaven

Oh, I'll love you right

We'll wonder down where where the sins cry

Touch me just like that

Now we'll wonder down where the sins cry

Love me just for a bit

We'll wander down where the winds sigh

Where the winds sigh

Where the winds sigh

Where the winds sigh

Things were getting hotter and hotter and the celebratory duet was soon replaced by celebratory love making.

At the end, Rachel was lying on Finn's shoulder and tracing patterns with her fingers in his chest. He just adoringly observed her fingers and smiled. At last, he kissed the top of her head for which she responded with a pleased hum:

"It feels so good being in your arms."

Finn let his head fall on the pillow and the smile on his face:

"I missed us being like that. I like when it's all peace and quiet."

"Lately we haven't been only two of us on this bed, am I right? I always feel like Louisa and Brody are haunting us all night."

Finn made an uncomfortable groan and Rachel adjusted herself so she could watch his eyes:

"I'm serious here. Maybe it's time we talk about this because we'll have to keep meeting them. I love you Finn; I really do. I want everything to be alright between us."

He chose to go with sincerity:

"Alright, I am attacked to Louisa. She's pretty, nice, has a great body and the entire thing about her being a foreigner makes her hot and interesting. But I love you Rachel; I love the life we've built together. And I know you still have strong feelings for Brody; but I also know your feelings for me are stronger. So, yes; let's put it all aside and just be us."

"Wow; I wasn't expecting so much sincerity. But I think you've got it right; this is about us and about now. Let's be happy together."

They sealed the deal with yet more passionate kisses.

xXxXx

Slowly Call Backs and Coffee'N'Stuff were becoming their favorite hangout places. Blaine and Louisa's new found truce was celebrated with a lunch at Call Backs to which Kurt was their special guest. Kurt was grinning from ear to ear as he proposed a toast:

"Let's toast peace between my loved ones."

Blaine raised his glass with a "Cheers" but Louisa smirked at him:

"Easy pumpkin; we are not including Rachel in this are we?"

Kurt rolled his eyes:

"Why do you have to be such a buzz-killer?"

She poked her tongue out at him:

"That's exactly what you love about me."

Before Kurt could answer, Blaine was taking the moment to joke:

"Aw! You two and your love are an example for families everywhere."

They all laughed together and Kurt was glad to see Louisa was laughing genuinely and being more her true self with Blaine. He was also fond when his boyfriend started the next conversation:

"Well Louisa; now we are officially friends, can I ask how you are enjoying your New York life so far?"

"First of all Blaine Anderson; let's not push it. I just promised truce. But to answer your question; I like it here a lot. Not that I didn't love my life in Rio and that I don't miss people and places like crazy. Life was getting hard there and studying musical theater here is a blessing. Even with Cassandra July at my back."

Kurt looked at her sympathetically:

"Is she still giving you a hard time?"

She nodded:

"Not that I don't deserve it. The worse part, however, it's not her. I'm fed up with her worshipers who treat me like a slave. I'm done with all the Carmen Miranda jokes and the monkey noises. What are they? Five?"

Blaine nodded understandingly; he was also tired of hearing the same jokes over and over again each class they shared. Kurt, on the other hand, just had an idea:

"I know what you need. For your New York experience to become a real one; you're in desperate need of a makeover."

Louisa entered in her most defensive mode:

"Oh no, no, no."

Kurt wouldn't be convinced so easily:

"Come on; yoga pants, t-shirts and your hippie skirts are not a fashion statement."

"The answer is still no, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel."

Blaine could see both their stubbornness fighting forever; he decided to interfere. He looked straight into Louisa's liquid brown eyes:

"Are you denying your cousin a chance to do a makeover?"

She sighed admitting defeat:

"Fine..."

Kurt squeaked excited:

"Fabulous! It will work just fine; I know this great outlet an hour away. Both I and Blaine have the day off this Saturday; we could rent a car and call it a day."

Blaine smiled seeming happy about the idea and Louisa rolled her eyes not believing what she had caught herself into.

xXxXx

"Rachel!"

Brody was running to reach her and she smiled seeing it was him:

"Hi there."

"Hello, stranger."

Was it wrong if she and Brody were friends? Would Finn feel cheated? To the hell with that, he was the first to be all smiles towards Louisa:

"So, Brody, how's senior year been treating you?"

He grinned:

"Pretty harshly; but I'm a tough guy. And you? What are the news in Rachel Berry's world?"

"I got casted! An off-off-Broadway production of Spring Awakening and I'm part of the ensemble; but still..."

"That's fantastic news, Rachel. Let's go take a coffee and you can tell me all about it."

She hesitated and he looked at her confused:

"What? Are you tired of Coffee'N'Stuff or is it Mr. Boyfriend?"

She bit her lips before answering:

"Don't mock him! Finn and I were in a sort of delicate place and I don't want to make things worse."

"I can't believe it, Rachel. I'm all in for you being true to the one you are with; but I can't believe you two are so narrow-minded as to think a boy and a girl can't be friends. Unless there's something else on your part that you are not telling me..."

There was; there were so many things Finn caught just by looking at her and that Brody either couldn't or pretended he couldn't to tease her. But now if she said no he would be sure; wouldn't he? After all, he was inviting her for coffee at the place where they were bounded to bump into lots of familiar faces; he couldn't mean anything else, could he? One cup of coffee wouldn't kill anyone.

She gladly took the arm he was stretching to her and began to catch him up with everything she had been into lately.

xXxXx

The rented car Kurt had found was really comfortable and Louisa adjusted herself on the back seat preparing for a long day of shopping and try-outs. This wasn't her favorite activity and Kurt and Blaine playing the lovey-dovey couple all day wouldn't make things easier. She let a sigh escape and Kurt had inquiring eyes set on her through the rear mirror. She tried to explain herself:

"I still can't believe you convinced me to do it."

Kurt smirked:

"You know you need it. Darling, I know red shoes can be great to complete an outfit; but if you wear them every day they can't even be called proper."

"You are not taking all my red shoes away from me!"

"Not all of them. You've got at least to buy new red converses ones; the ones you have are a crime. You've got to hand them over, Dorothy. They need to be burned."

Blaine was fighting hard not to laugh. Louisa was awestruck for a while but decided to play along:

"Funny; I've always pictured you as Glinda not Elphaba."

Kurt chuckled:

"But I am!"

He searched for something in his iPod and pressed play. He winked at Louisa:

"I am... Popular..."

Whenever I see someone

Less fortunate than I

(And let's face it - who isn't

Less fortunate than I?)

My tender heart

Tends to start to bleed

And when someone needs a makeover

I simply have to take over

I know, I know exactly what they need

And even in your case

Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face

Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed

Follow my lead

And yes, indeed

You will be

Popular

He began to sing along with Glinda to his recorded version of Popular from Wicked causing the other two to laugh uncontrollably.

You're gonna be popular!

I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boy

Little ways to flirt and flounce ooh

I'll show you what shoes to wear

How to fix your hair

Everything that really counts

Kurt got fueled by his audience and began to make faces that went with the song.

To be popular

I'll help you be popular!

You'll hang with the right cohorts

You'll be good at sports

Know the slang you've got to know

So let's start

'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go:

Don't be offended by my frank analysis

Think of it as personality dialysis

Now that I've chosen to become a pal,

a Sister and adviser

There's nobody wiser

Not when it comes to popular -

I know about popular

And with an assist from me

To be who you'll be

Instead of dreary who-you-were—well are!

There's nothing that can stop you

From becoming popular - la

Blaine took his phone from his pocket and began to record his boyfriend to which Louisa just rolled her eyes.

La la, la la

We're gonna make

You popular

When I see depressing creatures

With unprepossessing features

I remind them on their own behalf

To think of

Celebrated heads of state or

Specially great communicators

Did they have brains or knowledge?

Don't make me laugh! Ha, ha!

They were popular! Please -

It's all about popular!

It's not about aptitude

It's the way you're viewed

So it's very shrewd to be

Very very popularLike me! (Ahh!)

And though you protes

Your disinterest

I know clandestinely

You're gonna grin and bear it

Your new found popularity - hah!

La la la la

You'll be popular -

Just not quite as popular

As me!

With the laughing atmosphere; they weren't aware of the time passing by and, before they realized, Kurt was exclaiming:

"It's here!"

xXxXx

"Kurt! I told you a million times I can't possibly fit into these dresses you are trying to make me wear!"

Kurt sighed is his best diva impersonation:

"Cut down the drama, boo. They're not even that tight!"

"I'm serious Kurt. They don't fit!"

He rolled his eyes:

"You asked for it; I'm coming in."

Before she could say anything; Kurt was already in the cabin with her and closing the drapes behind them. She was essaying a protest but he cut her mid-sentence:

"Come on; I'm your gay cousin and you are not even naked. You can't possibly... Oh My! What are those in your legs?"

She looked down embarrassed:

"The reason why I didn't want you in... That's why I'm always in pants or longs skirts."

"How did you get all those scars in your inner thigh?"

"I was a teenager with my problems; you can do the math..."

Kurt was still shocked and she could see he was a little scared:

"But you don't do that anymore, right? They seem fading."

"I stopped; but the thoughts of doing it again still torment me. But don't worry: I'm in medication and therapy. I searched for help before I got into something really dangerous."

He pulled her for a hug fighting with his tears

"Oh boo! You know you are loved, right? You know how perfect you are? We are here to help you; no matter what. You've got to promise me not to even think about something dangerous."

"I can promise you what I promised to my mother: I will call for help whenever I feel bad and the dangerous thoughts coming towards me. I can't always control my thoughts but I can control what to do about them."

"I'll take that for now. About your legs; I can still make you fabulous. You've just got to learn how to wear stockings; the season will help. I'll get the final things we need and find Blaine for him to see my work of art."

She chuckled. Next thing she knew; Kurt had found matching stockings for the dress and some great shoes to go with it. He had tricked her into wearing a bright red lipstick and was pulling her by the hand out of the cabin.

She saw Blaine's face changing surprised as he saw her in the new clothes.

"Louisa! I think wouldn't recognize you if we met on the street."

She laughed awkwardly:

"All Kurt's work."

Kurt looked at her with a serious face:

"Not at all, my dearest one. Sometimes you can't really see the beautiful woman you have become. But for you not to forget; I have a gift for you. It's just the basic needs but I'm sure you don't have a good one."

He handed her a make-up case from a brand the only thing she knew about was to be an expensive one. She looked at him with moist eyes:

"You are the best cousin in the world, you know that. Thank you. I'm glad you convinced me. You two actually. And Blaine; I hope you know how lucky you are to having this one loving you."

He opened an honest smile and grabbed Kurt by the waist:

"You can believe me Louisa; I know just how lucky I am."

She grinned back:

"Call me Lou, please. It's how my friends in Brazil called me."

Blaine tested the name on his lips:

"Lou... I like it; suits the new you."

xXxXx

"Looking sharp, Miss Hummel."

Louisa turned to the voice and snorted when she saw Brody:

"Oh, it's you again..."

"Why? You were waiting for Finn?"

She turned around and began to walk away but he held her by her wrist:

"Wait! I get it; I was not nice. My proposition to you was simply awful and I'm here to apologize. Can we start over? Good morning, Louisa. You are looking very nice in your new clothes."

She measured him intrigued but decided to see where it would lead to:

"Thank you. It's part of the perks of beings Kurt Hummel's cousin."

"Ha! I knew Kurt was somehow involved. I must say I have a keen for Kurt's make-overs; they always work."

"You are impossible, you know that?"

He leaned absurdly close and whispered:

"And you like it. You know that?"

"Cocky, aren't we?"

She caught him off-guard and he laughed:

"Come on; we are friends now, right? Let's celebrate it with a duet. I know just the song."

Brody went to the corner of the empty classroom they were in to turn the stereo on. After a little research to the attached computer, he turned to her and began to sing along John Travolta to the first verses of Grease's You Are The One That I Want.

I got chills, they're multiplying

And I'm losing control

'Cause the power, you're supplying

It's electrifying!

Brody was dancing in a sexy provocative way that made Louisa laugh at first. However, she decided to take the challenge and synchronized with Olivia Newton-John's voice while dancing in a teasingly way.

You better shape up, 'cause I need a man

And my heart is set on you

You better shape up, you better understand

To my heart I must be true

Nothing left, nothing left for me to do

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Oo,Oo,Oo honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Oo, Oo, Oo honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Oo, Oo, Oo, the one that I need

Oh yes indeed

Anyone passing by would say they were singing and dancing in a flirting way but neither of them would admit it. Well, not first.

If you're filled with affection

You're too shy to convey

Meditate my direction

Feel your way

I better shape up, 'cause you need a man

I need a man who can keep me satisfied

I better shape up, if I'm gonna prove

You better prove that my faith is justified

Are you sure? Yes I'm sure down deep inside

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Oo, Oo, Oo honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Oo, Oo, Oo honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Oo, Oo, Oo, the one that I need

Oh yes indeed

They finished the duet so close that they could feel the other's breath on their skin. Their eyes were locked in a gaze. Brody closed his and said smiling:

"We definitively should do this more often."

"Yeah, maybe. If you can improve..."

"Wow! Now I'm seeing what Carmen Miranda got her reputation for."

She laughed and smirked:

"You've seen nothing."

xXxXx

This week had been a roller-coaster in Louisa's life. Kurt was even closer to her to make sure she was alright. She and Blaine were now in a friendlier zone; not that she trusted him 100%, but it wasn't unpleasant anymore to be around him. Kurt's makeover had helped her awake a confident side of her that had been left aside; she had even turned a few necks at NYADA.

Today she was feeling particularly well and confident. She went to an empty rehearsal auditorium and turned all the spotlights on. She imagined herself in front of a full auditorium and sang all her South-American pride through the lyrics of Milton Nascimento's Para Lennon e McCartney. She left her voice flow high not worrying about anything else.

Por que vocês não sabem do lixo ocidental [Because you don't know about the occidental garbage]

Não precisam mais temer [You don't need to fear anymore]

Não precisam da timidez [You don't need to be shy]

Todo dia é dia de viver [Every day is a day to live]

Por que você não verá meu lado ocidental? [Why won't you see my occidental side?]

Não precisa medo não [You don't need fear]

Não precisa da solidão [You don't need lonliness]

Todo dia é dia de viver [Every day is a day to live]

Eu sou da América do Sul [I'm from South America]

Eu sei, vocês não vão saber [And I know you'll never know]

Mas agora sou cowboy [But now I'm a cowboy]

Sou do ouro, eu sou vocês [I came from the gold, I'm like you]

Sou do mundo, sou Minas Gerais [I'm a citizen of the world. I'm from Minas Gerais]

As she finished, she heard applause coming from the audience. She sheltered her eyes to see through the light and saw Kurt and Blaine giving her a standing ovation. Blaine screamed:

"Brava Lou!"

She smiled and bowed to her family in New York.


	4. Jealousy

"Welcome chez Louisa and Maggie!"

Blaine returned her a grin but Kurt was still looking around a little disgusted. Louisa chuckled at her cousin and got him into a hug:

"Don't give me that scrunchy face, pumpkin. I now it's incredible small and away from pretty much everything. But I'm paying my own rent in New York City; shouldn't you be proud of your cousin?"

He put on a smile that everyone knew was forced. Blaine tried to fix the situation:

"He is! Aren't you, handsome?"

Kurt started to mumble something but Louisa interrupted:

"Besides, Kurt, this is a place with two bedrooms and a living-room with a couch. This means you'll have a place to crash whenever this one is giving you a hard time."

Blaine looked at her offended:

"Last time I'll try to help you, Ms. Hummel."

"You are on, Mr. Anderson."

Kurt sighed:

"Oh Goodness! I thought you two had solved your issues! But you are right. Having your own place is something big, boo. Even if I don't think I'll need a time off from Blaine; it's good to know I'll have a place to sit other than your dormitory bed whenever I come visit. Why don't we look for a decent coffee shop around here to have a celebratory cup of coffee?"

Louisa checked her watch:

"Or we could head to NYADA and grab our cups to go at Coffee'N'Stuff; because we are already late."

Kurt rolled his eyes and Blaine ironically commented while giving Louisa small pats on the back:

"Really great place, Lou."

xXxXx

Finn had his mouth full of waffle as Rachel left the bathroom and kissed him good-morning. He managed to swallow as she rushed around preparing her breakfast.

"Are you in a hurry? I thought your classes started late today."

She smiled at him while dishing a cup of coffee:

"They do; but Brody also had a free period and offered to help me with choreography for Spring Awakening."

Finn just nodded and looked back to his waffles. She examined him before exclaiming a little offended:

"What? You are not going to say you are jealous of him!"

Finn dropped his fork irritably

"As a matter of fact; I am! You see; I think it's not fair that last week I completely opened myself to you about what I feel towards Louisa and you said absolutely nothing about Brody. Even after I accused you of still having feelings for him."

"You said yourself, Finn Hudson, that you knew I had feelings for him but you also knew my feelings for you were stronger."

Finn looked at her awestruck:

"And you say it like that? That doesn't mean that I don't care if you go around playing friendly-friends with him! I want you to tell me what feelings are those!"

"You are sounding like a five years old, Finn."

"I'm childish now? I was completely honest with you, Rachel; why can't you give me some light and explain things to me?"

She sighed and looked down for a minute. Then, in the better Rachel Berry style; she broke into a song to show her mind to Finn. And her mind was in a bitch mode in tune with the Spice Girl's Wannabe.

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna,

I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah

If you want my future, forget my past

If you wanna get with me, better make it fast

Now don't go wasting my precious time

Get your act together we could be just fine

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna,

I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends

Make it last forever, friendship never ends

If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give

Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is

Oh, what do you think about that

Now you know how I feel

Say, you can handle my love, are you for real

I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try

If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna,

I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends

Make it last forever, friendship never ends

If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give

Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is

So, here's a story from A to Z

You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully

We got Em in the place who likes it in your face

You got G like MC who likes it on a...

Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady

And as for me, ha you'll see

Slam your body down and wind it all around

Slam your body down and wind it all around

Slam your body down and wind it all around

Slam your body down and zigazig ah

If you wanna be my lover

xXxXx

"Kurt! Your boyfriend was fantastic at his number yesterday. You must be so proud of him."

Kurt smiled politely at his classmate:

"I am."

"Well, I have to go now. Make sure Blaine knows how great he was. Bye."

Kurt really was proud of how great Blaine and Louisa were doing in their first term at NYADA. At the same time, he couldn't help but to feel overshadowed. All the feelings of rejection by not having entered the first time he auditioned and not having a great reputation by now bugged him every day. It was right that Louisa's reputation was more due to her fierce personality; but everyone knew she was a great singer and no one disputed that. Blaine, on the other hand, was known uniquely because of his talent and, although extremely happy for him, Kurt couldn't avoid feeling inferior.

He was distracted from his thoughts by hands covering his eyes from behind:

"Guess who!"

Kurt smiled and grabbed the hands:

"Like I could ever not recognize you, Blee."

Blaine smiled and pulled him for a kiss. Kurt pecked him but was trying to get away from the embrace. Blaine tightened the grip and whispered in a low voice in his ear:

"Come on, gorgeous; the hallway is empty. I miss you so much. We've spent the whole morning apart."

Kurt couldn't resist Blaine's sexy voice and gave in locking their mouths in a passionate kiss. Blaine broke apart after a while with a wide grin spread across his swollen lips. Kurt looked at him and smiled back:

"Have I told you today that I love you?"

Blaine intertwined their fingers:

"You have; but I'm never tired of hearing it from the love of my life. Come on; walk me to my work place and I'll feed you lunch."

xXxXx

Finn arrived at NYADA with a bouquet of roses only to see Brody beating him and approaching Rachel first. Finn was in a hearing distance but somehow concealed so they weren't seeing him. He saw Brody tapping his girlfriend's shoulder and listened to him saying:

"Hey Rachel; how about lunch today? I heard the cafeteria has prepared their famous meatballs."

"Well, I'm vegan. But I insist on paying you lunch today. It's only fair after all the work you went through this morning to teach me those steps."

Finn watched Rachel taking the guy's arm and walking away with him. He didn't know what to do and just stared as the pair slowly faded away in the crowd. He was standing in the middle of the lobby, the bouquet threatening to fall from his hand when he felt a hand lightly touching his shoulder:

"Finn? Are you alright?"

He looked at the source at the voice still a little dizzy. He saw Louisa standing next to him with a half-smile on her lips and looking like she was expecting an answer. He nodded but she didn't buy it:

"Come on; walk with me to work and you can explain things over a cup of tea."

She started walking on the bookstore's way and it took Finn a few seconds before deciding to follow her.

xXxXx

Louisa opened the door to Books'N'Stuff and smiled a little at the now familiar sound of the bell. Finn was following her looking out of place there; as he wasn't a NYADA student, he didn't go there so often. She turned to him trying to make him more comfortable:

"We can go upstairs and have something on the coffee-shop or I can make you some tea at the staff-room if you rather talk somewhere quiet."

He took some time to process the information

"Upstairs. I want to grab something to eat too."

"Okay; I have fifteen minutes before my shift starts and we can talk about what's bugging you."

They sat in silence while Finn drank his latte and ate a sandwich. It wasn't awkward and they stared at each other and exchanged some smiles. When he was finished, she friendly touched his arm and looked straight in his eyes:

"Do you want to talk?"

He sighed:

"Maybe it'll work; I just don't know where to start... It's Rachel... And Brody..."

Louisa rolled her eyes:

"I know he can be upsetting."

"Tell me about it... It's just... ugh! I can't even find the words!"

She pointed her head towards the piano. He shook his head back:

"I can't play."

"Chose a song and I put it on the stereo."

He walked where she was pointing and connected his iPod to the system. He searched for the song and hit play to John Lennon's Jealous Guy. He sung the entire song looking at Louisa. His mind was troubled mixing images of her and Rachel; he didn't know to whom he was singing anymore.

I was dreaming of the past

And my heart was beating fast

I began to lose control

I began to lose control

I didn't mean to hurt you

I'm sorry that I made you cry

Oh my, I didn't want to hurt you

I'm just a jealous guy

I was feeling insecure

You might not love me anymore

I was shivering inside

I was shivering inside

Oh I didn't mean to hurt you

I'm sorry that I made you cry

Oh my I didn't want to hurt you

I'm just a jealous guy

I didn't mean to hurt you

I'm sorry that I made you cry

Oh my I didn't want to hurt you

I'm just a jealous guy

I was trying to catch your eye

Thought that you was trying to hide

I was swallowing my pain

I was swallowing my pain

I didn't mean to hurt you

I'm sorry that I made you cry

Oh no I didn't want to hurt you

I'm just a jealous guy

Watch out baby,I'm just a jealous guy

Look out baby, I'm just a jealous guy

Louisa smiled as he finished and his mind was brought back to reality:

"In one thing Rachel is right: singing about your feelings really helps."

She pursed her lips and nodded:

"You two will figure things out."

Finn let out a long exhale:

"I'm not so sure. She's confused about her feelings and I'm about mine. Anyway, thank you for the help. I'll let you work now. Here: you can keep the flowers."

xXxXx

Rachel and Brody decided to go get coffee after lunch and were walking towards Coffee'N'Stuff. They saw Louisa sniffing some flowers in a vase before placing it at the shop's window. Seconds later, the door opened to reveal Finn waving at her and leaving the shop. Rachel pulled Brody by the arm to hide behind a column:

"Did you see it? Finn just gave her flowers!"

Brody seemed disturbed by it as well. He pulled Rachel back to NYADA:

"Come on; we don't have to watch it..."

Brody didn't thought he'd be so annoyed that Louisa was interacting with Finn. Wasn't it what he wanted after all? With Finn out of the way; Rachel would be free, right? Without seeing what he was doing Brody had guided them towards the classrooms and they were entering an empty one.

Rachel threw her purse away and let her body slide against the wall to sit on the floor. Brody was quick to sit at her side and take her hand. She looked at him:

"What does he see on her?"

"She's kind of hot. You know... exotic."

She rolled her eyes:

"Oh please. She's just the girl next door. Her Channel hair is so last season and her face is just normal. It's all just because you know she's Brazilian."

He smirked:

"Oh no, Rachel; she's pretty. And since Kurt gave her a makeover; you can see it. You are not a guy; but there's something about those hips. It's like they say: Brazilians do it better."

Rachel made a disgusted face:

"Don't tell me you two..."

"Not yet; but soon. Mark my words, Rachel Berry: soon."

She looked down and started playing with her fingers:

"I thought you loved me."

He carefully touched her face and lifted it up:

"I do. Maybe I'm just getting tired of being single. You still insist on Finn... And, in case you haven't noticed; I want it all..."

In his best rock-star posture, Brody stood up and plugged in an electric guitar. He winked at Rachel and started his performance of Queen's I Want It All.

Adventure seeker on an empty street,

Just an alley creeper, light on his feet

A young fighter screaming, with no time for doubt

With the pain and anger can't see a way out,

It ain't much I'm asking, I heard him say,

Gotta find me a future move out of my way,

I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,

I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now.

Listen all you people, come gather round

I gotta get me a game plan, gotta shake you to the ground

Just give me what I know is mine,

People do you hear me, just give me the sign,

It ain't much I'm asking, if you want the truth

Here's to the future for the dreams of youth,

I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,

I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now.

I'm a man with a one track mind,

So much to do in one life time

Not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies

So I'm living it all, yes I'm living it all,

And I'm giving it all, and I'm giving it all,

It ain't much I'm asking, if you want the truth,

Here's to the future, hear the cry of youth,

I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,

I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now.

Rock was his thing and Brody shined in all his colors. Rachel had no choice but to give him a standing ovation when he was over.

"Thank you, my best groupie."

"And your point with all of this is?"

"That I'm insatiable."

xXxXx

"You called cousin-deliver and here I am."

Louisa turned towards Kurt and embraced him in a bone-crushing hug:

"You don't know how happy I am to see you, silly."

"Wow! From that face I can tell things are worse than I thought."

She simply nodded. He snorted:

"Come on, boo. I'll take you to a fancy place and you can tell me all about it."

He took her to a cozy Italian place they hardly ever went because it was expensive. After an appetizer of a few focaccias to dye for, Louisa's tongue was freer:

"Can I tell you a secret?"

Kurt took her hand and squeezed it:

"When did I ever let you down?"

She smiled and went on in a conspirator whisper:

"I have a crush on Finn and, after this afternoon, I think he's one on me too."

Kurt gasped:

"Oh My! Boo, what the hell happened this afternoon? I was sure you had something going on with Brody!"

She blushed

"Well, Brody and I may have flirted; but he's in love with Rachel. Anyway, Finn went to NYADA today to give Rachel some flowers; I think they had a fight this morning. So he gets there with this huge bouquet and sees her going to lunch with Brody. That's when I walked in and saw him devastated. I took him to have a cup of coffee and we talked. Actually, he sang about being jealous. It was supposed to be about Rachel; but his eyes were telling something else..."

"You are getting yourself into quite some trouble, little one. They are already a triangle and you are just entering some very turbulent waters."

She browsed her forehead:

"I know! But what can I do? The people I hang out around here are your friends. They all already had relationships going on and I simply appeared out of thin air!"

"They all like you; well, maybe not Rachel. But this is your group too; don't think you're not welcome. But maybe hanging out with other people would be good for you."

"I'm thinking about it; Maggie invited me to join her show-choir group. Apple something... At first I thought I couldn't conciliate it with work and school; but now I'm considering it."

Kurt recovered from his shock and bumped the table:

"You are not joining the Adamless' Apples!"

"That's the name. Wait! Why not?

Kurt rolled his eyes:

"Because you are trying to engage in social suicide!"

"Hang on a minute; wasn't Adam the guy you dated while you were broken-up with Blaine?"

Kurt stuttered:

"It was; but that's not the point!"

"Yes, it is! You are being hypocrite! The hot guy could have a show-choir group but I can't join it without becoming a pariah?"

"You never liked show-choir! You are not doing it because you love it; you are doing it to push people away!"

She was outraged:

"I certainly am not!"

"Yes, you are! You know what I think? You are so afraid of showing people who you really are that you are forcing people to see you as an outcast."

She couldn't take it anymore. She got up and threw some dollars at the table:

"That's it! I'm leaving now. Thank you for the dinner."

xXxXx

Blaine was anxious waiting for Kurt to get home. He had said he would meet Lou at the bookstore but it had been hours ago. Blaine had called him several times but all the calls ended up in voice mail. Something must have happened.

After the last unanswered text Blaine let himself fall on the couch and stood there massaging his temple. The problem wasn't just that Kurt was late; the problem was that Kurt always had somewhere else to go. They hardly saw each other after having breakfast together nowadays. Kurt was always surrounded by new friends and classmates. The only new friend Blaine had made was Kurt's cousin; and even she didn't like him very much.

He fought his tears the best way he knew how: singing. He sat by the small keyboard they had managed to squeeze into the apartment and began to play a song by the indie artist Darren Criss.

I hate where I'm at

Acting crazy like that

I know that I've been wrong

It's something I've been working on

And I don't know what to do

It's changing me, it's killing you

I'd tear out my insides if I could

But I don't know if it'd do me good

I'm sorry friends, I'm sorry lovers

To put us all in this mess

I know we've still got each other

But I'm in distress

'Cause every time that I feel like I've figured it out

Can't seem to figure it in

It's got nothing to do with me

It's not even you, you see

It's part of my chemistry

It's this jealousy

In absolutely no position

To be so needlessly unkind

When I'm the one writing this fiction

Make it real in my mind

It drives me crazy in the morning

Who is this monster in the mirror?

I try to get the steam to fog it out

But I just can't get it clear

Oh, and I can't stand what I'm feeling

It's just like poison in my veins

I know that I'm speaking

But I don't know what I'm saying

'Cause every time that I feel like the world just got lighter

It seems that my muscles give out

It's got nothing to do with me

It's not even you, you see

It's part of my chemistry

It's this jealousy

And I'm hearing your voice

Babe you know it's your choice

Maybe so

I know it's no use

But it's the only excuse

That I know

Know, know...

Let me go

Let me go

Oh, let me go

Oh, let me go

Now let's be real I've been just like a child

Man, someone could be taking all my toys

So call me dumb, call me wild

See that's the thing with little boys

Oh, I know I can't get it out in the shower

Or drink it off at the bar

This sugar's gone sour

And it's gone way too far

'Cause every time that I feel like I'm riding so high, feel on top of the world

The bitch just keeps telling me no

It's got nothing to do with me

It's not even you, you see

It's part of my chemistry

This demon is killing me

And, oh, Christ it's filling me

It's this jealousy

Oh, and I just can't believe

In this jealousy

This jealousy for you

Oh, this jealousy

This jealousy for you...

However, he couldn't finish playing Jealousy without letting the tears fall. That was when Kurt entered the apartment and saw him crying.

Soon, Kurt's arms were involving him but it didn't make him feel any better:

"Where were you?"

Kurt looked at him seeming hurt:

"I took Louisa to dinner. Well, I tried; we fought and she stormed out. So I walked around for a while to calm down."

"Couldn't you at least pick up your phone to tell me you weren't dead?"

"Easy, Blaine! You clearly must be hurt about something; but there's no need to use this tone with me. I had a rough day too!"

Blaine had tears running down his face and he swallowed hard before turning to Kurt with a broke voice:

"You have a rough day every day and there's always someone there to comfort you. You always have a different party or a gather-around to go to and I'm alone in this place, cooking dinner you won't eat. My only friend is your cousin; who hates me, by the way!"

Kurt tried to control his anger not to explode with Blaine but he couldn't:

"And do you think it's easy being in your shadow all these years? How do you think it's like to feel you haven't accomplished anything? How do you think I cope with people approaching me just to praise you? It's not because I'm not proud of you; I am. But are you proud of me?"

"Of course I am!"

"What for? I don't want your pity..."

Blaine sat back down and stared at his feet:

"I just started working harder because you were never around."

"It's been a while since I stopped believing in Santa Claus, Blaine."

Blaine got fed up and went to their room slamming the door behind him. Kurt wouldn't be the one crawling back; he grabbed his bag and left the apartment.

xXxXx

"Kurt! Thank Goodness; I thought you were still mad at me. Blaine called at least a hundred times."

Kurt looked at her and said in a small voice:

"Maybe I need some time off Blaine."

Louisa smiled and hugged her cousin:

"Family is family. You can always come here."

He began to feel better in the warmth of her embrace:

"Please don't trash Blaine tonight."

"I'd never! Not with you like this. Today, I'll only prepare you a hot chocolate with all the calories the situation requires."

Kurt made himself comfortable at her couch and she went to the kitchen. She returned with two mugs; handed one to Kurt and sat by his side:

"You are lucky; I even had mini-marshmallows. Do you want to start trashing Blaine? I mean; telling me what happened?"

He smiled behind his mug:

"There's something bugging you too. You go first."

"Okay; I fought with my cousin over something really stupid. I said things I didn't mean and left in the worse way possible. To top it all; he was absolutely right about me."

He grabbed her hand:

"You know your cousin is a wonderful person with a big understanding heart? He also have known you since you were little and he could read you were just upset because he was right. He already forgave you because that's how good he is. Also because he screamed nonsenses to his boyfriend and really needs your shoulder to cry on."

She put both their mugs away and pulled him to lay on her on the couch while cuddling and massaging his head:

"Tell me, my pumpkin; what did silly Blaine do to you this time?

"We both did actually; he was crying when I got home and we started yelling at each other. The thing is that we have hardly see each other; I mean, spending quality time together. There were things we were both denying and that boiled up today."

"From what I recall you telling; Blaine is the kind to hide his pain and after doing something he'll regret just because his head is hot."

Kurt got up in a jump:

"Do you think he's cheating on me?"

"Gosh Kurt; no! I don't think he'll ever go that way again. I was referring to your fight."

Kurt relaxed and lay back down:

"Do you ever felt overshadowed by someone?"

"Yes... I grew up feeling this about you. I felt a little about Blaine in our first weeks at NYADA. And now I feel about Carmen Miranda."

"I'm confused; are you talking about the Brazilian artist or your nickname?"

"I'm talking about me. I'm talking about the myth people created around me and that I couldn't possibly live up to. I'm also talking about the mask I hide behind to keep people from finding out about my disease."

"Oh boo..."

"It's nothing. Let me give you the same advice I gave Finn this afternoon: why don't we sing about our feelings?"

"Only if you let me produce the costumes."

After proper dressing up; Kurt and Louisa were back in the living-room singing a mash-up consisting of Kurt singing Mr. Cellophane from Chicago and Louisa singing Superboy and the Invisible Girl from Next to Normal.

Superboy and the Invisible Girl...

Son of steel and daughter of air.

He's a hero, a lover, a prince—

She's not there.

Superboy and the Invisible Girl...

Everything a kid ought to be.

He's immortal, forever alive—

Then there's me

And even without clucking like a hen

Everyone gets noticed, now and then

Unless of course, that personage should be

Invisible, inconsequential me

Cellophane, Mr. Cellophane shoulda been my name

Mr. Cellophane 'cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me and never know I'm there

I wish I could fly

And magically appear

And disappear.

I wish I could fly

I'd fly far away from here.

I tell ya Cellophane, Mr. Cellophane shoulda been my name

Mr. Cellophane 'cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me and never know I'm there

Superboy and the Invisible Girl...

He's the one you wish would appear.

He's your hero, forever your son—

He's not here.

I am here.

A human being's made of more than air

With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there

Unless that human bein' next to you

Is unimpressive, undistinguished you know who

Take a look at the Invisible Girl...

Here she is, clear as the day.

Please look closely and find her before

She fades away.

Cellophane, Mr. Cellophane shoulda been my name

Mr. Cellophane 'cause you can look right through me

Walk right by me and never know I'm there

Superboy and the Invisible Girl...

Son of steel and daughter of air.

He's a hero, a lover, a prince

She's not there

She's not there

She's not thereShe's not there

Hope I didn't take up too much of your time

At the end of it; they felt laughing on the couch. Louisa recovered first and turned to him:

"Are you going back home or are you crashing on my couch?"

"Can I stay?"

"Of course; there will ever be a place for you wherever I am. But I have one condition.

"What is it?"

"Call Blaine. There are a million unanswered calls from him on my phone. I know it was childish of him to run and slam the door; but that's no reason for you to disappear in New York City not telling anyone where you are. I wouldn't betray you telling him you are here; but he's really worried."

"I'll text him."

"Fine enough."


	5. Something to Remember

"So, what will you order?"

"Boo, I'm not sure buying Blaine coffee is the best thing for me to do now..."

"Oh Kurt; haven't I told you? You are making things up with your boyfriend today. We are buying him his favorite kind of coffee, we'll go to you guys' apartment, you are going to give him the coffee and talk things over with him. Then you'll engage in amazing make-up sex and luckily I'll be far away not to hear it."

Kurt smiled at her:

"But why? Why are you doing this?"

She gave him a side hug and rubbed his arm:

"Because I love you, pumpkin. And I want to see you happy. What can I do? Your mind is set that Blaine is the one... Besides, the guy has already called me a hundred times; he packed my mail box and voice mail. And I know you; you won't call him back."

"Well, if I didn't know you; I'd say you are worried about Blaine."

She smirked at him:

"Glad you know me."

He grinned back at his cousin and walked towards the barista to order his and Blaine's favorite coffees along with some heart-shaped cookies.

xXxXx

Finn rubbed his eyes and it took him a few minutes to remember where he was. It wasn't the first time he had to sleep in the bedroom that once belonged to Kurt; but this time it was his choice to sleep there.

He went a little drowsy to the kitchen were Rachel was already having breakfast. He tried to smile her good-morning and she simply turned her head away. He was still outraged as he spoke:

"I can't believe that you are mad at me after what I saw yesterday."

She returned him an icy glare:

"It's me that can't believe you are saying this after what I saw yesterday!"

"And what was that; may I be informed?"

"You giving flowers to Louisa and then not wanting to sleep in the same bedroom as me."

Finn looked at her in disbelief:

"How dare you accuse me? After our discussion in the morning; I bought you flowers and when I went to NYADA to give them to you I saw you holding Brody's arm and offering to buy him lunch. Louisa saw me distressed and invited me over for coffee."

"Since when did you and Louisa become best friends?"

"I don't know; probably since when you decided to see Brody behind my back!"

Rachel got up throwing her napkin away:

"Brody has ever been my friend. That's it; nothing more! I'm with you!"

"And I can't make a new friend?"

"Not one that you are clearly attracted to!"

"Same goes for you and Brody! You know what, Rachel? I'm tired of us trying to tell the other what to do..."

She sat back with a worried face:

"What do you mean by that? Do you... do you want us to break up?"

"I don't know..."

"Me neither. Where does it leave us?"

"I said I don't know, Rachel."

Finn went to the bathroom slamming the door behind him. He heard the front door closing a few minutes later indicating Rachel had left the apartment.

xXxXx

Blaine was preparing breakfast when Kurt entered the apartment and looked at him with a coy smile:

"Hi."

Blaine tried to hide his grin from seeing the boy but failed. Instead, he decided to let his emotions show:

"Hi there. How are you? How was your night?"

Kurt sighed and looked attentively to his own fingers tracing patterns on the table:

"Fine; Louisa took care of me. Look, I said something I didn't mean to and I know it wasn't fair to leave you not knowing where I was. But you got to understand that my head was hot and if I talked to you yesterday it would have leaded to even more fighting. I don't want to fight with you..."

Blaine didn't know if it was the moist in Kurt's eyes, the words he was saying or simply Kurt's presence; he only knew he had to kiss his boyfriend right then. He took fast steps towards Kurt and pulled him by the waist into a passionate kiss. They broke it moments later to recover their breaths. He smiled at Kurt:

"I don't want to fight either. And I also have my share of blame on this."

Kurt grinned and started to play with Blaine's still free curls:

"Louisa made me buy you your favorite coffee before dragging me here. Do you want to have breakfast with me?"

"Breakfast without you is so awfully lonely. I was wishing you'd come home today; but I must admit I didn't think you would because of your stubbornness."

Kurt chuckled:

"A Hummel knows how to turn another Hummel's stubbornness around."

"In this case, remember me to thank Louisa. I have to tell her that you bringing me heart-shaped cookies was a stroke of brilliance; I could never resist it!"

Kurt bit his lips in a malicious way:

"You can thank me; because the cookies were entirely my idea."

Blaine understood Kurt's look and walked closer to him again:

"I can think of several ways you'd like to be thanked. How much time do we have?"

"For you? My whole life."

Blaine went for a kiss in the neck that Kurt was more than glad to welcome.

xXxXx

Rachel was walking to her class when she saw her. Louisa was talking and laughing with Kurt and Blaine; but Rachel wouldn't get distracted by that. She walked closer to her nemesis and grabbed the girl by the arm. Louisa began to protest:

"What the hell is this? Who do you think you are to drag me around like this?"

Rachel continued to walk and drag the girl, now followed by Kurt and Blaine, and she simply turned back to reply:

"I have a bone to pick with you! So now it's you and me on a diva-off; this academy is too small for both of us."

Louisa started to laugh a little hysterically:

"Are you being serious? Is this some kind of western duel?"

Kurt coughed a little embarrassed:

"Ah, Louisa dear, I don't think you'll need fire-arms of any kind; but this is a fight."

They finally reached an auditorium and Rachel let go of the other's arm. She went on turning the lights and sound-systems on and turned to Louisa:

"Any rules you'd like to propose? I'd go with simple sing-off competition: one song each from the Broadway catalog. You'd like to go first or can I take the stage?"

Louisa looked at her at first still a little incredulous but then deciding to cooperate:

"Be my guest; this whole circus was your idea anyway."

"Right. Kurt and Blaine will be the judges."

They began to protest but Rachel silenced them:

"No one asked you to follow us along."

Blaine gave Kurt a stare that seemed to call him down, seeing that both of them nodded. Rachel smiled at them:

"Alright then. Hello, my name is Rachel Berry and I'll be singing At the Ballet from the musical A Chorus Line."

Daddy always thought that he married beneath him.

That's what he said, that's what he said.

When he proposed he informed my mother

He was probably her very last chance.

And though she was twenty-two,

Though she was twenty-two

She married him.

Life with my dad wasn't ever a picnic

More like a "Come as you are."

When I was five I remember my mother

Dug earrings out of the car

I knew they weren't hers, But it wasn't

Something you'd want to discuss.

He wasn't warm.

Well, not to her.

Well, not to us.

But

Everything was beautiful at the ballet.

Graceful men lift lovely girls in white.

Yes,

Everything was beautiful at ballet.

Hey!

I was happy... at the ballet.

Up a steep and very narrow stairway.

To the voice like a metronome.

Up a steep and very narrow stairway.

It wasn't paradise...

It wasn't paradise...

It wasn't paradise...

But it was home.

Mother always said I'd be very attractive

When I grew up, when I grew up.

"Diff'rent," she said, "With a special something

And a very, very personal flair."

And though I was eight or nine,

Though I was eight or nine,

Though I was eight or nine,

I hated her.

Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.

Every prince has got to have his swan.

Yes,

Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.

I was pretty...

At the ballet

I used to dance around the living room

with my arms up like this

My fantasy was that there was an Indian Chief...

And he'd say to me

"Rachel, do you wanna dance?"

And I'd say, "Daddy, I would love to dance!"

But it was clear...

When he proposed...

That I was born to save their marriage and when

That's what he said...

That's what she said...

I used to dance around the living room...

He wasn't warm...

Not to her...

It was an Indian chief and he'd say:

"Rachel, do you wanna dance?"

And I'd say, "Daddy, I would love to dance"

Raise your arms and someone's always there.

Yes, everything was beautiful at the ballet,

At the ballet,

At the ballet!!!

I was pretty...

I was happy...

"I would love to.."

At...the...ballet.

Rachel's performance was breathtaking; she sang her entire soul to every note. Being a dancer and a singer was everything Rachel knew how to do and everything she trained for since she could remember. She wouldn't let a girl from a faraway forgotten land to steal it from her. As she finished the song; she was receiving a standing ovation not only from Kurt and Blaine but also from Louisa:

"Rachel, that was incredible!"

"Well, now it's your turn..."

"I couldn't possible top that. You won."

Rachel was confused

"What? This is a diva-off; you can't simply give me the victory!"

"You won, Rachel. I must admit that I don't like you as a person as I think you don't like me. I'm not saying we should be friends; but there's no dispute that this is what you were born to do. You are a true diva, Rachel Berry."

"Glad you admit it; but it's still you turn. Where is your diva?"

"I'm just trying to avoid that our relationship turns into a blood-bath. I'm not trying to steal your thunder or anything; I simply think there's enough room for both of us around here."

Rachel had lost it:

"I won't let you go like that! There's room for only one diva around here and I want things to be clear that the room is mine."

Louisa turned back to her with her face beginning to change to a bright shade of red:

"What's all that really about? It's Finn, isn't it? It's because I had to comfort him after he saw you flirting around with your ex-boyfriend?"

"Yes; it's about Finn who happens to be my boyfriend. I won't let a Brazilian whore come here and steal him from me!"

Kurt and Blaine had stood up in a jump and were approaching the girls. Louisa, however, had a calm look on her face:

"Well, if you are not woman enough to hold your men it's not my fault."

Like that; Louisa turned on her heels leaving the other three stunned behind her. Blaine was the first to recover from the shock and turned to Kurt:

"I'm going after her."

"Are you sure, honey? You and Lou don't have the best history."

"I know what I'm doing."

xXxXx

Blaine had to run around a little to find Louisa. However, he wasn't prepared for what he saw when he finally found her. She was obstinately walking towards an open window; with her eyes wide like a maniac and hyperventilating. Blaine acted on instinct when he ran to her and captured her in his embrace while, at the same time, he took her out of the way from the window.

She instantly began to cry very hard making her gasp for air even more strongly. He was absolutely scared and not knowing what to do. He just kept rocking her and trying to calm her down. She managed to say a few words in a hoarsely voice between sobs:

"My purse... pillbox... water..."

Blaine looked at her even more lost:

"Are you alright? Do you want me to call Kurt?"

She shook her head:

"Pills!"

He got up to reach her the pills and luckily found a water bottle in her purse. He got her the medicine and sat back down by her side on the floor. She took the pills and rested her head on Blaine's shoulder. He tentatively passed his arms around her and she made herself more comfortable in his embrace. Her tears continued to run for a long while but her breathing was beginning to even. Blaine kept whispering that he was there and she wasn't alone and she managed to give him a feeble smile. After that, she closed her eyes and Blaine could only tell she wasn't sleeping from the occasional sob she gave.

After several minutes, she began to move in his embrace and he let her sit up. She looked at him with her face still swollen from crying and tears running down her cheeks:

"Thank you. I think I own you an explanation, right?"

He smiled back at her:

"You own me nothing, Lou. But if you are feeling well to talk; I must say you scared the hell out of me... Would you... would you really jump?"

She sighed:

"I don't know; probably not. What was attracting me mostly was that piece of broken glass by the window."

Blaine nodded but without really having understood. He felt like he was crossing some kind of limit and getting into something deep personal with her. To his surprise, she continued talking:

"It's the secret I've been trying to hide. It's also the reason I build so many protective walls around me. Kurt knows because he has watched me having several panic attacks like this over the years. It was much scarier for him because we were much younger and I hadn't so much control over myself like now."

Blaine was drinking her every word but still had more questions than answers. She must have seen it because she chuckled and took his hand:

"Let me try to explain it: I suffer from a thing called generalized anxiety disorder. It takes me to having panic attacks like the one you just witnessed. I know it's not pretty and people tend not to understand it. There's too few information about it to the general public and so I went through a lot of prejudice when I told people about my disease. You see; it's a disease; I have no control over it. I'm in therapy and medication; I'm better but sometimes things get out of control."

She was crying again and couldn't talk anymore. Blaine felt more confident to hold her again:

"Don't worry Lou; you can trust me. I'll tell nobody about your secret and I'm now an ally you can count on. I'll ask for Kurt's help to research about it and learn as much as I can to help you."

"Thank you, Blaine. After how I treated you; you are still here whiling to help me."

"Not to mention. I was about to thank you for helping Kurt and I make up and the opportunity just raised from me to help you back. Not that I liked that you are suffering..."

She interrupted him to easy his guilt:

"I understood. And I'm really grateful to you. Eleanor, the lady I work for, is also helping. Her son had depression too and..."

"Wait! Are you depressed?"

"I tend to be from time to time; a little gift anxiety brought me. But the medication keeps things in order."

He smiled:

"Lou, I have a proposition for you: why don't you came over to mine and Kurt's place and we can have a pajama party? We would feel better knowing you are, at least, happy."

She smiled back cleaning away the last tears:

"It would make me really happy. Just tell Kurt to leave some room in the kitchen for me to do some treats."

xXxXx

As Blaine went running after Louisa, Rachel and Kurt stared at each other. Kurt tried to smile but Rachel turned away shaking her head:

"I know what you're going to say, Kurt; she's your cousin. I get that she's family, I love you very much; but there is absolutely no way for me and her to become friends."

Kurt chuckled:

"You got some things in common. However, I wasn't going to say anything like that. I know my cousin very well and I know best than to get on her way when her mind is settled about something. I don't think you and Louisa will get along anytime soon. I wonder, however, what happened to us? We used to be so close and now I feel like I haven't talked to you in ages!"

She laughed:

"I missed you too. But let us be real; we began walking opposite directions since I started dating Brody."

"That's true; but we still bumped into each other a couple of times on the way. Things got different when Finn and Blaine moved in and now with Louisa being my cousin and Blaine's best NYADA friend. Besides, the times at the beginning of term when we tried to go out in group; the tension between you and Louisa and Brody and Finn was unbearable."

Rachel hugged him:

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I hate your cousin because Finn is attracted to her."

"You and Finn are an eternal soap-opera. Will you ever stop fighting?"

"I think on some level we like the drama of fighting."

"Speaking of drama; may I borrow the stage?"

Rachel nodded looking curious. Kurt got upstage and grabbed the microphone:

"Good-morning ladies and gentleman; my name is Kurt Hummel and I'd like to serenate my good friend Rachel Berry with Friend Like Me from Aladdin."

Well, Ali Baba had them forty thieves,

Scheherazade had a thousand tales.

But master you're in luck, 'cause up your sleeves

You've got a brand of magic never fails

You've got some power in your corner now!

Some heavy ammunition in your camp!

You got some punch, pizzaz, yahoo and how.

See, all you gotta do is rub that lamp, and I'll say:

"Mr. Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be?

Let me take your order, jot it down?

You ain't never had friend like me

Life is your restaurant and I'm your maitre'd

Come on whisper what it is you want;

You ain't never had friend like me!

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service.

You're the boss, the king, the shah.

Say what you wish; it's yours, true dish.

How 'bout a little more baklava?

Have some of column A try All of column B,

I'm in the mood to help you, dude.

You ain't never had friend like me

Oh my.

No no.

My my my.

Can your friends do this?

Can your friends do that?

Can your friends pull this

Out their little hat?

Can your friends go poof?

Well looky here.

Can your friends go abracadabra, let her rip,

And then make the sucker disappear?

So don't just sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed,

I'm here to answer all your mid-day prayers,

You've got me bona fide certified;

You've got a genie for charge d'affaires.

I've got a powerful urge to help you out,

So what you wish, I really wanna know?

You've got a list that's three miles long, no doubt,

Well all you've gotta do is rub like so, and oh -

Mr. Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three.

I'm on the job you big nabob!

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,

You ain't never had a friend like me.

You ain't never had a friend like me

He got around the stage like he owned it. His moves, faces and dance steps were worth of any Broadway number. Rachel laughed excitedly from the audience. Kurt bowed at the end and winked at her

"That's for you not to forget who the real diva of NYADA is."

"I know best than to compete with you, Mr. Hummel."

Kurt laughed getting down the stage and taking her by the hand:

"Come on; let's grab some lunch. I'm sure Blaine won't mind not eating with me if I was catching up with an old friend."

xXxXx

Louisa and Kurt kept bringing treats from the kitchen. Most of them Blaine knew; but several he had never seen before. When the others sat down and began to dig in; Blaine looked puzzled between the two of them. Louisa saw it and explained:

"I went to the Brazilian street today and could get some treats and the ingredients to do others. Kurt grew up with me and is used to the Brazilian culinary."

Kurt kissed his cheek and filled his spoon with a sort of chocolate cream:

"Try this one, honey. It's my favorite."

Blaine took the spoon in his mouth and was surprised by the delicious taste of that different consistency chocolate:

"Oh my God! What's that? It's delicious!"

Louisa chuckled:

"It's brigadeiro still warm to eat with a spoon. We Brazilians are particularly proud of it and it's really easy to make if you have the ingredients."

Kurt started stroking Blaine's hair:

"She began to make me it as soon as we learned how to deal with the stove."

Blaine looked at him:

"And why have you never cooked me this?"

"Partly because of the calories and partly to prevent my father from eating it. I have to take care of my men. And partly because I forgot it..."

Blaine laughed:

"Now there are no more excuses! Or I'll simply call Louisa to cook for me. Speaking of which, since you've forgotten the recipe she taught you; I think it's only fair she chooses the film tonight."

"Thank you for the kind offer Blaine; but I have something here that might interest you more. In this little pen-drive I have digitalized photos of me and my dear cousin from the vacations we spent together at Grandma Hummel's place."

Blaine's eyes were glowing brightly:

"That's precious. Especially since Kurt has forbidden Burt to show me most of his childhood pictures."

Kurt hid his face on a pillow:

"I knew no good could come from introducing the two of you. You are not doing this to me boo, are you?"

She smirked at him:

"I'm actually testing Blaine; if he continues to say he loves you after what he sees here, then I'll have to approve him because his feelings are true."

Blaine helped her set the laptop to slide-slow her photos. He then sat by Kurt's side rubbing his legs cheerfully. As the photos passed, Blaine exclaimed about one or other; making Kurt's cheeks more scarlet with every comment.

"You were such a cute little chubby kid, Kurt. I love it!"

Kurt playfully slapped him:

"One more word and you'll be the one sleeping on the couch!"

However, the next picture could not go by without an exclamation:

"What are those costumes you two are wearing?"

Louisa laughed at Kurt's embarrassed expression and began to fill Blaine in:

"Grandma Hummel liked to teach us little numbers ever since she learned we loved singing and dancing. She always dreamed of becoming a ballerina but her father forbade her."

"And in this picture you were doing which musical?"

"Mary Poppins."

Kurt intervened:

"And I have to take care of the costumes because Grandma and Louisa are good for nothing in that department."

Blaine laughed:

"How I wish I could see that!"

Kurt looked mischievously at Louisa:

"You see honey; after boo showed you those pictures, she owes me one. So now, my dearest cousin, will join me performing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious just like our grandmother taught us."

Louisa stared at him with a mortal glance; but Kurt wouldn't take no for an answer. He dragged her out of the couch and they soon where singing and following an elaborated tap-dance routine to go with it. Blaine was bending in half from laughing.

It's...

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Even though the sound of it

is something quite atrocious

If you say it loud enough you'll

always sound precocious

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Um diddle diddle diddle

um diddle ay!

Because I was afraid to speak

when I was just a lad

Me father gave me nose a tweak

and told me I was bad

But then one day I learned a word

That saved me achin' nose

The biggest word I ever heard

And this is how it goes: Oh!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Even though the sound of it

is something quite atrocious

If you say it loud enough you'll

always sound precocious

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Um diddle diddle diddle

um diddle ay!

He traveled all around the world

And everywhere he went

He'd use his word and all would say

"There goes a clever gent"

When dukes and maharajas

pass the time of day with me

I say me special word and then they ask me out to tea

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Even though the sound of it

is something quite atrocious

If you say it loud enough you'll

always sound precocious

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Um diddle diddle diddle

um diddle ay!

So when the cat had got

your tongue

There's no need for dismay

Just summon up this word and then

You've got a lot to say

But better say it carefully or it

could change your life...

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

He loved the performance; but the best part was seeing Louisa in such a relaxed state with her silly dress and low hanging piggy-tails. Also, the way she could light up Kurt's face was something worth seeing. They finished and were cheered by Blaine's wolf-whistles:

"Bravo! Amazing that you guys haven't forgotten it after all this time."

Kurt pecked him:

"You don't know how many times we have rehearsed and performed it."

xXxXx

Finn didn't feel like going home. He and Rachel hadn't talk to each other all day long and nothing told him their fight had been forgotten. Truth be told; he wasn't even sure if he wanted to forget it in the first place. Things with Rachel had always been stormy and sometimes he got sick of it. Nowadays maybe more often.

He was leaving the university and decided to join a group of his classmates to a bar nearby. As the alcohol was going in; his will to go home was going out. From the dinner at the bar; a smaller group wanted to extend it to a night club and Finn decided to go along.

Flashes of the night went by as he danced and drank more and more. He vaguely remembered being put on a cab by some of the guys and he was pretty sure he slept all the way home. Luckily, he got home with no more consequences than puke on the living-room carpet. Rachel would be so mad when she saw it.

xXxXx

Louisa protested:

"I think it's time that Blaine shows us something from his childhood as well."

Kurt grinned:

"Oh Blee; I'd love that!"

Blaine answered the pleas and went to the piano:

"This is something from a Harry Potter parody show that I liked a lot when I was younger. It's called To Have a Home and it's from a group called Team Starkid."

"Home."

I've heard the word before,

but it never meant much more

than just a thing I've never had.

A "place,"

They say, "Hey, know your place!"

But I've never had a place to even know,

or a face that I could go to

if I needed someone there...

I'm laughing

it's hard to hide a smile

My God, it's been a while

since I have had a reason to.

To think

it's been here all along

somewhere to belong,

and a reason,

a something-to-believe-in

I've finally found it,

a place where I'm wanted...

This must be how it feels to have a home

I used to dream about it

but never schemed or counted

on fantasies or wishes-

it breaks a man to see what he misses

So many nights I'd pray

for a better life, a better day

but I never thought that it'd come true

now that it's here, I don't know what to do

and I'm trying not to cry

This must be how it feels

to have a home

I've finally made it

I've hoped and I've waited

and for the first time in my life, I don't feel so alone

My heart starts to heal

to know that it's real.

This is how it must feel

to have a home!

Blaine played the heartfelt melody as Kurt and Louisa were cuddled on the couch. He played it until the end; but he was crying as he finished it. Kurt got up and went to comfort him:

"Honey; that was so beautiful."

"Thank you; I chose that for tonight because hanging out with you two makes me feel more comfortable than I ever felt my whole life. Lou, be sure that you are part of it; ever since Kurt told me of how supportive you were to him when he came out, I admired you even more. I was glad to know Kurt had someone to count on unlike me."

She got up from the couch and extended her hand for him:

"Now I'm also your ally for when you need."

She winked at him and he chuckled in response. Kurt found better not to ask about it now:

"Why don't we go to our king-size bed and watch a movie? Since Lou is sleeping over there's no need to finish our kiki earlier."

The three of them lay together with Kurt on the middle. Louisa rested her head on his shoulder finally allowing the tiredness of her stressful day wear her off. Before the end of the movie, she was sound asleep on Kurt's warmth.

Blaine got up when the movie ended:

"I'll go sleep on the couch."

Kurt complained:

"No! I'm sure she'll be fine if we wake her up and move her there."

Blaine smiled at him and kissed him on the lips:

"Believe me; she needs you more than I do tonight."

xXxXx

Finn woke up in the middle of the afternoon with a dreadful hung-over. He wasn't feeling like making food for himself and decided to grab a cab to the first place he could think of where there would be coffee and food: Coffee'N'Stuff.

He arrived too early for Maggie's and Louisa's shift and had Mr. Peaches to take his order. Feeling better after food, he ran into Louisa on her way in:

"Finn! Glad to see you; but you don't look good at all!"

"Hung-over..."

She smiled warmly at him:

"Do you want me to make you a tea at the staff-room? We have some good recliners back there."

"I just ate; but I don't think I can say no to the recliner offer."

She made herself some tea as Finn lay down feeling miserable. Her pitiful side took over as she lightly touched his shoulder:

"Anything you'd like to talk about? They say I'm a good listener."

"A good listener; peace and quiet, that's what I need in my life right now."

She chuckled:

"Rachel does seem like high-maintenance."

He sat up and looked Louisa in the eyes:

"Do you know what's like to live with a diva full mode? It's exhausting..."

She was looking at him with such interest and so much benevolence that it caught his attention. Rachel hardly ever paid him full attention. It was strange yet fascinating to be the center of someone else's attention; maybe that was why Rachel liked it so much. But this wasn't Rachel; it was Louisa who wasn't asking anything and offering support and attention.

Before he knew it; Finn was leaning in to kiss Louisa.

xXxXx

Louisa couldn't believe her eyes when she saw Finn trying to kiss her. Then, all the thoughts came together in a sudden towards her: Finn; Kurt's brother; the guy you like; Rachel's boyfriend; the fight with Rachel; the panic attack afterwards. It was just too much; and before Finn's lips could touch hers she was already running away.

She had stormed out of the shop and went straight into NYADA trying to remember in which class Kurt would be at that time. Her thoughts were interrupted by bumping very hard against someone. She was apologizing but Brody was smiling at her:

"I can almost say bumping into you was a pleasure."

"Look, I don't have time for your jokes today. Do you know were my cousin is?"

"As a matter of fact; I do. He just left with Blaine to go to lunch."

"Merda!"

"Sorry?"

"Nothing, it's just that I really needed Kurt right now."

"Hey; calm down. I was serious when I said I want to be your friend. Come on; what makes you feel better: stage or coffee?"

"Right now: stage! I want to be as far from coffee as possible."

They went to one of the rehearsal auditoriums and sat together at the edge of the stage. Louisa let her defenses down a little and allowed herself to rest her head on Brody's shoulder. He said nothing about it and began to chit-chat:

"Want to hear something good? To get my degree I'll have to direct a play and they let me do a musical and use the big auditorium to perform it."

"That's awesome, Brody."

He smiled

"And there's more; I want you on my cast. Preferably as the leading lady."

"That's crazy; you've never seen me acting."

"People gossip; I know Carmen Miranda is good."

She bumped him with her shoulder:

"That would be a kind of nepotism."

He laughed:

"Fine! We'll do a duet now then. Something from the Broadway catalog and you can show me your acting skills through it. I'll start."

He went to the piano and begun to sing and play Perfect for You from Next to Normal.

Henry:

Our planet is poison,

The oceans, the air,

Around and beneath

And above you.

She joined in as Nathalie and walked closer as she sang.

Natalie:

Um, Henry, that's true,

And I totally care—

Henry:

I'm trying to tell you

I love you.

Natalie: [Spoken]

What?

Henry:

The world is at war,

Filled with death and disease—

We dance on the edge of destruction.

The globe's getting warmer

By deadly degrees—

Natalie:

And this is one fucked up seduction.

Henry:

This planet is pretty much

Broken beyond all repair...

But one thing is working

If you're standing there.

Perfect for you...

I could be perfect for you.

I might be lazy, a loner,

A bit of a stoner—it's true.

But I might be perfect--

I'll make myself perfect...

Perfect for you.

You square all the corners,

I straighten the curves.

Soon, they didn't know any more if it was Nathalie's and Henry's words or their own.

Natalie:

You've got some nerve, Henry,

And I'm just all nerves.

Henry:

But even if everything else

Turns to dirt—

Henry & Natalie:

We'll be the one thing

In this world that won't hurt.

Henry:

I can't fix what's fucked up,

But one thing I know I can do...

I can be perfect for you.

Natalie:

I can be perfect for you.

Henry & Natalie:

Perfect for you.

She sat by the piano with him and they sang for each other. The song finished and Brody cupped Louisa's face pulling her in for a kiss that she gladly accepted. They had both being oblivious to their feelings and the touch of their lips just felt fine.

They broke the kiss and smiled at each other. He spoke:

"Welcome aboard; Diana Goodman. I just found my musical."


	6. Casting

It was the new big thing around: Louisa Hummel and Brody Weston were an item. However, Kurt wouldn't believe it until he heard from his cousin herself:

"Are the rumors about you and Brody true?"

"Kind of. We went on a couple of dates and now Brody is being a little enthusiast about it all. Why?"

"Because you haven't told me anything!"

Louisa shrugged uncomfortably:

"You know I don't like to talk about me and I wasn't sure how serious we were or how I wanted us to be..."

Kurt examined her with a clinical eye:

"There's something else you are not telling me."

She sighed and pulled him to sit down with her:

"Do you know the play Brody will act and direct?"

"Sure; he put auditions signs all around. Me and Blaine are planning on auditioning. It's Next to Normal, right?"

"Exactly."

She kept looking at Kurt waiting for him to reach the same conclusion as her. He returned the glare with a puzzled expression; she rolled her eyes and answered him:

"Next to Normal: the musical about a bipolar woman and her family dealing with her psychological issues."

Kurt grabbed her hand and placed it between his:

"Sweetie, I catch that it can be a touchy subject for you; but I still can't see why he directing it might affect you guys relationship. Did you tell him?"

"Of course not! He invited me to play Diana; he gave me the lead..."

"That's such an honor! Especially with you being a freshman; it's kind of a habit around NYADA not to cast freshmen to plays. You can't say no!"

"I can't say yes either..."

Kurt squeezed her hand to catch back her attention:

"Why not?"

She sighed and looked at him with moist eyes:

"Don't you think it will be torturous for me to play a character with mental disease? How could I play Diana and not get hurt on the way?"

"By telling the world the truth about yourself."

"I'm not ready."

Kurt saw her distress and pulled her for a hug. She pressed him hard against her and managed to say in a feeble voice:

"I'm beginning to like him. Is it strange? How do I tell him I can't to the part without hurting his feelings?"

"I don't know boo; but we'll figure it out together. There's nothing wrong with liking Brody. Things got a little complicate when you add Rachel and Finn to this equation, but you two are two free young people who are enjoying spending time with each other. I say go for it; as long as you save some time to be with your favorite cousin."

She laughed and he kissed her forehead.

xXxXx

Rachel was using her free time to stretch on the bars of one of the dance studios. Things with Finn grew more complicate each day: he was now officially sleeping and living on the second bedroom and running from her every attempt to start a conversation. All her efforts had been proven in vain and she wouldn't be the one begging. The best she could do was dig into work; and increasing her flexibility for Spring Awakening was not a bad idea.

She was soon joined by a group of Cassandra's worshipers. Working out next to them used to be a bother because they wouldn't shut up for a second and usually all they talked about were gossips about the university. Whatever; this continued to be the best option Rachel had. However, her peace was disturbed and she couldn't help but overhear their entire conversation:

"Have you heard the latest?"

"The hotter topic around NYADA? Are you talking about Carmen Miranda and Brody Weston becoming an item?"

One on them gave a malicious laughter:

"Seriously, he's a hot piece of nasty; what does he see on her?"

"Maybe she has more secrets under her skirts than we imagined."

They were all laughing wickedly about their little jokes. Rachel didn't share their laughter; but she couldn't say she wasn't disturbed by the news. She still had unsolved feelings about Brody and he being with someone else just made it final. This someone being Louisa was another thing to bug her even more. However, the thought that was present and more menacing in her mind was only one: does Finn know about it?

xXxXx

Blaine was cleaning the last glasses before his shift ended when he was surprised by a most pleasuring face entering the bar.

"Couldn't wait to see me, gorgeous?"

Kurt grinned at him:

"That and the fact that I had a free time and thought that going with you home would be much better than facing the train ride alone."

Blaine leaned over the counter to peck him:

"I'll just grab my bag and we're out."

It was a long way from NYADA to their place; but Blaine and Kurt didn't mind it as long as they had the other's hand to hold and the noise wouldn't prevent them from chit chating. They were lucky that day to catch a rather empty train and they could even sit side by side. Kurt started filling Blaine in about his day:

"... and most interestingly; did you know that Louisa is dating Brody?"

"Really? I could never imagine; but thinking about it now, they are kind of cute together."

Kurt frowned his nose:

"You think so?"

Blaine laughed finding adorable the way his boyfriend was jealous of his cousin:

"For you, nobody will ever be good enough for Louisa. Hmmm; now I see why she picks on me so much. How is that you say? No one messes with the Hummels, is it?"

Kurt nudged him, which only made Blaine laugh harder. He began to try to make Kurt smile again:

"Come on; you know it's true. But never mind... Speaking of Brody; have you chosen what to sing for the Next to Normal audition?"

"I'm looking at some things from Company; but Brody is known for not being exactly one to follow traditions. Which brings me to something: honey, do you know you are a freshman and NYADA has this stupid saying that casting a freshman is bad luck, right?"

Blaine grinned:

"You said it yourself: Brody is known for not going by the rule book. I'll try and see how it works out... How about Louisa; is she auditioning?"

Kurt looked away and started to move uncomfortably on the chair. Blaine took his hand and kissed his knuckles:

"Handsome? Would it help if I told you I know Louisa's secret?"

Kurt looked at him with an expression of pure surprise:

"You do? How? Has she told you?"

"In a way... That day Rachel confronted her and I chased after Louisa; I saw her having a panic attack. I helped her through it and she felt like telling me. But I believe she was, at some level, trusting me enough to let me in."

Kurt smiled widely:

"Believe me; she trusts you more than enough. Half our family doesn't know about her disease and she'd kill me if I told. She only trusts a handful of people and now you are one of them. You can't imagine how happy this makes me."

Kurt went for a bone-crushing hug and Blaine chuckled at his eagerness:

"Well Kurt, I never knew it was so important for you. I guess now I'm friends with your cousin."

Kurt got away from the embrace to look at him in the eye, whipping away a happy tear:

"Now my family is united."

xXxXx

It was the first time Brody could examine the auditorium he'd put up his play. Being allowed to use the big auditorium was an honor because it was almost always occupied with some big event of the university. This also meant that he'd have few to none time of rehearsal in it. He had this whole afternoon to see the stage and the sound system to plan everything.

He decided that the best way to test it was using it. So he went on turning all the high quality equipment and preparing a spotlight for him mid-stage. He sang to Feeling Electric; a song from the workshop of Next to Normal.

When the clouds have crowded 'round and covered up the sun

When the night has fallen, all your dreams are done

I can be the beacon that you seek in every dawn.

I can touch you, I can turn you on

Feel my fingers lightly on your face.

Each electrode, every wire in place.

Lie right back and let the work begin.

Lay your life down let the light right in.

Only I can reconnect you, only I can make you whole.

Plus the rush will resurrect you,

and the shock will rock you right to your soul.

I'm feelin' electric, I'm feeling fifty thousand volts,

I'm layin' down the lightning in bolts.

I'm feelin' electric, so plug into the power lines,

And baby you'll be feelin' just fine.

And then he felt it: he felt the electricity in his veins; the excitement of being doing a big project like that; the power with all his choices and the possibility of his big break.

Watch me turn the dial, flip the switch.

Watch me watch your toes and fingers twitch.

Check the power lines, check the pulse and then

We'll check the wire and fire it up again.

Your head is hot with lighting.

Your heart is all aflame.

When you wake you'll find it frightening.

But you'll wanna go again all the same.

Yeah, you're feeling electric.

You're ten feet tall and burnin' bright

I see the word and you'll see the light.

Feelin' electric

The thunder's under my command

I hold the lightning right in my hand.

He felt awaken and alive.

Oh, plug me in and turn me on.

Flip the switch, I'm good as gone.

The music's in my brain

The current's in my veins

I feel it again.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm feelin' electric

I'm feeling fifty thousand volts,

I'm layin' down the lightning in bolts.

I'm feelin' electric, so plug in to the power lines

And baby you'll be feelin' just fine.

Baby you'll be feelin' just fine.

Feelin' just fine

Feelin' just fine

Feelin'

Owwww! Electric,

Electric,

Electric.

How are you feeling Diana?

He finished the performance sweating and panting.

A sound of applause coming from the back of the auditorium caught his attention. He turned out the spotlight and saw Louisa cheering him from the audience:

"Fantastic! A real powerhouse of performance and intensity. Is it for something specific?"

"Haven't I told you I'll play Gabe? This was one of the songs that appeared on the workshop but was cut when the show went to Broadway. Feeling Electric was Next to Normal's original name."

"I didn't know that. I liked the song. Will you use it?"

He smiled widely and jumped from stage to join her:

"I don't know yet. Pookie; come check out this place. Isn't it incredible?

He cupped her face and kissed her lips. As they broke the kiss, she was giving him a weak smile. He didn't mind; she'd be as enthusiastic as he was once she realized the full potential of this place. He grabbed her hand and took her to the stage:

"Look around; imagine this place with every seat taken and all of them cheering on you, my leading lady, my primma donna."

She looked at him and shook their linked hands to catch his full attention:

"Brody, there's something we need to talk."

He became concerned and carefully pushed aside a strand of hair falling on her face:

"What's wrong? Is it us? Can I try to fix things?"

She smiled at him and kissed the palm of his hand still close to her face:

"It's not us; I like spending time with you and we are taking things slow. It's the play..."

He was a little relieved to hear it but still couldn't get it:

"What's the problem with the play?"

"I can't be Diana."

"Why?"

She looked down uncomfortably as if searching for the right words. She finally sighed and looked him in the eyes:

"I'm... insecure. I feel like I can't yet handle being the lead in a play; I'm still just a freshman coming from another country and with occasional struggles with vocabulary and pronunciation."

"You know that's not true: you are born to be a star."

She sighed again:

"Maybe; but I have time for it. Please understand this; the last thing I want is to hurt your feelings."

He delicately touched her chin and pulled her head up:

"If that's what you want I'll respect that; even if I think I can never find someone as good as you."

He then gave her a kiss to which she reciprocated; however, he could tell she was somehow distant.

xXxXx

Kurt and Blaine had being in several auditions but Brody's way of doing it was surely one of a kind. As they waited for their turn; they saw the candidates leaving the room with a weirder expression than the one they entered. Finally they were called and he insisted they entered together. Brody was sat at a table with their curriculum in hands and had quite a scenario set up before him. He coughed and said to the couple:

"Hello boys; I'm glad you are interested in my production. There we have a sampler of what the scenario will look out. I like my auditions to work with the voice, the stage presence and the acting abilities of my candidates. I'd love to see you two acting through a duet from the play so I can see what you've got. Kurt, I won't cast you in a female role, but I'd like you to sing Natalie's part and Blaine will play Henry in the mash-up of Why Stay?/A Promise. When you are ready."

Meanwhile, Rachel was entering rather furiously in her apartment where Finn was bent over a pile of papers while he wrote a paper for university. She threw her bag on the couch and he commented nothing just making an annoyed face at her. She didn't think twice before throwing all her rage in him:

"What did I do now, Finn?"

"I couldn't care less for what you did or didn't do. I just need silence to study."

"So now even my presence disturbs you?"

He replied still looking down on his papers:

"I'm not saying that..."

"What are you saying then?"

"Nothing, Rachel! I don't feel like fighting right now."

His neglectful attitude was worse than his fury; she felt like he had already given up on them:

"Finn? Are you even in this relationship?"

He put his pen down and stared at her:

"What do you mean? We haven't broken up; we are just too mad at each other to start a conversation that won't end in yelling."

"Are we on a time out?"

"I don't think so; it doesn't feel like it."

She gave an ironical chuckled:

"Yeah; that fits you well, right? Now that Louisa and Brody are dating I became good enough again?"

"What are you talking about? I had no idea of what Brody and Louisa are doing with their lives. Why do you always bring them to our fights?"

"Because they are what have been keeping us apart, Finn!"

"No, Rachel; we are the ones walking away from each other."

Suddenly, all got mixed up and it was like Finn and Rachel were singing Dan's and Diana's parts of the duet Kurt and Blaine were auditioning with. The voices were harmonizing together as two fictional couples and a real one fought through a song.

Diana:

Why stay?

Why stay?

So steadfast, and stolid,

And stoic, and solid

For day after every day...

Why stay?

Why stay?

Why not simply give in,

And get on with livin',

'Cause everyone knows you tried—

But somehow something died

On the way.

So tell me why you stay.

Diana & Natalie:

Why stay?

Why stay?

Enduring, and coping,

And hurting, and hoping

For day after fucking day—

Why stay?

Why stay?

Why not simply end it?

We'd all comprehend it,

And most of the world would say,

He's better off that way,

To be free—

And maybe so is she."

Dan:

A promise,

A boy says forever...

A boy says,

Dan & Henry:

"Whatever may come,

We'll come through.

And who can know how,

When all I know now

To be true

Is this promise

That I make to you."

Dan:

A question,

A boy wonders whether :

The two stay together

(Henry:A boy wonders

Should I stay?)

The way that they stay,

For year after year,

For love of from fear—

Either way,

That's the promise

That I made that day.

Henry:

Here's what I say:

Henry & Dan:

To the girl who was burnin

So brightly

Like the light from Orion above.

Dan:

And still I will search for her

Nightly—

If you see her,

Please send her my love.

And the boy was a boy

For all seasons—

(Henry: The boy is lost. Long lost)

That boy is long

To me now.

And the man has

Forgotten his reasons,

(Henry: Forgotten his reasons...)

But the man still

Remembers his vow.

A promise,

A man says forever.

A man says I'll never regret

Or let you.

The promise that I made

To stay, and I stayed true...

Knowing one day we'd

Remember that joy.

You'd remember that girl,

I'd remember that boy—

'Til we do,

The promise I made

I'll make it brand-new—

The promise that I made to you.

When Kurt and Blaine finished the song; Brody applauded them and they went for a hug to make sure it was only acting. When Finn and Rachel finished; the last chord kept floating between them like all the words left unsaid between them. They were staring at each other until both turned around and went on their separate ways.

xXxXx

Louisa had too many things on her mind to concentrate on work. She was mechanically organizing some books when a kind voice woke her from her trance:

"Someone is a little blue today."

She turned and smiled fondly at her boss:

"Sorry Eleanor; I'll try to concentrate."

"Nonsense! I need company for my afternoon tea and it's an order, Louisa."

She grinned at the adorable lady and followed her to the office. Louisa took her usual place as Eleanor finished preparing their beverages. The lady handed her a mug and she could feel all the comfort of the hot liquid sliding down her tongue. She was too absorbed to notice Eleanor watching her and chuckling:

"Tea can be a cure for a lot of worries. Will you tell me what's been troubling you?"

"Like I could keep anything from you. The thing is: I had to say no to my boyfriend's proposal of a role in his play."

Eleanor looked like she was considering something:

"May I ask you why was it?"

Louisa sighed and played with her finger on the edge of the mug:

"Have you ever heard of the musical Next to Normal?"

"No; tell me about it."

"Well it's a play about a family in which the mother has depression and bipolar disorder and all of them are trying to learn how to live with it. Guess what part did he wanted me to play?"

Eleanor answered in a tune that indicated she couldn't be disturbed by anything anymore:

"I, my dear, am of the opinion that you'd be great playing that mother."

Louisa was beginning to feel exasperated:

"But Eleanor; how could I play a part that exposes all my deepest fears?"

"I've learned that the monsters we don't face come back bigger to haunt us."

She got up and went to the kettle as she kept speaking in a casual tone:

"Have I ever told you that I can sing too? Would you like to hear it?"

Louisa nodded knowing the song choice would not be random. Eleanor Smitty had a beautiful singing voice that Louisa could appreciate while she sang Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from The Phantom of the Opera.

You were once my one companion

You were all that mattered

You were once a friend and father

Then my world was shattered

Wishing you were somehow here again

Wishing you were somehow near

Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed

Somehow you would be here

Slowly, Louisa was becoming aware that the song was really for Warren, Eleanor's son who she had lost to suicide.

Wishing I could hear your voice again

Knowing that I never would

Dreaming of you help me to do

All that you dreamed I could

Passing bells and sculpted angels

Cold and monumental

Seem for you the wrong companions

You were warm and gentle

The girl was touched hearing this mother wishing her son back with all her strength. Eleanor's biggest regret was the lack of information she and her husband had to detect their son was a victim of depression.

Too many years fighting back tears

Why can't the past just die?

Wishing you were somehow here again

Knowing we must say, "Goodbye"

Try to forgive, teach me to live

Give me the strength to try

No more memories, no more silent tears

No more gazing across the wasted years

Help me say, "Goodbye"

Help me say, "Goodbye"

Louisa could relate to her son's pain and she could recognize the pain in Eleanor's eyes as the one her loved ones felt. Louisa was Diana in real life and Eleanor was Dan: the one who suffers on the skin and the one powerless to stop the pain. Next to Normal was about showing it to the world; trying to say how it feels so people could understand it. That damned silent disease that made everyone around a victim of it. Louisa was sure Eleanor would never be cured of her son's depression. Maybe she should do something about it.

Louisa cleaned a tear that formed in the corner of her eyes; hugged Eleanor thank you and went to NYADA guided by a decision that had formed in her mind.

xXxXx

Brody was about to leave the audition room provided with his notes on everyone that had auditioned when the lights of his improvised stage went on and he saw a figure there. Louisa looked at him and smiled:

"Excuse me Mr. Director; I know I'm late but I wonder if I can still audition?"

He went back to his table and smirked at her trying to figure out what her catch was:

"And what part would you be auditioning for, Miss...?"

She smiled provocatively at him:

"Hummel, sir. My name is Louisa Hummel and I'd like to audition for the role of Natalie. Now, if you don't mind..."

She sat on a corner and began to sing Everything Else; Natalie's solo from Next to Normal. She sang it with so much emotion as Brody had never seen her (or anyone else, on that matter) perform. If he wasn't already convinced she would be perfect for his play; then all his doubts would have gone away. It felt like Louisa belonged in Next to Normal.

Mozart was crazy

Flat fucking crazy.

Bat-shit, I hear,

But his music's not crazy,

It's balanced, it's nimble,

It's crystalline clear.

There's harmony, logic

You listen to these,

You don't hear his doubts

Or his debts or disease.

You scan through the score

And put fingers on keys

And you play...

And everything else goes away.

Everything else goes away.

And you play 'til it's perfect,

You play 'til you ache,

You play 'til the strings

Or you fingernails break.

So you'll rock that recital

And get into Yale,

So you won't feel so sick

And you won't look so pale,

'Cause you've got your full ride

And your early admit

So you're done with this school

And all of this shit,

And you graduate early,

You're gone as of May

And there's nothing your

Paranoid parents can say...

And you know that it's just

A sonata away...

And you play...

And you play...

And everything else goes away.

Everything else goes away.

Everything else goes away

She finished her song and looked at him with an eager expression:

"How about it?"

He kept a smirk on his face all his way from the table towards Louisa. He put a hand on her face and exclaimed:

"Congratulations Miss Hummel; you've got the part."

This time, Louisa initiated the kiss and Brody could tell she was 100% there with him.

xXxXx

Louisa was nervous as she walked into the room where she would meet the rest of the cast that would work with her. Brody had summoned them for a first reading and she wasn't sure how her emotions would turn out.

A pleasant surprise waited for her as she saw Kurt and Maggie chatting inside the room. She approached them with a grin that went from ear to ear:

"You two are on the cast too?"

Maggie answered her with her traditional witty sprit:

"Is that the way of talking to your parents, Miss Natalie Goodman?"

They were the only three on the room and she wondered who would complete the cast. Maggie's phone went buzzing and Kurt took this opportunity to pull his cousin to a corner:

"Changed your mind about the play?"

"Natalie is safe. I don't know her pain but I can use her pain to tell the world about mine."

Kurt took both her hands:

"I know Dan's pain pretty well. I just hope my Diana will someday see her light and surpass her obstacles."

"One step at a time, pumpkin. This already requires almost all of my strength."

"And I'm proud of you for that."

Brody's arrival interrupted their conversation:

"Welcome to the first rehearsal of Next to Normal. We all know each other so introductions aren't necessary. As you can see: our cast isn't complete yet. Our psychiatrist will be played by my classmate Teddy Spring who is currently down with a cold but will join us soon enough. As for our Henry: I haven't made my mind up yet. Anyway, the show must go on and I thought we could use this time to see how our voices sound together. Let's start with Just Another Day that will be sang just by the four of us."

Diana:

They're the perfect

Loving family, so adoring...

And I love them

Every day of every week.

So my son's a little shit,

My husband's boring,

And my daughter,

Though a genius, is a freak.

Still I help them

Love each other

Father, mother,

Sister, brother,

Cheek to cheek!

Natalie:

So it's times like these

I wonder how I take it—

And if other families

Live the way we do...

If they love each other

Or if they just fake it,

And if other daughter

Feel like I feel too...

'Cause some days

I think I'm dying—

But I'm really only

Trying to get through.

Gabe:

For just another day...

For another stolen hour,

When the world will

Feel my power and obey.

Gabe & Natalie:

It's just another day...

Gabe:

Feeling like I'll live forever...

Natalie:

Feeling like this feeling never goes away...

Gabe & Natalie:

For just another day.

Dan

When it's up to you

To hold your house together...

A house you built with

Patience and with care...

But you're grappling with

That grey and rainy weather,

And you're living on a latte

And a prayer

Dan & Diana:

Can you keep

The cup from tipping?

Can you keep

The grip from slipping in despair?

For just another day.

Dan & Gabe:

In the hustle and the hurry.

Dan:

You want to wipe

Your worry clean away.

Diana, Dan & Gabe:

For just another day.

Diana:

I will keep the

Plates all spinning—

Diana & Natalie:

With a smile so white

And winning all the way—

All:

'Cause what doesn't kill me

Doesn't kill me,

So fill me up

For just another day.

Diana:

It only hurts when I'm breathe.

Dan:

It only hurts when I try.

Gabe

It only hurts when I think.

Natalie:

It only hurts when I cry.

Dan:

It only hurts when I work.

Gabe:

It only hurts when I play.

Natalie:

It only hurts when I move.

All:

It only hurts when I say...

Dan, Natalie & Gabe:

It's just another day

(Diana:A busy, busy day.)

And the morning sun

Is stunning,

(Diana: I will hold it all together.)

And you wish that you

Were running far away.

(Diana:I will hide the mess away.)

It's just another day—

(Diana: And I'll survive another day.)

Birds are singing,

Things are growing,

(Diana:And I will pray)

And you wish

(Diana: To hold on)

You could be going

(Diana: Just this way,)

But you stay.

And you stay

And stay forever,

(Diana: And for my family's sake)

Though you know I

(Diana: 'll take what I can take—)

It's now or never,

And you know I'm only just awake...

That for forever...

Diana:

Every day is just another...

And another... And another...

I will hold it all together.

We're the perfect loving fam'ly.

If they say we're not, then fuck 'em—

The perfect loving fam'ly.

I will keep the plates all spinning,

And the world just keeps on spinning,

And I think the house is spinning...

Their voices worked well together. However, Brody was the only one leaving the rehearsal with a feeling of accomplishment; the others just found him very irresponsible to start rehearsing to a production without even knowing whom the whole cast will be.

xXxXx

Kurt went after Louisa at her workplace to share the good news. She jumped surprised as he approached her hyper excited:

"Excellent news!"

"Do tell."

Kurt tried to fight his grin but he was too happy for it:

"We got our Henry: Blaine!"

Louisa's eyes opened wide:

"Wow! Brody is really defying all NYADA's urban legends by casting two freshmen to his production."

"He said, and I quote: 'Louisa is my lucky charm, she'll cast the jinx away'."

She placed the books she was carrying in the stand and hid her face in her hand:

"I can't believe how cheesy Brody can be."

Kurt could read Louisa pretty well and her embarrassment was more about liking what Brody had said than about what he said. He didn't know how comfortable he was with this new relationship:

"Things seem pretty serious between you and Brody..."

She bit her lips a little shy.

"Maybe they are; we started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. He still thinks of Rachel and I'm not completely over Finn; but I think it can be good for both of us."

"I'm just trying to protect you."

She smiled and captured him in a side hug:

"You are sounding just like me talking about your boyfriend... Wait a second; did you say Blaine was casted as Henry?"

"Sure; weren't you listening?"

"It's not that. I'm just realizing something: Blaine will play my boyfriend in the play..."

Kurt was confused:

"And?"

"Don't you get it, Kurt? I'll have to kiss your boyfriend?"

He laughed amused:

"Relax, boo; it's a stage kiss. I won't be jealous."

She rolled her eyes:

"You haven't gotten it yet: I kind of hate him!"

Goodness! How Louisa was stubborn. If he was half as stubborn as she, he couldn't get it how Blaine handled him. He rolled his eyes in the best Hummel way:

"Kind of is better than actually. Besides, it's about time you stop hating everyone I love."

She snorted:

"Don't push it; Rachel is not included in this."

"Fine; but you and Blaine must solve your quarrels once and for all."

He kissed her forehead while she was still wearing her puzzled look. She shot him an accusatorial glance:

"You loved it, didn't you?"

He laughed and winked at her in his best diva way.


	7. The Kiss

It was a normal Wednesday morning where Kurt and Blaine ate their breakfast together and peacefully. That day, however, Kurt couldn't stop staring at Blaine while he daydreamed about them. After a while, Blaine caught him and began to feel self-conscientious:

"What?"

"I'm just so proud of you."

Kurt's comment got him by surprise and it was shown in the grin growing wider in his face:

"You keep surprising me and that makes me fall in love with you each day more. But what have I done recently to make you particularly proud of me?"

"You don't see how amazing you are, do you? You are a freshman and you've already been casted to a play in NYADA; that's huge!"

Blaine chuckled emotionally about Kurt's flirting so early in the morning:

"That's kind of you but you are forgetting that your cousin is also a freshman and was also casted to the same play."

"Not that I care about NYADA's stupid legends or that I doubt Boo's talents; but it's easier when you are dating the director."

Blaine snorted trying to hide a laughter:

"Don't let her hear you."

"Nah. I have nothing to worry: she only uses her heavy weaponry against you. Besides, Boo and I always tell the truth to each other; I mean, when our stubbornness isn't on the way of making us admit some things."

"I like how you two know each other so well. You are so alike in some things and so radically different in others... Speaking of which; how is she feeling about the whole play?"

Kurt started to laugh frantically and Blaine kept staring at him awestruck. Kurt finally managed to calm down and said while whipping away a tear that had formed in his eye:

"I'm sorry... It's just... Do you believe she was having a hard time thinking about kissing you?"

A malicious smirk formed on Blaine's lips:

"That's wonderful information..."

"Oh please; don't use it against her or she'd know I told you and then I'd be dead."

"Fine, but just for you. What's her big problem anyway?"

"She says she still hates you; but I don't think that's true."

Blaine held Kurt's hand to calm his worried expression:

"I don't think it's true either. I think now is kind of a game between she and I and, I must admit, I'm kind of having fun teasing Lou."

Kurt rolled his eyes:

"So you don't have a problem kissing her?"

"No; do you?"

Kurt looked straight into Blaine's scared eyes:

"Honey; I trust you. And I trust her not to fall in love with you during a stage kiss. I was just worried about the limits of you guy's little game and actual hard feelings about each other..."

Blaine had gone quiet still moved by Kurt's words. Kurt knew how much the word "trust" meant between them. He got up and went to sit on Blaine's lap while moving his arms around the other's neck:

"Just try not to put your best into the kiss or else, poor thing; she'll be dammed to love you forever just like I am."

Blaine smiled and glued their lips together.

xXxXx

"Brody!"

He turned around when his name was called to see Rachel running towards him.

"Hi Rach; how's everything? I was just going to check the rehearsal room for Next to Normal; do you want to come with me?"

"Sure; I'd love to. It seems like ages since we've been able to talk."

Brody opened the door to his rehearsal room and turned to Rachel with his arms opened showing the scenario sampler:

"Here's where I've been spending most of my time. I'm so excited about this production; I want to leave NYADA having made a dent."

Rachel started walking towards him while awkwardly adjusting a strand of hair behind her ear:

"That's not exactly what the rumors around NYADA have been saying about you. Everybody is super excited about the hot couple of the moment."

Brody's face lit up in a grin:

"Are you talking about Louisa?"

She looked at him with an alarmed face:

"It's true then."

He sighed and took her hands making Rachel keep the eye contact:

"Look Rachel; I know things between us haven't ended up the right way and I also know most of it is my fault. There are probably a lot of things we should have talked about; but I accepted that you are with Finn and that that's your choice."

"Are you in love with her?"

He let go of her hands and ran some fingers through his hair while exhaling nervously:

"It's not that simple... Let me show you the acoustics of this place."

There was a small piano in the room and he sat by it trying a simple melody. He wasn't the best pianist; but he knew enough to accompany him in Asher Book's version of Gershwin's Someone to Watch Over Me. He was singing mostly to himself while images of Louisa and Rachel flew through his head.

There's a saying old says that love is blind

Still we're often told, "Seek and ye shall find"

So I'm going to seek a certain girl I've had in mind

Looking everywhere, haven't found her yet

She's the big affair I cannot forget

Only girl I ever think of with regret

I'd like to add her initial to my monogram

Tell me, where is the shepherdesses for this lost lamb?

There's a somebody I'm longing to see

I hope that she turns out to be

Someone who'll watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood

I know I could always be good

To one who'll watch over me

Although I may not be the man some

Girls think of as handsome

To her heart I carry the key

Won't you tell her please to put on some speed

Follow my lead, oh, how I need

Someone to watch over me

He was avoiding looking up at her and kept his head down for a few seconds after having finished the song:

"I'm finally moving on. Louisa could be the one to help me. Don't take me wrong: I'm not using her. I like her; but it's too soon and I just fell in love with one girl my whole life."

He looked at Rachel with bright meaningful eyes. She just nodded and swallowed hard. She tried to begin a few sentences but the words simply wouldn't come out of her mouth. Brody nodded:

"I see... It's the best for all of us... How are things with Finn?"

"Fine..."

He could tell that she was hiding something; however, they were interrupted by the sound operator coming to rehearse with Brody. Rachel used this excuse to leave and soon her not-spoken words were forgotten by him as he was absorbed by work.

xXxXx

Still with a lump on her throat, Rachel turned the keys allowing her in the apartment. Finn was on the couch watching for some kind of sport on TV. As soon as she entered; he muted the TV and got up:

"Something is wrong with you."

"It's nothing..."

"One of the things that made our relationship work was that I know you very well, Rachel. It's not because things aren't exactly perfect between us that I don't care about you."

"Don't worry; I'm fine."

She turned and started walking to her room but she was stopped by Finn's strong hands holding her to the place:

"Please; talk to me, Rachel."

She couldn't hold it any longer and busted into tears leaving Finn action-less for a few moments. Her crying was only intensifying until she felt his warmth as he pulled her to his embrace:

"It's fine, Rach. Whatever this is, we are going to figure it out."

She managed to say between sobs:

"I don't know what I'm doing with my life."

This seemed to shock him more than the situation itself. He rearranged them so that he could push her chin up to look in her eyes:

"Rachel, you are a star and I never doubted it a minute. You are in the best school of the country in the city of your dreams. You are casted on your fist New York production and you'll shine brighter than anyone has ever shone. Those things take time; don't give up."

She smiled feebly at him:

"What about happiness, Finn? I thought I had it all figured out, but since I moved to New York everything just gets more and more confused. What about me? What about us? I feel like I break a new thing every day..."

In a sudden enthusiasm, Finn grabbed her and kissed her full on the mouth:

"Sorry; I couldn't help myself. Rachel, you know I was attracted to you since the first time I saw you, right? And it wasn't just because you are pretty. You have something else that took me a lot of time to figure out. Charisma, is that the name? Whatever, I just knew you had something in you that would make you get there; that's why I never doubted you. Now, I'm going to sing you my feelings to make you see yourself as I do."

She couldn't help but chuckle as he struggled with the sound system to put on The Who's Tommy's Soundtrack and sing her the final mash-up of See Me, Feel Me/ Listening to You.

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me

Listening to you, I get the music

Gazing at you, I get the heat

Following you, I climb the mountain

I get excitement at your feet

Right behind you, I see the millions

On you, I see the glory

From you, I get opinions

From you, I get the story

Listening to you, I get the music

Gazing at you, I get the heat

Following you, I climb the mountain

I get excitement at your feet

She could tell he was trying to show that, not only he loved her, but he admired her as well. Looking back to all their ups and downs; it had always been Finn the one pushing her forward. She knew she loved him a lot; the problem was that she wasn't sure of what she felt about Brody.

Right behind you, I see the millions

On you, I see the glory

From you, I get opinions

From you, I get the story

Listening to you, I get the music

Gazing at you, I get the heat

Following you, I climb the mountain

I get excitement at your feet

Right behind you, I see the millions

On you

Finn finished the song and looked at her with hopeful eyes. Her heart was broking to let him down, but she couldn't lead him on knowing it would be worse to break his heart in a near future. She settled to approaching him and kissing his cheek:

"Thank you for everything; but if you don't mind I'd rather still sleep alone tonight."

She left to her room with a final look of Finn's expression that left no doubt that he minded.

xXxXx

Very unlike him, Finn was playing with the food on his plate with no will to eat anything. Kurt bumped his fists on the table and exclaimed:

"Something is very wrong with you if you are not eating. I'm your brother, for Goodness sake, tell me what's wrong!"

Finn kept silent about his feelings and Blaine approached them trying to ease things between the brothers:

"I managed to get a break to eat with you guys; what's going on around here?"

Finn was still staring at his plate. Kurt looked at him and then rolled his eyes turning to Blaine instead:

"Finn is being an idiot."

"I'm not."

Kurt turned to him with a triumphant smile:

"So now you are talking?"

They were about to go on with their little fight when Blaine intervened:

"Brothers will be brothers no matter whose son's they are."

Kurt looked back at his food but muttered something for Finn to listen:

"I'm sorry; it's just that I could help, you know?"

Finn sighed and looked at his brother:

"I'm having problems with Rachel; are you happy now?"

"Happier; it was you who insisted we should lunch together today. Remember I was Rachel's roommate for a year; I've learned how to deal with her mood swings."

"Then maybe you can explain me why she's still so cold with me even after I sang all my love for her."

Kurt looked at him with a sympathetic glance:

"You're still fighting, huh? You know Rachel loves you but she can be quite the diva. Maybe it's just her love for the spotlight speaking louder."

"It's not that simple; I addressed to her diva side too. We keep fighting about Brody and everything."

Finn dropped his fork in a waiver way and Kurt sighed appearing to finally understand the depth of the situation. To everyone's surprise, Blaine was the one to break the silence with an even more astonishing comment:

"What about Louisa?"

Finn chocked and Kurt looked at him with wide eyes:

"Honey, are you insinuating something?"

Blaine looked back at them insulted:

"Come on; who are you trying to fool? Anyone can see there's something between her and Finn. Finn, you are not that subtle and Kurt, I'm sure she has told you something about that."

The two brothers were equally shocked by Blaine's revelation and stuttering looking for words. Blaine snorted and went on:

"Look, Finn, you know I'm all in for you making up with Rachel; but that's really what you want? I'm just saying you should examine your feelings more carefully."

Finn turned determined to him:

"I love Rachel."

Kurt grabbed his boyfriend hand in an attempt to calm things down. Blaine looked to their linked hands and then coyly at Kurt; who smiled back and turned to Finn:

"I can still try to talk to Rachel if you want. And Blaine, about Louisa..."

Blaine interrupted him:

"Gorgeous, can't you see these four are creating a cuckoo's nest? This place is turning into a madhouse and if we don't take care, we'll end up trapped with them."

Before Kurt could answer, the sound of Finn's muffed laughter distracted them:

"Maybe we really are."

The three of them started laughing together.

xXxXx

When Kurt crossed Books'N'Stuff's door, he saw Louisa distractedly organizing a pile of books. He lightly touched her shoulder and was rewarded by an honest smile:

"Pumpkin! I was beginning to miss you."

"Even with all the rehearsals we have together? You must love me very much."

"You know I do. I just miss hanging out with you."

"Do you have time now?"

"I can get a break."

She dragged him to tea in the staffroom. She was finishing dishing it when she got curious:

"Kurt, you never seek me during my shift unless there's something you need to talk about."

"Guilty as charged."

She sat down and he took her hand inside both of his. After a sigh, he began:

"It's a delicate subject and I don't know where to start."

"You are beginning to worry me. There's no need for secrets between us. Just go ahead."

"It's about Brody. Can I ask you how you are feeling about him?"

She opened the biggest smile that threw a glow in her face:

"I think something very good can come of it. It's been a while since I was in a relationship and it feels nice. I... I'm... Can I sing about it?"

All she needed was a nod from Kurt for her to run to connect her iPod to the stereo and start to sing Wednesday's solo from The Addams Family musical.

I don't have a sunny disposition.

I'm not known for being too amused.

My demeanor's locked in one position.

See my face? I'm enthused.

Suddenly, however, I've been puzzled.

Bunny rabbits make me want to cry

All my inhibitions have been muzzled,

And I think I know why.

I'm being pulled in a new direction,

But I think I like it.

I think I like it.

I'm being pulled in a new direction.

Through my painful pursuit,

Somehow birdies took root.

All the things I detested impossibly cute.

God! What do I do?

She was harmonizing to Pulled and Kurt was worrying that his cousin was falling in love with the wrong person. But she was shining a new glow and he couldn't help to like seeing her so happy; which just broke his heart even more to say the words he was about to say.

Mother always said be kind to strangers,

But she doesn't know what they destroy.

I can feel the clear and present dangers,

When she learns that the boy...

Has got me pulled in a new direction,

But I think I like it.

I think I like it.

I'm being pulled in a new direction,

But this feeling, I know is impossible,

So I'll confide that I've tried but I can't let it go.

It's disgustingly true!

Pulled, pulled, pulled!

Puppy dogs with droopy faces,

Unicorns with dancing mice,

Sunrise in wide open spaces,

DisneyWorld - I'll go there twice!

Butterflies and picnic lunches,

Bunches of chrysanthamums,

Lollipops and pillow fights and Christmas eve,

Sugar plums!

String quartets and Chia Pets,

And afternoon banana splits,

Angels watching as I sleep,

And Liberace's Greatest Hits!

Have got me pulled in a new direction!

If they keep insisting, I'll stop resisting.

Just watch me pulled in a new direction.

I should stay in the dark,

Not obey every spark,

But the boy has a bite,

Better far than his bark

And you bet I'll bite too,

Do what's truly taboo,

As I'm pulled in a new direction!

She finished the song with a goofy smile on her lips. He applauded her but signaled her to sit down. As soon as she did, he took her hand again with a more concerned face:

"Boo, can I tell something about this new direction you're being pulled?"

She smiled:

"Is it about his former job?"

"So you do know what he used to do for a living?"

She chuckled:

"You and Blaine once mentioned it in one of ours hangouts. It was a long time ago, before there was anything between him and me. It was also from you and Blaine that I've learned about second chances."

Kurt squeezed her hand:

"I just want you to be protected."

She smiled amused:

"I'm familiar with the feeling. But you know I don't let my guard down that easily."

Kurt looked down defensively:

"It was different with Blaine... We have something real against Brody. That's why I need you to take care."

She bent down to meet his eyes:

"Aren't you forgetting a little thing we had against Blaine? Calm down; I admit I was wrong about him. It's just, maybe, you are wrong about Brody too... Besides, he knows I had a crush on Finn and I know he still have feelings for Rachel. We are taking it slow."

Kurt chuckled while pulling her to a hug:

"At least something good came from all of this: you admitted you were wrong about Blaine."

She broke the embrace annoyed for being caught with her guard down. Kurt amusedly poked her nose.

xXxXx

Blaine entered the dance studio where he knew he'd find Louisa working for Cassandra. To his luck, she was alone in the room cleaning a mirror. He made sure he was appearing on it before saying:

"A little bird told me you may not be so angry at me anymore."

She made an upset grimace:

"That little bird of yours is a gossip."

He snorted out a laugh and began walking towards her:

"Come on Lou; I thought we had agreed on truce."

"And I thought Kurt was on my side; he's my cousin, for crying out loud!"

Blaine smirked:

"But he's my boyfriend."

She shook her hands up to stop him for saying anything else:

"Okay, okay; you won. I don't need to know the things you do to keep him on your side."

Blaine laughed and she joined him. In the middle of it, they made eye contact and both laughters were transformed into smiles. Blaine bumped her shoulder:

"We have to get along now not just for Kurt."

She nodded:

"I guess you're not that bad after all."

He smiled triumphantly:

"That's all I needed to hear."

He sat at the piano and began to play You've Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story, leaving Louisa awestruck.

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

When the road looks rough ahead

And you're miles and miles

From your nice warm bed

Just remember what your old pal said

Boy, you've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

He winked and made funny faces throughout the performance and managed to take a few laughers from her after her initial disgusted frown.

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

You've got troubles, well I've got 'em too

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you

We stick together and we see it through

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

Some other folks might be

A little bit smarter than I am

Bigger and stronger too

Maybe

But none of them will ever love you the way I do

It's me and you

And as the years go by

Our friendship will never die

You're gonna see

It's our destiny

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

His own smile was growing larger and larger until the song finished in some heart-felt applause.

You've got a friend in me

She walked closer:

"Toy Story, Blaine? Really?"

"You can't blame a guy for calling on your Disney heart."

She grinned:

"Nice shot, cowboy."

"Does this mean that I can invite you to hang out tonight and you'll cook me that Brazilian chocolate thing?"

She pushed him playfully:

"Call Kurt and ask if you have the ingredients for brigadeiro. I'll bring the movie; I've got a sudden urge to watch Toy Story again."

xXxXx

This wasn't the dress Louisa was used to wear, but both Kurt and Brody had agreed that it was the perfect choice for the Dance scene. She took a deep breath in front of the mirror before walking to the other room and joining the others.

Blaine, who was waiting by the door to enter stage with her, was surprised when he saw her:

"You really are a vision in blue."

She was trying to hide her shyness with a witty comment:

"Please Bowtie, you're gay and committed."

He insisted:

"I'm just trying to point out that you are a beautiful and smart woman; why don't you let it show?"

She blushed and was glad when she felt his hand guiding her towards the rehearsal room. Brody and the rest of the cast were waiting for them accompanied by the unexpected presence of Finn, whose eyes jumped from their orbits when he saw her. Brody's eyes also grew wider as she walked in; but he shook it out quickly and took his director posture:

"Louisa, Blaine, I see that you are ready. We'll rehearse the Hey #3/Perfect for you (reprise) scene today. If you can please take your spots, we'll begin."

They stood across the stage from each other and Blaine managed to wink at her unnoticed by the rest before starting to sing.

Henry:

Hey

Natalie:

Hey

Henry:

You look like a star

A vision in blue

Natalie:

Oh I do?

Henry:

And you are

Hey, you came

Natalie:

Well I said that I might

Henry:

I thought we were through

Me and you

Natalie:

Not tonight

Henry:

Will you mom be ok?

Natalie:

Well she might be some day.

Henry:

But for now it's all fine?

Natalie:

She's still on my mind.

Henry:

Can you leave it behind?

Natalie:

Hey, hey

Henry:

Stay, let's see this thing through

Natalie

Am I crazy?

I might end up crazy

Henry:

I'll be here for you

Natalie:

You say that right here

But then give it a year

Or 10 years or a life

And I could end up your wife

Sitting staring at walls

Throwing shit down the stairs

Freaking out at the store

Running nude down the street

Bleeding out in the bath

Henry:

Perfect for you

I will be perfect for you

So you could go crazy

Or I could go crazy, it's true

Sometimes life is insane

But crazy I know I can do

Cause crazy is perfect

And fucked up is perfect

So I will be perfect

Natalie:

Perfect

Both:

Perfect for you

She couldn't deny that he was a perfect partner to do a scene with; he made it very easy to act against him, not to mention that he was really good. So, when the kissing scene came and their lips met, she felt like she had a friend on the other end of that kiss. Brody screamed cut and she and Blaine had the same reaction of seeking the other for a hug. He whispered in her ear:

"Good job, Carmen Miranda."

"Same to you, Bowtie."

xXxXx

Rachel entered the rehearsal room when Blaine and Louisa where kissing on stage.

She tried to make her presence unannounced and sat on one of the chairs of the back roll. Much to her surprise, she wasn't alone there. To her bigger surprise, she was sitting next to Finn.

Soon Brody cut the scene and everyone instantly seemed busy doing something for the play; except for her and Finn. They smile to each other acknowledging the other's presence. When it was beginning to get awkward, she tried some chitchat:

"Are you here for long?"

He smiled feebly:

"Just the last scene. I had lunch with Kurt yesterday and he told me they would be trying his new costumes today and that I had to see it."

"He told me the same."

They smiled seeing Kurt's scheme. They both started talking at the same time but Finn signaled her to go on:

"It's nice that we can talk again."

"It is."

The awkward silence fell between them again and Rachel felt like she was letting go of something very precious and that she'd regret that latter:

"Are you going out with them or are you going home?"

He got serious and looked straight to her eyes:

"I thought I had made it clear that it's all up to you."

She swallowed hard and nodded:

"Okay; let's go then."

He smiled and led the way out. Already in the hallway, he took her hand and she was happy he did it.

xXxXx

Louisa was taking off her shoes and preparing to change to her normal clothes when she heard a knock on the door. Brody came in after she had allowed:

"Excuse-me, can I come in?"

She smiled at him through the mirror:

"Sure."

"I'm glad I let Kurt in charge of costumes; you were breathtaking, pookie."

"Thank you."

Not that she was impressed by what Kurt had reminded her; but having in mind that Kurt wasn't comfortable with that relationship made her somehow apprehensive. Brody must have noticed it, because he sat down and hid his head between his hands before speaking:

"So Kurt told you about my past, right?"

She pursed her lips but nodded:

"I already knew it; but he remembered me and he's worried."

"I can see why... Look, I'm not proud of it; I did it for tuition money. Not everyone is lucky to have a scholarship or a family whiling to pay for your dreams."

She was starting to pity him; but her defensive side was louder:

"What about Rachel?"

He lowered his head in a defeated posture:

"That's my biggest regret."

The feelings inside Louisa were still fighting a ferocious battle; but at that moment all she could see was Brody's human fragile side and it was for it that she was falling. Against her better judgment, she crouched in front of him and cupped his face bringing it up:

"Hey, one of the things that New York taught me was about second chances. I think you deserve one."

His eyes sparkled:

"I won't let you down. I like spending time with you and I really want to get to know you better."

"Me too."

She brought her face closer to his and rewarded him with a kiss. She broke it with a smile:

"So dinner tonight?"

"Only if it's my treat."

"Like I would have it any other way..."

xXxXx

Rachel pulled Finn by the hand inside her room. She returned his favor by serenading him with Norah Jones' Turn Me On. Finn's smile didn't leave his face while they got reacquainted with each other.

Like a flower, waiting to bloom

Like a lightbulb, in a dark room

I'm just sittin' here waiting for you

To come on home and turn me on

Like the desert waiting for the rain

Like a school kid waiting for the spring

I'm just sitting here waiting for you

Meanwhile, Kurt and Blaine where enjoying a quiet night with a home-cooked meal in their apartment.

To come on home and turn me on

My poor heart, it's been so dark

Since you've been gone

Louisa and Brody where getting to know one another in a fancy restaurant Brody was sure would impress the foreigner girl. She wouldn't tell him she wasn't that fond of fancy places because the light behind his eyes was telling her he was trying his best.

After all your the one who turns me off

But you're the only one who can turn me back on

My Hi-fi is waiting for a new tune

My glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes

I'm just sitting here waiting for you

To come on home and turn me on, turn me on

For the moment; all was well.


	8. Grandma Hummel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to "cast" the characters as you like, but I strongly encourage you to picture Julie Andrews as Muriel Hummel and Hugh Jackman as Andrew Hummel.

It was nightfall when the four of them arrived in New Hampshire after the long car-drive from New York. They were still stretching out and getting out of the car when two figures went out of the big country house. With screams of "Mom" and "Dad"; Finn and Kurt went running towards the couple. Louisa and Blaine exchanged a glance and continued unpacking the car.  
"Booisa!"  
"Uncle Burt!"  
After having hugged his son, Burt approached his niece to hug her too. Carole was joining them; Burt grabbed her hand to introduce the two of them:  
"I guess you haven't met my wonderful wife and Finn's mother; Carole?"  
Louisa smiled at her still catch on Burt's other arm:  
"I'm so glad to finally meet you. Kurt has been telling me how nice you are; but he forgot to mention how pretty you are. Good choice, Uncle Burt!"  
Carole ignored the girl stretched hand to take her in a hug:  
"Aren't you the sweetest and most beautiful young lady? I was also curious about the famous Louisa..."  
Blaine could suppress a chuckle:  
"Wait until you get to know her, Mrs. H."  
Burt looked confused at Kurt waiting for an explanation to Blaine's weird behavior. Kurt shook his head dismissively:  
"Never to worry: those two are like that since they've met. There isn't much we can do about it."  
Blaine smirked at Louisa and tackled her into a bear-hug. At this moment, the group was joined by another figure coming out of the house:  
"Aren't you going to hug your Grandmother a happy Thanksgiving?"  
Louisa got hid of Blaine to join Kurt running towards the elegant old lady. The three of them were locked together in a tight hug when Carole dragged Finn by the hand near them:  
"Mrs. Hummel, I don't know if you remember my son Finn. You've met him at the wedding."  
Mrs. Hummel stretched her hand to the boy:  
"Of course I remember him. How do you do?"  
She was shaking Finn's hand when she noticed the other boy walking closer in Burt's embrace. She then turned to her granddaughter:  
"Is that you boyfriend, Louisa?"  
"No Grandma, Blaine is Kurt's boyfriend. Blaine, that's our Grandmother Muriel Hummel."  
Louisa could see a frown passing her grandmother's face that she hid in a polite smile, while stretching her hand to the boy:  
"Nice to meet you, young man.  
"The pleasure is all mine, madam."  
At that moment, a voice coming from the house's door caught everyone's attention:  
"Don't I deserve a hug too?"  
An awkward silence fell between all of them as they stared into the man's embarrassed smile and Louisa's disgusted scowl. Kurt broke it by taking Blaine's hand:  
"Honey, that's my Uncle Andrew, or Andy; Louisa's father."  
Before Blaine could answer, Muriel was clearing her throat to get everyone's attention:  
"There are freshly baked snickerdoodles on the kitchen counter. If we eat just a few of them, no one's appetite will be ruined for dinner."  
Everyone but Andrew started to enter the house towards the kitchen. Louisa was the last one; but, before crossing the door, Andrew grabbed her arm stopping her to go on:  
"Don't I deserve at least that you talk to me after all this time?"  
She sighed:  
"I don't know; do you?"  
"Come on; it's Thanksgiving..."  
"On my behalf, I didn't know you'd be here or I'd have stayed in New York."  
She managed to get her arm free and walked towards the door. He tried one last hope in a tiny voice:  
"Louisa... please..."  
She turned with a blank face:  
"Now you are begging? Have you something to say to me? How about where were you the last sixteen years? Are you speechless? I figured it would be the case. Where's the new wife?"  
"Taking her son to visit her parents..."  
"You should have gone with her; it would have been better for everybody."  
With those words, she entered the house without a glimpse back.

xXxXx

"Why, why; what do we have here? Rachel Berry is in New York during Thanksgiving?"  
Rachel looked up from the play she was studding to see who was calling her:  
"Oh Brody; I didn't know you were in New York too."  
He smirked and sat on a chair next to hers:  
"I thought you'd be with lover-boy on the Hummels' family reunion..."  
"No; my dads wanted to see some Broadway shows and decided to spend the holiday with me. How about you? I thought you and Louisa were an item now; hasn't she invited you to visit Grandma Hummel?"  
He moved uncomfortably on the chair:  
"Actually, she did. It's just that I have a problem with meeting family too soon..."  
Rachel shot him a cynical glance:  
"Brody, if I didn't know you I'd say your problem is either being afraid of commitment or not trusting this relationship to be one. And if you asked me to bet; I'd go with the second one..."  
"Are you trying to say I'm not serious about Louisa?"  
Rachel tried looking away to avoid the subject; but when she saw he'd not give up, she sighed and answered:  
"Being absolute honest with you: I really doubt your feelings towards her."  
He smirked again:  
"Ok Rachel; you won and I'll admit what you want to hear: yes, I still have feelings for you. And you know it; Finn knows it, and specially, Louisa knows it. She had a crush on another guy too and she told me. But we found each other and it has been great! And, contrarily to what you are thinking; I'm not playing with her feelings, I swear."  
Rachel wasn't convinced by his little speech:  
"I once trusted your oath too; it didn't end well. But that's in the past now... Let's talk about important things: does this guy you mentioned Louisa having a crush on happens to be my boyfriend?"  
Brody laughed loudly. He got up from his chair and poked her nose playfully:  
"That, my dear Rachel, you won't take out from me. I guess I see you around..."  
With that last phrase, he turned around and went his way.

xXxXx

Muriel Hummel ringed a bell to announce the family that dinner was served. The Hummels and their guests arrived slowly on the big dinner-room table. They were taking their usual spots and Muriel was guiding the newcomers to finding their places:  
"Louisa why don't you give your spot so that your Aunt Carole can sit next to her husband? Sit here next to Blaise..."  
Louisa smiled acidulated:  
"I'll gladly give my spot to Carole, but I can sit here next to Finn and let Blaine sit side-by-side with his boyfriend."  
They both knew the game the other was playing; but Muriel wouldn't let her claws be exposed that easily. She just nodded and sat on the head of the table. She cleared her throat to call everyone's attention:  
"Well, it's Thanksgiving and as the Catholic family we're; I'd like to say a prayer before we eat. Blaine, dear, if you are not a Christian don't feel embarrassed to leave the table."  
Blaine smiled sincerely:  
"No need, ma'am; I'm a Catholic too."  
Kurt quietly pushed his chair back so he could leave the table. Muriel saw that and called his attention:  
"Kurt! You stay where you are."  
"But I'm not..."  
Before he could finish, Burt glanced at him and waved him to let it go. Resigned, he sat back down. Louisa took a deep breath to keep her from saying anything. Muriel got up and closed her eyes to start the prayer:  
"Dear Lord in Heaven, we would like to thank you for being united once more in this house. We thank Thee for our food, our water, the air we breathe, the roof upon our heads. We're your humble servants and we'll always seek not to live in sin. Amen."  
Louisa and Kurt shared an understanding glance knowing the intentions behind their Grandmother's choice of words. They giggled quietly and focused on their food. Andrew started to chitchat:  
"So kids; do you all live in New York together?"  
Finn, being unaware of the unspoken communication all the Hummels were having, was the one to answer:  
"I live with my girlfriend, Kurt and Blaine live together and Louisa lives with a roommate."  
Muriel chocked catching all the attentions. Louisa couldn't control herself anymore and began to distill her venom:  
"Something is wrong, Grandma? Do you have any problem with me living with a roommate?"  
Being the perfect lady she was, Muriel didn't lose her hauteur for nothing:  
"I just find it a little dangerous for two young ladies to be living alone in a city as dangerous as New York."  
Louisa smirked:  
"Good guessing Grandma; my roommate is indeed a girl. But don't worry; no one would be crazy enough to mess with Maggie. It just adds to her being the perfect roommate. The only problem is when she has her girlfriends over and I have to hear their making-out sounds."  
Muriel didn't stop her tongue this time:  
"And you are okay with that? Aren't you afraid?"  
Louisa laughed amused:  
"Afraid of what? Maggie attacking me during the night? It's okay; I'm not her type."  
Burt tried to calm things down:  
"New York is an expensive place and roommates are necessary. Kurt used to share his apartment with two other people, right kiddo? But I insisted he should move there; NYADA is the best school for them and we are proud to have three of the members of our family going there. Not to mention Rachel, Finn's girlfriend."  
Muriel smiled politely:  
"That's truly... how can I say?... A blessing!"  
Louisa snorted out a comment:  
"Bullshit..."  
Mrs. Hummel caught that and immediately slapped her hand on the table reprimanding the girl:  
"Louisa! Where are your good manners?"  
The girl hit the point she was avoiding but she knew would be inevitable: her blood had begun to boil.  
"They are together with your politeness, Grandma."  
Muriel was simply shocked. She looked at Andrew in disbelief:  
"Andrew! Will you let your daughter talk to me like this?"  
Before he could form an answer to give to his traditional mother or to his daughter that couldn't loath him more; Louisa got up throwing her napkin on the floor:  
"And will you let your nephew suffer prejudice from his own family?"  
Kurt tried to make her sit down again; he tried in a feeble voice:  
"Boo, that's alright..."  
She cut him off:  
"No Kurt; that's disgusting! Since we arrived here, Grandma has done nothing but judge you and Blaine. If our society is as cruel and prudish as it is, you should at least be allowed to be yourself with your own family. With the ones who love you unconditionally."  
Muriel got up too:  
"Maria Louisa Hummel; I won't admit that you come into my house to tell me I don't love my grandson!"  
"First of all: I'm not saying you don't love him; I'm just pointing out that you are trying to mold him into the perfect boy you picture him to be. Second: My name is Maria Louisa Alcantara Hummel. Maybe that's why I won't resign so easily. You know what, Grandma? You've lived alone here by yourself far too long; times are changing and you can't stop people from being who they are."  
What happened next was so much of an insanity that leaved all action-less: Louisa got up on the table and started singing Queen's We Will Rock You while slapping two times in her chest and clapping her hands once to mark the rhythm. 

Buddy you're a boy make a big noise  
Playing in the street gonna be a big man some day  
You got mud on your face  
You big disgrace  
Kickin' your can all over the place  
Singin'

One by one, the people on the room started reacting to Louisa's outburst.

We will we will rock you

Finn was the first; he began to drum on the table following the rhythm with her.

We will we will rock you

Carole started to take Mrs. Hummel's china away from Louisa's dancing feet. Burt, who knew trying to stop his niece now would only make things worse; joined Carole.

Buddy you're a young man hard man  
Shouting in the street gonna take on the world some day  
You got blood on your face  
You big disgrace  
Wavin' your Banner all over the place

Blaine was taken by Lou's enthusiasm and joined her by getting up on his chair and singing chorus to her (Finn began to sing when Blaine did).

We will we will rock you  
Singin'  
We will we will rock you

Buddy you're an old man poor man  
Pleading with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day  
You got mud on your face  
Big disgrace  
Somebody better put you back into your place

Kurt looked at his family in a mixt of marvel with fearfulness.

We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you  
singing  
We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you  
everybody  
We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you

Only Andrew and Muriel stayed awestruck throughout the entire performance.   
Louisa was still standing on the table, having just finished the song, when Muriel sat back shocked:  
"I think I'm the one to blame for what we have seen here tonight. My father was right: we must stay away from the arts. If I haven't filled you with artistic dreams; you wouldn't have become the band of hippie sodomites you are today."  
Louisa was about to protest when Kurt got fed up and left the room in tears. Blaine was quick in running after him and Burt signaled Louisa to let him take care of it. An awkward silence fell in the dining room and they just stayed there staring at each other and pretending nothing had happened. 

xXxXx

Brody's phone began to ring in his deserted lodge-room. He checked out who it was and was surprised to see Rachel's name flashing.   
"Rachel? Anything wrong?"  
"No; does anything have to be wrong for me to call you?"  
Brody chuckled but he wasn't completely at ease with this conversation:  
"Of course not. We are trying to be friends; aren't we?"  
"Exactly. That's why I called to see if you had company for your Thanksgiving dinner or if you wanted to join me and my dads for a turkey the Berry style?"  
He sat down on his bed and took a deep breath trying to regain his focus:  
"It's tempting; but I don't think it would be wise..."  
"Why not?"  
"You really want me to say it out loud? Okay, then; I don't trust myself to be alone with you in a room."  
She giggled:  
"So you doubt your feelings towards Louisa?"  
"Stop teasing me, Rachel! No; I don't doubt what I feel for her, but we aren't there yet. For now, I'll stick to my original plan of going to a fancy restaurant to enjoy a fine wine and some delicious food."  
"Ok; it's your call. My proposition is still open if you change your mind. Maybe you are being the wise one here..."  
He was surprised:  
"Does that mean you doubt your feelings for lover-boy?"  
"Goodbye Brody; maybe we bump into each other sometime during the long weekend."  
"Goodbye Rachel Berry; but remember you owe me one: I opened my heart to you and it's only fair that you do the same."

xXxXx

Blaine found Kurt curved to a ball laying on one of the bunk beds of the "children's" room. He smiled to himself and lightly sat on the bed passing his arms around Kurt. Only then, the boy perceived he wasn't alone in the room. Kurt was trying to hide the fact he had been crying when he spoke:  
"She wasn't like that, you know? She had some friends who admitted being gay years ago, when everything was more tabooed than now."  
Blaine adjusted him in the embrace and kissed the top of his boyfriend's head:  
"Don't you think I have heard worse from my own father?"  
Kurt looked at him alarmed:  
"Oh honey; I'm so sorry. Here I am being silly."  
Blaine shushed him pulling him back to the embrace:  
"It's not silly; you were gotten by surprise. You are lucky to have the father you have and people like Louisa in your family. She did all of that for you; you know? She might be in trouble now for defending you."  
"Oh My! I should go there and thank her."  
"I don't think she's expecting it. She knows that if we show back there now things may get worse."  
Kurt sighed and Blaine began to stroke his hair. They were silent for a while before Kurt sat up to look at him:  
"I know it's not my fault; but you had to hear some nasty things on my behalf tonight."  
Blaine grinned:  
"For you, I'd face much worse."  
Blaine leaned in and captured his lips in a kiss. Kurt threw himself at it and let his worries be swept by Blaine's tongue movements. Exactly at this moment, Louisa knocked on the door and walked in on them:  
"Hey boys, remember the room is not only yours tonight."  
They broke apart laughing. She smiled kindly:  
"How are you, pumpkin?"  
Kurt returned her a grateful smile:  
"I'm fine; thank you."  
She winked:  
"No need for that between us."  
Blaine got up from the bed walking towards his bag:  
"We better get ready for sleeping. Which bed should I take?"  
Louisa laughed at him:  
"Stop being so narrow minded, Bowtie. General Hummel won't be checking on us during the night. Just put two mattresses together on the floor and you two can cuddle to sleep."  
The couple looked at each other amazed by the girl's simple solution. Kurt spoke it aloud:  
"That's genius, boo!"  
She chuckled:  
"It's called the Brazilian way of living; we are the masters of finding creative solutions to our daily puzzles. But that doesn't mean I won't be sleeping in the same room as you. I have nowhere else to sleep; so keep it PG. I'm sure Finn is also not willing to go to sleep with make-out noises on the background..."  
Blaine smirked:  
"I thought Maggie made you get used to it."  
He was assaulted by a pillow flowing in his direction. He was hit by it and looked at Louisa, who was threatening him:  
"I won't save your sorry asses the next time."

xXxXx

One of the best things about Grandma House was the silence. It was so peaceful and quiet that anyone would feel immediately calm. Louisa knew that very well and she wanted to take full advantage of it. That was why she woke up earlier than everybody did and when to sit on the rocking chair on the porch accompanied by her cup of tea.   
She was so absorbed in watching the landscape that she only noticed that Burt was by her side when he spoke:  
"Mind if I join you?"  
She smiled kindly and moved a little to leave room for him to sit by her side. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and he passed his free arm around her:  
"So, how's New York life treating you?"  
"Not so kindly; but it's good to have Kurt with me. And, although I don't like admitting it, Blaine is a wonderful friend."  
"And how about your disease?"  
She looked at him and he was staring into the wide. However, she felt like he had an eye pointed directly to her soul. She took another sip of the tea before responding:  
"It has its ups and downs. The medication is keeping it under control but New York has been testing my limits."  
He sighed:  
"The problem about your disease is that it's silent; you seem calm on your exterior and no one can see how much you're hurting on the inside. The prejudice come from there: people are afraid of what's different and what they can't understand. It was the same with Kurt and Blaine; no one can see how they feel inside and that's why people judge them. Anyway, all of this just to tell you that I have supported them with their struggles and that now I'm here for you."  
She turned to him with moist eyes and he just opened his arms wide for her to snuggle in his embrace. Their heard someone clearing his throat and turned to see Andrew standing by the door. His face was serious:  
"Good morning Burt, Louisa. Can I talk to you, Lou?"  
She frowned at the nickname but decided to follow him on a walk around the grounds. They were circling the house when Andy spoke first:  
"It was here that I saw you growing. You were just a little girl when you came to visit me and I freaked out every time. I brought you here so Mom could help me taking care of you."  
"That part I know. The problem began later."  
He sighed:  
"You insist on seeing that as a problem..."  
She couldn't believe her ears:  
"I beg your pardon? You don't think that not hearing from you the last sixteen years is not a problem?"  
"It's not like that; there wasn't a month I didn't send your mother money to help raising you..."  
"Money? Do you think that's enough? You have no idea what my mother went through to raise me."  
"You're right; I don't. That's why I want to get to know you!"  
She looked down trying to calm herself. She then looked at him straight in the eyes:  
"Do you want to know me? Let me tell you a couple of things..."  
She began to let her feelings out in the best way she knew how: singing. She chose ABBA's The Name of the Game to ask her father why he had done what he did. Andrew just watched and swallowed hard as if absorbing her every word.

I've seen you twice in a short time  
Only a day since we started  
It seems to me for every time  
I'm getting more open hearted

I was an impossible case  
No one ever could reach me  
But I think I can see in your face  
There's a lot you can teach me

So I wanna know what's the name of the game?  
Does it mean anything to you?  
What's the name of the game?  
Can you feel it the way I do?  
Tell me please 'cause I have to know  
I'm a bashful child beginning to grow

And you make me talk and you make me feel  
And you make me show what I'm trying to conceal  
If I trust in you, would you let me down?  
Would you laugh at me if I said I care for you?  
Could you feel the same way too  
I wanna know the name of the game

I have no friends, no one to see  
And I am never invited  
Now I am here talking to you  
No wonder I get excite

Your smile and the sound of your voice  
And the way you see through me  
Got a feeling, you give me no choice  
But it means a lot to me

So I wanna know what's the name of the game?  
Does it mean anything to you?  
But it means a lot, what's the name of the game?  
Can you feel it the way I do?  
Tell me please 'cause I have to know  
I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow

And you make me talk and you make me feel  
And you make me show what I'm trying to conceal  
If I trust in you would you let me down?  
Would you laugh at me if I said I care for you?  
Could you feel the same way too?  
I wanna know, oh yes I wanna know

The name of the game  
Does it mean anything to you?  
What's the name of the game?  
Can you feel it the way I do?

But it means a lot, what's the name of the game?  
Does it mean anything to you?

What's the name of the game?  
Can you feel it the way I do?

She finished the performance with a fierce look glued to his. All he could do was lower his head. She snorted and went away back into the house.

xXxXx

Finn understood why Rachel had stayed in New York, but it didn't make him miss her less. He loved Muriel Hummel's house and he wished he could share it with her. He did his best: he took a picture of the view from their shared room and sent it to her with the subtitle: "wish you were here."  
A little before lunch was served; his phone rang and he answered with a smile:  
"Hi babe!"  
"Hi babe; how are things around there?"  
"It's so beautiful around here, Rach. I wish you could see it too."  
He could hear the softness in her voice:  
"Oh Finn; the picture you sent was so gorgeous. I'm sure it would have been a perfect vacation there with you guys; but here is not bad either. My dads have gone crazy with Broadway and Fifth Avenue. They even took me shopping. They are going to a Spa today and I'm having lunch with Brody."   
"Rachel, I think the phone is not working properly. The last sentence I understood was that you are having lunch with Brody."  
His laugh died in his throat as she spoke again:  
"That's right. He's coming pick me up in five minutes."  
"I can't believe it, Rachel! You are not having lunch with him!"  
"What's the problem, Finn? Aren't you there with Louisa?"   
"That's totally different! She's visiting her grandmother and you aren't here because you had other plans."   
"Finn, I don't want to fight over the phone..."  
"Me neither; but you are the one having a date with your freaking ex-boyfriend!"  
"He's my friend and he was completely alone during Thanksgiving. I thought it was only polite to invite him over."  
"Fine, Rachel! Happy Thanksgiving!"  
"Happy Thanksgiving, Finn. There's no reason for you to be mad at me. I hope we can talk about it when you are back in New York."

xXxXx

Lunch time was the first time since Louisa's incident that all the Hummels where in the same room again. Everyone took the same place as the night before and lunch was served in total silence.   
Burt cleared his throat:  
"So, mom, how was your morning?"  
"Quite decent."  
She shot a glance Louisa's way. The girl was concentrating on cutting her meat. You could hear the sound of the cuterly. Carole smiled a little embarrassed.   
"We went hiking. Burt showed me how beautiful nature is around here."  
Silence still. Finn smiled at his mom between bites. She turned back to Burt with a resigned face. He tried once more:  
"How about you, kiddo? Say something, Kurt."  
"Could you pass me the potatoes?"  
More sound of cuterly on the tablewear. No one else said a thing.  
Muriel finished her meal and stood up:  
"I'll be serving tea and cookies in the living-room."  
Entering for the first time in the living-room in day light; Blaine was astonished by the piano:  
"What a magnificent piano you have here, Mrs. Hummel."  
She politely gave the boy a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Burt saw an opportunity to easy things down:  
"It's a family heirloom; it was my grandmother's. Would you like to play it, Blaine? I bet you know Mary Poppins' Feed the Birds by heart. It one of mom's favorites and she'd be glad if she could sing for us. Right, mother?"  
Muriel shot him an ice glare but wouldn't let her true colors show:  
"Do you know the song, young man?"  
Blaine smiled:  
"It's one of my favorites too. It'd be an honor to accompany you, ma'am."  
It was without great enthusiasm that Muriel sat next to the piano and began to sing as Blaine played the melody. Slowly, tears began to form in her eyes, but she didn't let it reach her voice.

Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul's,  
The little old bird woman comes.  
In her own special way to the people she calls,  
"Come, buy my bags full of crumbs."

"Come feed the little birds, show them you care,  
And you'll be glad if you do --  
Their young ones are hungry, their nests are so bare;  
All it takes is tuppence from you."

Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,  
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag.  
"Feed the birds," that's what she cries,  
While overhead, her birds fill the skies.

All around the cathedral, the saints and apostles  
Look down as she sells her wares;  
Although you can't see it, you know they are smiling  
Each time someone shows that he cares.

Though her words are simple and few,  
Listen, listen, she's calling to you --  
"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag,  
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag."

It wasn't until the very last note that she couldn't hide the crack anymore. She quickly wiped her tears and comment acidly:  
"If only this boy knew the notes I wouldn't be off-key on the last note."  
Kurt was about to protest but Burt once again waved him to let it go.

xXxXx

It was a tradition when they were young to climb the tree house when they wanted to talk about something the grown-ups couldn't hear. That was why Louisa knew where to lead Blaine and Finn after Kurt's sudden disappearance after lunch. As predicted, the boy was there staring at the mountains. She hugged him from behind and kissed his shoulder:  
"You know it was about her lost dreams and not Blaine that she was so pissed off, right?"  
He smiled coyly:  
"Why is the heavy burden on us then?"  
"Because she already cheated on me by not telling my father would be here."  
Kurt chuckled and sat on the floor; soon being followed by the others. He took Blaine's hand:  
"Here used to be our hiding spot when he didn't want to rehearse anymore."  
Blaine smiled at his boyfriend and kissed the back of his hand. Finn looked confused:  
"I don't get it; why do you take all that crap from her? I've never seen you so keen to do what you are told, Kurt."  
Kurt looked fondly at his brother:  
"It's because of dad; I worry about his health. He always told me to be careful around Grandma Hummel. Her father killed all her dreams and she tried to live them through us. However, she had never been so mean."  
Louisa added in a serious tune:  
"Maybe seen we getting closer to her dream of living through the arts is making her so sour. I mean; she was always strict but kind, but now she all about appearances and good manners and none about the cheer of having her family reunited."  
Kurt took Louisa's hand with his free one. Finn commented absented minded:  
"I wonder what number we'll have around dinner time."  
They laughed together and enjoyed the rest of their time alone in the tree house.

xXxX

The dinner was served along with the now usual awkward silence. However, Carole wasn't the one to see a family breaking apart and do nothing. She was decided to keep a polite conversation during dinner:  
"So Louisa, I heard you have a boyfriend in New York? Why couldn't he come?"  
To Carole's great surprise, her plans were frustrated by her own son:  
"Because he had to stay there to screw with my girlfriend..."  
Muriel was outraged:  
"I beg your pardon? Is that how your kids live nowadays or is it just the ones involved with the arts? Are all of you queers or sharing boyfriends and girlfriends?"  
Kurt had enough and couldn't keep his mouth shut even for his father's sake:  
"I don't get it, Grandma. You always knew I was gay; why did you choose to pick on me only now?"  
"Because my problem is with you shoving it down all our throats, naturally."  
Kurt looked at her in disbelief:  
"Naturally? What's natural about me hiding my true self just to please a hypocrite society?"  
Muriel snorted:  
"Finding a job and way of sustaining you and your family!"  
"Excuse me, but being gay isn't a disease. I'm perfectly able of finding a job and sustaining the family I'll start with Blaine. I think I'll take my cousin's cue and sing you my feelings."  
Kurt got up but wasn't as theatrical as Louisa when he began to sing La Cage Aux Folles' I Am What I Am.

I am what I am  
I am my own special creation  
So come take a look  
Give me the hook or the ovation

It's my world that I want to take a little pride in  
My world and it's not a place I have to hide in  
Life's not worth a damn  
Till you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am"

I am what I am  
I don't want praise, I don't want pity  
I bang my own drum  
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty

And so what, if I love each feather and each spangle  
Why not try and see things from a different angle?  
Your life is a sham till you can shout out loud  
I am what I am

I am what I am  
And what I am needs no excuses  
I deal my own deck  
Sometimes the ace  
Sometimes the deuces

However, the song would finish in a golden-pants worth performance and dance number.

There's one life  
And there's no return and no deposit  
One life, so it's time to open up your closet  
Life's not worth a damn till you can say  
"Hey world, I am what I am"

By the end of it; Muriel just got up and took her bedroom direction. No one argued  
when Louisa got up and followed her.

xXxXx

Louisa knocked lightly on the door:  
"Grandma; can I come in?"  
As she received no answer, she entered anyway. Muriel was sat on the bed and wiping her tears away in a handkerchief. Louisa sat at the bed too. They weren't facing each other when Muriel began to talk:  
"Why are you throwing all your rage at me?"  
Louisa snorted.  
"You really can't tell why? After being so obnoxious to us since we arrived? No one messes with the Hummels. Especially not another Hummel."  
Muriel had a real question she posed Louisa:  
"Can you tell me how was I obnoxious?"  
Louisa rolled her eyes but decided to go on with her plan of having an honest conversation with her grandmother:  
"Do you mean besides forcing me to see my father and throwing all kinds of prejudices towards Kurt and Blaine?"  
Muriel used a humble tune to ask the next question:  
"What did I do that you saw as a prejudice towards Kurt and his boyfriend? I know Kurt is gay for a long time now..."  
Louisa judged it must be hard on her grandmother to be facing all her ghosts at once. That was what kept her calm and kind:  
"Grandma, I must say everything you did until now. You assumed Blaine couldn't be religious because he was gay and it didn't even cross your mind to ask Finn the same question. You said he and Kurt won't get jobs for being open about their relationship. Basically; you were telling that everyone who doesn't live by your rules is wrong."  
Muriel sobbed getting Louisa by surprise:  
"I just want the two of you to be the best you can be; to reach the highest you can reach."  
Louisa passed her arm around the other woman and pulled her grandma closer:  
"You know, Grandma, your little boy is still there behind those kind blue eyes. As I'm still your little girl behind my walls of insecurities. I know it was hard for you giving up on your dream, but maybe helping us pursue ours can make you feel better. No one messes with the Hummels, right?"  
Muriel chuckled in the girl's embrace. She moved a little away and cupped Louisa's face in her hand:  
"You turned into such a pretty young lady; you look just like your mother. I can see you achieving great things. You could start by helping me in a much needed apology."  
Louisa smiled and took the hand Muriel was extending her. They walked together to the living room where Muriel cleared her throat to get everyone's attention:  
"I guess I have some apologies to make and I'd like to start with my handsome   
Grandson. Kurt, can you forgive your silly old-fashioned grandmother?"  
Kurt got up with moist eyes and walked to hug her:  
"Oh Grandma; you're practically perfect in every way and I love you so much."  
She was stroking his hair as she answered:  
"I love you so much. Actually, all of you. And Blaine; do you happen to know The  
Sound of Music's theme song by heart?"  
Blaine smiled and nodded. She smiled fondly at him:  
"Great! If you could honor us by playing it on the piano; there's a family tradition we have long forgotten."  
Blaine went to the piano and all of them sat around the matriarch to join her in the song. Kurt was the one closest to her and rested his head on her shoulder. Louisa saw it and winked at Burt. He smiled, nodded towards Andrew and winked back at her. She shook her head in disbelief.

The hills are alive with the sound of music  
With songs they have sung for a thousand years  
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music

My heart wants to sing every song it hears  
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds  
That rise from the lake to the trees

My heart wants to sigh like a chime  
That flies from a church on a breeze  
To laugh like a brook when it trips

And falls over stones on its way  
To sing through the night  
Like a lark who is learning to pray

I go to the hills when my heart is lonely  
I know I will hear what I heard before  
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music  
And I'll sing once more

Burt approached his niece and captured her in a hug. He then whispered in her ear:  
"One day, kiddo. No one messes with the Hummels, right?"  
"At least I know my uncle has my back."


	9. Anyway, I'm Leaving

Having a lazy morning was a rare thing for Louisa with her job, Cassandra, NYADA and the play. She could barely believe that she'd having a morning off just after Thanksgiving. However, nice things don't come easily in life and she was woken from an amazing dream by her phone buzzing with a new message.  
She rubbed her eyes still a little drowsy and found another text message from Andrew. Without even checking what it was; she deleted it immediately and lay back down. But sleep wouldn't come back smoothly and she resignedly stayed there staring at the ceiling.  
What was her father's angle now? Did he expect that she'd come running to his arms like she used to dream while still a little girl? Did he want her to forget the sixteen years when she only knew he was alive because he deposited a feeble amount on her mother's account? He knew nothing about her; about the difficulties her mother had to raise her or her inner struggles. No; she wouldn't let him break her heart this time.  
She got up and went to the bathroom to swallow one of her pills with tap water. Looking at her reflection in the mirror she knew she had seen better days; but she immediately remembered she'd also seen worse too. With a loud sigh; she gathered all her courage and got ready for another day of battle.

xXxXx

The only evidence that Finn had gotten home the night before was his travel sac on the living room. He had told Rachel he'd arrive late but she hoped he'd join her in bed. He, however, had chosen to sleep on Kurt's former room just like when they had fought. Fine! If he wanted to play the angry boyfriend just because she'd seen Brody; she wouldn't be the one giving in.  
She was already eating her breakfast when he appeared in the kitchen with a creased face and pajamas. He yawed and stretched his arms:  
"Good morning."  
"Good morning, Finn."  
He looked at her puzzled and then sighed resting his arms on the isle:  
"Are you mad that I slept in the other room?"  
"Maybe..."  
He sighed again:  
"Rachel, I just figured out that we had some things to talk about and I didn't want to do that at two in the morning."  
"Don't I get a say in this too?"  
He hid his head in his hands in despair:  
"I'm getting tired of us fighting all the time."  
"And I'm getting tired of our problems never being solved!"  
"Are you talking about Louisa?"  
Finn's sudden burst made Rachel self-conscientious and she answered in a small voice:  
"And Brody too..."  
"At least you admit it."  
It was her time to take a deep breath. She slowly walked closer to him and took his hands:  
"Why are we so confused? We used to be so sure about our love; we got this close to marrying, for God's sake!"  
Finn chuckled:  
"We have to admit that it was a little rushed of us."  
She smiled back:  
"I feel like I love you the same way I loved you back then; if not more. However, I'm not that girl anymore..."  
"And I'm not the high school football captain and the Glee club leader anymore. I feel like life has killed all my silly dreams."  
She stroked his hair affectionately:  
"Yes; all your silly dreams are gone; but that's just to make room for the mature ones."  
He looked down, held both her elbows, and whispered:  
"The question is if the new us can be together."  
She got lose from his grip and went to arrange her bag while whipping away a tear. He said nothing but she could feel his eyes focused on her all the time. None knew exactly how much time had passed until she turned in a sudden with her face swollen from crying:  
"Is this the end for us?"  
He quickly closed the distance between them and held her in his arms:  
"I don't want it to be."  
They stood in silence just feeling each other's presence. A sob would come from her from time to time, which would make Finn kiss the top of her head. She could feel the moist of a tear in her head each time he did that.  
They stood silent for a long time; but when Rachel spoke, it was like Finn's words were still on the air:  
"Me neither; but you must agree we should change something. This is getting ridiculous and unbearable."  
"What do you suggest that we do?"  
She immediately eyed the sound system and glared Finn with a mischievous look. He gave her a half-smile and joined her near the system. She handled him a microphone and hit play to The Phantom of the Opera's Point of No Return.

Phantom:  
Past the point of no return, no backward glances  
Our games of make-believe are at an end  
Past all thought of if or when, no use resisting  
Abandon thought and let the dream descend

What raging fire shall flood the soul?  
What rich desire unlocks it's door?  
What sweet seduction lies before us?

Past the point of no return, the final threshold  
What warm unspoken secrets will we learn?  
Beyond the point of no return

If anyone were watching; he'd call their performance sensual and passionate.

Christine:  
You have brought me  
To that moment where words run dry  
To that moment where speech disappears  
Into silence, silence

I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why  
In my mind I've already imagined  
Our bodies entwining defenseless and silent  
And now I am here with you  
No second thoughts  
I've decided, decided

Past the point of no return, no going back now  
Our passion play has now at last begun  
Past all thought of right or wrong, one final question  
How long should we to wait, before we're one?

When will the blood begin to race?  
The sleeping bud burst into bloom?  
When will the flames at last consume us?

Neither of them was ready to let go but they both knew that love alone wouldn't hold them together.

Both:  
Past the point of no return, the final threshold  
The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn  
We've passed the point of no return

Phantom:  
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime  
Lead me, save me from my solitude  
Say you want me with you here beside you  
Anywhere you go let me go too Christine, that's all I ask of...

By the end of it, Finn pulled Rachel closer and captured her lips into an intense kiss. When they broke apart, she exclaimed:  
"By the end of the week we'll have find our way for better or for worse."  
"Agreed."

xXxXx

It was a fine morning in New York City and Kurt was especially glad to be able to parade his newest scarf that was knitted by Grandma Hummel. Blaine was walking by his side wearing his goofy smile that Kurt knew meant he was happy about them and their relationship. Fondly, Kurt took his hand and intertwined their fingers.  
They hadn't been able to walk ten steps when the treacherous words hit them from behind:  
"Fags! You'll burn in hell, you know that?"  
Kurt was a little tormented but he felt Blaine's firm hand around his waist and pulling him closer. Before he knew it, they were inside Coffee'N'Stuff and he was oddly happy that neither Louisa nor Maggie were working yet.  
He took a table while Blaine went to the counter to get their order. He placed the Mocha in front of Kurt and their hands rubbed together for more than necessary. Sitting down, Blaine actually took his hand:  
"Are you okay?"  
"How can I be okay about something as monstrous as it was?"  
Blaine pursed his lips before answering:  
"I know it was horrible; but we kind of got used to it by now. I'm wondering how you took it today."  
Kurt snorted and gave him a smile:  
"It's never good to hear that kind of words. I didn't take it to heart but it got me by surprise; we aren't as harassed here as we were in Ohio so I forgot about it."  
Blaine pulled his hand up and kissed its palm:  
"It's good to know you don't keep mulling the dark passages of our past. Prejudice is just ignorance and one day equality will come."  
Kurt smiled proud of his dreamer boyfriend. Blaine smiled back and it remembered Kurt how wonderful it was to know they were there to protect each other. As Blaine kept playing with his fingers, he was reminded of when he couldn't protect Blaine. He took the boys hand and guided it closer to him:  
"Can we talk about prejudice?"  
"Sure; what about it?"  
Kurt sighed and started tracing patterns on the inside of Blaine's wrist:  
"I'm so glad that you want to take care of me. But I also feel like I have failed you last week."  
Blaine looked back at him confused:  
"How so?"  
"When I let my grandmother say all those awful things about you; about us."  
Blaine chuckled and reached for the tip of his boyfriend's scarf:  
"I thought we had cleared all things out with Grandma Hummel before leaving New Hampshire."  
Kurt smirked at him:  
"No hard feelings, then?"  
Blaine grinned back:  
"None at all."

xXxXx

Brody couldn't resist the opportunity when he saw Louisa distractedly reading a book at one of NYADA's halls. He sneaked closer and covered both of her eyes with his hands from behind:  
"Guess who."  
"Brody, obviously."  
She kindly removed his hands and turned to him smiling. He caressed her chin:  
"What gave me away, pookie?"  
"Your voice."  
"Damn it; I thought you had developed a system of sensing my animal magnetism."  
She rolled her eyes in a very Hummel way that he now found very cute. He rewarded her with a gentle kiss on her lips. She kissed him back and welcomed him with a hand delicately scratching his neck. They broke apart and he grinned at her:  
"How was your weekend?"  
"In the end, it turned out fine. Yours, I heard, was quite busy."  
He scratched his own neck nervously and tried to hide his guilty away:  
"You've heard about me and Rachel, then?"  
"Finn was pretty mad and pretty vocal about it."  
She seemed weirdly calm for this situation and he didn't know how to react. Tentatively, he took her hand:  
"How about you? Were you... are you mad?"  
She took a deep breath and placed her other hand on top of his:  
"I won't deny I didn't like hearing about it. The worst part was imaging that you declined my invitation to stay alone with her in New York."  
"No, no. I didn't even know she was going to stay in the city. I had... well, other reasons."  
"Reasons I'll never know about, right?"  
He smirked and kissed her cheek:  
"That's why we get along so well."  
She turned to him with a serious face:  
"But that's too thin to me."  
"What do you mean?"  
She looked away flushing:  
"Listen Brody; it's not that I don't like or that I don't trust you. In fact, if I didn't trust you, we wouldn't be dating. It's just that we had only happy light times and this got me thinking; how serious are we about each other?"  
"As serious as we want to be..."  
She chuckled but not seemed amused:  
"That's what I'm talking about; this doesn't solve things out. I don't want to pressure you or anything; I'm genuinely just curious..."  
"I haven't seen anyone else but you."  
She smirked:  
"I'll guess from that, my slippery boyfriend, that we are exclusives then?"  
"Of course! I guessed we had got this cleared."  
"As you can see; I was still confused. So, no other girls since me. However, Rachel is a completely other deal?"  
He found it funny her way of trying to settle things up between them; she really was one of a kind. He smirked and began to play with a hank of her hair:  
"Yes, she is. Do you want to talk about Finn?"  
She bit her lips in a provocative yet culprit way:  
"Fine; you won. This closes the case for today."  
He chuckled and stole a kiss from her lips.

xXxXx

It was a busy day at Vogue when Kurt phone began to ring with an unknown number.  
"Hello?"  
"Kurt? This is Maggie Cooper; do you have a minute?"  
He looked around to confirm the last thing he had was a minute; but for Maggie to be calling him, it should be something important:  
"Sure. Is something wrong?"  
"Yes and no. It's Louisa; I've been worried about her."  
Hearing that someone was worried about his cousin automatically turned on an alarm inside his head. He sat down to give Maggie his full attention:  
"What about her?"  
"She's been acting weirdly: there are nights she doesn't sleep at all; others where she wakes up screaming from nasty nightmares and others where she sleeps until past noon and nothing can wake her. Not to mention she gets all jumpy whenever her phone rings..."  
"Right... Have you talked to her?"  
"I tried. She only says she's tired from working too much."  
Kurt could read through that that Louisa didn't want to share her secret with Maggie; at least not yet. He didn't want to betray his cousin, but he knew her roommate could be a great ally:  
"Thank you so much for telling me that, Maggie. I know how much you care about her now."  
"Of course; I like Lou like a sister."  
He smiled hearing that:  
"She always speaks very nicely about you. About this problem, I'll try talking to her without telling you were the one who told me something was wrong. Meanwhile, if you could keep an eye out and call me whenever something different happens."  
"Sure. Will do."  
"I could never thank you enough, Maggie. See you at school."  
"Bye."  
He hung up the phone and stood a few minutes staring blankly at the wall: apparently, the weekend at Grandma Hummel's had other consequences he had not anticipated.

xXxXx

Finn ran down the hallway to surprise Rachel just as she was leaving her classroom. However, if she hadn't literally bumped into him; she wouldn't have seen him standing there.  
"Finn! What are you doing here?"  
"I thought I could surprise you and invite you to have lunch with me."  
"That's so sweet of you; but I have an audition now."  
"Can I watch it?"  
Rachel made a scrunchy uncomfortable face:  
"I don't think you'd like it. Brody is involved..."  
"Would I sound too jealous if I went with you? It's just that I was really looking forward to spending time with you."  
"Sure. Let's go then."  
When they arrived at the place where it would be held; they were surprised by an equally puzzled Louisa:  
"Rachel! Finn! What are you guys doing here?"  
Finn was measuring Rachel's reactions as she answered:  
"Hasn't Brody told you? He wants me to be Maggie's stand-in."  
Louisa turned with a sarcastic smile to her boyfriend:  
"He hasn't told me anything, right darling?"  
Brody was stuttering speechless and Louisa rolled her eyes at him:  
"How could you do that without telling anyone on the cast? Does Maggie at least know it?"  
Brody went to defend himself:  
"It was Maggie who told me she might need to travel to Texas at any time because of her sick grandfather."  
Louisa was still staring at him perplexed:  
"It wouldn't take that long if she had to go. Well, if you rather have a stand-in then let's go ahead. If it's not a secret; you wouldn't mind if Finn and I went to watch it, right?"  
Without really knowing what was going on, Finn found himself being dragged inside a rehearsal room where Louisa was already adjusting herself behind the light table. A spotlight was turned on the stage and Louisa kept signaling Rachel to take it. Brody entered last in the room and tried to calm the moods:  
"Lou, pookie; we don't need to do things like that..."  
The look in Louisa's face showed that she wouldn't take a dare lightly:  
"Is there a problem if Rachel sings us one of Diana's songs? Isn't that why she's here?"  
Rachel seemed intimidated; that was a first for Finn. She was almost apologizing to the other girl:  
"I don't want to steel anyone's spot. I thought Maggie really needed a stand-in. I'm busy too. I have my own play that will start rehearsals soon; I was just trying to help..."  
Louisa got down from behind the table. Her face was a mixt of anger, pain and determination:  
"Fine then; I'll do it."  
Brody tried arguing:  
"But pookie; you're already Natalie."  
She just looked at him and he got quiet and sat down to watch. Rachel and Finn decided it was best to do the same.  
Louisa got up on the stage and turned on a microphone. She hit play on the sound system that started to play the base for So Anyway, from Next to Normal. In that moment, Finn couldn't recognize Louisa on the stage anymore: she was Diana Goodman. He didn't know much about the play; but he knew this part was about a mother dealing with her own pain. Even not knowing what was hurting Louisa, Finn could see she knew pain very well.

So anyway I'm leaving  
I thought you'd like to know  
You faithful come-what-may  
But clearly I can't stay  
We'd both go mad that way  
So here I go  
And anyway I'm leaving  
I guess that you can see  
I'll try this on my own  
A life I've never known  
I'll face the dread alone  
But I'll be free

With you always beside me  
To catch me when I fall  
I'd never get to know the feel  
Of solid ground at all  
With you always believing  
That we can still come through  
It makes me feel the fool  
To know that it's not true

Near the end of the song, she walked towards Brody and sang looking straight into his eyes. Finn could tell that things between them weren't as smooth as he first thought. However, there was a spark there just waiting to catch fire.

What doctors call dysfunction  
We tried to call romance  
And true it's quite a trick  
To tell the dancers from the dance  
But rather than let chance take me  
I'll take a chance  
I'll take a chance on leaving  
It's that or stay and die  
I loved you once and though  
You love me still I know  
It's time for me to fly  
I loved you once and though  
I love you still I know  
It's time for me to go  
And so, goodbye

Louisa finished the song and turned off the microphone. She lowered until she was at Brody's eyes level. Even if the microphone was off, Finn and Rachel couldn't help but overhearing what she was saying for him in a cracked voice that didn't match her fierce exterior:  
"I'm going. This is a decision I've been avoiding for a long time but I don't think I can handle it anymore: I'm going back to Brazil."  
I didn't seem like a subject they had discussed a lot earlier, because Brody was as awestruck as the rest of them as she got up and walked out of the room.

xXxXx

Kurt knocked on the door and waited for an answer before letting him and Blaine inside the girl's room. Louisa smiled when she saw it was them and placed what she was holding in the trunk before running to hug him:  
"The worse part about leaving is not seeing you every day anymore, pumpkin."  
"Then don't go..."  
Kurt knew he must look like a child pouting and begging her to stay: she was wearing her proud-mama smile. He heard Blaine's feeble voice from behind him as he felt the boy's warm hand in his shoulder:  
"You really should think this twice, Lou. NYADA is the best school in the world for what you want to do of your life."  
She turned to him smirking:  
"Should I take from it that you'll miss me, Bowtie?"  
"Of course I will, my favorite Carmen Miranda."  
If Kurt had been holding his tears, the sight of Louisa and Blaine's emotional hug was it for him. They both let go of each other to come comfort him. He took one hand of each in his:  
"I like having my New York family around me... Tell me what it is, boo. We can help. We might change your medication; search professional help for you here... Stay, please! It will be better for all of us."  
She looked at him with her dark-brown eyes wide with kindness. She gently stroked his hair and kissed his cheek:  
"I have professional help here; I'm not irresponsible. It's just that maybe I'm not fit for New York's lifestyle; it's all too much around here."  
Blaine took her free hand:  
"We know it's challenging; but you're a tough girl. And we are by your side; no matter what."  
She smiled coyly:  
"Thank you, both of you, for everything. I wouldn't have got this far without you. But I have to accept that my dream is too big for my limitations."  
Blaine tried again:  
"Can we at least have a send-off?"  
"I'm sorry; my flight is already booked and I don't have much time."  
Kurt's voice caught their attention:  
"You're wrong, boo. You're more than you think. You can achieve much more than what you are settling for. Is it that bastard Brody? I can go all 'No one messes with the Hummels' on him."  
She shook her head:  
"It's everything. Maybe mostly my father. No; it's mostly me..."  
Kurt determinately got up and plugged his iPhone to her microsystem. The first notes of Godspell's By My Side began to play and he turned to face the other two with tears running down his cheeks. He began to harmonize with the song staring at his cousin with a face that reflected his broken-heart.

Where are you going?  
Where are you going?  
Can you take me with you?  
For my hand is cold  
And needs warmth  
Where are you going?

Far beyond where the horizon lies  
Where the horizon lies  
And the land sinks into mellow blueness  
Oh please, take me with you

Let me skip the road with you  
I can dare myself  
I can dare myself  
I'll put a pebble in my shoe  
And watch me walk   
I can walk and walk!

She was reduced to tears as well and Blaine just looked from one to another not knowing whom to help. Eventually, Blaine joined his boyfriend to sing the chorus.

I shall call the pebble Dare  
I shall call the pebble Dare  
We will talk, we will talk together  
We will talk about walking  
Dare shall be carried  
And when we both have had enough  
I will take him from my shoe, singing:  
"Meet your new road!"   
Then I'll take your hand  
Finally glad   
Finally glad  
That you are here  
By my side

By my side  
By my side  
By my side

By the end of it, Louisa was bent over herself on the floor crying and Kurt was hugging every part of her he could reach. She spoke first:  
"I have to go, Kurt. I can't handle this anymore; it's killing me."  
He looked at her from behind the curtain of his tears:  
"Damn you and your Hummel stubbornness."  
She chuckled briefly and went back to his embrace. Blaine got near and hugged both of them at the same time. A lot of tears were spread that evening.

xXxXx

Wednesday was an off day for Callbacks. It was when Blaine liked to have Kurt over because he could give him proper attention. That night, they were joined by a happy couple of Finn and Rachel that didn't actually matched their blueness.   
They were all sitting together in one table when the door opened revealing Brody. Kurt sat up tight:  
"What is he doing here?"  
Blaine placed a peaceful hand on his shoulder:  
"I invited him; he's upset about Louisa's departure as much as we are."  
"Not if he's to blame about it!"  
Blaine would start to argue with his boyfriend when Brody spoke:  
"I get that you don't like me, Kurt; you have plenty of reasons for that. But I like your cousin; I really do."  
Kurt looked away from him with pursed lips that Blaine knew meant trouble. He shared a glance with Finn who also was uncomfortable with the tension in the air. Blaine got up and went to the counter:  
"Do you want anything, Brody?"  
"I'm fine."  
The tension still filled the air and Blaine stood frozen not sure of what to do. Finn stood up in a sudden, clapping his hands:  
"I have a perfect idea; why don't we sing? Isn't this a karaoke bar?"  
Kurt looked at him with a long face:  
"I don't think anyone is in the mood for a performance..."  
Blaine caught Finn's cue:  
"What if we did it as a choir? We can sing Drink With Me from Les Mis."  
As no one answered, Blaine took that as a yes and went to the piano.

Enjolras:  
Drink with me to days gone by  
To the life...

Gavroche:  
To the life...

Enjolras:  
...That used...

Gavroche:  
...That used...

Enjolras:  
...To be!

Gavroche:  
...To be!

Slowly, everyone joined him singing. Everyone but Brody who stood quietly on a corner.

All:  
At the shrine of friendship, never say die  
Let the wine of friendship never run dry  
Here's to you...

Gavroche:  
Here's to you...

Others:  
...And here's...

Gavroche:  
...And here's...

All:  
To me.

Blaine chose the movie version that was shorter and talked about love more than revolution. To everyone's surprise, Brody got up and began to sing Marius solo when time came. He only changed Cosete to Louisa.

Marius:  
Do I care if I should die  
Now she goes across the sea?  
Life without Louisa  
Means nothing at all.  
Would you weep, Louisa,  
If I were to fall?  
Will you weep, Louisa,  
For me?

Kurt didn't seem moved but it sure got Blaine's heart. Particularly when the song ended and Brody was crying.   
Without a second thought, Blaine threw a key in Brody's direction. He looked at the small boy astonished:  
"What's that?"  
"The key to ours delivery car that's parked outside. Employers can use it on emergencies and this is one."  
Kurt looked at him puzzled:  
"Where are we going?"  
Blaine smirked triumphantly:  
"To the airport, of course."

xXxXx

All the announcements and people walking everywhere were the things that made Louisa nervous about airports. But she had made her mind and she was sure this was the best thing to be done. Standing in the check-in queue, she was slapping a rubber band against her wrist in an attempt to keep her mind in control.  
She must have lost it at some point because she began to hear a familiar voice singing John Legend's Ordinary People from a distance.

Girl, I'm in love with you  
This ain't the honeymoon  
Passed the infatuation phase  
Right in the thick of love  
At times we get sick of love  
Seems like we argue everyday

She concentrated harder in the rubber-band and in her red converses tapping the floor but Brody's voice grew clear and clear.

I know I misbehaved and you made your mistakes  
And we both still got room left to grow  
And though love sometimes hurts  
I still put you first  
And we'll make this thing work but I think maybe we should take it slow

When she finally turned around, she really saw him walking closer to her and singing the melody.

We're just ordinary people  
We don't know which way to go  
Cause we're ordinary people  
Maybe we should take it slow  
Take it slow, ohh  
This time we'll take it slow  
Take it slow, ohh  
This time we'll take it slow

The thing telling her it wasn't some kind of dream or delusion of hers was the fact that the boy was closely followed by a grinning Blaine and a sloppy Kurt dressed in a NYADA's hoodie.

This ain't a movie love  
No fairytale conclusion y'all  
It gets more confusing everyda

Sometimes it's heaven sent  
Then we head back to hell again  
We kiss then we make up on the way

Brody's smile grew wider as he got closer to her and she began to blush brightly.

I hang up, you call  
We rise and we fall  
And we feel like just walking away  
As our love advances we take second chances  
Though it's not a fantasy I still want you to stay

He finally reached her and grabbed her hand.

We're just ordinary people  
We don't know which way to go  
Cause we're ordinary people  
Maybe we should take it slow  
Take it slow, ohh  
This time we'll take it slow  
Take it slow, ohh  
This time we'll take it slow

She stared back at him with bright eyes as he finished the song

Take it slow  
Maybe we'll live and learn  
Maybe we'll crash and burn  
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave  
maybe you'll return  
Maybe another fight  
Maybe we won't survive  
But maybe we'll grow  
We never know   
Maybe you and I

We're just ordinary people  
. We don't know which way to go  
Cause we're ordinary people  
Maybe we should take it slow

They stood a while blinking quietly to each other. Brody took a deep breath and raised his eyebrows:  
"So?"  
She blinked a few more times confused. She first saw the two boys smiling at them from a distance for then to focus on the boy on his knees at her foot.  
"Do you love me? Was that what the song was about?"  
He exhaled and smiled goofily:  
"That's what you got from us driving all the way to the airport for you. Well, I guess girl will be girls, right? But yes; I just figured it out."  
"Oh Brody..."  
Thank goodness he was quick and got her as she jumped on him. He warmly welcomed her kiss and pulled her closer by her waist. Still in his arms, she smiled at him:  
"It was good to hear it before I left."  
He stared at her in disbelief and grabbed a strap of her suitcase:  
"You're not going."  
"Brody, don't do that; please. There are more things than just you and me. And although I like being us, I must go now."  
He looked at her again outraged:  
"You're right; there are more things... There are your dreams! That's why I can't possibly let you go. I get it that you're not ready to say 'I love you' back; but I meant it with the song: this time we'll take it slow. Give us a chance: stay; please!"  
Their raised voices attracted Blaine and Kurt near them. She was looking from Kurt's upset face to the NYADA's logo on his hoodie. Blaine was smiling feebly and Brody still held her hand. She looked around and saw some Broadway production's posters around them; it was her dream after all. And if these people were the ones to support her; maybe she could try it for a little longer.  
She whipped a tear away and turned to Brody:  
"You're right; maybe if we take it slow, I can do it. I'll try one step at a time."  
He grinned, grabbed her by the waist and started spinning her around. The second he put her down; Kurt tackled her into a tight hug with tears staining her sweater. Blaine got closer and messed with her hair:  
"It's good that you're staying; someone needs to give me a reality check."  
She poked her tongue at him:  
"Reality check number 1: never let my cousin go out in his hoodies again. It's outrageous to see fashion icon Hummel this sloppy."  
Kurt pouted:  
"I was feeling blue!"  
They all laughed and Brody joined them again after retrieving her luggage. She smiled at him and took his free hand:  
"Was this an intervention?"  
He grinned:  
"It turns out that Blaine is a romantic at heart."  
Blaine complained:  
"Hey! I did it because I couldn't stand Kurt whining anymore."  
Kurt rolled his eyes:  
"One day the two of you will admit you love each other and I'll be the happiest man on Earth."  
Louisa smiled fondly at him  
"What would families be like without the teasing?"  
They were laughing and walking away when Brody purposely delayed him and Louisa. He turned to her:  
"Are you fine with all this?"  
She smirked and passed her arms around his neck:  
"Small bites I can take. But you, sir; you'll be bad for business."


	10. And It's Beginning to Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A Rented Christmas)

Louisa lazily opened her eyes and stretched feeling her back a little sore. She began to take the room she was in and remembered she hadn't sleep in her bed. She was cranked over Brody and that was what was making her back ache. Careful not to wake the sleeping boy; she stepped outside the bed and got dressed in his t-shirt before entering the bathroom.

Once in there; she saw her reflection and smiled at the stranger smiling back at her. So much had change in her life since moving to New York; her reflection was finally starting to show it. Not that she had changed her weight or gotten a new haircut; but something in her skin had a different texture. She blushed at the thought and found that even her blushing wasn't the same. Being in a boy's room - not any boy, her boyfriend's room - was something completely alien for her.

She brushed her teeth and was splashing some water in her face when she heard a voice right behind her:

"You look good in the morning, Ms. Hummel."

She smiled at him from the mirror which made Brody walk closer and hug her waist from behind and kiss her neck. She teased:

"Already miss me?"

"The bed is too cold without you there."

They walked back to the room and she opened the shutter while he lay back and opened his arms in a welcoming gesture. With a grin, Louisa ran towards him and let herself be cuddled. Brody's breathing tickled her neck.

"I'm so glad my roommate is away during the Holidays and you could stay over."

She giggled and grabbed his hand to play with his fingers:

"What about your Holiday plans? Why you never leave town to visit your family?"

"Not many family to visit... Not that I care about that anymore. Besides, if you're staying; why would I leave?"

"I wish I could go visit my mother in Brazil; but there's no money this year neither for me to fly there or for her to fly here. At least, Uncle Burt is coming to visit Kurt and I get to spend my Christmas Eve with family. You'd be very welcome, if you want to join us. No pressure; though."

He pulled her closer and hid his nose even further in her neck:

"You know you can be irresistible in the morning? Ok; I'll go. But I have one condition."

She turned grinning to him and cupped his face with her hands:

"What's it?"

"You'll stay with me while Kurt and Blaine are sleeping at your place. Please! We don't know when Teddy will travel again..."

Her smile grew wider and she answered him with a passionate kiss to his lips. He then spooned her one more time and closed his eyes to go back to sleep, while she began to stare outside the window. She commented absented-mindedly:

"It's beginning to snow."

"And?"

"I haven't seen snow in a long time. I've only seen it in the winters I came to spend with my father."

"Maybe we should celebrate it with a snow-fight."

She got up in a jump and began to look around the floor for her clothes. He hid his head on the pillows still lazy:

"Later! I mean later. Look at the time; it's way too early to get up."

She pouted but got back in bed with him. He was quickly back asleep but her head was now filled with long gone winters and the outrageous number of unanswered calls and texts from her father in her phone.

xXxXx

Rachel grabbed Finn's hand once more and flashed him her enormous smile again:

"I really can't put it into words how happy I am that we're spending the Holidays together."

He smiled at her and kissed her in response. She knew Finn wasn't bothered by her monologue since she had promised him breakfast; so she continued talking:

"And thank you again for coming with me to NYADA to grab the book I forgot on my locker. As promised, you'll be rewarded with breakfast at Coffee'N'Stuff as you love."

He chuckled at her:

"You know I'm not doing it for the food, right? I don't mind getting the train with you so that you aren't alone. Besides, maybe we could stay for a while and enjoy Manhattan. Your fathers will like the time to rest from their journey."

She grinned at him:

"I also could never thank you enough for being okay with my dads spending the Holidays at our place. This will be the best Hanukkah/Christmas ever."

"I'm sure we'll have many Holidays ahead of us to spend with family."

His smirk slowly turned into something serious as he closed the distance between then. Rachel gladly welcomed his lips thinking the morning couldn't get better.

They were walking towards her locker when they saw Brody and Louisa walking hand-in-hand; coming from the direction of the dorms. Rachel hid behind a column, dragging Finn with her:

"Oh My God! Wasn't Louisa wearing exactly that last night? Have they slept together?"

"It's none of our business, right?"

Rachel nodded but she could tell his eyes were lingering on her face too tensely for Finn to be casual about that.

xXxXx

Kurt ran and threw himself at his father at the airport. Blaine smiled from a distance and went to help Carole with her bag:

"Did you have a good flight?"

She smiled fondly as she hugged the boy:

"It would have been wonderful if Burt didn't get so fidgety on his sit."

Burt came to hug Blaine while Kurt said hi to his step-mother.

"I would be still if the economic class seats weren't so damn small."

Carole still smiled to Kurt as if he was her own son while she held Blaine's hand:

"It's so kind of you to give us your house while we are here."

Blaine smiled politely:

"It's nothing at all. Louisa is lending us her bedroom and, from what we talked earlier, she's got a very good place to stay."

Carole looked shocked:

"Dear Louisa is moving out of her place just for us to sleep in your place? Burt, we should go looking for a hotel."

Kurt grabbed her shoulders in a playful way:

"Oh no, no, no. I put a lot of effort into preparing our place for you two and I won't take no for an answer. Louisa first offered to stay on her couch or to sleep with Maggie while we were there. I was still disputing that with her when she told me her boyfriend invited her over for the Holidays. This means she's more than glad to move away for a couple of days."

Burt chuckled:

"So Booisa is in a serious relationship now? That's wonderful news!"

Kurt frowned:

"I'm not so sure he's the right guy for her."

Blaine sighed:

"You're just jealous, gorgeous. No one will ever be good enough for your boo. But Brody proved himself when he confessed his love for her and came after her in the airport..."

Burt interrupted confused:

"Why was she at the airport? Kurt, I want to be informed about the important things about my niece. You know I like her as a daughter, don't you?"

Kurt rolled his eyes in a childish way:

"I know, dad; and I love her like a sister. I can take care of her and help her with her disease; don't worry. But I'll tell you the whole story in the car."

xXxXx

Finn rushed in Callbacks and leaned over the counter to speak with an employee:

"Hi, is Blaine there? He's supposed to have something to hand me."

The boy behind the counter shrugged:

"Sorry man; his shift has already begun but he changed it because of some family business. He might be arriving anytime soon; why don't you wait?"

Finn looked around for a good table and he then saw Brody having lunch on a table very close to him. The boy seemed like he'd already seen Finn was there.

"I'll call him and maybe I'll come back later."

Finn had turned and was walking towards the door when he heard Brody calling him:

"You don't need to leave on my behalf."

Finn exhaled to calm himself and walked towards Brody's table, where he stopped with his both hands holding it:

"I better leave now because my only wish is to punch you in the face."

Brody raised his hand in a peaceful gesture:

"Calm down; I know I deserve all of it but I thought we could talk..."

Finn looked to the side and smirked ironically. Brody kept looking at him hopeful and Finn saw he wouldn't give up:

"Fine! But one step out of the line and my fist in in your face."

"That's fair; but since I'm dating Louisa and she's kind of your family, I thought we could arrange some kind of truce."

Finn pulled a chair but sat as far from the table as possible:

"I'm worried about her too. As you pointed out, she's part of my family..."

"That and the fact that you have feelings for her."

Finn got fed up and stood up. To his surprise, Brody got up too:

"I thought we agreed on being sincere. Are you running from me or from the truth?"

Finn stared at him and sat back down. Brody sat too but kept his eyes locked on Finn's:

"Full disclosure here: you know I still have feelings for Rachel and everybody knows Louisa moves you."

Finn ordered a drink and then turned back to Brody, who was still staring at him. He sighed and gave up:

"Ok, full disclosure. But whatever we talk here stays here, right?"

Brody just nodded and Finn went on:

"I know she's supposed to be my cousin and that she's your girlfriend; but she's hot. I mean; it's all too exotic and a guy gets thoughts..."

Brody smirked:

"That's how it started for me too, bro."

Finn frowned a little at the 'bro' but kept going anyway:

"It's nothing; it's just an infatuation. It's doesn't matter anyway; I love Rachel and I'd do anything to be with her. Your turn now."

Brody sipped his drink and flashed that annoying half-smirk of his before answering:

"I won't deny I have unsolved feelings for your girlfriend too. And we both know she's not indifferent to me. But I respect she has chosen you; I always did. However, you can't blame me for going running to her door the minute you guys break up..."

"Doesn't that make you a perfect ass-hole? What about Louisa?"

Brody took a deep breath:

"You may not believe me; but I really like Louisa. When she said she'd be going back to Brazil and I thought I'd never see her again; I feared. I think I love her and I told her that. Even if we aren't there yet; we care for each other and like to be together. I'm playing fair with her; I'm being completely honest."

Before Finn could answer, they were interrupted by a girl with the Callbacks apron tapping Brody's shoulder:

"Brody; I'm glad you are here. Can I ask you a favor? Our microphones are getting weird when we turn them in the duet mode. Could you see that for me? Your friend could sing something with you..."

"Sure Madeleine; but I don't think my friend..."

Finn got up in a sudden:

"Why not, Brody? I particularly feel like singing today."

With a suspicious look, Brody got up and went to check the sound system. He told Finn to grab a microphone while he chose a song and Tango Maureen from Rent started playing in the room. He signaled Finn to start singing Joanne's part and he followed as Mark. The lyrics were perfect for their little confrontation about the girls and, slowly, it turned into one of the most passionate performances Callbacks had ever seen.

Joanne:

The samples won't delay

But the cable -

Mark:

There's another way

Say something - Anything

Joanne:

Test - One, two, three...

Mark:

Anything but that

Joanne:

This is weird

Mark:

It's weird

Joanne:

Very weird

Mark:

Fuckin' weird

Joanne:

I'm so mad

That I don't know what to do

Fighting with microphones

Freezing down to my bones

And to top it all off

I'm with you

Mark:

Feel like going insane?

Got a fire in your brain?

And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

Joanne:

As a matter of fact --

Mark:

Honey, I know this act

It's called the 'Tango Maureen'

The 'Tango Maureen'

It's a dark, dizzy

Merry-go-round

As she keeps you dangling

Your heart she is mangling

And you toss and you turn

'Cause her cold eyes can burn

Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

Joanne:

I think I know what you mean

Both:

The 'Tango Maureen'

Mark:

Has she ever

Pouted her lips

And called you 'pookie'

Joanne:

Never

Mark:

Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

Joanne:

This is spooky

Did you swoon

When she walked through the door?

Mark:

Every time - So be cautious

Joanne:

Did she moon over other boys-?

Mark:

More than moon--

Joanne:

I'm getting nauseous

Joanne:

She cheated

Mark:

She cheated

Joanne:

Maureen cheated

Mark:

Fuckin' cheated

Joanne:

I'm defeated

I should give up right now

Mark:

Gotta look on the bright side

With all of your might

Joanne:

I'd fall for her still anyhow

Both:

When your dancing her dance

You don't stand a chance

Her grip of romance

Makes you fall

Mark:

So you think, 'might as well'

Joanne:

"Dance a tango to hell"

Both:

'At least I'll have tangoed at all'

The 'Tango Maureen'

Gotta dance 'til your diva is through

You pretend to believe her

Cause in the end - you can't leave her

But the end it will come

Still you have to play dumb

'Til you're glum and you bum

And turn blue

Mark:

Why do we love when she's mean?

Joanne:

And she can be so obscene

My Maureen

Both:

The 'Tango Maureen'

When they were done, the tension was so clear in the room that the other customers just kept staring at them. Madeleine started shyly to clap her hands and was soon joined by the rest of the staff and the customers. Brody and Finn kept shooting each other menacing glares.

xXxXx

"Fifth Avenue is the most magical place in the world this time of the year!"

Blaine laughed at his boyfriend's enthusiasm. He could barely believe that Kurt had convinced his father to go shopping on 5th Avenue. Carole, Finn and Louisa had decided to join them too. He caught Burt smiling seeing how Kurt's eyes where shining.

"Hey kiddo; you know we won't be able to buy anything from the expensive shops around here, ruh?"

Kurt giggled:

"I know dad; but just being here... I love New York!"

Blaine grinned and went to hold his hand. Kurt took advantage of it and pulled him to see one of the shop windows. Burt held Carole and guided her there too. Louisa saw in that an opportunity to approach Finn:

"Are you alright? You seem blue."

He returned her a feeble smile:

"Everything is fine."

She looked at him with puzzled eyes:

"You don't look like fine. But if you don't want to talk; that's okay. I just want to let you know that I'm here for you too. You're also my cousin."

She playfully bumped his shoulder and he smiled at her:

"You really are a great girl."

"Thank you; but I'm sure that's not what has been bothering you."

He raised his eyebrows but bit his lips. Her smiled died in her lips and she looked at him serious:

"Finn, you can trust me, okay? It's Rachel; isn't it? You two seem to be fighting all the time..."

He sighed:

"It is and we had more fights that I'd like lately. I don't think you're the right person to talk about this to; but my options are short and you are a great ear."

"My ear is all yours, Mister."

"The thing is: Rachel still has feelings for Brody..."

She completed his sentences:

"And he still has feelings for her. I know that; we talk about it a lot."

"Aren't you bothered by it?"

Louisa stopped and sighed. She looked at Finn straight in his eyes:

"I won't deny I get jealous from time to time. But Brody and I are taking things slow. I also have unsolved feelings and he knows that. Besides, everyone knows you and Rachel are crazy about each other. No one would mess with that."

They stayed silent just looking at each other until Kurt called them:

"Come on you two! 5th Avenue has lots of shops and I have plenty I still want to see before dinner."

The group went on with light conversations about the Holidays in a peaceful way. It was a lovely night for family bonding time. Blaine was looking at something at a distance:

"Isn't that Rachel and her dads?"

It was them and Hiram and Leroy smiled widely seeing the Hudson-Hummels. Rachel smiled coyly:

"When my dads heard that you'd be shopping in 5th Avenue tonight; there was no way to keep them home."

Hiram step forward:

"It's not only the shopping in this fabulous place; we also wanted to reinforce Rachel's invitation that you all join us for supper at Christmas Eve. We are Jews but we know pretty well it's Finn's favorite Holiday."

Carole smiled back:

"That's very sweet of you. Of course we'll be there as planned. Kurt and Louisa are helping me cook and we'll take it to supper."

After a few friendly hellos and introductions, Rachel stood by Finn and shot a disgusted look at Louisa. They went on walking and the tension was hidden in the cheerful group.

Minutes later, Louisa's phone went buzzing with a message and she asked her uncle if it was okay for Brody to join them. Burt chuckled:

"We are finally going to meet the mysterious boyfriend. Is he scared of meeting your muscular and dangerous uncle?"

She shrugged:

"Who knows?"

Brody joined them a couple of corners later. However, he didn't even have time to be awkward around Burt, because Kurt was rushing them into a big shop with 'the best scarves in town'.

From inside the store they could hear a group of carolers on the street singing Christmas Bells from Rent.

Christmas bells are ringing

Christmas bells are ringing

Christmas bells are ringing

On TV - At SAKS

(Honest living, honest living)

Can't you spare a dime or two

Here but for the grace of God go you

You'll be merry

I'll be merry

Tho merry ain't in my vocabulary

No sleighbells

No Santa Claus

No Yule log

No tinsel

No holly

No heart

No

'Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer

No room at the Holiday Inn - Oh no

And it's beginning to snow

Vendors:

Hats, bats, shoes, booze

Mountain bikes, potpourri

Leather bags, girlie mags

Forty fives, AZT

No one's buying

Feel like crying

No room at the Holiday Inn - Oh no

And it's beginning to snow

How about a fur-

In perfect shape

Owned by an MBA from uptown

I got a tweed

Broken in by a greedy

Broker who went broke

And then broke down

Soon, Blaine was joining them as Collins and Kurt sang Angel's part as he bought his boyfriend a scarf.

Collins:

You don't have to do this

Angel:

Hush your mouth, it's Christmas

Collins:

I do not deserve you, Angel

Give - Give

All you do

Is give

Give me some

Way to show

How you've touched

me so

Angel:

Kiss me - It's beginning to snow

They were soon back on the street but the song went on with Louisa singing Mark'spart, followed by Finn singing Roger's. It was beginning to snow but the Rent Christmas was alive in their spirits.

Mark:

... She said, "would you light my candle

And she put on a pout

And she wanted you

To take her out tonight?

Roger:

Right

Mark:

She got you out

Roger:

She was more than okay

But I pushed her away

It was bad - I got mad

And I had to get her out of my sight

Mark:

Wait, wait wait - you said she was sweet

Roger:

Let's go eat I'll just get fat

It's the one vice left - When you're dead meat

There - that's her

Mark:

Maureen?

Roger:

Mimi!

Mark:

Wo!

Roger:

I should go

Both:

Hey - it's beginning to snow

Hiram and Leroy were soon singing chorus and encouraging Carole and Burt to do the same. Rachel wouldn't be left out; she took Mimi's place. Brody was intimidated by Burt's presence; but he finally gave up and sang as Benny.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

Mimi

Follow the man - Follow the man

With his pockets full of the jam

Follow the man - Follow the man

Help me out, daddy

If you can

Got any D man?

Benny:

I'm cool

Mimi:

Got any C man?

Benny:

I'm cool

Mimi:

Got any X

Any smack

Any horse

Any jugie boogie boy

Any blow?

Roger:

Hey

Mimi:

Hey

Roger:

I just want to say

I'm sorry for the way -

Mimi:

Forget it

Roger:

I blew up

Can I make it up to you?

Mimi:

How?

Roger:

Dinner party?

Mimi:

That'll do

Benny:

Hey lover boy - cutie pie

You steal my client - you die

Roger:

You didn't miss me - You won't miss her

You'll never lack for customers

Carollers:

I'm willin'

I'm illin'

I gotta get my sickness off

Gotta run, gotta ride

Gotta gun, gotta hide - Gotta go

Benny:

And it's beginning to snow

Carollers:

L.L. Bean Got any C man?

Geoffrey Beene Got any D man?

Burburry zip out Got any B man?

Lining Got any Crack?

Got any X?

(Honest living -)

Roger:

She'll be dining (with us)

Carollers:

Hats, dats, bats

Mark:

I think we've met

Mimi:

That's what he said

Angel:

But she brought us together

Benny:

Which investor is coming??

Collins:

I'll take the leathe

Benny:

Your father? - Damn!

Carollers:

Christmas bells are swinging

Christmas bells are ringing

Christmas bells are singing

In my dreams - next year

Once you donate you can go

Celebrate in Tuckahoe

You'll feel cheery

I'll feel cheery

Tho' I don't really know that theory

No bathrobe

No Steuben glass

No cappucino makers

No pearls, no diamonds

No 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire'

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

No room at the Holiday Inn, Oh No -

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Jingle bells - prison cells

Fa la la la - Fa la la la

You have the right to remain

Silent night holy night

Fall on your knees oh night devine

You'll do some time

Fa la la la la

Fa la la la la

Mark & Roger:

Let's

Go

To

The lot - Maureen's performing

Mimi:

Who's Maureen?

Roger:

His ex

Mark:

But I am over her

Roger:

Let's not hold hands yet

Mimi:

Is that a warning?

ALL THREE

He/You/I

Just

Need(s)

To take it slow

I should tell you I should tell you

I should tell you I should tell you

I should tell you I...

ALL

And it's beginning to

And it's beginning to

And it's beginning to -

Snow!!!

They were applauded after their Broadway-worth performance. Some people even threw them money; which they were glad to give to the carolers. The snow was getting heavier and they went into a café to have dinner and warm up.

xXxXx

Blaine was alone in the apartment when Louisa walked in:

"Excuse me; can I come in?"

He smiled:

"Of course; it's your place after all."

"I know; but when I lent it to you the privacy was included. I just need to get a few things I forgot in my closet."

"Sure; go on. I was about to make some hot chocolate; care for some?"

"Sounds delicious; of course I'm in."

Blaine went to the kitchen to warm the milk and leave her alone in the room. He finished preparing the beverages and threw some mini marshmallows inside. He began to wonder what was taking Louisa so long. He took the mugs with him as he walked to the bedroom. She was sitting on the bed staring out of the window, with a few things set aside besides her and her phone in hand. He knocked on the doorframe to announce his presence.

He could swear she made a movement like clearing a tear, but her face showed nothing as she turned to him:

"Sorry; I should have joined you. I got distracted..."

He placed the mugs on the nightstand and sat by her side on the bed. He simply passed his arm around her and she hid her face in his shoulder sobbing:

"I'm so sorry; I shouldn't be bothering you with this."

He shushed her and rubbed her back:

"It's okay Lou; that's what friends are for. But maybe if you told me what's been bothering you, I could help."

"It's my father; I don't know how much Kurt has told you..."

He interrupted her:

"Kurt hasn't told me anything; he keeps your secrets. All I know is what I saw during Thanksgiving."

"Well, he abandoned me and my mother sixteen years ago. Now, since he knew I'm here; he has shown up unannounced at Thanksgiving and he hasn't stop calling me or texting me ever since. It was a huge part why I wanted to go back to Brazil and it's a trigger for me."

Blaine sighed:

"I don't have all the psychological background you have; but I know a thing or two about having daddy trouble. Why do you think I rather spend my Holidays with Kurt's family?"

She smiled feeble:

"That will soon be yours too."

He grinned back. He hugged her tighter and let go, walking towards her microsystem:

"If I know the Hummels - and I think I do - there's just one thing that can cheer you guys up."

He shuffled through his iPod and hit play. It began playing What You Own from Rent and he sang along with Mark.

Mark:

Don't breathe too deep

Don't think all day

Dive into work

Drive the other way

That drip of hurt

That pint of shame

Goes away

Just play the game

You're living in America

At the end of the millennium

You're living in America

Leave your conscience at the tone

And when you're living in AmericaAt the end of the millenniu

You're what you own

She chuckled at him but joined singing Roger's part.

Roger:

The filmmaker cannot see

Mark:

And the songwriter cannot hear

Roger:

Yet I see Mimi everywhere

Mark:

Angel's voice is in my ear

Roger:

Just tighten those shoulders

Mark:

Just clench your jaw till you frown

Roger:

Just don't let go

Both:

Or you may drown

You're living in America

At the end of the millennium

You're living in America

Where it's like the Twilight Zone

And when you're living in America

At the end of the millennium

You're what you own

So I own not a notion

I escape and ape content

I don't own emotion -- I rent

Mark:

What was it about that night

Roger:

What was it about that night

Both:

Connection -- in an isolating age

Mark:

For once the shadows gave way to ligh

Roger:

For once the shadows gave way to light

Both:

For once I didn't disengage

Mark:

Angel -- I hear you -- I hear it

I see it -- I see it

My film!

Roger:

Mimi I see you -- I see it

I hear it -- I hear it

My song!

Mark:

Alexi--Mark

Call me a hypocrite

I need to finish my own film

I quit!

Roger:

One song--glory

Mimi

Your eyes...

Both:

Dying in America

At the end of the millennium

We're dying in America

To come into our own

And when you're dying in America

At the end of the millennium

You're not alone

I'm not alone

I'm not alone

When it was done; Lou went into Blaine's arms:

"Welcome to the family, Bowtie."

"Thank you; that mean a lot coming from you. You are in for tonight's dinner, right?"

"Of course; I'm in this family longer than you, silly."

xXxXx

Kurt tapped his fork to his glass to catch everyone's attention:

"Excuse me, excuse me. This have been a lovely dinner and we are glad to show you this charming place were my Blaine works, but there are some Christmas traditions that need to be fulfilled. My dear boyfriend and I have this tradition of singing a Christmas duet together. Since of last year, we like to do it ice-skating. So, we want to invite all of you to join us at the rink."

Louisa was the first to speak:

"I'm bugged I have to miss it; but I already had plans with Brody. I'm meeting him now at NYADA."

Kurt pouted and looked at Finn. Finn smiled at him:

"I'm with you, dude. Rachel and I aren't in the best mood and our place has turned into the supper preparations battle field."

Kurt smiled and turned to his father and Carole. Burt raised his hands in surrender:

"I wouldn't be mad of losing it. Let's go then."

They arrived at the rink but only Kurt and Blaine actually went skating. Burt and Carole sat to watch them and Finn just stood by the bars. Blaine took Kurt's hand and they got used to their skates going around the rink together.

They shared a meaningful glance and began to sing Seasons of Love from Rent. They had chosen the song together after the night at 5th Avenue. They had spent the night re-watching the movie and decided that measuring their time in love is what they wanted to do.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets,

In midnights, in cups of coffee?

In inches, in miles,

In laughter, in strife?

In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,

How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?

How about love?

How about love?

Measure in love.

Seasons of love,

Seasons of love.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,

Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan,

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truth that she learned,

Or in times that he cried?

In the bridges he burned,

Or the way that she died?

It's time now, to sing out,

Though the story never ends.

Let's celebrate, remember a year,

In the life of friends.

Remember the love, (Oh you got to, you got to remember the love)

Remember the love, (You know that love is a gift from up above)

Remember the love, (Share love, give love, spread love)

Measure in love, (Measure, measure your life in love)

Seasons of love,

Seasons of love (Measure your life, measure your life in love).

So many things had happened to them since last Christmas: some heart-broke, some reencounters, laughter, tears, friends, cups of coffee. Their lives together in New York with their new family could only be measured in love.

xXxXx

Louisa was walking towards NYADA to meet Brody when he surprised her midway.

"Brody! What are you doing here?"

"You texted me saying you were leaving Callbacks and I thought of surprising you. Didn't you like it, pookie? Why the long face?"

"It's nothing. Kurt invited me to see him and Blaine perform at an ice-skate rink, Just that."

Brody smirked and grabbed her hand:

"Let's got then."

Her surprise glued her to place:

"Like that?"

"Why not? Your family has been so nice inviting me for Christmas supper; why not doing something to please Kurt back?"

She smiled and followed him along to the rink. They arrive there and Kurt and Blaine were beginning their version of Seasons of Love. Louisa stood by the bars and watched how much Blaine could make her cousin happy. Brody stood behind her, with his chin on her shoulder and his hands next to hers in the bars, keeping her between his arms.

She grinned and turned to him:

"Thank you for agreeing to meet my family; this means the world to me."

He smirked and pulled her by the waist:

"I'm serious about you."

She closed the distance between them and kissed his lips fondly.

xXxXx

Rachel was edgy while walking towards Finn standing near the ice-skate rink. She lightly touched his shoulder and, much to her relieve, he smiled when he saw it was she. Behind them, Kurt and Blaine where beginning to sing.

Rachel cleared her throat:

"I feel like I should apologize; but you never actually said you were mad at me."

He looked down and shook his head. He then carefully placed his hand on her cheek:

"Maybe I've been too much grumpy later."

"We have lots to talk about, don't we?"

"Yes; but it's Christmas. Could we just be joy for now?"

She smiled and caressed his hand on her cheek:

"That's what I was looking for. Tomorrow I'll have you and all your family over for supper; and yes, I know that includes Louisa and her boyfriend. But, as I said to you that morning in NYADA; I'm happy that we are spending this Holiday together."

He chuckled:

"So you too are tired of all our fights being about other people?"

She looked seriously at him:

"You know they are actually about us and about our mixed feelings. But that's not the time to talk about it, right?"

He smiled:

"Merry Christmas, Rachel."

"Merry Christmas, darling."

Rachel got in her tiptoes to reach Finn's lips and give them a kiss.

xXxXx

Hiram Berry was glad whenever he could have a full room during the Holidays. He never quite understood why they had settled for an only child; but he was now quite happy about the family Rachel was entering to. The Hudson-Hummels seemed to live by the same principles as them and Finn was a good kid.

Maybe it was the Holiday spirit, maybe it was the wine; he only knew he was emotional. He got up and asked for a toast:

"I'd like to toast the fact that we are becoming one big loving family and that makes my heart glow. Can I ask that we celebrate it the Berry style? What would be of Christmas Eve without a little music? Since this week seems to be turning into one big Rent tribute – no complaints in that field – I'd suggest that we sing the Support Group Affirmation. Let's celebrate the present and the gifts it brings us."

Rachel was quick to turn the stereo on. Everyone in the room was cuddling with their loved ones and they got together to sing in unison.

There's only us

There's only this ...

Forget regret or life is yours to miss

(Louisa:

Look - I find some of what you teach suspect

Because I'm used to relying on intellect

But I try to open up to what I don't know

Because reason says I should have died

Three years ago)

No other road

No other way

No day but today

By the end of it; as they exchanged kisses and hugs, they noticed Carole was crying. Leroy approached her:

"Anything wrong, Carole?"

"None at all; I'm just moved by having everyone happy and together. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to us all."

Nine glasses were raised to join in her toast. Outside, the snow was falling and turning New York into the most magical city of them all.


	11. Flouisa

"Hello? Anybody home? I'm walking in."

Louisa entered her own apartment cautiously and was guided by the smell of fresh baked cookies coming from the kitchen. Once in there, she saw Kurt and Blaine too absorbed in each other to notice her presence. She cleared her throat exceedingly loud; making Kurt jump in Blaine's arms:

"Boo! We were waiting for you. Look! We even baked you some cookies to thank you for lending your place to us."

A mockery smirk appeared on Louisa's face:

"You were waiting for me? So why haven't you heard when I announced I was coming in?"

The way Kurt's face blushed and the crooked smile Blaine was giving her were enough of an answer for the girl. She shook her head:

"Never mind... Why don't we make some tea to go with those cookies and we can gossip a little in the living room?"

Provided with coffee, tea and cookies; the three of them sat together on the living room. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder and smiled to his cousin:

"It was a good Christmas and the New Year started wonderfully, hasn't it? We are all happy here in New York and having dad and Carole over is always a pleasure."

Blaine added:

"You have a great family. Now it's even better with Louisa less grumpy too. I think we should all send Brody a 'thank you' card."

As the girl wasn't smiling with them, but instead fidgety; Kurt sat up and took her hand:

"Is there something about Brody we don't know? I always told he wasn't good news..."

Blaine elbowed Kurt to make him quiet: Louisa looked distressed and was focusing on something on the floor not to look at them. When she turned, her eyes were moist and her nose was growing red:

"My sense of family has been altered a lot since I moved here. First, being away from my mother and getting closer to you, Kurt. Then seeing Uncle Burt and Grandma. I have to admit that Blaine and Finn changed my life for the better. However, seeing my father again has awakened a part of my past that was long forgotten."

Kurt pursed his lips. She smiled feebly and went on:

"This whole situation with my father is driving me nuts. And everything with Brody just feels too much alien to me. I mean; I had few boyfriends and fewer got that serious. It's weird to be in a relationship where I don't trust him 100%. Not that I think he'll cheat or anything; yet I still haven't had the courage to tell him about my...condition.'

Kurt squeezed her hands:

"How many times do I have to tell you that there's nothing wrong with you? Ok, you have your struggles; but who doesn't?"

"Come on Kurt; my panic attacks can be too much to take from someone who isn't used to it. I feel like a burden to whoever is with me. Brody once said he loved me; how can he love me when he doesn't know me? At the same time, it feels good whenever I'm with him. I can't complain, but I also can't fall for him either. I keep telling myself that maybe this is how things work in New York. Maybe the problem is just that I'm not adjusted to life around here."

Blaine smiled and got up from the couch:

"I agree that maybe you're expecting something from Brody that he can't give to you. I mean; how can he show you that he's ready to take you exactly as you are, if you don't show him who you are? You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable so people can reach you. It's not easy; I used to hide too. Kurt was the one who taught me how to do it, just by being his full self around me. Anyway, if you really want to be an actress; you need to learn how to open up to people."

He started searching her DVD's self until he found what he was looking for. Like he knew she'd have that film; he turned his back to the other two while putting the film on the player and selecting a scene. Anastasia's Learn to Do It scene began playing on the background and he signaled the other two to join him in a performance.

Vladimir:

You were born in a palace by the sea.

Anastasia:

A palace by the sea.

Could it be?

Vladimir:

Yes, that's right.

You rode horseback when you were only tree.

Anastasia:

Horseback riding? Me?

Vladimir:

And the horse...

Dimitri:

He was white!

Vladimir:

You made faces and terrorized the cook!

Dimitri:

Threw him in the brook!

Anastasia:

Was I wild?

Dimitri:

Wrote the book!

Vladimir:

But you behave when your father gave that look!

Dimitri:

Imagine how it was!

Soon enough, the three were goofing around the room and making funny faces to match the cartoon's character.

Vladimir:

Your long-forgotten past!

Vladimir, Dimitri:

We've lots and lots to teach you and the time is

going fast!

Anastasia:

All right. I'm ready!

Vladimir:

Now, shoulders back and stand up tall

Dimitri:

And do not walk, but try to float.

Anastasia:

I feel a little foolish. Am I floating?

Vladimir:

Like a little boat!

Dimitri:

You give a bow.

Anastasia:

What happens now?

Vladimir:

Your hand receives a kiss!

Vladimir, Dimitri:

Most of all, remember this:

Vladimir:

If I can learn to do it, you can learn to do it.

Dimitri:

Something in you knows it--

Vladimir, Dimitri:

There's nothing to it!

Vladimir:

Follow in my footsteps, shoe by shoe!

Vladimir, Dimitri:

You can learn to do it too!

Vladimir:

Now, elbows in and sit up straight.

Dimitri:

And never slurp the stroganoff.

Anastasia:

I never cared for for stroganoff!

Vladimir:

She said that like a Romanov!

Dimitri:

The Samovar.

Vladimir:

The caviar.

Anastasia:

Dessert and then goodnight?

Louisa forgot all her worries and trusted her new teachers that would lead her through the New York lifestyle.

Vladimir, Dimitri:

Not until you get this right!

Vladimir:

If I can learn to do it

Dimitri:

If he can learn to do it

Vladimir:

You can learn to do it!

Dimitri:

You can learn to do it

Vladimir:

Pull yourself together

Vladimir, Dimitri:

And you'll pull through it!

Vladimir:

Tell yourself it's easy

Vladimir, Dimitri:

And it's true! You can learn to do it too!

Vladimir:

Next, you must memorize the names of the royalty.

Now here we have Kropotkin

Dimitri:

Shot Potemkin

Vladimir:

In the Botkin.

Anastasia:

Oh!

Vladimir:

And dear old uncle Vanya loved his vodka

Dimitri:

Got it Anya?

Anastasia:

No!

Vladimir:

The Baron Pushkin

Anastasia:

He was?

Dimitri:

Short!

Vladimir:

Count Anatoly

Anastasia:

Had a...

Dimitri:

Wart!

Vladimir:

Count Sergei

Dimitri:

Wore a feathered hat.

Vladimir:

I hear he's gotten very fat.

Anastasia:

And I recall his yellow cat...

Vladimir:

I don't believe we told her that...

Anastasia:

If You can learn to do it, I can learn to do it!

Vladimir:

Don't know how you knew it.

Anastasia:

I simply knew it! Suddenly I feel like someone new...

Vladimir, Dimitri:

Anya, you're a dream come true!

If I can learn to do it,

Anastasia:

If I can learn to do it

Vladimir, Dimitri:

You can learn to do it!

Anastasia:

You can learn to do it.

Vladimir, Dimitri:

Pull yourself together

All Three:

And you'll pull though it!

Vladimir:

Tell yourself it's easy,

All Three:

And it's true--

Vladimir, Dimitri:

You can learn to do it,

Anastasia:

Nothing to it!

All Three:

You can learn to do it too!

They ended up falling together on the couch during a fit of laughter.

xXxXx

"Finn! How many times do I have to tell you not to leave the moist towel on the bed!"

"You're not my mother, Rachel!"

"Exactly my point."

Another grumpy morning when the two of them were screaming at each other for apparently no reason. It had been a couple of weeks since they'd agreed they needed to talk; but with all the Holidays and relatives, the conversation was postponed. However, unlike their communication, their problems hadn't disappeared.

Rachel knew with all her heart that she loved Finn, but couldn't he grow up like any other boy? Her friends in NYADA, especially Brody, had opened her eyes to a whole new level of maturity that man could reach; Finn stood stuck with the past and dreaming of reliving his glorious High School days by going back as a teacher. Maybe their journey would someday lead to different paths; maybe it had already happened and they weren't ready to see. She dreaded the day they couldn't deny it anymore.

"Rachel? Were you listening to me?"

"Sorry Finn; I got distracted. What was it?"

"I'm meeting with my college friends after class today; I'm coming home late."

"Again?"

Finn was genuinely shocked:

"How again, Rach? The semester has just begun."

She sighed:

"I know, but I feel like I hardly ever see you. First it was always going out with your mother..."

He interrupted her:

"Stop there! You know how much I like your dads, but sometimes when the three of you are together it's just too much Berry to take."

"So now our problems are ours parents?"

Finn's face turned into a not-so-much convincing grimace:

"Maybe."

She sighed once more:

"No, Finn. The problem is us; it has always been."

She began to sing the chorus part of Eminem's Love the Way You Lie. Finn stared at her trying to figure out what was going on.

(Rihanna)  
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
That's alright because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
That's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie

Eventually, he joined her singing the rap part.

(Eminem)  
I can't tell you what it really is  
I can only tell you what it feels like  
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe  
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight  
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight  
I offer love drunk from my hate  
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer  
I suffocate  
And right before I'm about to drown she resuscitates me  
She fucking hates me and I love it  
Wait  
Where you going  
I'm leaving you  
No you ain't  
Come back  
We're running right back  
Here we go again it's so insane  
Cause when it's going good it's going great  
I'm Superman with the wind in his back  
She's Lois Lane  
But when it's bad it's awful  
I feel so ashamed  
I snap  
Who's that dude?  
I don't even know his name  
I laid hands on him  
I'll never stoop so low again  
I guess I don't know my own strength

(Rihanna)  
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
That's alright because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
that's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie

(Eminem)  
You ever love somebody so much  
You can barely breathe  
When you're with them  
You meet  
And neither one of you  
Even know what hit them  
Got that warm fuzzy feeling  
Yeah them chills  
Used to get them  
Now you're getting fucking sick  
Of looking at them  
You swore you've never hit them  
Never do nothing to hurt them  
Now you're in each other's face  
Spewing venom  
And these words  
When you spit them  
You push  
Pull each other's hair  
Scratch, claw, pit them  
Throw them down  
Pin them  
So lost in the moments  
When you're in them  
It's the craze that the corporate  
Controls you both  
So they say it's best  
To go your separate ways  
Guess that they don't know you  
Cause today  
That was yesterday  
Yesterday is over  
It's a different day  
Sound like broken records  
Playing over  
But you promised her  
Next time you'll show restraint  
You don't get another chance  
Life is no Nintendo game  
But you lied again  
Now you get to watch her leave  
Out the window  
Guess that's why they call it windowpane

(Rihanna)  
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
That's alright because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
that's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie

(Eminem)  
Now I know we said things  
Did things  
That we didn't mean  
And we fall back  
Into the same patterns  
Same routine  
But your temper's just as bad  
As mine is  
You're the same as me  
But when it comes to love  
You're just as blinded  
Baby please come back  
It wasn't you  
Baby it was me  
Maybe our relationship  
Isn't as crazy as it seems  
Maybe that's what happens  
When a tornado meets a volcano  
All I know is  
I love you too much  
To walk away now  
Come inside  
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk  
Don't you hear sincerity  
In my voice when I talk  
Told you this is my fault  
Look me in the eyeball  
Next time I'm pissed  
I'll aim my fist  
At the dry wall  
Next time  
There will be no next time  
I apologize  
Even though I know it's lies  
I'm tired of the games  
I just want her back  
I know I'm a liar  
If she ever tries to fucking leave again  
I'mma tie her to the bed  
And set this house on fire  
Just gonna

(Rihanna)  
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
That's alright because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
that's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie

The finished the song and stood silently trying to read the other's expression. Suddenly, Finn disappeared into the room. He came back a few minutes later with a bag on his shoulders:

"I don't know what else you want from me."

She cut him off:

"I want you to grow up and face your problems like a man!"

He snorted mockery:

"Like Brody?"

"Stop bringing other people to our fights."

"I'm not, Rachel. I put all my heart on the line; I was completely honest with you. I can't give you more than that; I can't be more than that. Now I'm even surer of my decision: I'm moving out. I'll stop by when you're at school to pick up the rest of my stuff."

"Finn, stop! This won't solve anything; we need to talk."

"Sorry, Rachel; I won't wake up one day like the man of your dreams."

She began to sob:

"You are the man of my dreams. I love you, Finn."

"I love you too, Rach. That's why I'm leaving before we hate each other."

xXxXx

NYADA was the kind of place that made you aware of all the gossips even if you didn't want to. That was why Brody's peaceful morning in the cafeteria was disturbed when he heard the news some girl was practically shouting a couple of tables away:

"Have you heard it? Rachel Berry flunked a note of Don't Rain on My Parade during a class yesterday."

"Rachel Berry? Little Miss Barbra herself? Unbelievable!"

"That's what I heard. People are saying it's because she had a nasty fight with her boyfriend and he moved out."

"Are you sure of it? Those two were practically married."

"Of course I'm sure; I heard that pale boy that's his brother or something telling his boyfriend..."

Brody stopped paying attention as the girls began to describe the physical attributes of Kurt and Blaine. So Rachel and Finn had broken up for real? He had one sole thought in his mind: he must find Rachel as soon as possible.

Leaving half his protein-shake behind, Brody got up and ran to the class he was almost sure Rachel was in now. He only stopped to breathe when he was already outside her dance studio and seeing through the glass door that she was in there. When Rachel left the room, she took a while to see him because she was distracted by her phone:

"Brody! What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you; you have a minute?"

"Sure; what's so urgent?"

"I can't talk here; can we go to my room?"

She followed him there and he closed the door behind them. He took a deep breath still looking at the door before turning to her with eyes sparkling with hope:

"I need you to be completely honest with me."

She nodded and he walked to sit on the bed with her, grabbing one of her hands.

"Is it true that you and Finn broke up for good?"

She didn't answer and stared out of the window uncomfortably. He was glad she wasn't looking because her silence said everything and he couldn't stop the smile growing on his face:

"I'll take that as a yes. Rachel, I love you and I need you to know. I'd do anything for us to be back together."

She turned to him in a small voice:

"What about Louisa, Brody?"

He hadn't thought of her until that very moment. Of course he cared about Louisa; maybe even loved her. He was so sure of his feelings when he thought he'd lose her. However, since knowing Rachel was available; he couldn't think of nothing else. Rachel was the one that really moved him; he'd dare say the love of his life.

"I'll break-up with her as soon as I have an answer from you."

Rachel got up with an upset face:

"You will break-up with her? You haven't done it yet and you're already asking me to be your girlfriend? What kind of guy are you? You were saying you loved her not that very long ago. If I remember it correctly; the last time you said that was while she was spending the Holidays with you in that same bed you're sitting now."

He was lost and confused; but all he wanted in that moment was an answer from her:

"I know all that, Rachel. But you are the one that never left my mind. Even Louisa knows that. I know I don't deserve your trust after how we broke-up; but you were confused too. You slept with Finn when we were together! It doesn't matter now; nothing else matters now. All I know is that this love I'm feeling right now; I've never felt before. I'm already yours; just say you want me too and we can be happy forever."

She sighed and sat back besides him:

"Look, Brody, I know we still have unsolved feelings towards each other. But every day more I realize that I see in you all the solutions for Finn's flaws. In the same way you say you can't get me off your head; I can't get Finn. I love him and I'm not ready to give up on him just yet. Maybe I rushed things with you because I was confused at that time. And your feelings are mixed up right now. You didn't get to know the real me; the one that Finn helps me remember. I love you as a friend; but that doesn't mean I don't love you. I want you in my life; I understood that when we became friends again. But I'll understand if you need some time..."

He pursed his lips and nodded. He took her hand that was stretched towards him on the bed:

"I'll take it. As I thought when we became friends again: I rather have you in my life as my friend than not having you at all. I don't know if I can ever give up on you, I don't even know if I want to try right now; but I'll respect your decision."

She smiled:

"Can I hug you now? Even if I'm all sweaty from my dance class?"

He pulled her in his arms and exhaled loudly from all the closeness he wouldn't get from her.

xXxXx

Blaine knew how to be annoying when he wanted to. And boy; he wanted it right now! Ever since that morning when they talked about Brody; he hadn't stop bothering her to open up with her boyfriend. Not that Louisa didn't want to develop a deeper connection with Brody; she just didn't know if she was ready. Half because she wanted to and half to get Blaine off her feet, she decided to give a surprise visit to her boyfriend in the morning she knew he had off.

She was about to knock on his door when it was opened revealing a messy and sweaty looking Rachel. She was surprised seen Louisa by the door:

"Oh! Hi Louisa. I'm going now; see you around, Brody."

Rachel casted Brody a menacing look that Louisa wasn't supposed to see, but she saw anyway. She threw a quizzical look at him and he chuckled awkwardly.

"Lou, pookie; come in here and sit down."

She followed him inside still suspicious. She sat on the bed and he bent down to his knees in front of her, placing his hands on her thighs:

"I know it will sound cliché; but that's not what it looks like..."

"It better not be; because it looks a lot like cheating to me."

He laughed nervously, ducking his head for a few seconds:

"Rachel was here as a friend and we were talking about her break-up with Finn."

"I heard Kurt saying something about them breaking up; but I didn't take it too seriously: they come and go all the time. Yet, it still doesn't explain why she was leaving your room all sweaty."

"She came straight from her dance class."

"Sure... And was talking about her break-up with Finn so important that she had to run from her dance class straight to your room?"

Brody was getting more fidgeting every minute:

"She wanted the privacy; it seems like this time they've broken-up for good."

"Do you want me to believe that Rachel broke up with Finn for good and the first thing she does is coming straight to your room to talk?"

He got up in a jump:

"Come on, Lou! If we were up to something, we wouldn't do it in NYADA: the land of gossip. Besides, she wouldn't leave here all sweaty; or, at least, I'd be sweaty too..."

She raised one eyebrow measuring him from head to toe:

"You've got a point."

He smirked and got back down on his knees:

"Haven't I told you that I love you? Don't you believe me?"

She frowned:

"But I never said it back; I worry that you'll get tired of me someday..."

He got up and helped her lay down on the bed with him being on top. He kissed the tip of her nose and went to whisper in her ears:

"You're worth the wait."

She grinned and passed her arms around his neck, bringing him closer.

xXxXx

His day had been exhausting so far: after waking up in his friends' smelly couch, Finn had gone through a though day of classes and he wasn't whiling to going back just yet to the dreadful couch again. He missed Rachel; but he knew that even sleeping on the other room wouldn't be good for neither of them.

Kurt had invited him to join them on a night at Callbacks. He didn't want to go because he didn't want to bump into Rachel nor Brody. She had denied it, but his impressions about that guy were still the worst possible. However, the prospect of being alone with the smelly couch or facing a drunk party with his college friends who would set him up with a skank were neither appealing. He decided to try his luck and called his brother.

"Hi Finn."

"Hey bro, are you still going tonight with Blaine to Callbacks?"

"We're actually already here; changed your mind?"

"I don't know yet; I don't want to bump into Rachel or Brody..."

"Well, she went straight home after class and he's studying for a test tomorrow; that's why Louisa might show up alone later."

"Cool! Then I'm there in five."

"See you then."

Having a baby brother was useful sometimes. Besides, Kurt, Blaine and Louisa were a good company to keep his head away from the thoughts he had been fighting against all day.

After a quick yet expensive taxi drive, Finn arrived at Callbacks feeling the lighter he had since he moved out of Rachel's house. He spotted the couple in a table by the corner and sat with them, stealing some french-fries as he got comfortable.

"Goodnight to you too, Finn!"

"Goodnight bro. And goodnight Blaine."

Blaine chuckled and pulled Kurt closer to him:

"Leave your brother alone; can't you see how distressed he is?"

"Watch out for the irony, Anderson. I've been really pissed lately."

Kurt raised one eyebrow and commented also ironically:

"We can tell..."

"You two leave me alone. I'm blue because I think I lost the love of my life."

Kurt rolled his eyes in his typical way:

"Why are you and Rachel so thick headed and can't be just fine and happy together? You love each other so much."

Finn placed his elbows on the table and hid his head between his arms:

"It's not that simple, Kurt. We've stretched our relationship too much. Sometimes, only love isn't enough."

Blaine patted his arm sympathetically:

"Although I think you're wrong, because, for me, love can always fix everything; I understand that a little time apart can make wonders in a relationship. Take me and Kurt, for example."

"Thanks, dude; but thinking too much about what you and Kurt have will only make me bluer."

The host of the night went up to the microphone to cheer the audience up:

"So, anyone interested in sharing their talent with us tonight? Who'll be next?"

Finn drank another gulp from his cup and got up:

"Me! I want to sing tonight."

Kurt and Blaine looked surprised but cheered him on. He stumbled until the microphone and introduced himself:

"Goodnight everyone; I'm Finn Hudson and I'll be singing Maroon 5's This Love. This one is dedicated to my ex-girlfriend who is the love of my life. Thank you."

I was so high I did not recognize  
The fire burning in her eyes  
The chaos that controlled my mind  
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane  
Never to return again  
But always in my heart

He started embarrassedly but, slowly, he was transformed during the song.

This love has taken its toll on me  
She said goodbye too many times before  
And her heart is breaking in front of me  
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

Finn looked out of himself during his performance: his threw all his worries into singing.

I tried my best to feed her appetite  
Keep her coming every night  
So hard to keep her satisfied  
Kept playing love like it was just a game  
Pretending to feel the same  
Then turn around and leave again

The audience went crazy with him and he experienced what Rachel must feel when she's on stage.

This love has taken its toll on me  
She said goodbye too many times before  
And her heart is breaking in front of me  
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

Louisa walked in the bar while he was singing and he opened a huge grin when he saw her.

I'll fix these broken things  
Repair your broken wings  
And make sure everything's all right  
My pressure on your hips  
Sinking my fingertips  
Into every inch of you  
Cause I know that's what you want me to do

This love has taken its toll on me  
She said goodbye too many times before  
And her heart is breaking in front of me  
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

This love has taken its toll on me  
She said goodbye too many times before  
And my heart is breaking in front of me  
She said Goodbye too many times before

This love has taken its toll on me  
She said goodbye too many times before  
And her heart is breaking in front of me  
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore...

She walked to sit with Kurt and Blaine, but Finn, when he got rid of all the people complimenting him, decided to be alone outside for a while.

xXxXx

"How many drinks did Finn have? He seemed tipsy."

Blaine smiled at the girl:

"None at all. Since he arrived he only ordered soda and he didn't look like drunk when he got here."

Louisa excused herself from the other two, stopped by at the bar to get a drink and went looking for Finn outside. She found him sat on the sidewalk looking at the edge of tears. She sat by his side and handed him the beer:

"Did you know I'm legal to drink? Here; it might help."

A glimpse of a smile appeared in Finn's face as he got the paper bag from her hands:

"Aren't you worried of been giving alcoholic beverage to someone underage?"

She chuckled:

"It's only this one; you are under my responsibility tonight, cousin."

He raised the bottle like a toast to her. She smiled:

"Break-ups can be a nasty piece of work; you can count on me if you need."

He grinned at her:

"You're such a nice girl, Louisa. You're so easy to talk to and I always enjoy your company. I wish Rachel could be so easygoing too."

She raised her eyebrows thinking of how much he knew nothing about her:

"I'm not that easy to be with all the time; it's you that only gets to see my bright side."

He starred at her puzzled for a couple of seconds before waving his hand:

"Nah, I can't believe that. For me you're a nice girl and that's it. The only thing I can't understand is why you are still with that prick of Brody."

She pursed her lips and looked down blushing. Finn raised her chin and looked in her eyes:

"Seriously, that guy is a jerk. You deserve better."

"It's not that simple, Finn."

"Yes, it is! That guy doesn't deserve you. He's hiding stuff from you!"

She ducked her head and moved it away from his hands:

"Hiding what? That he's still into Rachel? I know that. As he knows I'm still into another guy..."

Finn was shocked:

"Another guy?"

She blushed again but decided to tell it anyway:

"You, Finn. I have a crush on you since our awkward first meeting when you got me dancing in my underwear."

His eyes opened even wider:

"Wow! That's heavy!"

"I know..."

"But you are... kind of my cousin."

"I know..."

They stood in silence for a while just watching the people coming and going on the street. Finn cleared his throat:

"Lou, I must admit that I was attracted to you too. I don't want to disrespect you, but seeing you dancing almost naked that day made an impression on me. But Rachel is the love of my life. Although you get me confused every time Rachel and I are in a rough phase; she's the one I love and to whom I'm devoted to..."

She stopped him:

"Finn, it's just a crush. I don't want to act on it. I mean, you're a wonderful guy and all that; but it's clear you belong with Rachel. That's what Brody's been helping me forget. You're my family, Finn. There're too many reasons why we shouldn't try to be together."

"That's too much to take in one night; maybe I should get going."

Louisa held him by the arm:

"Please; don't go on my account. Let's go back inside to be with Kurt and Blaine. I don't want things to get awkward between us; I don't want us to walk out of each other's lives..."

He was still staring at her hand in his arm when he answered:

"You got to admit it'll be a little awkward between us..."

She chuckled. He got up and extended his hand to help her up:

"Come on, cos. Let's join the rest of the family."

She grinned as she took his hand:

"Family... That works for me."

He smiled back:

"And as your cousin, I must tell you that I still don't trust that boyfriend of yours."

She grabbed his arm to walk back inside:

"You'll learn to love him as I did."

xXxXx

The pain of not having Finn around was slowly writing itself upon Rachel. And it wasn't only that: everyone else of her friends seemed now to be orbiting around Louisa. She hadn't only lost her love, but also her friends and she was alone.

Besides NYADA's usual gossipers, Rachel was completely alone. She felt like the girl she was before Glee club and she didn't want that bitterness anymore. Walking by herself around NYADA was one of her worse experiences; and it only got worse when she saw Louisa in all her glory with Kurt and Blaine. Rachel couldn't take it anymore.

"Excuse me, Louisa; can I have a word with you?"

The girl started following her to one of the rehearsal auditoriums and Kurt and Blaine came around like her trained puppies. Rachel turned to them in an attempt of a polite smile:

"In private; if you excuse us."

Kurt opened his mouth to protest, but Louisa interrupted him:

"I don't have secrets with them and I thought you hadn't either."

"Fine! But you two don't get to say a word."

Rachel finished her treat closing the door behind them. Louisa had a disgusted look in her face:

"Listen up, Rachel. You are not the Queen of the Universe to boss everyone around."

Rachel had it and breathed deeply not to jump on the girl's neck:

"What do you have against me to make my life a living hell?"

Louisa looked awestruck:

"I'm sorry? Against you? Ok; we hated each other from the first moment we met; but I never did anything to harm you. I don't obsess with you all day like you seam to do over me."

"I'm not obsessed about you; you that came around and stole my boyfriend and all my friends."

"You didn't lose Finn on my account, Rachel. He still loves you; why don't you go after him instead of coming bitching around me?"

Rachel was about to scream at the girl but Louisa stopped her in such an insulting way that Rachel went speechless.

"Alright Rachel, you seem to only understand things when they are sung to you. Blaine, turn one of the mics on for me."

Louisa went up the stage and grabbed a microphone. She started singing Cinderella, Darling from How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying. Rachel sat down to watch the performance, not believing the girl's boldness.

How often does it happen

That a secretary's boss

Wants to marry her?

Kurt joined his cousin doing the chorus for her.

Halleluia!

How often does the dream come true

Without a sign of conflict

Or barrier?

Halleluia!

Why treat the man

Like he was a typhoid carrier?

How often can you fly

From this land of carbon paper

To the land of flowered chinz?

Halleluia!

How often does a Cinderella

Get a crack at the prince?

Soon, the two of them were tap-dancing around and having the time of their lives. Blaine was in the audience with Rachel, but he was laughing and cheering the way he did when Kurt performed and Blaine believed him to be the best thing in this world.

Cinderella and the prince.

Don't you realize

You're a real live fairy tale,

A symbol devine?

So if not for your own sake,

Please darling, for mine.

Don't, don't, don't, Cinderella, darling,

Don't turn down the prince.

Don't rewrite your story.

You're the legend, the folk lore,

The working girl's dream of glory.

We were raised on you, darling,

And we've loved you ever since.

Don't mess up a major miracle;

Don't, Cinderella, don't turn down the prince.

Oh, let us live it with you,

Each hour of each day:

On from Bergdorf Goodman

To Elizabeth Arden

In the station wagon

Hurry from Twenty-One

To the Tarrytown PTA.

(No, New Rochelle.)

New Rochelle PTA.

Oh, do not leave us minus

Our vicarious bonus.

We want to see his highness

Married to your lowness.

On you, Cinderella, sits the onus;

So when you name the happy day,

Please phone us.

But don't, don't, don't, Cinderella, darling,

Don't turn down the prince.

Don't louse up our fav'rite fairy tale;

Don't, Cinderella,

Don't, don't, don't,

Don't, Cinderella,

Don't, don't, don't,

Don't, Cinderella, don't,

Don't turn down the prince.

(All right. I'll give him one more chance.)

Halleluia!

Louisa finished it, panting and sweating and walked downstage nearer Rachel:

"See Rach; I know how wonderful of a guy Finn is, but I get he's yours. I never meant to be in you guy's way; and I'll now actively avoid it. However, Finn is family to me and I won't be away from him."

Rachel got up smirking sarcastically:

"Yeah, now you come posing as a superhero; but I know better, Louisa. I know you're into Finn and I know how you use your fake innocent way to get all the people to like you and treat you like a porcelain doll..."

Kurt interrupted her:

"Rachel! She's my cousin and you're saying awful and untrue things about her. She had the best intentions here."

Rachel snorted and looked at him:

"Did she? How blind did she have you, Kurt? Has she told you about the fake relationship she's keeping with Brody? I wouldn't be surprised if it's all a big plot from the two of them to tear me and Finn apart. Brody came running to me the second he knew Finn and I had broken-up."

A blur of pale skin and brown hair passed Rachel: it was Louisa running out of the auditorium.

xXxXx

Louisa had reached that point she avoided with all her strength: her blood had boiled. Brody was nothing more than a liar and she couldn't believe how naïve she had been and how much she had given him the other day. She knew exactly where he'd be and she was headed there in a way that nothing could distract her.

She opened the door to the auditorium where the lights and sound for Next to Normal were being tested. Brody was there with the tech team and opened his arms to greet her. However, the killer look on her face made him quiet again and he stepped aside to let her trough.

She climbed the stage and stood up on the hammock that would be used on Maggie's scene. She looked at the sound cabin:

"Ned, give me the spotlight and turn the microphone on; you can test the light for Didn't I See This Movie while I sing Maggie's part."

She began to sing and Brody rushed to climb on the stage and take his place as Gabe on the scene. She then turned to him instead of the supposed doctor she ought to be singing to.

Didn't I see this movie, with McMurphy and the nurse?

That hospital was heavy, but this cuckoo's nest is worse.

Isn't this the one where in the end the good guys fry?

Didn't I see this movie, and didn't I cry?

Didn't I cry?

Her rage full eyes focused on him.

What makes you think I'd lose my mind for you?

I'm no sociopath, I'm no Sylvia Plath

I ain't no Francis Farmer, I don't fight for you

So stay out of my brain

I'm no princess of pain

Gradually, Brody stopped moving her around like his character should and stared back at her with eyes filled with fear; she only smiled triumphantly.

Didn't I see this movie, where the doctor looks like you?

Where the patient got impatient and said, "Sorry, doc, I'm through?"

I know where this is going, and I know what you're about.

Cause I have seen this movie and I walked out

I walked out

I'm walking...

By the end of the performance, she climbed down the hammock, leaving the microphone there. She turned to Brody and said one sentence before turning around and disappearing as fast as she entered:

"It's over, Brody."


	12. Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: self-harm

"I miss Louisa."

Rachel turned to him with that judgmental face she wore whenever she was about to disagree with him:

"You do have the tendency of been keen of things you cannot have."

Brody pleaded her with his eyes:

"Don't be mean to me, Rach. I do like her. Independently of how I feel about you, Louisa left a bend in my life. She leaves... I mean; makes... Anyway, I don't want to give up hope just yet."

Rachel stared at him sarcastically. As she saw he was being serious, she sighed and answered:

"You said pretty much the same thing to me..."

"Does this mean you have changed your mind?"

"No, Brody! I'm fighting to have Finn back; I'm just giving him some time. What I meant to say was that you can't be that serious about Louisa. You can't love two people at once."

"Of course I can! I know it simply because I do. And I'm pretty sure I'm not dead to her either."

Rachel rolled her eyes:

"I like your optimism, but the word out there is that she's mad at you and Blaine testifies she's not the type that forgives easily. Kurt wants your head too; he even said I shouldn't be hanging out with you that often."

Brody smirked in his confident way:

"I know well how fierce and feisty the Hummels can be; but it's not like they can avoid me forever. I'll be soon leaving you here to meet them at Next to Normal's rehearsals; not to brag myself, but this production can be the biggest thing in their curriculum so far. They are stubborn enough not to quit and let me looking like the bigger man."

"I hope you are right for your own good. However, don't forget they have other ways of bringing you down. I felt in my own skin how vindictive Louisa can be."

He laughed amusedly:

"Are you telling me to be cautious about my girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend."

"This status will be changed soon enough; I told you I'd be dating her in no time and we were together the next week. It was the same thing with you: you swear you'd never see me again and look at us now."

"Be careful, Brody. I could forgive you and become your friend again. With Louisa it's different: she's sure you cheated on her and she's very moody."

"We'll see Rachel. Well, I'm off to rehearsal now; wish me luck!"

He left Rachel with a faithless face in the cafeteria and marched on to the auditorium. It had been some time since Louisa had entered the tech rehearsals and broken-up with him; they have bumped a few times in the corridors but she refused to talk to him, neither had she answered his texts and voice messages. That day, however, she'd be forced to be in the same room as him for a long time and he wouldn't let her go without at least have listened to him.

He entered the auditorium and found that she was already there; escorted by a furiously looking Kurt and a supportive Blaine. He tried to smile to see what answer he'd get; but all he achieved was a polite head nod by Blaine. Brody knew it wouldn't be easy. However, he got some aces down his sleeve:

"Okay guys; today we'll start rehearsal with my scene. I'll sing Gabe's solo I'm Alive so Ned and I can show you how the staging and lights for this scene will look like."

A moment on the spotlight was the perfect opportunity to catch Louisa's eyes and Brody took full advantage of it.

I am what you want me to be,   
And I'm your worst fear  
You'll find it in me.  
Come closer...   
Come closer... 

I am more than memory  
I am what might be,   
I am mystery.  
You know me  
So show me.

The song become almost as if a treat mixed up with teasing.

When I appear it's  
Not so clear if  
I'm a simple spirit  
Or I'm flesh and blood... 

But I'm alive,   
I'm alive,   
I am so alive,   
And I feed on the fear  
That's behind your eyes.

And I need you  
To need me  
It's no surprise  
I'm alive...   
So alive...   
I'm alive.

I am flame and I am fire,   
I am destruction,   
Decay and desire  
I'll hurt you...   
I'll heal you... 

I'm your wish,   
Your dream come true,   
And I am your darkest  
Nightmare too  
I've shown you...   
I own you.

His eyes were burning with a new flame because, by every moment, he got surer that he was somehow still alive inside of the girl.

And though you made me,   
You can't change me  
I'm the perfect stranger  
Who knows you too well.

And I'm alive,   
I'm alive,   
I am so alive,   
And I'll tell you the truth  
If you let me try.

You're alive,   
I'm alive,   
And I'll show why  
I'm alive...   
So alive... 

I'm alive  
I'm right behind you.  
You say forget,   
But I remind you.  
You can try to hide,   
You know that I will find you.  
'Cause if you won't grieve me  
You won't leave me behind... 

Ah, ah, ah,   
Whoa, oh, oh,   
Whoa, oh, oh...   
No, no, no  
I'm alive,   
I'm alive,   
I am so alive,   
If you climb on my back,   
Then we both can fly.

If you try to deny me  
I'll never die  
I'm alive...   
So alive...   
I'm alive...   
Yeah, yeah...   
I'm alive...   
I'm alive...   
I'm alive...   
I'm alive!

xXxXx

It wasn't bad enough that she needed to be in the same room as Brody for endless hours every week; she would have also to put up with his cocky smile that said to her he was sure she'd be back to him whenever he wanted. She smirked swanky remembering he knew nothing about her and that she'd, undoubtedly, go out as the winner of their twisted little game.

She managed to avoid having a conversation with Brody throughout the entire rehearsal (obviously with lots of help from Kurt and, eventually, even from Blaine). However, they were beginning to change out of their costumes when he grabbed her arm:

"I need to talk to you."

"About what? About how amazing the sex between you and Rachel was that day when I almost walked into you?"

Brody exhaled and seemed to be trying to calm down before he focused his glaze in her eyes:

"I haven't slept with Rachel since she broke up with me last year. You owe me at least hear my explanation..."

"I owe you nothing, Brody. You made me promises and went behind my back running after another girl; or you deny that?"

"I don't deny it; I'm confused. I was confused. But now I know how I feel about you. And you feel it too! I saw the way you looked at me while I was singing I'm Alive!"

She rolled her eyes in the mock Hummel way:

"Who do you think you are? Some kind of Aaron Tveit? No way, honey! The only relationship I'll have with you from now on is in this rehearsal room and about Next to Normal. Otherwise; you can just forget me, okay?"

She managed to free her arm and was walking to the girl's changing room when he yelled at her:

"I won't give up on you!"

She began to see red but she managed to take a deep breath and was calm enough not to blow:

"You'll never give up on Rachel either. It's not enough for me. You hardly know me, so... please... just. Let. Me. Go."

Before she could measure his reaction, she was out of sight and with Maggie in the girl's changing room. The chubby girl looked at her puzzled:

"What happened in there?"

Louisa shook her head, waving the subject off as non-important:

"It was nothing; Brody is trying to get us back together..."

"After what he did? What a dick!"

Louisa smiled grateful for having made such a great friend. Maggie rubbed her shoulders reassuringly:

"Don't worry; you'll find someone much better."

"I'm not worried about that..."

"Then you shouldn't be worried about anything: you're killing it as Natalie!"

Louisa felt the grin forming in her lips:

"Thank you, Mags. I must say you're perfect as Diana."

Maggie gave her one of her rare smiles meaning she was taking the compliment but was back to her serious face as she answered:

"That means that NYADA's tuition is paying off. Diana is a great character; but I can't really connect to her. I mean; can you imagine the life of someone mentally unstable? It must be a nightmare!"

Louisa just nodded. Maggie went on but she wasn't paying attention anymore. Louisa started to change facing the other wall so her friend wouldn't see the concern in her face. She declined Maggie's invitation for lunch and brought lunch to eat alone in a deserted corner of the university.

Dragging down one of her anxiety pills with the food; Louisa let the tears invade her face. She took her phone out; but the alert of three new unread messages from her father made she lose the will to call Kurt. She plugged her phones in her ears and let the familiar sad notes sung in Portuguese fill her mind.

Tom Jobim and Vinícius de Moraes were right: there's no ending for sadness, but there's for happiness.

xXxXx

"Hey, Blaine!"

"Finn! What's up? What brings you here?"

"Job hunt; I need a way to pay my own rent."

"We all do..."

Finn knew he could trust Blaine to help him with his new plans and to be discrete about it. Besides, Callbacks was a good place to work and he couldn't count only with his mother's help to keep him through all college.

Finn hadn't warned he'd be coming; but it was a little over the usual lunch time and the bar was almost empty. Blaine was doing some cleaning behind the counter and had time to talk to him.

"I'm not aware that they've been looking for hiring; but the staff here changes a lot and you could talk to the manager. It's a good place to work: they pay fairly and the hours are flexible. And you'll turn 21 soon, right? That makes it easier; you can try a spot for the evening shift too. Anyway, Lauren, the manager, is just out solving an issue; she should be back anytime. Wait around. Have you eaten?"

Before he could answer anything, a female voice called his name in a tentatively way. Finn turned just to confirm that the familiar voice was really from Rachel. She smiled coyly and avoided his gaze. He turned to Blaine with a bitter tune:

"Thanks man; but I guess I'll be back another time. I've got plenty to do right now."

He was getting out of the stool when she cleared her throat:

"I guess we can be in the same room; can't we, Finn?"

He studied her for a second before answering:

"For me it's too soon."

"I have no resentment for you. I hoped we could still be friends..."

"Maybe in the future. Now I have to go; if you excuse me."

She pursed her lips:

"You can stay; I'm finish and I was going anyway."

She nodded her head to Finn and Blaine and walked to the door. He sat back down, turned to Blaine and exhaled exhausted. Immediately, a large glass of soda was in front of him and Blaine was smiling sympathetically:

"I'll order you a burger and some fries to go with it. I'm pretty much done here and you seem like you can use a friend to talk to."

"Thanks man; that'll be great."

xXxXx

Brody felt like all he did those past few days was walking around NYADA to solve problems for the Next to Normal production. Being so close to his graduation meant fewer time spent in classrooms and more time wandering through corridors during strange hours.

It was normal for some students to have nervous break-downs and be found crying on the corridors. However, the sound he was hearing was hiccups that only came from sorrow crying. He turned a corner and found Louisa sitting on the floor, hugging her knees and crying. She looked up and, when she saw it was him, she turned her face and fallibly tried to hide her tears.

He said in a sarcastic voice:

"Oh sorry; I didn't know this corridor had already been claimed by the queen."

She just rolled her eyes and went back to staring at the wall instead of him. His first instinct was to turn away and leave her alone like she requested. However, when you see the woman you love crying; you have to slide your back down the wall and sit by her side. He knew better than to try physical contact, so he tried to do his best at comforting her just with his words:

"There's no denial you've been crying and I could never live with myself knowing I just walked away on you."

Her sassy side spoke louder and she snorted at him while getting up:

"I can take care of myself; thank you very much."

He held her by the arm:

"Could you stop being so stubborn for just a minute and accept my help? I know I fucked things up; but I'm here just as someone who cares about you."

She studied his hands on her arm for a while before giving up and sitting back down. He smirked pleased with himself:

"See? I know at least a little bit about you. I have feelings for you..."

He stopped midway to snort at her frown. She didn't take it well and rolled her eyes again. He took some tissues out of his bag and handed it to her as he went on:

"I'm not trying any funny business here; you made your point very clear this morning. I'm just emphasizing that I care about you and that you can count on me for help."

She was cleaning her face and smiled for just a second:

"Thanks; I guess."

He grinned:

"That's better; you look prettier with a smile on. Now, will you tell me what's been bothering you or I can carry on supposing I have this effect on you?"

She shook her head in that way she used to point out he was being ridiculous:

"Cocky, aren't we? No, it's not you. Although I'm furious about you. It's... too complicated."

He dared take her hand and started stroking it:

"I'm not that dumb and I can be a good listener when I want to."

She politely took her hand away and held it among her other closer to her chest in a movement that didn't look conscientious. Her eyes were lost far away when she said:

"I don't like talking about it."

He turned so the rest of his body was facing her too. She didn't budge and he took it as a good sign. He was about to fondly touch her face when they were interrupted by a group of girls passing by giggling and not bothering to hide they were gossiping about them. He sighed and lowered his hand.

When he looked back at Louisa, she was still looking at the girls growing smaller with the distance. He chuckled:

"You aren't bothered about the gossips, are you?"

She just shook her head. He got curious:

"What? Do you envy them? You are a thousand times better looking than them and you've got a million times their talents."

"It's not that I envy on them..."

He was confused. She got up in a sudden and was wearing an unusual expression of hesitation:

"Could you come with me?"

He followed her into an empty classroom. She plugged her iPod to the sound system and dropped her bag on the floor. As the first notes of Next to Normal's I Miss the Mountains started filling the room; she guided him by the hand to sit down and began to sing her soul away with the song.

There was a time when I flew higher,   
Was a time the wild girl running free  
Would be me.  
Now I see her feel the fire,   
Now I know she needs me  
There to share  
I'm nowhere.

He had never seen her so naked as in that moment: it was as if he was meeting a whole side of her he had never seen before. Some tears began to run down her face but her voice didn't break for a single moment.

All these blank and tranquil years  
Seems they've dried up all my tears.  
And while she runs free and fast,   
Seems my wild days are past.

But I miss the mountains.  
I miss the dizzy heights.  
All the manic, magic days,   
And the dark, depressing nights.

I miss the mountains,   
I miss the highs and lows,   
All the climbing, all the falling,   
All the while the wild wind blows,   
Stinging you with snow  
And soaking you with rain  
I miss the mountains,   
I miss the pain.

Mountains make you crazy  
Here it's safe and sound.  
My mind is somewhere hazy  
My feet are on the ground.

Everything is balanced here  
And on an even keel.  
Everything is perfect  
Nothing's real...   
Nothing's real.

And I miss the mountains.  
I, I miss the lonely climb.  
Wand'ring through the wilderness.  
And spending all my time  
Where the air is clear  
And cuts you like a knife  
I miss the mountains...   
I miss the mountains...   
I miss my life.  
I miss my life.

She finished and stood panting looking at him. Without further explanation, she picked up her bag and stormed out of the room.

xXxXx

Maggie Cooper had the incredible ability to call Kurt at his busiest times at Vogue. However, since it had been a while she had last called and she only called for important matters; he decided to take it:

"Hi Maggie; what's up?"

"Hello Kurt. Sorry to bother you; but it's about Louisa and you asked me to keep you informed."

"Sure Maggie; I'm glad you called. Is something wrong?"

Kurt could sense the hesitation in Maggie's voice and the big pauses she took. It was either a delicate subject or something that could piss Louisa off. Or even both.

"I don't know for sure, but Louisa's been acting weird. She's quieter and spends great amounts of time locked in her bedroom not wanting to eat or speak to anybody."

Kurt exhaled relaxed:

"This makes me calmer, Maggie. You know I love my cousin, but she can be a drama queen some times. She's making a bigger deal than it is with hers and Brody's break-up. She's seeking attention; just ignore it and she'll come around in a couple of days..."

"Are you sure, Kurt? It seemed as something more serious to me..."

"Maggie, trust me. I can't talk right now; I can call you after work if you want. However, I'm pretty sure it's nothing."

"No need to call me; if you say it's alright, I trust you. Let's make a deal? I call you if things get weirder, ok?"

"That would be wonderful, Maggie. Have a great day."

Kurt hung up shaking his head at his cousin's ability to manipulate people. Louisa had a way of getting things her way while making everyone blind that they were doing exactly what she wanted. He took a long time to discover this mechanism and work against it with his own tools. No one never said a 'no' straight to Lou's face and walked away winning; but he knew how to maneuver her that she only realized it when she had already done it his way.

However, thoughts of Maggie, Louisa and everything else were soon forgotten under the pile of work he had to hand that day.

xXxXx

There was a voice inside Louisa's head that was her own and someone completely different at the same time. This voice was getting louder and louder in her head and she knew it couldn't mean good. It sounded like her; like the voice her thoughts were voiced in. Yet, it told her to do horrible stuff. Mostly to herself.

There was nowhere to run from it. It was part of her: the part of her she hated and wanted to kill. She had already taken her anxiety pills, made everything that used to help make her calmer; but nothing seemed to work. In a last desperate attempt, she went into the bathroom to prepare a calming warm bath.

And then: there it was. Maggie had a blade she used to shave and it was lying on the sink. A blade detached from anything; a perfect blade to cut a purely white skin and seeing hot red blood running down in steady streams. No! She couldn't do that; she wouldn't! But the thought of seeing her wrists tinged dark red by a single flick of that blade was tempting...

She stared at her reflection in the mirror and saw the face of defeat: all those months fighting against those thoughts and a single moment she wasn't vigilant made it all worthless. The dark circles under her eyes growing deeper and wider every day. Her face growing from porcelain white to a morbid sick one. She knew her strengths were fading, but there weren't gone yet.

She sat at the edge of the bathtub facing the wall. The only sound besides the annoying voice in her head was the water running down the tap. She tried to focus on the water but it wasn't enough. Singing was her last resource, but the songs in her head were of dark and hopeless times. Still, it was better than nothing. Slowly, she began to sing Mist and Shadows; the song Pippin sung in The Lord of the Rings' movie.

Home is behind

The world ahead.

And there are many paths to tread

It didn't take long for the song to take her head and soon she was seeing all in shades of red.

Through shadow,

To the edge of night

Until the stars are all alight

The images of Brody with Rachel, of Finn with Rachel, of her mother in poverty, of Blaine cheating on Kurt, of Kurt being heartbroken, of Aunt Elizabeth's death, of Uncle Burt weak from cancer, of all her break-downs, of all her fights with Blaine, of Grandma Hummel despise and most of all of her father walking away from her and her mother were all she could see.

Mist and shadow

Cloud and shade

All shall fade

All shall...fade.

They all faded to one single image of a blade bathed with blood; her blood and she couldn't escape anymore.

She turned down the tap and entered the bathtub holding the blade. She dived her head to let all her body get wet. She sat back up and began with small cuts in her inner thigh. The water made the blood come out faster and she stared at it with a mixture of intense pleasure and profound disgust for herself. It was when her tears began to flow with her not believing how weak she was.

Gathering the last feeble strengths she still had, she picked up her phone and dialed the only person she could think of:

"I need you."

The last thing she felt was the phone slipping down from her hand.

xXxXx

"Lou! Louisa! Talk to me! Talk to me, please!"

Blaine knew something was terribly wrong with her but all he could do at the moment was sink down behind the counter into a crying form. Louisa's voice was in a desperate tune he had never heard before and it brought goosebumps all down his arm. He craned she had done something unspeakably stupid.

In a rush of adrenaline, he got up from the floor, rushed out of his work and got into a cab straight to her place. Maggie looked very confused when she opened the door to him, but he had no time for explanations:

"Where's she? Where's Louisa?"

"Taking a bath; why?"

Blaine ignored her questions and entered the apartment anyway. He went straight to bang on the bathroom door and Maggie came complaining right behind him. He banged each time louder but got no answer.

"There's no answer, Maggie! How long has she been there? She called me and I'm afraid she did something stupid."

Maggie went from confused to shocked whiting the second. She began sobbing:

"It's all my fault! She's been quiet for an awful long time and I didn't check on her. I called Kurt to say that she was weird and he told me to ignore it. And I did... My best friend is dead now and it's all because of me!"

Blaine really didn't have time to deal with Maggie. He simply moved her out of the way:

"Don't say that; we don't know yet. Just get out of my way so I can break this door down."

After a few attempts, the door fell and they could enter the bathroom. Louisa was lying unawaken on the bathtub which water was red from her blood. Blaine went to check her pulse and was relieved to see she still had a feeble one and that her wrists were unharmed. Maggie made an exasperate sound and her sobbing got more intensive.

"She's alive, Maggie; but if you can't handle this just get out of my way!"

The girl disappeared inside the apartment. He managed to move Louisa a little up in the tub and she blinked at him.

"It's alright, Lou; I'm here."

Her eyes closed again. He draped her in a bathrobe and began to raise her. She woke up a little more with the movement:

"I'm cold."

"Sure you are. If you help me a little bit, I can get you to your room and we can dry you up properly."

She got a bit stiffer in his arms and he thanked all the gods her apartment was small. He laid her in her bed and went back to the bathroom for a towel. When he got back, her eyes were open.

He smiled at her and began drying her exposed legs:

"What have you done, Lou?"

He was surprised to hear her feeble voice articulating an answer:

"Nothing irreversible..."

"Thank God."

"But I thought of it."

She looked away and he could see she was embarrassed. He lay by her side in the bed and put her head on his shoulder:

"Hey... It's alright now... You resisted it. You used your strength to call for help. You brought me here; you wanted to be helped."

She began to silently cry and hid her face in his chest. He kissed the top of her head and let her be for a while. Maggie knocked lightly on the open door:

"Do you need any help? I'm calmer now..."

Blaine smiled at her:

"I think I got it, Maggie. Sorry for earlier."

She waved it out:

"Don't mention... If it wasn't for you and your calm head we wouldn't have helped her. I'll make you guys some chamomile tea."

"Thanks."

Louisa looked at him with puff red eyes:

"Thank you, Blaine. I could only think of calling you for help."

"And here I am; I'm glad you called. Care to talk about it or it's too soon?"

"I prevented myself from cutting my wrists by cutting my thighs. But I'm not proud of it. I'm actually ashamed..."

He held her tighter:

"Lou, you know it's part of your condition. I mean... I don't know for sure; but you knew it could happen, right?"

"I thought of it before; that's why I got into heavier medicine. But I never got this close... I wish I was strong, Blaine."

The last phrase she already spoke between sobs. He rubbed her back trying to calm her:

"You are strong, sweetheart. Never think it of you. You just carry a heavier burden than most people do. Just keeping standing on is enough prove of the power of your strengths. And you got friends to help you."

She adjusted herself in his arms so she was looking at him and smiled. After looking for the right words, she began singing Eponine's lines in Les Mis' A Little Fall of Rain.

Eponine:  
Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius  
I don't feel any pain  
A little fall of rain  
Can hardly hurt me now  
You're here, that's all I need to know  
And you will keep me safe  
And you will keep me close  
And rain will make the flowers grow.

He grinned back at her and began singing Marius part.

Marius  
But you will live, 'Ponine - dear God above...  
If I could close your wounds with words of love...

Eponine  
Just hold me now, and let it be.  
Shelter me, comfort me...

Marius  
You would live  
A hundred years  
If I could show you how  
I won't desert you now...

Eponine  
The rain can't hurt me now  
This rain will wash away what's past  
And you will keep me safe  
And you will keep me close  
I'll sleep in your embrace at last  
The rain that brings you here  
Is Heaven-blessed!  
The skies begin to clear  
And I'm at rest  
A breath away from where you are  
I've come home from so far

She was getting more and more relaxed in his arms and eventually fell asleep before the end of the song. He finished it alone and kissed the top of her head.

Marius   
Hush-a-bye, dear Eponine  
You won't feel any pain  
A little fall of rain  
Can hardly hurt you now  
I'm Here

I will stay with you  
Till you are sleeping  
And rain  
Will make the flowers grow.

Maggie coughed to announce her presence and showed the two mugs of tea. He took his and smiled. She sat at the edge of the bed and stroked Louisa's foot:

"Quite a scare we had today, huh? Do you need anything?"

"I wanted to call Kurt away from her..."

Blaine was motioning to get up but Louisa grabbed him by the shirt still half asleep:

"Don't leave me! I'm afraid of what I might do if I'm alone."

"I'm not. Maggie is..."

Maggie interrupted him:

"You stay; I'll call Kurt. Anything in particular you want me to say?"

"Ask him to bring my pajamas and toothbrush."

She nodded and left the room.

xXxXx

It was an awkward day for Louisa; not only because of how much ashamed she was of herself, but for the other things that she had to do. Waking up next to Blaine and knowing she didn't even let him brush his teeth was just the beginning. Having Maggie standing as guard outside the bathroom while she showered was a remarkable point. But the love attack from a guilty Kurt and watching him call an even more apprehensive Burt was probably the worst. At least she had convinced them not to call her mother, who would be worried sick and not able to see her. She would tell her mother when they could be face to face and she could show her she was fine.

Like that, the day went by without her even noticing. It was already dark when Maggie knocked on her door:

"Lou? Can I have a word?"

"Of course, sweetie. Come in."

Maggie entered unusually shy and sat beside Louisa.

"I wanted to apologize..."

"What for?"

"For my malicious comment during rehearsal about mental disease and for leaving my blade lying around. I feel like it's my fault."

Louisa looked at her a little chocked:

"Maggie, please, if someone should be apologizing it should be me. I have trust issues... I should have told you about my condition; I mean, I knew it could happen and you should be warned. I'm very lucky to have a friend like you."

Maggie smiled:

"Friend?"

Louisa launched herself for a hug:

"Of course, silly."

Maggie went back to her serious face and got up to leave:

"I'll show you how great of a roommate I am and I'm going to sleep at my date's. Kurt doesn't want to leave you alone and I'm giving my room for Blaine. Those two can't be apart: Kurt rather sleep uncomfortably in our couch yesterday than go home alone."

Louisa got tomato red and Maggie saw that as a cue to go. Kurt's head appeared in her door not that long after:

"Hello boo; ready to go to bed with me?"

She chuckled:

"It's been a long time since we've done that. It reminds me of our childhood. But isn't it a little soon for us to be going to sleep?"

Kurt raised one eyebrow in a fabulous way:

"Who said anything about sleeping? Like when we were kids; there's gossip section first. I want to tell you some stuff, I want to hear all about you kicking that prick Brody's ass and we have to talk about yesterday."

"What about yesterday?"

"You must see a psychiatrist ASAP."

"I already advanced my appointment with Doctor Young and you can come with me if you want."

"I want to. And I'll be keeping you company until there."

"I'll love to have you around, pumpkin. But you can sleep with your boyfriend if you want to; I promise to keep my door open."

Kurt rolled his eyes and she laughed at him. He began to tickle her as vengeance:

"I was starting to feel rejected! First you call Blaine; now you're kicking me out of your bed."

She saw what was upsetting him and sat back up to hug him:

"Hey! Don't be jealous; you'll always be my number one pumpkin."

"Why did you call Blaine instead of me then?"

She sighed and moved uncomfortably. Kurt was still staring at her with quizzing eyes. She took his hand:

"Because Blaine confronts me. He wasn't afraid of me when I first got here and was hostile to him. I needed someone I could trust and who'd say no to me."

Kurt pursed his lips in a fond smile:

"I got so scared for you. I don't know what I'd have done if Blaine didn't get to save the day. I'm glad that you have finally got it all together between the two of you."

She lay lazily on her pillow with her eyelashes weighting a tone while smiling to her cousin. Kurt took some hair out of her face:

"It was big day, wasn't it? You're feeling tired."

She nodded and he adjusted the covers on top of her:

"So you lay down and I'll sing you a lullaby."

"A lullaby?"

"Kind of a lullaby; it'll give you nice dream nonetheless."

She smiled and closed her eyes. Kurt began to sing U2's MLK and the sweet tunes of his voice took her to a fabulous dreamland with no pain and no fear.

Sleep  
Sleep tonight  
And may your dreams  
Be realized  
If the thundercloud  
Passes rain  
So let it rain  
Rain down on him  
Hmm-mmm-mm  
So let it be  
Hmm-mmm-mm  
So let it be

Sleep  
Sleep tonight  
And may your dreams  
Be realized  
If the thundercloud  
Passes rain  
So let it rain  
Let it rain  
Rain on him

xXxXx

Brody could swear Blaine came out of thin air with that furious look. Raising his hands in surrender only made the boy's rage grow. Blaine was fuming when he almost yelled:

"It's all your fault, bastard!"

"Easy, Anderson. What have I done?"

Kurt had joined them but his attempts to calm his boyfriend down had proven flawed. Blaine got hid of Kurt's arms and approached Brody with a menacing posture:

"Louisa almost killed herself because of what you've done!"

"Louisa what?"

Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm and pulled him away while saying:

"Come on, honey; Louisa wouldn't like to know you've been telling this around. Especially not to Brody. Besides, I'm sure he's not the reason behind it all..."

Brody tried to run after them, but the couple entered a classroom and the teacher dismissed him. He tried calling Maggie and Louisa; both didn't answer him. He could reach Rachel, but she knew nothing about the subject.

A girl who took the same class as him asked if he wouldn't go to class and he decided he had nothing better to do. He tried to get his mind into the class, but his thoughts were constantly flying towards Louisa. His assignment for the class was to perform a song and he could think of only one: Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Whiters.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
It's not warm when she's away  
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
And she's always gone too long  
Anytime she goes away

While singing, he remembered every moment they've spent together.

Wonder this time where she's gone  
Wonder if she's gone to stay  
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
And this house just ain't no home  
Anytime she goes away

And I know, I know, I know, I know,  
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,  
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,  
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,  
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,  
I know, I know,  
Hey, I oughtta leave young thing alone  
But ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
Only darkness every day  
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
And this house just ain't no home  
Anytime she goes away  
Anytime she goes away  
Anytime she goes away  
Anytime she goes away

He might not have solved his feelings for Rachel; but one thing was sure: he loved Louisa.


	13. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers of Next to Normal.

"Other than your little incident, Ms. Hummel, your health is perfect."

Louisa smiled to the Asian doctor; but Kurt was unease in his chair:

"I'm sorry, Doctor Young, but how can she be considered healthy after what she did? With all due respect Lou; but you tried to take your life away!"  
The psychiatrist shared a meaningful look with Louisa and then turned to Kurt:  
"My point, Mr. Hummel, is that, besides the known psychological condition, Louisa has no other health problem. We had already talked that moving to New York might cause her to have to change her medication; but until recently it hadn't been necessary."  
Louisa took her cousin's hand:  
"Kurt, I know you worry about me; but I hadn't been irresponsible. I came to New York with a recommendation from my Brazilian doctor to look for Dr. Young and I've been keeping my appointments. There's nothing to be uneasy about."  
Doctor Young cleared her throat:  
"Actually, Louisa; even though we don't consider you a severe case, there are some precautions that need to be taken. Because you haven't completed your suicide attempt and you called for help; I wouldn't consider a hospitalization for you. However, we can't treat it lightly: it was a suicide attempt and that are some standards measures that should be taken."  
Louisa was taken by surprise:  
"What? What precisely does that mean?"  
The doctor took a deep breath and smiled:  
"First of all, I highly recommend that you take a time off from work and college. Don't worry; I'll write to them explaining the situation and I'm sure you can compensate this time later. And now to the second and more complicated thing: you need constant vigilance from now on."  
Louisa received the news the wrong way:  
"What? Are you telling me that I need a baby-sitter from now on? I'm a grown-up woman!"  
Kurt held her hand tight:  
"Calm down, boo. I'm sure this is just for a while and it's with your best interest in mind."  
The doctor turned to her wearing the same sympathetic smile as Kurt:  
"Yes Louisa; we'll have closer appointments to reevaluate that. But I can't, as you psychiatrist, let you without supervision for now. I don't think you need a hospital, but you have a loving family that cares about you. Use this time to feel protected and loved by them. Let them help you. Mr. Hummel, can I write you down as the responsible for Mrs. Hummel?"  
Kurt nodded.

xXxXx

Louisa was fuming. What did they think she was? She had gone through a lot in her life and she knew how to keep her head high and her nose clean. She felt a caring arm passing around her middle. She turned and saw Kurt's kind eyes focused on her:  
"I know this must suck for you."  
She rolled her eyes:  
"You have no idea."  
"You're right; I can't imagine what you are going through. But I love you and care for you more than you can figure. Put yourself in my shoes: I see you suffering but I have no idea what I can do to help. Can you do this for me? Can you let me take care of you for a while?"  
She couldn't resist the grin forming in her lips. She captured him in a hug:  
"Oh Kurtie! What would I do without you?"  
He chuckled:  
"One thing I know for sure: you'd be much less fabulous. Now; come on. Let's go meet with the other people that care about you and that are worried sick at Coffee'N'Stuff right now."  
Kurt had practically to push her in the book-store/coffee-house. Seeing all those people reunited and waiting for her with eager eyes made her very anxious and self-aware. Maggie came down the stairs and took Lou's arms in hers, patting her hand in a reaffirming way. Once she got upstairs to Coffee'N'Stuff, Blaine, Finn and Eleanor had goofy smiles on and were sitting opposite to a plate with her favorite sandwich and a large glass of what she assumed to be fresh brewed Chai Latte. She knew she must be blushing a bright tone of scarlet:  
"You guys! That's too much love for just one girl."  
Blaine winked:  
"You deserve it. What would we do without you to give us our daily reality check?"  
She smiled and soon helped herself with the sandwich to avoid the ton of question she was sure were soon to come. Kurt seemed to have catch Blaine's inquisitive eyes, because he started telling the others about their appointment:  
"Well, as you all know, Lou is a Hummel; which means that she'll be fine and that nothing will get her down that easily. However, we had a big scare and there are some precautions we should take. First, Lou is taking a time off from work and college. I hope that's alright with you Mrs. Smitty; the doctor wrote you a letter to excuse Lou from work."  
The kind lady nodded in agreement:  
"Even if it wasn't a doctor's recommendation; I'd offer Louisa some days off to clean her head. I'm glad she'll have some time off NYADA too."  
Kurt smiled and went on:  
"That's not all: Louisa will also have to be watched 24/7. I'm sorry for saying that out loud without consulting you first, Lou; but I know what you'd have said and now you must accept that you need help. All these people here love you very much and are willing to help."  
Louisa nodded and looked down. Kurt took a deep breath and grabbed her hands to catch her attention:  
"There's one other thing, boo: I know I agreed in being the one responsible for you, but I can't be with you the whole time. Even if we took shifts, we would be missing too much work and school to be with you. Not that we won't do it gladly; but I'd like you to consider spending some time with my dad in Ohio or some time with Grandma in New Hampshire."  
Lou was a little exasperated when she replied:  
"See? That's why I couldn't agree with this baby-sitting thing. I don't want to be a burden in anybody's life. I know how we all are too busy here and how I would mess up with everybody's life. I don't want to go stay with Grandma and risk getting stressed with her and end up screwing everything up again. And Uncle Burt; I'd love to spend time with him and Carole, but I know they'd have to change all their schedule. I can be okay by myself; I promise. I can call you every day, Kurt. And we can fix something up for the nights Maggie doesn't spend home."  
Eleanor cleared her throat:  
"If I may speak in this family business; I'd like to present you another option. As you know, I live alone and I have a guest room. I'll have to hire someone to be on Louisa's place for as long as she needs to be up on her feet again. I only have to be here some times a week, for what she can come with me. I'd love to have Louisa over. As long as she wants to and Kurt trusts me to be responsible for her. I'd love some company for a change..."  
Louisa felt her eyes getting moist:  
"You'd do that for me, Eleanor?"  
The old lady gave the girl one of her irresistible smiles:  
"Maggie, put that music I asked you on the jukebox, please."  
Maggie went on to the sound system, for which Eleanor insisted on calling it an old-fashion name, and hit play on a song apparently previously selected. The familiar first chords of Next to Normal's Make Up Your Mind filled the room and Eleanor began to sing along with it making everybody (but Louisa) admired by her beautiful soprano voice. 

Doctor Madden:  
Walk with me...  
Walk with me.  
Go all the way down—  
Down a long flight of stairs...  
Go step by step into  
The darkness down there.  
Walk with me...  
Down a hall,  
A hall that you know—  
At the end there's a door,  
It's a door that you've never  
Laid eyes on before...  
Open the door...  
Open the door.  
[Spoken]  
Can you hear me, Louisa?

Louisa could do nothing but smile at the kindness Eleanor saved for her. Her feelings were a mixture of gratefulness and a feeling she didn't deserve all this.

Diana: [Spoken]  
Yes.

Doctor Madden: [Spoken]  
Are you nervous?

Diana: [Spoken]  
No.

Doctor Madden: [Spoken]  
Good. Now.  
[Sung]  
Make up your mind  
To explore yourself.  
Make up your mind—  
You have stories to tell.  
We'll search in your past  
For what sorrows may last,  
Then make up your mind  
To be well.

Make up your mind  
That you're strong enough.  
Make up your mind—  
Let the truth be revealed.  
Admit what you've lost  
And live with the cost...  
At times it does hurt  
To be healed.

Soon, she began singing with the lady as Catch Me I'm Falling was mashed-up with the first song. A stream of tears was rolling down her face but she didn't care.

Doctor Madden: [Spoken]  
In our first session you told me...  
... That talking through your history...

Diana:  
Catch me I'm falling...

Doctor Madden: [Spoken]  
... It feels like it's about someone else.

Diana:  
Please hear me calling...

Doctor Madden: [Spoken]  
Make it about you.

Diana:  
Catch me I'm falling for good.

Doctor Madden:  
Make up your mind,  
You want clarity.  
Take what you know,  
And make it make sense.  
Just face what you fear,  
And soon it comes clear—  
The visions are just your defense.

Make up your mind   
You can live at last.  
[Diana: Catch me]  
Make up your mind  
To be fully alive.  
[Diana: I'm falling...]  
Embrace what's inside  
Replace what has died,  
[Diana: Falling...]  
Then make up your mind  
You'll survive.  
[Diana: Falling...]

Diana:  
Catch me I'm falling...  
Catch me I'm falling...  
Flying headfirst into fate.

Catch me I'm falling...  
Please hear me calling...  
Catch me before it's too late.  
Catch me before it's too late.  
Catch me before it's too late.  
Catch me I'm falling...  
Catch me I'm falling...  
Catch me I'm falling...

xXxXx

Moments like those were what made Finn realize how lucky and without problems he was. He had seen a whole side of Louisa, he couldn't even imagine existed just by the conviviality they had. The world was a nasty place but he only began to see it in his senior year in High-School.  
He was so lost in thoughts that he bumped into a girl on his way out of the shop. He turned to her to apologize and had a huge surprise:  
"Rachel?"  
She was unusually shy and uneasy around him:  
"I hope it's okay; but I heard the news about Louisa and I wanted to check on you guys."  
Those rare moments of complete lack of selfishness from Rachel still caught him off-guard and remembered him all the reasons he first fell in love with her. He answered with a half-smile:  
"That's very kind of you. Even more if we consider your history with her..."  
Rachel smirked:  
"I must confess I'm here more for you, Kurt and Blaine than for her."  
He smiled and she rubbed his arm:  
"How are you?"  
He nodded:  
"I'm fine. It's all too new for me. I'm beginning to realize how luck and privileged I am. Moments like this make us more aware of life and its finitude; don't them?"  
She smiled that smile he knew she was proud of him:  
"Yes, they do. How about Kurt and Blaine? How are they?"  
"They'll be fine; so will Louisa. It was a big scare but apparently there won't be severe consequences. You should go up there and talk to them."  
Rachel frowned:  
"I was kind of trying to avoid upsetting Louisa. I'll stay around in case they leave alone."  
"Okay; your call. See you, Rachel."  
He had taken a few steps when she called him in a feeble voice. He just turned to her. Her eyes were very deep as she spoke:  
"I want you to know you can count on me. As a friend. You'll always have me, no matter what."  
He pursed his lips:  
"Thank you. You too... I mean, I'm still sore; but I definitively care about you."  
Without another word, he turned around and took his way.

xXxXx

Brody entered the room and two sets of eyes turned to him instead of just the ones he was waiting for. Finn turned to Louisa but she raised her hand stopping him from saying anything. Brody raised his own hands in a sign of peace:  
"I just want to talk. I've heard a lot of stories and gossips about you around NYADA and I just wanted to hear your version of the story."  
Louisa swallowed hard and turned to Finn:  
"Finn, you've been a sweetheart; but, if it's not too much to ask, could you give us some privacy?"  
Finn had a suspicious look on:  
"Are you sure, Lou?"  
She nodded:  
"It's not like he's a stranger. Eleanor is in the next room anyway."  
Finn left them alone not without first staring at Brody with a murder look. He didn't care; all he wanted was to see Louisa with his own eyes to make sure she was fine. She wasn't smiling, but he didn't expect a warm welcome anyway. He signed to sit on the bed where Finn had been and she nodded. He tried his best to put his thoughts in words:  
"So... I'm guessing there's a reason why I never knew about that while we were together..."  
She sighed but then stared deeply into his eyes:  
"Yes, Brody. It's not something new; it's something I've been dealing with since I can remember. I've built my walls as a form of protection; sometimes they stay on for far too long. You see; I could never find it in myself to trust you completely. And I happened to be right, don't you agree?"  
He budged uncomfortably and she interrupted him before he could say anything:  
"Look, I'm not looking for a fight in here. We had lots of occasions and reasons for that, right? I'm just putting all the crap aside in my life and being sincere. We only live once and I'll prize my life."  
In an impulse, he took her hand like he wanted since he heard about her suicide:  
"Putting all the crap aside: I miss you. I know you have all the reasons to hate me and not to trust me; but I care about you."  
"I don't hate you."  
He was surprised:  
"You don't?"  
"Brody, we didn't work out. It's over between us and I found out we had few things holding us together. We had great moments; but now it's over."  
He gasped while trying to fight his tears:  
"I don't want us to be."  
She looked at him with kind but strict eyes:  
"But Brody; we hardly know each other."  
"That's exactly my point! I only began to see you after we were apart and the more I saw the more I liked. I want to get to know you; I want to help you."  
She was about to protest, but he stopped her. He took his phone out of his pocket and hit play on a song. She was pursing her lips in an annoyed face and he just kept asking her to wait. The song he chose was There's a World from Next to Normal and he sang his solo from the play. 

There's a world...  
There's a world I know.  
A place we can go  
Where the pain will go away  
There's a world  
Where the sun shines  
Each day.

She listened attentively, but her face was unreadable. He couldn't put more soul into it than he was already. He could only hope for the best.

There's a world...  
There's a world out there.  
I'll show you just where,  
And in time I know you'll see  
There's a world where  
We can be free  
Come with me.  
Come with me.  
There's a world where  
We can be free...  
Come with me.

As it finished, she answered him still with a blank face:  
"That was beautiful, Brody."  
He smiled:  
"We'll wait for you. I can't do this play without my lucky charm Natalie. And I hope that you can find it in yourself to give me a second chance."  
She took a deep breath in what felt like the longest two seconds of Brody's life. She then turned to him with moist eyes:  
"I'm sorry, Brody. But now I must give myself a second chance."

xXxXx

Kurt could barely believe his ears: Finn had called him to tell Brody had gone to talk to Louisa and she accepted it. He was already planning on visiting her after work; but now he'd be flying there on his rage's wings. Isabelle was aware of his recent family problems, so that meant he could just leave work and find Brody on Eleanor's lobby where they'd have a talk man to man. After all; no one messes with the Hummels.  
As he hoped, he bumped into Brody at the lobby and the boy was in shock when he saw him. Kurt smirked:  
"Surprised, Brody? I thought we could have a little chat..."  
"S-Sure. Anytime, Kurt."  
Kurt wouldn't be fooled by the boy's coy face:  
"What about right now? Can we take a walk?"  
Brody nodded and started following him outside the building. There was no reason for Kurt not to go straight to the point:  
"Look Brody, you know how much Louisa means to me and you must have guessed by now that she's not at her best."  
Brody turned to him looking offended:  
"Kurt, I know I've made mistakes but I'm not mean. I'd never come here just to play with Louisa's feelings at a time like this."  
Kurt was skeptical:  
"I don't know, Brody. You deluded Rachel for a long time before the truth came out and you had to deal with the consequences. Give me one good reason I should trust you and let you even get near my cousin?"  
"Because I love her!"  
Kurt didn't want to believe what he had just heard. However, Brody's eyes weren't hiding anything and he looked defeated. The boy looked back at him with pleading eyes:  
"I may have realized it too late; but that doesn't mean my feelings aren't true. I was confused for never having solved the whole thing with Rachel. But now I have! I've been hanging out with Rachel and I see how great of a friend she can be to me. I really missed her; but now I see that her heart belongs to Finn and that's never going to change. However, I miss Louisa. I think of her every minute of every day. Now I know I didn't know her at all; but she has mesmerized me and I don't want to give up on her. I'll give her a time; but I'm waiting for her to continue with the Next to Normal's rehearsals. I want to help, Kurt, I really do."  
Kurt had pretty much the same trust issues as Louisa. He knew Brody could come up with pretty words; but how much of his little speech was true?

xXxXx

"Eleanor; can I have a word with you?"  
The lady turned her eyes from the TV to look at her guest:  
"Of course, my dear. Busy day today, huh? Is Kurt already gone?"  
Louisa was caught off-guard by Eleanor's kindness and measured her next words with more care:  
"I just walked him to the door. But it's not about it that I wanted to talk to you..."  
The old lady continued to stare at her with that ever so adorable smile on. Louisa walked a little closer and risked taking her hand:  
"Listen, first I want you to know how grateful I am for you having me over. I know I can be a burden; not to mention a constant reminder of your son..."  
Eleanor cut her off:  
"Darling, as my son did; you have a condition that's absolute not your fault. It may be a little selfish on my behalf; but helping you eases my pain for not being able to have taken care of Warren when he needed me."  
Louisa took a deep breath: this was far more emotional than she had predicted.   
"Anyway, I'm still pissed out that you let Brody come to see me without asking me first if it was okay."  
"But he was your boyfriend..."  
"He was! And you know pretty well why we have broken up. I don't trust him and I felt betrayed that you let him in."  
Eleanor looked at her with a compliant face:  
"You'll get over it. You two are young and great passions that leave us torn are part of that phase."  
"I'm sorry; this is not a phase. This is my life and I know cheating when I see it. I think I can choose for myself whom to trust. You can't choose for me! As you couldn't choose for Warren his sexual preferences!"  
Eleanor was silent from the shock. Louisa, however, had no pity this time:  
"Just because we have something that makes our lives more difficult; doesn't mean that we have chosen to live that way or that we can't make the right decisions for our lives!"  
"You don't know what you are talking about!"  
"No! You don't know what burden we have to carry."  
Louisa had reached that point when her blood had boiled and she lost control of herself. Before she was aware of it; she was singing You Don't Know from Next to Normal and dancing around the living-room with one of Warren's pictures.

Do you wake up in the morning  
And need help to lift your head?  
Do you read obituaries  
And feel jealous of the dead?  
It's like living on a cliffside  
Not knowing when you'll dive...  
Do you know?,  
Do you know?  
What it's like to die alive?

When a world that once had color  
Fades to white and grey and black...  
When tomorrow terrifies you  
But you'll die if you look back.

You don't know,  
I know you don't know.  
You say that you're hurting—  
It sure doesn't show.  
You don't know...  
It lays me so low  
When you say let go  
And I say  
You don't know...

The sensation that you're screaming  
But you never make a sound,  
Or the feeling that you're falling  
But you never hit the ground—  
It just keeps on rushing at you  
Day by day by day by day...  
You don't know  
You don't know  
What it's like to live that way.

Like a refugee, a fugitive  
Forever on the run...  
If it gets me, it will kill me—  
But I don't know what I've done.

xXxXx

Meanwhile, Brody was pacing around the rehearsal room and waiting that Kurt would show up. He didn't know what side would speak louder: his family loyalty or his professionalism. To his relief, the door opened and the pale boy walked in to join them.  
Brody smiled trying to be sincere:  
"I'm glad you came, Kurt. I needed to start rehearsals again or it won't be ready until my graduation time."  
Kurt frowned:  
"So much for caring about Louisa's health..."  
Brody knew that reacting to that provocation wasn't the best he could do. He swallowed hard and answered with the least of irony he could manage:  
"I want to get everything ready for when she comes back."  
Kurt sarcastically snorted and Brody had it:  
"Are you saying that I don't care about her?"  
Kurt waved it off with a superior look:  
"Understand it as you want..."  
Those sarcastic diva ways of the Hummels were hot and exciting in Louisa; in Kurt they were plainly annoying. Having passed his limits far behind, Brody ran towards Kurt to deliver his answer face to face:  
"I can help her in ways no one else can."  
Kurt's rage was rising too:  
"Are you saying we don't know how to help her?"  
"I'm saying I want to give her a LIFE! Not a life despite her disease; a real one, a normal one!"  
Kurt stared at him with wide eyes:  
"You don't understand; she CAN'T!"  
It was Brody's turn to snort:  
"Has she ever tried?"  
Kurt exhaled giving up:  
"You don't know her; you've never seen it. It's part of her..."  
Brody still felt like screaming:  
"You are treating her like a freaking baby!"  
Kurt looked back insulted:  
"Who are you to tell how we should treat her?"  
At this moment; Ned, the sound operator, had come in with his head-phones on and heard nothing of what they were discussing. He must have thought that, from the looks on their faces, they must be rehearsing I Am the One and he put it on to play.  
Brody chuckled at the coincidence but he was soon surprised by Kurt beginning to sing it. 

Dan:  
Can you tell me  
What it is you're afraid of?  
And can you tell me  
Why I'm afraid it's me?

Can I touch you?  
We've been fine for so long now,  
How can something go wrong  
That I can't see?

'Cause I'm holding on,  
And I won't let go.  
I just thought you should know...

I am the one who knows you,  
I am the one who cares,  
I am the one who's always been there.  
I am the one who's helped you,  
And if you think that  
I just don't give a damn,  
Then you just don't know who I am.

Dan:  
Could you leave me?

He wouldn't be left behind and took Gabe's part at the right times.

Gabe:  
Hey dad, it's me.

Dan:  
Could you let me go under?

Gabe:  
Why can't you see?

Dan:  
Will you watch as I drown,

Both:  
And wonder why?

Dan:  
Are you bleeding?

Gabe:  
Are you waiting, are you wishing  
Are you wanting all that she can't give?

Dan:  
Are you bruised? Are you broken?

Gabe:  
Are you hurting, are you healing  
Are you hoping for a life to live?

Dan:  
Does it help you to know

Both:  
Well, so am I.

Dan:  
Tell me what to do

Gabe:  
Look at me.

Dan:  
Tell me who to be

Gabe:  
Look at me.

Dan:  
So I can see

Both:  
What you see.

Dan:  
I am the one who'll hold you,

Gabe:  
I am...

Dan:  
I am the one who'll stay,

Gabe:  
I am...

Dan:  
I am the one

Both:  
I won't walk away.

Dan:  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
I am the one who'll heal you

Gabe:  
I am...

Dan:  
And now you tell me that  
I won't give a damn

Gabe  
You don't give a damn.

Dan:  
But I know you know

Both:  
Who I am.  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Dan:  
That's who

Both:  
I am.  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Dan:  
That's who

Both:  
I am.  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Dan:  
That's who I am.  
'Cause I'm holding on...

It was the most intense performance they had ever or would ever do. It was like they could hear Louisa at the background yelling 'you don't know' at Eleanor.

Diana:  
You say you hurt like me...

Gabe:  
And I won't let go...

Diana:  
You say that you know...

Dan and Gabe:  
Yeah I thought you should know.

Diana:  
Oh... You don't know

Dan and Gabe:  
I am the one who knows you,

Diana:  
I know you don't know.

Dan and Gabe:  
I am the one who cares,

Diana  
You say that you're hurting,

Dan and Gabe:  
I am the one

Diana:  
I know it ain't so.

Dan and Gabe:  
Who's always been there.

Diana:  
You don't know.

Dan and Gabe:  
Yeah yeah yeah  
I am the one who needs you,

Diana:  
Why don't you just go?

Dan and Gabe:  
And if you think that

Diana:  
'Cause it lays me low

Dan and Gabe:  
I just don't give a damn

Diana:  
When you say

Dan:  
Then you just don't know  
Who I am...

Diana:  
You don't know...

Dan:  
Who I am...

Diana:  
You don't know...

Dan:  
Who I am...

Gabe:  
You just don't know who I am.

xXxXx

Rachel didn't know what to expect of Finn upon her first visit to his new work. The karaoke hours at Callbacks used to be crowded and filled with NYADA students. She had joined a group of girls from her acting class and they were off to a happy hour.  
As soon as she crossed the door to the bar, Finn's and her eyes met. She wasn't expecting it and him even less. Having drop the tray he was carrying; it was a good excuse for him to look at the floor and for her to join her girl friends searching for a table. A couple of extra minutes to rehearse what she'd say to him weren't bad either.  
The moment of actually saying something almost didn't came. He was keeping himself busy at the bar and she would do anything not to be the one going to buy the drinks. However, she could feel his eyes on her and she was pretty sure he saw her looking too. The moment she was avoiding came almost as they were leaving. Sarah turned to her in a clumsy drunk way:  
"Okay, Rachel! It's your turn to buy us drinks and flirt with the cute new bartender. We all have done it by now."  
Rachel didn't want to tell the "new cute bartender" was actually her ex-boyfriend and currently discovered to be the love of her life. Nor she wanted them to know that she was feeling like killing all of them bitches for having hit on Finn. She resigned to giving them a polite smile and walking towards Finn.  
He saw her coming but didn't have where to hide. She tried to break the ice with a sincere smile:  
"Busy night, huh?"  
"Yeah; but I like it. It helps keep your mind off things..."  
She could see he was embarrassed and she felt weird and distant. For the first time in months, she really felt threatened to lose him for good:  
"Not only have the drinks been keeping you busy... I see the ladies are giving you a rough time too. Maybe not that rough at all..."  
He measured her with his eyes, but then engaged in the conversation:  
"I'm actually not thinking about dating now; I'm trying to focus on my studies. You, on the other hand..."  
That was enough to make her burst:  
"Meaning what, Finn?"  
"That you are all out and about with your new friends. I bet you all came here to flirt and find a hook-up to show off to each other!"  
She was about to protest when Sarah reached them after a drunk walk:  
"Wow! Nice job, Rach! The cute guy and you seem to have a great chemistry. You two are on fire! I'm sure you'd certainly win the duet competition of the night."  
Finn was trying to discourage the girl of the idea; but Sarah wouldn't listen to anything but the sound of her voice:  
"Who wants to see Rachel and the cute guy perform a duet? Come on, guys! RACHEL! RACHEL! RACHEL!"  
She had managed to get the whole bar chanting Rachel's name and a guy with a manager look threw a dirt look towards Finn. Rachel turned to him sympathetically:  
"You better do it or you'll get into trouble..."  
Finn snorted:  
"Fine! But I get to choose the song."  
He grabbed her hand and walked determined towards the stage. She was hurt by the way he wouldn't even look at her. He went to the microphone and announced them:  
"Good evening Callbacks. My name is Finn Hudson and this is Rachel Berry. We are entering the duet competition singing George Michael's Freedom '90."  
The first chords began to sound and Finn started to sing in a way that Rachel knew to be pointing fingers at her and their failed relationship. 

I won't let you down  
I will not give you up  
Gotta have some faith in the sound  
It's the one good thing that I've got  
I won't let you down  
So please don't give me up  
Because I would really, really love to stick around

Heaven knows I was just a young boy  
Didn't know what I wanted to be  
I was every little hungry schoolgirls pride and joy  
And I guess it was enough for me  
To win the race? A prettier face!  
Brand new clothes and a big fat place  
On your rock and roll tv  
But today the way I play the game is not the same  
No way  
Think I'm gonna get me some happy

Feeling outraged, she joined the duet pointing out that it takes two to tango and two to break a relationship.

I think there's something you should know  
I think it's time I told you so  
There's something deep inside of me  
There's someone else I've got to be  
Take back your picture in a frame  
Take back your singing in the rain  
I just hope you understand  
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

Soon enough, it wasn't about performing anymore but about discussing their relationship

Chorus  
All we have to do now  
Is take these lies and make them true somehow  
All we have to see  
Is that I don't belong to you  
And you don't belong to me

Freedom

I won't let you down

Freedom

I will not give you up

Freedom

Gotta have some faith in the sound

You've gotta give for what you take

Heaven knows we sure had some fun boy  
What a kick just a buddy and me  
We had every big-shot goodtime band on the run boy  
We were living in a fantasy  
We won the race  
Got out of the place  
I went back home got a brand new face  
For the boys on mtv  
But today the way I play the game has got to change  
Oh yeah  
Now I'm gonna get myself happy

I think there's somethig you should know  
I think it's time I stopped the show  
There's something deep inside of me  
There's someone I forgot to be  
Take back your picture in a frame  
Take back your singing in the rain  
I just hope you understand  
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

Chorus

Well it looks like the road to heaven  
But it feels like the road to hell  
When I knew which side my bread was buttered  
I took the knife as well  
Posing for another picture  
Everybody's got to sell  
But when you shake your ass  
They notice fast  
And some mistakes were build to last

That's what you get

I say that's what you get

That's what you get for changing your mind

And after all this time  
I just hope you understand  
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

I'll hold on to my freedom  
May not be what you want from me  
Just the way it's got to be  
Lose the face now  
I've got to live

They finish it under a loud round of applause. However, neither really felt like talking to the other. Finn was called to a room in the back by his manager and Rachel girl friends said they were leaving.  
Rachel stood sitting at the bar and watching it get empty as she waited for Finn. It took several minutes before he came from the back with a furious look on his face. He walked closer to her and spoke looking straight into her eyes:  
"I hope you are happy: I just got fired for our little performance. But here; you can take a trophy home as you like: we won the competition."

xXxXx

Apologizing is never a simple thing to do, but Louisa knew it was absolutely necessary. Gathering all her courage, she knocked on Eleanor's door for a talk. After a gentle 'you can come in'; she opened the door for the lady's bedroom.  
Eleanor was sitting at a vanity table but grinned at the girl through the mirror. Her infinite kindness made Louisa feel even guiltier:  
"Eleanor, I needed to talk to you. I mean... Okay, let's cut the chase: I'm here to apologize."  
The old lady turned in the sit to be face to face with the girl. She smiling took both of Lou's hands in hers:  
"I knew you would; you are a good girl. Your anger wasn't towards me; I understood that."  
Louisa budged uncomfortably:  
"I'm sick and tired of hurting the people I love the most and who have nothing to do with the way I am..."  
Eleanor interrupted her:  
"Darling, you have to keep in mind that the way you are is what makes people love you the most: your qualities and your flaws. Warren was just the same. The people who love you want to help you at your worst and rejoice with you at your best. That's why, my angel, I think you have more people to apologize too."  
"Can I hug you?"  
"You can always hug me, Louisa."

xXxXx

Spending the evening alone with Kurt just cuddling on the couch and watching TV was Blaine's favorite time of his week. That was why he grumbled when Kurt got out of his arms to go answer the door. Who on Earth would knock on their door at that time?  
Kurt opened the door and began to laugh hysterically:  
"Blee, honey, you've got to see this. Come here; I guess it's for you."  
"What do you mean you guess?"  
Blaine got out of the couch and when he saw who was outside their door, he understood all of Kurt's reactions. Their surprise visitor was Louisa; however, how she was dressed was the real surprise: she had gelled all her hair down to her head in a tight way, she was wearing an argyle cardigan with a matching bowtie and her pants were rolled up, showing sockless feet in navy shoes.   
Blaine was also laughing out loud:  
"Have I gotten a clone?"  
She smiled in a way that reached her eyes:  
"This is my crooked way of saying thank you to my savior. And now I'd like to do something else the Anderson style."  
They all walked in and she sat the couple comfortably on the couch. She pulled a stool and sat in the middle of the living room, facing them. She took a deep breath and looked at them:  
"You two have been an essential part of my life since I've got in New York. You have given me nothing but love and I know I've not been fair and I have thrown a lot of anger towards both of you."  
Kurt began to say something but she signed him to wait and went on:  
"Tonight all I wanted was to say thank you in the best way I can talk about my feelings and the best way you can understand: singing. I've made a little mash-up from two of our favorite musicals. So here it's: Something Good from the Sound of Music and For Good from Wicked; mashed-up together to show you two how much I'm grateful to have met you."  
She began a simple a capella version of her mash-up with eyes moist from emotion. Blaine looked at his boyfriend to discover that a furtive tear was already dropping from Kurt's eyes. He smiled and kissed the boy's temple. 

Perhaps I had a wicked childhood

Perhaps I had a miserable youth

But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past  
There must have been a moment of truth

For here you are, standing there, loving me  
Whether or not you should  
So somewhere in my youth or childhood  
I must have done something good

And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness  
For the things I've done you blame me for  
But then, I guess we know  
There's blame to share:  
And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit  
As it passes a sun  
Like a stream that meets a boulder  
Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?  
But because I knew you  
I must have done something ...  
Something good

As soon as the last note was finished; Kurt was already all over Louisa hugging every inch of his cousin he could reach:  
"I love you, boo. Promise never to hurt yourself again. I love moments like this."  
Blaine smiled at the vision, pleased with himself to be joining that beautiful family. Lou found a gap between Kurt's arms to mouth a 'thank you' to Blaine. He just smiled; it was his way of saying: 'relax sis, I'll always get your back'.


	14. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

"Please, Kurt! Pretty please!"

"I've said no, Louisa! This is the first Valentine's Day Blaine and I can really spend together and I'm not wasting it."

Callbacks wasn't at its busiest so Blaine could enjoy the two cousins entering the restaurant for lunch and wearing their fighting attitudes. He approached them to hug his boyfriend:

"What are you two arguing about this time?"

Louisa looked at him in search of help:

"Blaine, could you please convince my thickheaded cousin that you two joining me and Maggie for singing at V-Day is a good idea? We could all use the cash..."

"And could you tell my dear cousin that I deserve a special Valentine's night with my boyfriend without eye-surgery, Gap managers or being broken up?"

Blaine scratched his neck with a guilty look on his face. Kurt turned his grimace from Louisa to Blaine:

"What's wrong, Blee?"

"I'll have to work anyway on Valentine's Day."

Kurt was clearly disappointed and Blaine felt his stomach doing a twist. He knew Kurt wasn't mad at him; but he felt guilty anyway. He tried to hug Kurt in the most intimate way his workplace would allow:

"I'm sorry, gorgeous; it's that Valentine's Day is one of the busiest of the year. If I don't come; there'll be consequences for me."

Kurt was still pouting, but seemed to understand:

"I don't blame you, honey; I just wanted our night to be special."

"It can still be special even if it's on another night. The important thing is that we are together and that we love each other."

Louisa found it a good time to intervene:

"If I may... The sign we just saw outside said that they are looking for a singing quartet to be the main attraction on Valentine's night. You two could join me and Maggie. That way you still spend the night together; we'll have some fun and we got to leave home with a couple of bucks more than when we entered. Please say yes; Kurtie..."

Kurt rolled his eyes:

"Alright; I'll do it. What do you have in mind that's easy to rehearse and we all know the lyrics for sure?"

Louisa had a triumphant smirk on:

"Isn't it obvious, my also-British-worshiper cousin? The Beatles! We could be Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and use it to attract more customers. We'll be a place for singles to meet and for couples to sing and dance together to the Fabulous Four's love songs. What do you think?"

Blaine raised his hand to fist-bump her:

"I'll tell my manager about it right away."

xXxXx

Rachel was concentrated on her book in the library when a pamphlet fell between her and the play she was reading. Confused, she looked up and found Brody smirking in a way that showed he was up to no good. She checked the pamphlet to see what it was all about. Why would Brody be so interested in a party for singles on Valentine's Day at Callbacks? She teased him:

"Already tired of hooking up with every girl at NYADA? I don't want to spoil it for you, but I don't think you'll not find a very different public at Callbacks that day."

"You know I only have eyes for one girl now. Read it!"

"I've read it! What's so special about a Beatles cover group?"

He chuckled and bent down so his face was inches closer from hers:

"And do you know who the Sgt. Peppers are?"

"The Beatles? Oh my God! Is Paul McCartney in New York?"

She didn't like when people face palmed in front of her; she didn't like the feeling that she was wrong. Brody looked at her with sparkling eyes:

"These little beetles we are talking about are no less than: Kurt, Blaine, Maggie and Louisa."

"Oh! I see."

Her feud with Louisa had not ended, although they've both learned to be polite with each other since none of them started dating the other's boyfriend after the break-ups. Nevertheless, watching Louisa perform, Brody drooling for her and other couples making out wasn't Rachel's idea of a good Valentine's night. Besides, lately she had learned to care for Brody like for a brother and she feared for his heart:

"Brody... I don't think this is the best idea. Your chances with Louisa are less than thin; why put your heart out there to be broken?"

"Because, dear Rachel, my heart will be nothing but very happy at the end of the night. And so will yours."

"Okay; we've been through this a million times: we're not getting back together..."

He interrupted her with a laugh:

"Don't flatter yourself, princess. I want Louisa and you want Finn. Where would a single shy guy with a fresh wound in his heart be on Valentine's Day other than with his brother and cousin?"

Brody's eyes were full of hope, but Rachel didn't have the same faith. The last time she was with Finn at Callbacks had been anything but positive. Anyway, she believed he'd be on some bar finding a busty blond to hook-up with.

xXxXx

"Hello and welcome to this wonderful night here at Callbacks. We are the Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and we'll be your hosts for the evening. My name is Blaine Anderson and if you want to sign up to sing you just need to talk to me. So now, for the happy hearts lonely or together – or for the hearts that are looking for being happy: The Sargent Pepper's!"

Louisa, Kurt and Maggie joined him on the stage with matching colorful military jackets. Finn was glad that Kurt had convinced him to join them on that Valentine's Day. He was still blue for having lost Rachel, but too wounded to try to get back with her. Kurt had proven to be the best brother a guy could hope for on these last days in New York.

Truth be told, he had only moved there because of Rachel. Sure NYU was a much better school than Lima's community college; but Lima's lifestyle suited him better. He was getting a good enough education to become a teacher in Ohio. However, Rachel had thaught him to dream higher and he had learned. Then, at the moment he was feeling his loneliest, he finally understood the meaning of the word family. Kurt was there for him, Blaine was there for him and, surprisingly, he could almost call Louisa his second mother.

It was twenty years ago today,  
Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play,  
They've been going in and out of style  
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile.

They band had already began to sing on the stage and caught everyone's attention. Everyone's but Finn's. At that precise moment, two people had crossed the door of the bar and Finn couldn't take his eyes off them. He saw when Rachel and Brody found a reserved table for themselves and when the boy pulled a chair for Rachel to sit in.

So may I introduce to you  
The act you've known for all these years  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

With a disgusted sigh, Finn turned his eyes away from the scene and back to the stage. Louisa had also seen it and winked at him. He grinned back to the girl. Finally beginning to pay attention, he saw that the four voices on the stage matched quite well during their version of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The audience seemed cheerful and entertained. He took a deep breath hoping it could be a peaceful and entertaining night for him too.

We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band  
We hope you will enjoy the show,  
We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band  
Sit back and let the evening go.

Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely,  
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band  
It's wonderful to be here  
It's certainly a thrill  
You're such a lovely audience  
We'd like to take you home with us  
We'd love to take you home

I don't really like to stop the show  
But I thought that you might like to know  
That the singer's going to sing a song  
And he wants you all to sing along

So let me introduce to you  
The one and only Billy Shears  
And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

xXxXx

Brody didn't want to let Rachel see it, but he was extremely nervous that night. Louisa had seen their arrival and winked at Finn. He didn't know how much into each other they were now; he only knew Louisa belong with anyone else but him. He hadn't seen that the first song was over; he was awaken from his trance by the cheering and joined it to be polite.

Louisa and Maggie were exiting the stage leaving Kurt and Blaine to do a duet. Kurt hurried to the microphone:

"Let's celebrate love, guys! Being in love or finding love tonight, there are always people in our lives we'd do anything for. I'm glad I get to be surrounded by my loved ones tonight."

Blaine joined him in the light with that struck-by-love smile he always wore around Kurt. The two of them started singing All You Need Is Love and exchanging meaningful glances that made it clear to anyone that they were a couple.

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.

However, Brody wasn't at all interested in the love-doves on the stage. He spotted Louisa with Maggie at the bar getting a refill on their water bottles. It was a 'now or never' moment.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.  
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.  
Nothing you can say, but you can learn  
How to play the game  
It's easy.

He approached the two girls and Maggie, who saw him coming, made a disgusted face. Louisa turned around and pursed her lips when she saw it was him. Ignoring all that, he went on with his rehearsed line:

"Can I have a word with you?"

Nothing you can make that can't be made.  
No one you can save that can't be saved.  
Nothing you can do, but you can learn  
How to be you in time  
It's easy.

She rolled her eyes in her typical way:

"I'll never hear the end of it if I don't agree, right?"

He nodded and she shrugged. Maggie held her arm:

"Are you really okay with it? Need any help?"

Louisa smiled that genuine smile she didn't have for Brody anymore:

"It's fine. Go check that girl you were telling me about up. If I need help, I'll scream."

All you need is love, all you need is love,  
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.  
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.  
All you need is love, all you need is love,  
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.

She agreed to follow him to a quiet corner were they could actually hear each other. He tried to start rubbing her arm and asking how she was but she slipped him.

"Look Brody, please don't act like nothing has happened between us. I appreciate that you care about my health, but you're not the person I'll go to if I need to vent."

He smiled sadly:

"I wish I were. I accept your coldness towards me; but I wanted to tell you that I won't stop working to change that. I realized too late that I love you, Lou."

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.  
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.  
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where  
You're meant to be  
It's easy.

"Please, don't 'Lou' me."

He was getting more desperate every second:

"What can I do? Tell me! I'll do anything!"

She sighed and then turned on her sympathetic smile:

"I told you I need some me time. Please, respect that. I'm vulnerable and I'm avoiding strong emotions. Just leave me alone, Brody."

All you need is love, all you need is love,  
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.  
All you need is love. (All together now).  
All you need is love. (Everybody).  
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.  
Love is all you need.  
Love is all you need

She began to walk back to her friends but he held her by the arm:

"When then?"

"I don't know..."

(Yesterday)  
(Oh yeah)  
(He loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah)  
(He loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah)  
(Oh, yesterday)

He could feel a tear forming in the corner of his eye:

"Louisa... Please..."

Her eyes were dark and profound:

"I'm sorry."

And like that she was gone.

xXxXx

A truth that only Kurt knew was that Blaine was an incorrigible romantic at heart. He also knew that the pout in his boyfriend's lips as they left the stage was caused by the view of Finn all by himself having his heart broken by Rachel once again. He chuckled and squeezed Blaine's hand lightly:

"You want to do something about it."

Blaine snorted a little embarrassed:

"You know me so well."

When they joined Finn, he gave them a smile that didn't reach his eyes and fist-bumped Blaine:

"You guys were awesome. With the gals and the duet; I'm glad you convinced me to come."

Kurt couldn't stop his mouth:

"Are you really?"

He regretted it as soon as it left his mouth. Blaine was shooting him a reproachful look from across the table. Finn huffed:

"Seeing Rachel and the boy toy together acting like it's no one's business that they are together wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I agreed in coming."

Kurt held his hand apologetically:

"I didn't know they'd be here either. If it's any consolation; I don't think they are together."

Finn gave him a quick smile and Blaine stared at him telling he'd take from now on:

"Rachel has chosen you over Brody and I think she stands by this choice."

Finn had already given up:

"I'm not the super-star-perfect-bodied-boyfriend she always dreamed about."

Blaine patted Finn's hand with his best supportive grin on:

"No, Finn. You are the real boy who stood by her and supported her in all her dreams."

Blaine's pep talk clearly wasn't working. However, Kurt knew his boyfriend couldn't see it and wouldn't give up on hope. He decided it was time to make things his way:

"Blee, is it already my time to go up stage?"

Blaine looked confused but checked his clipboard and nodded. Kurt got up in his best diva way and walked to the stage.

"Hello again. For those of you who arrived late, I'm Kurt Hummel and I'm here to celebrate the people that I love. This one is for my brother."

He was thrilled to see Finn's expression changing as he began to sing the all times classic She Loves You.

She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah

You think you've lost your love  
Well, I saw her yesterday-yi-yay  
It's you she's thinking of  
And she told me what to say-yi-yay

She says she loves you  
and you know that can't be bad  
Yes, she loves you  
and you know you should be glad

She said you hurt her so  
She almost lost her mind  
And now she says she knows  
You're not the hurting kind

She says she loves you  
and you know that can't be bad  
Yes, she loves you  
and you know you should be glad

Oo, she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
With a love like that  
You know you should be glad

You know it's up to you  
I think it's only fair  
Pride can hurt you too  
Apologize to her

Because she loves you  
and you know that can't be bad  
Yes, she loves you  
and you know you should be glad

Oo, she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
With a love like that  
You know you should be glad  
With a love like that  
you know you should be glad  
With a love like that  
you know you should be glad  
Yeah, yeah, yeah,  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

He had never seen a couple love each other so much and been through so much drama. Couldn't they see the light? Finn seemed to be getting it: Rachel loves you, you big guff-ball.

xXxXx

It hadn't been a good night for either Rachel or Brody. Unlike her friend, she hadn't tried to talk to Finn; she could see no point in it. After his conversation with Louisa, Brody had turned into a machine of drinking his sorrows. She felt completely alone.

Much to her surprise, Kurt got in the stage and dedicated a song to Finn. The biggest shock was which song it was. Could Kurt be meaning her? Or was Finn so love-sick with Louisa that he couldn't see how obviously the Latin girl threw herself at him? Maybe that was why she was rejecting poor Brody...

Her line of thoughts was interrupted by a comment from a very drunken Brody:

"Yeah; that's what I should do. I'll pull a Kurt and get on that stage to sing the obvious."

"Is that so obvious that Finn and Louisa are together?"

"Are you mental, Rachel? This song is obviously about you."

Could it be? Was Kurt really trying to get her and Finn together in spite of his cousin? The malicious smirk Kurt threw in her direction in the end left no doubt.

Before she could decide what to do about it, Brody had gotten up and was drunk-walking towards the stage. She followed him to make sure he wouldn't hurt himself on the way. He arranged everything with Blaine and went to sing.

"Good night. My name is Brody Weston and I'll be singing the obvious. Thank you very much."

He began to sing Girl.

Is there anybody going to listen to my story  
All about the girl who came to stay?  
She's the kind of girl  
You want so much it make you sorry  
Still you don't regret a single day  
Ah, girl, girl, girl

Rachel was trying to find Louisa in the audience to analyze her reaction – deep down she rooted for her and Brody, he had become her best friend and she wanted to see him happy no matter what. However, all Rachel could find was that she was incredibly close to where Finn was sitting all by himself. Gathering all of her courage; she decided to try to talk to him.

When I think of all the times  
I tried so hard to leave her  
She will turn to me and start to cry  
And she promises the earth to me  
And I believe her  
After all this time I don't know why  
Ah, girl, girl, girl

As she approached his table, his reaction was of someone surprised rather than upset.

"Mind if I join you?"

He gave her a fake smile indicating the chair with his hand:

"Be my guest."

She sat down and took a deep breath, still afraid to look in his eyes. It was it; there was no point of leaving anything else unsaid:

"Finn, I'll go straight to the point: did you have anything to do with Kurt's song selection?"

She's the kind of girl who puts you down  
When friends are there  
You feel a fool  
When you say she's looking good  
She acts as if it's understood  
She's cool, ooh, oo, oo   
Girl, girl, girl

Finn put his glass down and looked at her straight in her eyes with some kind of fury behind it:

"How about you and your little friend on the stage?"

"My friend Brody? The one who just spent the whole night drinking to forget how Louisa have dumped him? Yeah; it's right: your girlfriend has definitively finished everything that was between them!"

Finn was puzzled:

"My girlfriend? I never dated her. And if you look at her right now; you'll see that his serenade is clearly messing with her feelings."

Was she told when she was young  
That pain would lead to pleasure  
Did she understand it when they said  
That a man must break his back  
To earn his day of leisure?  
Will she still believe it when he's dead  
Ah, girl, girl, girl  
Girl

Rachel looked to where he was pointing and saw the girl budging uncomfortably in a stool by the bar. Finn got back to talking and it caught her attention back.

"Besides, Kurt and Louisa are my family. Now; you and Brody are not related at all..."

If it was to stay there and be insulted; Rachel rather just leave. On her way to the door, however, a crazy idea crossed her mind.

xXxXx

If seen Brody singing to her absolutely drunk had been an uncomfortable experience; what followed it didn't help much in calming Louisa's nerves. Rachel had gotten up the stage and asked to sing Two of Us. Louisa was astonished at how the girl had the nerve to steal the microphone from the poor guy whose turn had come and the way she had turned her back to most of the audience to stare in Finn's direction while she sang.

Two of us riding nowhere  
Spending someone's  
Hard earned pay  
You and me Sunday driving  
Not arriving

On our way back home  
We're on our way home  
We're on our way home  
We're going home

Two of us sending postcards  
Writing letters  
On my wall  
You and me burning matches  
Lifting latches

On our way back home  
We're on our way home  
We're on our way home  
We're going home

You and I have memories  
Longer than the road that stretches out ahead

Two of us wearing raincoats  
Standing so low  
In the sun  
You and me chasing paper  
Getting nowhere

On our way back home  
We're on our way home  
We're on our way home  
We're going home

A familiar voice coming from her back called her attention:

"Enjoying the show, sis?"

"Come on, Maggie; there was nothing to be seen."

"Agree to disagree..."

"But tell me; how was the girl you went after?"

"Straight.... But don't try to avoid the elephant in the room: how things went between you and Brody?"

If it wasn't so annoying for being completely accurate; Louisa would find it very funny the way Maggie had of hitting the spot and taking the ground off of your feet.

"Same old, same old."

"He asking you to be back together and you playing Ice Queen?"

She nodded and took a sip from her drink. Maggie knew her only too well to let her escape with such a vague answer:

"I was watching you, miss. I saw how affected you were by his performance. What exactly did you talked about?"

"He said he wanted to be there for me and I told him I was avoiding strong emotions."

Maggie made an eureka face finishing with a triumphant smirk:

"So you'll admit he means strong emotions?"

Louisa stuttered looking for a way to answer back but it wasn't necessary. She saw Maggie's mouth opening in awe and turned to see what she was looking at. She hadn't been paying attention to the last performance; but clearly Rachel was able to make her point as Finn was standing in the stage with her and cupping her face to kiss her better.

xXxXx

Finn broke the kiss to the sound of wolf-whistles coming from the audience. He smiled awkwardly at Rachel who responded with a pleased grin. He took her hand and guided them to a quieter place.

Rachel's was lighten up and her eyes were sparkling. He felt joyous as he hadn't felt in a long time. Nothing else mattered; just him and the wonderful girl standing before him. He went in for another kiss to which she responded pretty quickly.

"Tell me again why we were broken up."

Rachel chuckled as probably his breathing tickled her neck while he kissed her there. She gently pushed him to look in his eyes:

"Because we can't make it work when we are together."

She had a kind of sad smile on as if it was a decided fact that she could do nothing about. She was there for him; she wanted it too. However, something in her resigned smile broke his heart. He took both of her hand with his:

"We'll make it work this time."

He kissed her once more to let his feelings out somehow. She broke the kiss smiling:

"I love you so much."

He could feel his heart swelling to five times its size:

"I love you too, Rach. My life means nothing without you."

They weren't in such a private area as they wanted; so they had to rejoin the crowd and save the making-out for later. As they paid attention, they saw that Louisa was up for singing. They had lost her presentation, all they got was:

"... So anyway; I'll sing my feelings tonight."

She began to sing an even-softer version of If I Fell. Her eyes were gazing the horizon as if she was avoiding making eye-contact to anyone. Her singing had a sad-melody quality to it; however, they were too lost in each other to care about it.

If I fell in love with you  
Would you promise to be true  
And help me understand  
'Cause I've been in love before  
And I found that love was more  
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you  
I must be sure  
From the very start  
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you, oh please  
Don't run and hide  
If I love you too, oh please  
Don't hurt my pride like her

'Cause I couldn't stand the pain  
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I

Would love to love you

And that she will cry

When she learns we are two

If I fell in love with you

xXxXx

Louisa finished the last chord of her solo and swallowed her will to cry her eyes out right at that stage. She smiled gently and bowed; leaving the stage as soon as possible. Smiling politely to the people congratulating her on the way; she got as fast as possible to a dark corner of the room.

She had taken a few gulps from her water bottle and a few deep breaths to calm her down, but her peace was too soon disturbed by an unexpected presence. Brody got closer and closer and practically pinned her against the wall.

"What do you want, Brody?"

"You."

"You can't have me."

"That's not what it seemed up that stage."

"I didn't... It wasn't..."

She couldn't conclude her sentence because his mouth was in hers and his hands were at her waist while his body now pinned her to the wall. She was kissing him back far too eagerly for what she had convinced herself. He clearly had been drinking, but his tongue dancing against hers only left her wanting more and more.

In a sudden jolt of conscience; she pushed him away and covered her mouth. She began murmuring more to herself than to him:

"I shouldn't... I wouldn't..."

He was looking at her mouth and chuckled at her confusion. She was so mad at him that she punched him in the chest. Though, the few drinks she had had taken most of her strength away and it only made him laugh harder. Her anger was growing and she pointed a finger in his face:

"You listen up, Brody; that kiss didn't mean anything."

He laughed some more and stared at her with a smile still dyeing in his juicy lips:

"Of course it meant! It means that I can keep trying."

xXxXx

Kurt sat at a stool by the bar sipping calmly his drink while watching his boyfriend organizing some last things to close the bar. Blaine saw him watching and smiled:

"I'm sorry I've been holding you up. A few more minutes and we can go."

"Don't worry, honey; I'm enjoying myself watching you do hard work. Besides, have I told you how flattering this shirt is to your muscles?"

Blaine smirked in that cute way of his:

"I wish so much I could kiss you right now. My consolation is that I'm the one taking you home tonight."

"And then I'll be yours and only yours."

Their flirting was interrupted by Finn clearing his throat with Rachel snuggled in his arm:

"We're leaving now. You two need anything?"

Kurt shook his head and Blaine thanked him. Kurt couldn't handle his curiosity:

"Do you mind if I ask where are you two headed?"

Rachel opened up a beautiful smile and quickly stared at Finn before answering him:

"We are going to the Bushwick's apartment. We'll see if we go back to living together."

Kurt was pleased that those two had gotten over their thickheadness. Rachel's eyes were glimmering as she walked closer and kissed his cheek:

"Thank you, our dear cupid."

"It was my pleasure. But keep in mind that I'm waiting for that invitation to be the best men at your wedding."

Finn chuckled:

"As if my brother weren't already it."

They left and Kurt turned around to glance at Blaine while he arranged some cans in the refrigerator. Soon enough, a tapping on his shoulder caught his attention. Louisa smiled:

"Thank you again for agreeing to join us in the band. The manager just paid us and it will sure help on rent."

"Well, since Blaine had to work anyway, it was absolutely my pleasure. You're my valentine too, boo."

She smiled her proud-mama smile and hugged him. She yelled to Blaine from his shoulder:

"Hey, Bowtie! You better take extreme good care of this one. You know no one messes with the Hummels."

Blaine appeared from behind the counter laughing:

"If I had to fear a Hummel; it would be Burt and not you. Never to worry; I know perfectly well the jewel I have."

Kurt smiled fondly of their teasing; he got used to it. Blaine was already on his way to hug the girl:

"How are you getting home?"

"Maggie and I are sharing a taxi. We are honoring the band's name: the true lonely hearts."

Maggie chuckled:

"Some more than others."

Kurt got curious:

"Meaning?"

She firstly threw a malicious look towards Louisa and then answered him with a blank face:

"That maybe some of us have been making-out with our ex-boyfriends while we thought nobody was looking..."

Louisa blushed to a bright tone of magenta. Kurt got up from his stool in a jump and brought his hands to his waist:

"Boo, I can't believe you did that! Brody isn't worthy a dime!"

Quite unusually, she didn't storm back. She simply lowered her head embarrassed and nodded. Kurt didn't see him moving, but Blaine appeared by his side and held his shoulder:

"Come on, gorgeous; maybe Brody deserves a second chance and maybe your cousin is happy about it."

Louisa looked back up:

"No, I'm not! I may be a little drunk... I don't want to be back together with him and it won't happen again."

"I've heard that before."

Blaine must have been thinking out loud, because he blushed as soon as he said that. Kurt remembered how their last Valentine's Day had been and he felt a squeeze in his heart. The girls must have sensed something was wrong for they rushed their exit.

As the bar was empty but for them, Kurt took the courage and hugged Blaine from behind:

"Honey, it's forgiven and forgotten. You don't have to keep blaming yourself for it. You're the best boyfriend in the world and I wouldn't trade you for the whole universe. And you were right; tonight was fantastic."

He could tell Blaine was smiling even if he couldn't see it.

"You aren't escaping going on a date with me tomorrow, cutie."

Kurt laughed while Blaine turned to face him. He passed his arms around Blaine's neck and nudged his nose:

"As you aren't escaping from cuddling with me all night long, mister."

After a chaste kiss, Blaine went to store some last glasses. They got out together and their hands met each other's as soon as they were out on the street. Kurt smiled. Blaine was right: it wasn't about big gestures that made their night special; it was the little ones that showed they were in for the big hide. Not that Kurt would let Blaine get out of giving him a small present on his birthday in a couple of weeks. He smiled at the thought: Blaine would never disappoint him. Besides, it didn't matter; Blaine was the best gift of all times.


	15. Masquerade

Blaine opened his eyes, checked the alarm-clock and smiled. Then, he turned around and began nuzzling his boyfriend's sleeping form neck's:

"Good morning. Rise and shine, beautiful one."

Kurt groaned and pulled the covers over his head:

"I don't want to wake up..."

"But it's your special day, birthday-boy."

Kurt's glowing face appeared flashing a huge grin:

"It is!"

Blaine chuckled amused: his boyfriend turned into a spoiled child on his birthday. Kurt was passing his arms around Blaine's neck:

"Do I get to open my present now?"

"Who said I've bought you a present?"

Kurt gave him a smoldering look:

"We both know you did."

"Okay; I did. But you won't get it until tonight."

Kurt let go of his neck falling back on the bed with a pout. Blaine laughed which only made the other boy grumpier. Blaine lay by his side and began to trace patterns on Kurt's chest:

"Don't be like that. It's a big one; I promise. Besides, you'll have the big party you wanted. It will be the hot topic all around New York tomorrow."

Kurt smiled and pulled him up for a kiss:

"I guess this will be a happy birthday indeed. And the best present life has already given me: you and your love. We could just lie in bed for the rest of the day and it would still be the most joyful birthday in my whole life."

"As tempting as it sounds; we both have to be at the university today. And then I'll have to leave you to your friends and family for a few hours to make sure everything is running smoothly to your masquerade party tonight at Callbacks."

Kurt tilted his head back with a pleasant grin:

"It's like I'm living a dream: I'm turning 20 living in the city were dreams are made with my gorgeous wonderful boyfriend, my father is healthy again, I'm studying in the best university and I have a marvelous job, not to mention that I have my brother and cousin living near me. To top it all up; I'm throwing a big costume party tonight to which most of my friends from all over the country have promised to come. I'm the luckiest guy in the world!"

Blaine grinned proud of him:

"I love you so much."

"I love you too. You know what I love the most about you? It's that you can't keep secrets from me."

Blaine got up laughing not after having tickled Kurt in his most sensitive spots:

"Nice try; but I'm not telling you what your present is until tonight."

"Come on, Blee! I know you're up to something!"

"Yes, I am. I'm up now to make you breakfast. Join me in the kitchen in ten, will you?"

Kurt groaned a little upset and dove back on the pillows. Blaine smiled at the lovely sight. He went humming to the kitchen and kept it up while cooking. Sure Kurt was suspicious; but he had teamed up with the best to help him: Finn, Louisa and Burt. And Kurt wasn't even suspicious that Burt and Carole were flying in this weekend. Everything was going as planned.

xXxXx

"But I've already giving you the Broadway gift you have asked me! Will you stop bugging me?"

"No, Louisa! You know what Blaine's up to and you'll tell me!"

She smirked at her cousin:

"So I can take as conclusion from all this that you think I'm easier to bend than Blaine?"

"Yeah; you're right! I'm not thinking this through, because I'm that desperate! See boo; I was trying to move you out of you stubbornness. Come on; help me!"

She laughed:

"Your despair is music to my ears, sweet cousin."

"You're mean!"

"I'm not! I'm buying you cheesecake!"

He chuckled and took a large piece of her slice:

"For that; you're forgiven."

She rolled her eyes the Hummel way:

"Now I'm so glad that Blaine's been able to keep up the surprise."

Kurt slapped the table:

"I knew you two were together in this!"

"My lips are sealed, pumpkin."

"Alright, I'm going to the bathroom now and I'll come back with a plan that'll make you talk."

"Your willingness to break me is as big as mine not to be broken."

He went to the bathroom throwing her menacing looks on his way. She laughed amused and took out her phone to message Blaine:

"The eagle has landed."

It soon ringed with an answer:

"Meaning?"

She typed fast, afraid that Kurt would be back any second:

"That Kurt is desperate. You're doing it well."

She got jumpy when the new message arrived and turned off the sound of her phone.

"What about your part? Everything is running smooth?"

She was snorting as answering him:

"You offend me like that, Anderson. You must be asking Finn that. And you *do* know I'm doing all this for Kurt?"

She could practically see Blaine's smirk in his response:

"I'll pretend that I do. You love me."

She kept checking the male's bathroom door while typing:

"I love *him*."

And then Blaine broke her like he was usual to do in the last few months:

"I do too."

She smiled fondly while typing the last message as Kurt was walking towards her:

"I know; that's why I'm doing it. He's coming back; gotta go."

xXxXx

Finn's phone buzzed with a message from Blaine:

"Everything alright with your part of the plan?"

He showed it to Rachel and wrote back to say that they were at the airport waiting for Burt and Carole. Rachel smiled:

"He's really nervous, isn't he?"

"Who wouldn't?"

"I know he has something huge planned; it's just that he's always so put together that I find it weird seeing him a mess..."

Finn winked at her:

"It's because you've got Kurt last year while they were broken up. I pitied him; even if he had screwed up with my brother."

She nodded understandingly. They didn't have much more time to discuss it as the speakers started announcing that Burt's flight had landed.

After the warm welcomes and all the hugs, they were all set up on the rented car and heading back to Rachel's and Finn's apartment. The ones from Ohio were interested in getting updated about Louisa's health and the other's well-being. While the New Yorkers wanted to know about the Glee club and their friends that stood on the state. Until they've finally reached Blaine's surprise subject; Rachel was the most loquacious about it:

"Burt, I still can't believe that they've convinced you to join this."

He chuckled and grabbed the girl's shoulder:

"I've learned how charismatic Blaine can be. I mean; you know Louisa, right? You guys say that I'm stubborn; but she can be a pain in the ass. When Blaine said she was helping, I saw no point of not going in."

Finn gave him a quick look through the rear-mirror:

"But Burt; if she had tried to advocate on my behalf, you'd still have been against it, right?"

Burt sighed:

"Yes, Finn; and I hope you understand that. It's different with Kurt; he has been through a lot in this life. Not that I think that you having lost your father is an easy deal, kiddo."

Finn smiled and nodded. Carole found it wise to intervene:

"Son, you know how much Burt and I love you, right? Burt was torn when he came to tell me Blaine's idea. However, he started arguing about Kurt and Blaine and also you. You all have changed a lot since High School and it seemed more natural for Kurt to have taken this way than you."

Finn smiled genuinely:

"I know, mom. No hard feelings whatsoever here. I'm in it too, remember? And I think it's all about Blaine, in the end. It's about his background, it's about what he did and it's about how he's doing now. Since I moved to New York, I've learned new meanings of the word family. I need them as they need me; that's why I think my little brother's party tonight is so important."

Rachel began to run her fingers in Finn's hair:

"I'm so proud of you; so proud of the man you became."

He gave her a quick smile and concentrated back on the road:

"I know, sweetie. But today is all about Kurt. Like I said in mom and Burt's wedding: he has taught me a lot."

xXxXx

Louisa had never seen Callbacks so beautiful. Then, she remembered that Blaine had left his boyfriend alone all afternoon on his birthday just to get things right. Mission accomplished, Anderson, mission accomplished. She even heard Maggie letting out a little surprised 'oh' by her side. It was easy to spot Kurt shining in his Phantom of the Opera costume. They walked towards him and he shrieked loudly and pulled Blaine closer:

"Honey, you have to see this! Look at Louisa all dressed up like a girl in her Dorothy costume! And it was absolutely her idea; I don't have anything to do with it."

She smiled feeling her cheeks burning:

"It's for you to see how much I love you, pumpkin. It was either this or Snow White; I end up deciding for the shoes."

She flashed the ruby slippers to which Kurt winked approvingly:

"These shoes are to die for! I just hope you haven't killed any evil witch with your house."

Louisa smirked:

"Better than to be dating Hitler."

Blaine looked fuming at her:

"It's..."

She interrupted him laughing:

"Chaplin! I know; I've seen the hat. It's just... You know, Bowtie, you could have dressed any costume in the world and you go for suit, bowtie, cane and hat. Couldn't you be less obvious?"

Kurt went to defend his boyfriend:

"I like it. He looks very dapper and Chaplin is a marvelous artist to pay homage to."

Blaine flashed Louisa his tongue and Kurt rolled his eye at their silliness. He went back to polite grown-up conversation:

"I also love your costume, Maggie. It's Snow White's Grumpy, isn't it?"

She nodded in her I'm-being-friendly way:

"Yes. Louisa and I talked about coming with a group costume and when she changed her mind, I was already in love with the character."

Kurt smiled:

"Well, have fun!"

She smirked maraudly:

"I'll certainly try... Tell me something, who's the Latin girl who actually looks Latin dancing on the bar in the Jessica Rabbit costume?"

Kurt pursed his lips:

"Awesome gaydar! That's Santana and she's actually gay. You may try your luck, but that blond in the cat costume next to her used to be her girlfriend and, by the way they are dancing, I'd say something is going on there."

Maggie excused herself anyway and went to dance near the bar too. Kurt was already lost in the crowd of guests talking to him. As Blaine and Louisa were left alone, a guy in a wheelchair and a Speed Racer costume approached them:

"Blaine, everything is ready for the first number."

"Awesome! Let me introduce you guys: this is Artie, a friend back from Ohio, and this is Louisa, Kurt's cousin. Lou, Artie is helping me with the performances of the night. He'll call you at the right time."

She smiled to the friendly boy. They talked a while longer about Louisa's part for later that night and she saw Kurt watching them. He was getting more suspicious each moment; she wondered how much longer Blaine would be able to keep his surprise. However, to distract everyone, it was time for them to go up-stage.

Kurt's birthday would involve Callbacks' karaoke for whoever wanted to perform. Blaine had already talked to some people who wanted to serenade Kurt when they could go on. But to open the night and get the party started; they had rehearsed a number. And then; Kurt, Blaine, Louisa, Finn and Rachel went up the stage to perform their version of Phantom's Masquerade. All of them were talented and very excited about being there; it was a crowd pleaser. Rachel had being annoying during rehearsal to take the best out of everyone; and now Louisa had to admit that she had been right.

Masquerade!  
Paper faces on parade . . .  
Masquerade!  
Hide your face,  
so the world will  
never find you!

Masquerade!  
Every face a different shade . . .  
Masquerade!  
Look around -  
there's another  
mask behind you!

Flash of mauve . . .  
Splash of puce . . .  
Fool and king . . .  
Ghoul and goose . . .  
Green and black . . .  
Queen and priest . . .  
Trace of rouge . . .  
Face of beast . . .

Faces . . .  
Take your turn, take a ride  
on the merry-go-round . . .  
in an inhuman race . . .

Eye of gold . . .  
Thigh of blue . . .  
True is false . . .  
Who is who . . .?  
Curl of lip . . .  
Swirl of gown . . .  
Ace of hearts . . .  
Face of clown . . .

Faces . . .  
Drink it in, drink it up,  
till you've drowned  
in the light . . .  
in the sound . . .

But who can name the face . . .?

Masquerade!  
Grinning yellows,  
spinning reds . . .  
Masquerade!  
Take your fill -  
let the spectacle  
astound you!

Masquerade!  
Burning glances,  
turning heads . . .  
Masquerade!  
Stop and stare  
at the sea of smiles  
around you!

Masquerade!  
Seething shadows  
breathing lies . . .  
Masquerade!  
You can fool  
any friend who  
ever knew you!

Masquerade!  
Leering satyrs,  
peering eyes . . .  
Masquerade!  
Run and hide -  
but a face will  
still pursue you!

Masquerade!  
Paper faces on parade  
Masquerade!  
Hide your face,  
so the world  
will never find you!

Masquerade!  
Every face a different shade  
Masquerade!  
Look around,  
there's another mask  
behind you!

Masquerade!  
Burning glances, turning heads  
Masquerade!  
Stop and stare  
at the sea of smiles  
around you!

Masquerade!  
Grinning yellows,  
Spinning reds  
Masquerade!  
Take your fill,  
let the spectacle  
astound you!

xXxXx

"Hello, Mario Brothers."

Finn and Burt turned in their matching costumes to see Puck arriving dressed as a gangster. Finn smiled realizing how much he had missed his best friend:

"Isn't it the myth himself? How is Puckerman finding The Big Apple?"

"A little slow for now; but ask me again by the end of the night."

He winked at the fake Luigi and Burt, the fake Mario, just shook his head. Puck saw it:

"Mr. Hummel, how's the health?"

Burt smiled politely:

"Fine; thank you for asking. Keeping you youngsters' company keeps me young too."

Puck friendly squeezed his shoulder while greeting Mike, who was approaching them:

"Chang! How are those dance moves? I'm ready to be wowed tonight."

Burt saw the young Asian funnily impersonating Michael Jackson. He had always like the Chang boy; contrarily to Puckerman about whom he had his reservations. While Finn, Puck and Mike chit-chatted; Burt was looking for an excuse not to join the conversation. He saw Blaine and Sam walking together and called the boys near:

"Hey, Sam! You've lived in my house for almost two years and now you won't even come to say hello?"

Sam smiled:

"I'm sorry, Mr. H; I hadn't seen you there. I was here catching up you with Blainers."

Burt laughed:

"Anything I can't listen? I wanted to hear what's new too."

Blaine smiled in his usual polite way:

"Of course, Mr.... I mean, Burt. I was just updating Sam on our little plan."

Burt winked:

"Our little secret, Anderson."

Sam started impersonating his costume and spoke in the Terminator's voice:

"You can trust me."

Their conversation didn't go much farther because someone on the stage caught everyone's attention:

"Good evening, ladies and gentleman. My name is Louisa Hummel and I'm the birthday-boy's cousin. However, Kurt's much more than just a cousin to me. That's why I'd like to dedicate this song to him."

She began to sing The Rembrandts' I'll Be There for You, best known for being Friends' soundtrack. She was smiling proudly in a direction that Burt found out to be where Kurt was standing with some other girl friends. It made him so glad to see his former little boy and the girl he loved like a daughter being there for each other. He saw their moved faces and had to fight his tears. However, it didn't last long; a comment from Puck brought him back to his former mood.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way  
Your job's a joke, you're broke  
Your love life's D-O-A

It's like you're always stuck in second gear  
Oh when it hasn't been your day  
Your week, your month, or even your year

I'll be there for you  
When the rain starts to pour  
I'll be there for you  
Like I've been there before  
I'll be there for you  
'Cause you're there for me, too

"Wow! Who's the babe on the stage?"

Before Burt could say anything, Blaine had beaten him defending the family's honor:

"Watch out, Puck! She's Kurt's cousin and my protégée."

Blaine looked at Burt for reassurance, but he simply chuckled:

"Don't worry, Anderson; it's not like Puck could break Louisa's heart."

You're still in bed at ten and work began at eight  
You've burned your breakfast  
So far things are going great  
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these  
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees

I'll be there for you  
When the rain starts to pour  
I'll be there for you  
Like I've been there before  
I'll be there for you  
'Cause you're there for me, too

No one could ever know me  
No one could ever see me  
Seems you're the only one who knows  
What it's like to be me

Someone to face the day with  
Make it through all the rest with  
Someone I'll always laugh with  
Even at my worst I'm best with you

It's like you're always stuck in second gear  
Oh when it hasn't been your day  
Your week, your month, or even your year

I'll be there for you  
When the rain starts to pour  
I'll be there for you  
Like I've been there before  
I'll be there for you  
'Cause you're there for me, too

xXxXx

Louisa got down from the stage feeling she needed to hydrate herself. She walked towards the bar and saw Carole speaking to a pretty blond dressed as a rock-star. She got her water bottle and approached her aunt trying not to interrupt the conversation:

"Carole?"

Carole turned and smiled when she saw who it was:

"Lou, dear, your performance was marvelous."

"Thank you so much. I came to tell you that you look incredible as a fairy."

The woman smiled fondly at her:

"Always a sweetheart. Let me introduce you: this is Quinn, Finn's first girlfriend and this is Louisa, Burt's niece."

The blond girl smiled to her:

"Glad to meet you. Now that Carole has company; I guess I'll go catch up with some other old friends."

Carole hugged Quinn:

"I was very sweet of you stopping by to chat with me. I always like you, even if I don't think that you and Finn match that well. I'm happy to hear you've gone out of your awkward phase. You've got such a bright future ahead of you."

The pretty girl thanked Carole and went on her way. It was Louisa's turn of being interrogated:

"And you, Lou; how are you after the hurricane?"

Louisa pursed her lips a little embarrassed:

"I'm getting better. Eleanor has been an angel and providing me all the support I need, not to mention showering me with love. In fact, love has not being a problem: I got a wonderful family and friends."

Carole stared her with a motherly look:

"And you little heart? Where's that boy we've met on Christmas?"

"It's over. He had... other priorities. Anyway, I need a time for myself now."

"Sometimes a love interest can make wonders for us and our self-esteem."

Louisa was feeling uncomfortable. Nevertheless, she didn't have to find an answer to Carole: speaking of the devil, there he came dressed as a go-go boy. Brody touched Louisa's shoulder and spoke with a smile:

"One dance; that's all I ask."

Louisa rolled her eyes:

"Gate-crashing, Brody? I expected more of you."

"Blaine invited me."

She groaned:

"That hobbit will pay me someday."

Louisa couldn't deny it in the end because Carole practically pushed her in Brody's direction and generally made sure the girl would say yes. The two of them got to the dance floor at the same time Finn and Rachel were climbing the stage to pay their homage to Kurt. Finn was the one introducing them:

"Hello. You all know that I'm Kurt's step-brother. I'd like to use this opportunity to thank this boy that has taught me so much. I said something like that when our parents got married and, tonight, I want to reinforce it: Kurt was one of the persons that most taught me how to be a man. Keep it up, bro. You're awesome as you are; and that's what Rachel and I want to sing to you."

They began singing Nirvana's Come as You Are and Louisa thanked it wasn't a song you slow-danced to.

Come as you are, as you were  
As I want you to be  
As a friend, as a friend  
As an known enemy

Nevertheless, Brody was much closer than what she felt comfortable with. He whispered in her ear:

"Don't you think Rachel is being a little too obvious in her cheerleader costume?"

"Look who's saying it! You're dressed as a go-go boy!"

Take your time, hurry up  
The choice is yours, don't be late  
Take a rest as a friend  
As an old

Memoria, memoria  
Memoria, memoria

"It's different: I'm trying to make a point and she's just letting everyone know she wanted to be popular in High-School."

"And may I ask what point you're trying to make?"

He smirked in a sexy way:

"That I'm not ashamed of my past and I'm willing to live with the consequences of it to try and make a better future."

Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach  
As I want you to be  
As a trend, as a friend  
As an old

Memoria, memoria  
Memoria, memoria

"It was a nice rehearsed speech."

He was a little disappointed when he said it:

"But apparently not convincing enough..."

And I swear that I don't have a gun  
No I don't have a gun  
No I don't have a gun

Memoria, memoria  
Memoria, memoria  
(No I don't have a gun)

She snorted with a mix of despite and amusement:

"What do you want, Brody?"

"Another chance."

"Try another day; all you're getting from me tonight is this dance."

And I swear that I don't have a gun  
No I don't have a gun  
No I don't have a gun  
No I don't have a gun  
No I don't have a gun

Memoria, memoria

xXxXx

Blaine loved to perform and he had done some huge venues. However, he had never been as nervous about a performance as he was for this specific one. There was too much at stake.

He got on the stage and slowly approached the microphone. He cleared his throat and tried to get everyone's attention:

"Hi!"

A lot more pairs of eyes than he remembered turned at him. Particularly, some lovely blue ones were very close from the stage. Kurt smiled fondly of him and it gave him courage to go on:

"I know my performance is highly anticipated and I'm nervous about it because I want everything to be perfect as Kurt is to me."

More smiles and 'aw's came from the audience. Blaine could feel his heart beating in his throat but he went on anyway:

"Kurt, I hope you know how important you're in my life. You're my North, my rock, my anchor and my wings. I love you in a way I've never loved anybody. I'm so thankful to have you in my life and I'm happy every day because you love me too. I'll stop speaking now, before I start crying. This one is for you, darling; with all my love."

He began accompanying himself on the piano while singing Moulin Rouge's version of Your Song. The movie meant so much for both of them and he could tell Kurt was on the edge of tears as he was. Little did Kurt know it was nothing compared to the surprise Blaine had in store for him.

My gift is my song  
And this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song  
It may be quite simple but now that it's done  
I hope you don't mind  
I hope you don't mind  
That I put down in words  
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked up the moss  
Well, some of these verses, well, they've got me quite cross  
But the sun's been quite kind  
While I wrote this song  
It's for people like you that  
Keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting  
But these things, I do  
You see, I've forgotten  
If they're green or they're blue  
Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean  
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

And you can tell everybody this is your song  
It may be quite simple but  
Now that it's done  
I hope you don't mind  
I hope you don't mind  
That I put down in words  
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

xXxXx

Kurt approached the vampire dressed Tina and the Whitney Huston Mercedes a little disappointed. He had just hugged Blaine after his heart-felt solo, but the boy had suddenly excused himself saying there were some guests he should greet. He hugged both of them at the same time and Mercedes was the one seeing his distress:

"What's wrong, honey? You've got a beautiful party and just got serenaded by the love of your life; what else did you want?"

He pouted a little more and answered her:

"I know I shouldn't be complaining; it's just that everyone around here was building my expectation up high and now I know nothing will happen. I thought Blaine would surprise me and give me something special during his performance."

Tina distillated a little venom:

"Isn't his performance enough of a gift? I'd be on the moon if I were on your place."

Mercedes and Kurt exchanged a meaningful look. However, soon enough their attention was caught by the audience laughing and cheering. Kurt turned to the stage to see the cause of the commotion: his father, his brother and his cousin all dressed in bejeweled black unitards. His mouth opened without his control. He could hardly believe his eyes.

Louisa walked to the microphone and winked at Kurt on her way:

"Pumpkin, we know this is your trademark; but we'll borrow it tonight. Just enjoy."

She smirked mischievously before joining the other two in formation. The background music started filling the room and Kurt just couldn't cope with the fact that they were doing it. Louisa took the lead vocals of Single Ladies. They were doing the full Beyoncé's choreography; well, Louisa was at least. Burt and Finn were giving their best to follow along. Kurt didn't know if he laughed, cried or prayed for the earth to swallow him then. He knew one thing: he couldn't dare blink or he'd miss it.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies  
All the single ladies,all the single ladies  
All the single ladies, all the single ladies  
All the single ladies Now put your hands up

Up in the club (club), we just broke up (up), I'm doing my own little thing.  
Decided to dip (dip) and now you wanna trip (trip)  
'Cause another brother noticed me

I'm up on him, he up on me  
Don't pay him any attention  
Just cried my tears, for three good years  
You can't get mad at me

'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it  
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it  
Don't be mad once you see that he want it  
'Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh x2

If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it  
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it

Don't be mad once you see that he want it  
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it

I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips  
Got me tighter in my carry-on jeans  
Acting up, drink in my cup  
I can care less what you think

I need no permission, did I mention  
Don't pay him any attention  
'Cause you had your turn, and now you gonna learn  
What it really feels like to miss me

'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it  
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it  
Don't be mad once you see that he want it  
'Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Don't treat me to these things of the world  
I'm not that kind of girl  
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve  
Is a man that makes me then takes me  
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond  
Pull me into your arms  
Say I'm the one you want  
If you don't, you'll be alone  
And like a ghost I'll be gone

All the single ladies, all the single ladies  
All the single ladies, all the single ladies  
All the single ladies, all the single ladies  
All the single ladies Now put your hands up

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it  
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it  
Don't be mad once you see that he want it  
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it  
Oh, oh, oh.

If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it  
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it  
Don't be mad once you see that he want it  
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it, oh oh oh

When he thought the surprises for the night were over, the song ended and Blaine joined them on the stage in his Chaplin suit but without the cane, the hat and the fake mustache. He walked to the microphone and searched Kurt's eye in the audience:

"Kurt, from the moment we met, I knew I liked it. It took me some time to realize. But each step of the way just showed me that you are the one for me; love of my life; my soul mate. I'd like very much to put a ring on it. As you can see; your father, your brother and your cousin have already approved it. So all I need now is an answer from you."

Blaine took the microphone from its stand and went down on one knee before continuing:

"So, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, will you give me the enormous honor of becoming my husband?"


	16. Asnwering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is an homage to the fic "Little Numbers" by iknowitainteasy.

It surely had shocked Kurt; Blaine knew it would. He didn't know how his boyfriend would react to his proposal; that was why he was reluctant as he climbed down the stage stairs to meet Kurt in the audience. However, it was much to everyone's surprise that all the lights of Callbacks went down. Blaine pretty much remembered where Kurt had been standing and walked there guided by the lights from the street getting in through the windows. Nevertheless, he couldn't find Kurt. He found Tina and Mercedes, next to whom the boy had been standing; but Kurt was nowhere to be seen.

Blaine's anxiety was starting to rise when a spotlight was lit on the stage showing him the most gorgeous vision in the world: Kurt smiling to him and holding the microphone.

"Blaine, you really surprised me here. I knew you were up to something; but never, in my wildest dreams, I thought you'd propose to me like this. You sang me a song from Moulin Rouge, our movie. I'd like to serenade you with another song from the same movie. I just want to say that, because of you, I've learned what it feels like to love and be loved in return."

Kurt began a beautiful rendition of Nature Boy. His voice sounded just perfect for the song and Blaine could feel his heart swell from the love for the boy. In his head it was very clear: he and Kurt belonged together and marrying each other would just be to state the obvious. Kurt also knew they were soul mates; the way his eyes were glimmering while he sang that song made Blaine sure of it.

There was a boy  
A very strange enchanted boy  
They say he wandered very far, very far  
Over land and sea  
A little shy and sad of eye  
But very wise was he

And then one day  
A magic day he passed my way  
And while we spoke of many things  
Fools and kings  
This he said to me  
The greatest thing you'll ever learn  
Is just to love and be loved in return

The greatest thing you'll ever learn  
Is just to love and be loved in return

As the song ended, Blaine couldn't wait another second to have Kurt in his arms and secure the ring in the boy's finger. However, much to Blaine's frustration; as soon as Kurt hit the last note, the lights blacked-out again. Only this time, when the lights went back on; Kurt was nowhere to be seen.

Blaine kept waiting for the boy to jump out of nowhere and hug him from behind whispering 'I do' on his ear. But the minutes passed by and Kurt hadn't yet showed up. Blaine sought Louisa, Burt and Finn's eyes; but they were too as intrigued as he was. He tried calling Kurt on the microphone and asking the other employees; but no one had seen where Kurt had gone.

With the intense awkwardness filling the air, the guests began to slowly call it a night and go home. There were at least five different phones calling Kurt's cellphone; but with no answer. Some had even begun to run outside in the closest streets but with no sign of Kurt whatsoever.

After some time, it was clear that Kurt had left the bar. The few familiar faces that rested with Blaine encouraged him to go home where Kurt was probably waiting for him to have a private conversation. He was only convinced to go when everyone left had sworn to call him as soon as they had any news from Kurt.

Feeling dizzy and confused, Blaine caught a cab home and spent the whole way messaging and calling Kurt, but with no answer.

xXxXx

The journey from Callbacks to their apartment had been quiet. Nor Finn nor Rachel had much to say about the night's events, especially with Burt and Carole in the same car. Carole had assured her husband that his son was alright and probably knew what he was doing. Burt nodded but without much of an enthusiasm.

As soon as they got to the apartment, each couple said goodnight to the other and went to their separate bedrooms. Rachel took a little while with her night routine in the bathroom; and, by the time she had joined him, Finn was already under the covers with his eyes closed. She tried to get in the bed without waking him; but he was soon smiling and pulling her for a hug.

"Can we talk?"

She snuggled closer to him while answering:

"Sure; are you worried about your brother?"

"Yes and no. I'm sure he got out of there on his own and is somewhere safe. However, I always saw Kurt and Blaine as such a solid couple that seen Kurt running from marrying Blaine made me think. You know; it's not for everyone that I'd put on a unitard and shake my booty."

She turned in his embrace and placed an affectionate kiss on his nose:

"Most people might just comment on your dance moves; but all I could think about was how sexy you looked in that unitard."

"I hope you had a good view; because I don't plan on getting into another one any time soon..."

She smiled and tenderly ran her hand through his hair:

"You really love your brother; don't you?"

"Yeah; I do. But that's not the point I'm trying to make. I mean... I only agreed to help in it because I believed in their love so much. And now seen they broken up..."

Rachel kindly interrupted him:

"First of all, I don't think they are broken up because of it. They surely need to talk; but they've been through worse. And secondly; is all this worry about us?"

He sighed and then looked at her:

"Well... yes. Our whole relationship still feels fragile."

He looked like a kicked puppy and she wanted nothing else than to comfort him:

"It surely feels fragile; but I really don't want to be away from you."

A smile began forming in his face:

"Can we sing about it?"

She laughed at the oddity of the situation:

"Sure..."

He got up with a jump and went after his iPhone. He searched through it until he found the song he wanted. Giving an earphone to her and keeping the other; he began to softly sing along with The Police to their hit Every Breath You Take. Their bodies were close together as Finn was careful not to sing too loud and wake up Burt and Carole.

Every breath you take  
Every move you make  
Every bond you break  
Every step you take  
I'll be watching you

Every single day  
Every word you say  
Every game you play  
Every night you stay  
I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see  
You belong to me  
My poor heart aches  
With every step you take

Every move you make  
Every vow you break  
Every smile you fake  
Every claim you stake  
I'll be watching you

Since you've gone I been lost without a trace  
I dream at night I can only see your face  
I look around but it's you I can't replace  
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace  
I keep crying baby, baby, please

Oh can't you see  
You belong to me  
My poor heart aches  
With every step you take

Every move you make  
Every vow you break  
Every smile you fake  
Every claim you stake  
I'll be watching you  
Every move you make  
Every step you take  
I'll be watching you

I'll be watching you  
I'll be watching you  
I'll be watching you

His eyes were fixed on her and he showed all his love through the song. She could feel that the grin in her lips wouldn't go away any time soon. Finn's smile was also not fading and she felt she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

He finished singing and she felt in his arms.

"I'm so yours, Finn."

"I'm yours too. And I want to take care of you for the rest of our lives."

They went to sleep with their chests touching, their legs tangled and their lips curved up in two smiles.

xXxXx

Blaine opened the door to his apartment with a little hope in his heart:

"Kurt?"

He had no answer and found the apartment to be completely empty. He threw himself in bed exhausted and was called back to reality by his phone buzzing with a message. His heart skipped a beat when he saw it was from Kurt:

I'm sorry I did it. It was too much to take at once. But never doubt my love; okay?

He tried calling back but reached voicemail. He stared at the message a few seconds longer. He took the phone to his ear again now calling someone else:

"Hello?"

"Lou? Can I talk to Kurt?"

"He's not home?"

Blaine didn't want to deal with Louisa's false hatred towards him right then:

"Cut it off; Lou. I can't handle with you guy's little scene right now."

"Blaine, sweetie; I swear to you he's not here with me. I'm still at Eleanor's, but I can call Maggie to see if he's in my room there; which I highly doubt. Do you think we should call the police?"

The concern in her voice told him she was being completely honest. He answered in a defeated voice:

"Nah; he sent me a message. He clearly needs some time away from me... I just need to touch him and to tell I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, pumpkin. Give him the time he need and you'll be alright soon enough. What did the message say?"

"He told me not to doubt his love..."

"I think you should follow his advice. Do you want me to come over? I'm almost over my need for constant vigilance and being with you wouldn't break the rules..."

He smiled fondly:

"Thank you, Lou; but I think I'd rather be alone with my thoughts."

"Your call. But I'm here if you need me, ok? Anytime."

He thanked her and ended up the phone call. He took the ring box out of his pocket and popped it open looking at the ring and remembered all that he and Kurt had gone through together since he had bought it all those months ago, still back in Ohio. He left the ring box and his phone on their bed and decided to walk around the apartment for a while; he was pretty sure sleep wouldn't come that easily.

Entering the living room, he found the Next to Normal songbook on the piano standing where he and Kurt had been rehearsing the day before. He sighed and sat there; turning the pages to keep his mind off things. He found one of Diana's songs and thought it would fit his moment.

Sitting by the piano, he played and sang I Dreamed a Dance and let his tears run free.

I saw you light the ballroom  
With your sparkling eyes of blue.  
Graceful as an angel's wing,   
I dreamed a dance with you.  
You whispered slyly, softly.  
You told me you would be true.  
We spun around a thousand stars  
I dreamed a dance with you.

I know the night is dying dear...   
I know the day will dawn...

He remembered all his dreams of his future with Kurt and all the promises they'd made to each other. Almost as if he could see it; the figures of him and Kurt dancing around in their living-room dressed to the nines in matching tuxedos where balling around in his mind. To complete his vision, Kurt's voice came to his ears singing Gabe's part.

Diana & Gabe:  
The dancers may disappear  
Still the dance goes on... 

Gabe:  
And on.

Diana:  
I'll wake alone tomorrow,   
The dream of our dances through.  
But now until forever, love,   
I'll live to dance with you.

I'll dream my love...   
I'll live my love...   
And I'll die to dance with

He finished the last notes on the piano and left it there to go try to find some sleep.

He found his phone and the ring side by side on the bed. He opened Kurt's message one more time and began to think what he should answer. He'd like to ask where Kurt was; what was he doing and if he was mad at him. He wanted something that reassured him that he still had the love of the man of his dreams. He craned they were broken up and he feared if he'd have to start an apartment hunt because Kurt would not want to live with him anymore. He wondered how the night would have ended if he hadn't rushed things over and proposed.

Living all that to another time, he decided to give Kurt the time he needed. He typed one simple response and cuddled Kurt's pillow to try to sleep.

"Okay. I miss you."

xXxXx

Louisa had received a mysterious message from Kurt:

Meet me at a coffee shop at 123 4th Avenue, between 12th and 13th.

With a mix of concern and curiosity, she had took the subway to that part of city they almost never went and began to look for the coffee place. She found a friendly looking shopping named Think Coffee at the said address. She sighed relieved when she entered the store and saw Kurt chatting to Burt on a table by the corner. They waved as they saw her entering and she bought a Chai Frappuccino before joining them.

"Okay, pumpkin; you know I love you but you own us all an apology!"

Kurt's face showed both outrage and guilty:

"Hey! I was the one betrayed by my own family. How could you all know Blaine would propose before me?"

Burt laughed at him:

"That's the point of asking for permission, kiddo. You know better than anybody that Blaine's an old-fashioned guy."

Kurt was a little angry:

"But how could you give it?"

Burt looked intensely in his son's eyes in that way he had of telling you that, although he'd support you in anything, you were crossing a line:

"Because a) I thought that was what you wanted and b) he convinced me when he said you'd want a lot of time to prepare a big white wedding so I wouldn't have to worry about you getting married before you were legally allowed to drink. Besides, he'd have done it even without my permission and you'd have said yes anyway."

"I haven't said it yet."

Louisa smiled fondly of her pouting cousin. She lovingly placed her hand on his arm:

"Kurt, that's not why you're mad about; you've spent your whole birthday trying to discover what Blaine was planning. You knew it was something big and it must have crossed your mind that he wanted to propose."

Kurt looked down while his cheeks and ears were turning red:

"It crossed but I..."

He never finished the sentence and Burt and Louisa exchanged a significant look. She drew her chair closer to her cousin and affectionately passed her arm around his shoulder:

"Pumpkin, you're among the people that love you more than anything in this universe. You can open up..."

He looked at her and smiled, pulling her closer to a hug. It took him a few more moments and more sips from his coffee before starting to speak:

"It's not the idea of spending the rest of my life with Blaine... when we moved in together; this idea was pretty real in my mind. It's the fact of making it official. I'm confused! The past begins to weight all back on me and I wonder if saying yes is the right choice or a big mistake. Do you understand?"

Burt took one of each hand in his:

"Kiddo, marriage is a big deal. It's fine if you need to take your time."

Louisa needed to intervene:

"What's not okay is for you to disappear and not say to anyone on your family where have you been. We were worried sick; you know? And the worse is Blaine: the poor guy is a mess. He's insecure that you don't love him anymore and I even saw him at NYADA one day without a single drop of hair-gel."

Kurt's tears started to flow down his face. Burt rubbed his thumb on the back of his son's hand:

"Where have you been?"

Kurt swallowed a sob and look at his father:

"At Isabelle's. That night when I left the bar, she was the only one that wasn't there and that I knew would open the door to me at that hour. Her apartment is on the building upstairs."

Louisa tentatively asked:

"Can I tell Blaine that?"

Kurt looked at her in despair:

"Please, don't! I need some time away from him to sort things out."

She went on:

"Will you be showing at NYADA soon?"

"Not until I have everything worked out in my head. I'm catching up with my internship while at Isabelle's."

She rolled her eyes:

"Diving into work is not the answer to your problems, Kurtie. What you need is to talk to your boyfriend."

He chuckled in spite of his tears:

"At least something positive came out of it: look at you defending Blaine to me, boo."

She didn't know if she hugged him or punched him. She decided to poke his nose in an annoying way:

"It's because Bowtie haven't done anything wrong this time."

Burt smiled seeing his two kids being there for each other:

"Come on, kiddo; will you tell your answer at least for us? Have I learned all the choreography of Single Ladies for nothing?"

Kurt's face lit up with his irresistible smile:

"That was a wonderful birthday gift. I have the most wonderful family in the universe."

Louisa smirked at him:

"So promise you'll at least consider adding an annoying little hobbit to it. Otherwise, all my teasing would be directed at you."

He approached his face to hers:

"That's a fair point..."

Burt laughed finishing to ease the atmosphere. He looked at his watch and noted he had to go in order not to miss his flight home. Louisa also had to meet Eleanor soon and decided to join him on the subway ride. They both turned to Kurt on their way out of the shop; the boy was intensely analyzing a piece of paper on the message board. Lou called his attention:

"Kurt? Are you coming?"

"Not now; I promised Isabelle to take her fresh coffee on my way back. You guys go ahead."

Louisa raised one eyebrow suspiciously:

"You do know that that's a message board and not where they serve the coffee, right?"

Kurt smirked:

"I'm not insane yet, boo. You better go or you'll miss your appointments."

With one last check on his watch, Burt pulled the girl out of the shop. However, Kurt was up to something and no one would convince her otherwise.

xXxXx

At least her time apart from Finn had brought Rachel a good thing: she had her best friend Brody back. With Blaine and Louisa in town; she and Kurt had grown more and more apart. She guessed it was natural; even more if you considered that Kurt was her boyfriend's brother. To short things up, it was good to have someone to talk to and to help her with Finn issues. Ironically, Finn's number one issue had been Brody himself.

Nevertheless, she needed someone to talk to and she was going to meet Brody for lunch, even if she had to do it without telling Finn. Wasn't she allowed to have friends anymore?

For being too deep in thought, Brody scared her when he joined her on the cafeteria. However, his amused smile made him instantly forgivable.

"I think we can truly say that no one can throw a party like Kurt Hummel, am I right?"

"Tell me about it: I had his father and brother with me the whole weekend. No one knows how to pull up some drama like the Hudson-Hummel family."

Brody smirked:

"Are you talking about the in-laws or mister boyfriend is back to giving you trouble?"

Despite having a complete jerk as best friend; Rachel couldn't keep the grin out of her face remembering how wonderful her boyfriend was:

"Quite the opposite; Finn and I spent the weekend honeymooning in the moments he wasn't joining the collective freak-out about his brother."

"Have you talked all your problems through?"

Brody knew how to hit the spot. She and Finn had been pretending their problems didn't exist. They were again postponing and denying them until they couldn't avoid them anymore. She was intensely staring at her salad when Brody's chuckle caught her attention.

"So typical you; Rach. You know that's not the mature thing to do; right?"

"And what's the mature thing to do? Try to win your ex-girlfriend back by showing her your abs on a go-go boy costume?"

"You're just jealous that you'll never be as good cheerleader as I'm a go-go boy..."

He got quiet while perceiving that his last comment had backfired. She touched his arm to make him look at her:

"Seriously now; how are things with Louisa?"

"Same old; same old... But I do believe that she's not over me and I won't stop fighting for her."

Someone clearing their throat took them by surprise. Rachel didn't know if she was thrilled to have Finn visiting her at NYADA or completely scared about his reaction towards Brody. Her friend also seemed jumpy, because he instantly started to stir in his chair.

Finn had a serious face when he tapped Brody's shoulder:

"No need for stress. What about we agree on some truce, man?"

Brody smiled sincerely:

"Wasn't that what we tried some months ago?"

"Some things got in our way... But what about now? Truce?"

Brody smiled and nodded. Rachel couldn't be happier about the important men of her life being in peace.

xXxXx

"Why the Central Park, Lou?"

Louisa could understand why Blaine was so grumpy in general these days. However, what she failed to understand was why he couldn't agree that a sunny afternoon in the park would lift his spirit.

"Because you had a free period; because it's a beautiful day and because you need it."

He pouted again:

"What I need is Kurt back."

Her first urge was to roll her eyes and sigh; but she was trying to be a supportive good friend:

"You know you haven't actually lost him."

"I miss him home; I miss seing him. You've been seeing him; tell him I withdraw the proposal if that's what he needs to come back."

She passed her arm around his shoulder:

"I saw him once; and you know pretty well that my family loyalty doesn't allow me to give you more details about it. Other than that, we've been exchanging text messages like you guys have. The one thing he keeps repeating is that he loves you very much."

Blaine sighed:

"He tells me that too. But it's still not enough; I miss everything about him."

She could see his pain and it broke her heart:

"I know, pumpkin. He's confused and needs some time to think things through. Just give him this time and you guys will be fine. Come on; let me buy you a hot-dog for lunch."

"Only one?"

He teasing her again was a good sign. He even smiled a little during their junk lunch sitting on a quiet area of the park. Louisa was feeling very relaxed in their little escape; she had been feeling fine for a while and was starting to crave going back to her normal life. Her daydreams where interrupted by an elbow in her ribbons:

"Look, Lou; it's a squirrel! Let me take a picture of him to send it to Kurt."

The end of the sentence dropped of his mouth as he remembered he shouldn't be sending random pictures to Kurt. She felt a little pain in her chest:

"Send it."

Blaine looked puzzled at her:

"Wasn't you the one telling me just now to respect that he needs some time?"

"Giving him the space he needs doesn't mean not remembering him that you think about him all the time. Besides, who could be mad at something so cute?"

He smirked:

"Thanks."

She hit him in the arm causing them both to laugh:

"Jerk!"

Taking his smile as a cue; she knew then what she had to do:

"You really want to know what I think?"

She began to sing Beauty and the Beast's theme song. He was at first awestruck but slowly began to enjoy her Disney a capella rendition.

Tale as old as time  
True as it can be  
Barely even friends  
Then somebody bends  
Unexpectedly

Just a little change  
Small to say the least  
Both a little scared  
Neither one prepared

Beauty and the beast

Seeing her plan succeed; she put more soul into her performance.

Ever just the same  
Ever a surprise  
Ever as before  
Ever just as sure  
As the sun will rise

By the end of it; she was singing a completely caricatured version of a song originally sung by a tea-pot.

Tale as old as time  
Tune as old as song  
Bitter sweet and strange  
Finding you can change  
Learning you were wrong  
Certain as the sun  
Rising in the east  
Tale as old as time  
Song as old as rhyme  
Beauty and the beast

Tale as old as time  
Song as old as rhyme  
Beauty and the beast

Blaine proved himself to be an enthusiast audience. He graced her with a standing ovation by the end of it; to which she thanked with a flourished bow.

"You wouldn't miss the opportunity to call me a beast; right?"

She chuckled:

"Of course not! Especially when the opportunity presented itself so graciously."

Blaine shook his head at her silliness but then stared at her with a serious look:

"Thank you."

She pursed her lips in a fond way:

"That's what friends are for."

xXxXx

Blaine felt like his heart would jump out of his mouth: he had been awakened by a text from Kurt asking him to be at the Madison Square Park by the Chester Alan Arthur Monument at noon. So Blaine was facing the longest subway ride of his life.

He wasn't sure what to wait and he definitively had no idea of what Kurt was up to. But one thing made him sing while preparing breakfast that morning: he could hope.

He arrived early at the park and began to look around trying to see Kurt anywhere. Kurt wasn't there early like him and he began to be anxious that Kurt wouldn't show up at all. He knew it was silly because Kurt wouldn't have messaged him otherwise; but he had been very nervous and insecure lately.

By the stroke of noon, Blaine began to hear music and look for the source of it. Kurt appeared from a corner carrying a small stereo and opened a huge smile when he saw him. A small crowd had started to form around them; staring curiously at the couple.

Kurt walked closer to him but remained a few steps away. He placed the stereo on the ground and turned to Blaine with a nervous look on his face:

"A couple of years ago, a boy sent me a text message that basically changed my life. I never knew something so small could have such a huge impact on my life. However, it was because of that message that I connected to that boy in a way I'll never connect with anyone else. This one is for you, honey."

Kurt started to sing Little Numbers from Boy. Blaine could feel his heart swelling from renewed love for the boy serenading him. Kurt had even prepared some dance moves to go along with it. Blaine couldn't suppress the huge grin that never left his lips; he began to snap his fingers in rhythm with the song.

Waited for your calling, for the moon  
To release me from the longest afternoon  
I've re-arranged parts of my living room  
But time is hard to kill since I met you

Looking at the cars that drive on by  
While spring is making promises outside  
Red cars are quite rare I realize  
Then I wonder which color you like

Seven little numbers baby, they could be a start  
Seven little numbers baby, I know yours by heart

Woo-oh, oh-oh, all the pretty things that we could be  
Woo-oh, oh-oh, I feel you in every heart beat  
Woo-oh, oh-oh, were you ever in a dream that could come true  
These numbers could be lucky for you

Watch the sky change to a darkened blue  
I can't think of another thing to do  
And every song just makes me think of you  
Because the singers sounds as if she was longing,  
As if she was longing, too

Seven little numbers baby, they could be a start  
Seven little numbers baby, I know yours by heart  
Seven little numbers baby, they could make a change  
Seven little numbers baby, make a fire out of this flame

Woo-oh, oh-oh, all the pretty things that we could be  
Woo-oh, oh-oh, I feel you in every heart beat  
Woo-oh, oh-oh, were you ever in a dream that could come true  
These numbers could be lucky for you

I read your name on every wall, on every wall, tell me  
Is there a cure for me at all, for me at all, tell me  
I read your name on every wall, on every wall, tell me  
Is there a cure for me at all, for me at all

Woo-oh, oh-oh, all the pretty things that we could be  
Woo-oh, oh-oh, I feel you in every heart beat  
Woo-oh, oh-oh, were you ever in a dream that could come true  
These numbers could be lucky for you

Woo-oh, oh-oh  
Woo-oh, oh-oh  
Woo-oh, oh-oh  
These numbers could be lucky  
These numbers could be lucky for you

Very uncharacteristically, Kurt finished his song and passed his arms around Blaine's neck, who took the opportunity to hug him by the waist making sure he'd never let Kurt go again.

Kurt smiled and whispered in his ear:

"In case you were wondering; my answer is yes."

Blaine's smile didn't last long; because, soon enough, Kurt went against his problem with public display of affection to kiss his fiancé right then and there. They heard the wolf-whistles from their audience; which made them laugh in the middle of the kiss.

Blaine took a small ring-box out of his pocket, making it suddenly weight tons less. Kurt smirked maliciously at him:

"You brought the ring?"

"I brought the ring. I had a hitch you'd call me here to give me an answer."

"Cocky."

Blaine chuckled:

"But you love me."

Kurt smiled in that irresistible way of his while extending his hand to Blaine:

"I do."

Blaine carefully placed the ring where it was supposed to have been for months.

xXxXx

Since they have entered their building and the public display of affection restriction no longer applied; Kurt was having a hard time getting Blaine off him. Not that he wasn't as eager to touch Blaine in every way possible as his fiancé was: but he knew the surprises weren't over. He prayed that people had done as he had asked and everything was ready for them at the apartment.

He put the key in its hole but turned to Blaine before opening the door:

"I have a surprise for you..."

"Another?"

Kurt nodded and finally opened the door to see that his surprise was peacefully waking from its nap in a basket in the middle of the living room. Blaine's eyes were like ones of a child on Christmas morning while he looked from the surprise to Kurt:

"Kurt! A puppy? But you said you didn't like dogs in apartments."

Kurt smiled coyly as the dog and Blaine ran straight to each other. The small caramel golden retriever was yapping and trying to bite the finger Blaine was shaking in front of her. He knew he had taken a good decision seeing the way Blaine and the puppy interacted:

"But you do; honey. I saw an announcement for puppies on the coffee-house below Isabelle's building..."

Blaine interrupted him with pain in his eyes:

"That's where you were?"

"Yes. Anyway; I thought that would be the perfect way of saying I'm ready to make a commitment with you. But of course the condition for her to stay is that you'll be the one cleaning up after her and taking her to her needed walks in Central Park."

Blaine pulled him down to sit on the floor by his side and leaned very close to him:

"So I got you back and a puppy on the same day and all I have to do is take care of the two of you? Deal! I'm in."

Kurt smirked:

"You better make sure she stays away from my scarves; otherwise she'll be out on the same minute. I know she'll be kind of huge for our tinny apartment; but I couldn't resist her puppy eyes that looked so much like yours."

Blaine was an inch from making out with him; but they were interrupted by a small sound indicating that the dog had just thrown up on Blaine. Kurt couldn't help but laugh:

"Oh honey; aren't you a puppy magnet. She seems to like you."

Blaine's good mood was unshakable. He went to clean himself up and came back with a huge grin on his face:

"You never told me if she has a name."

"I thought we should name her together. I've been calling her cutie puppy; but I think Elphaba would suit her better."

"I don't know... She doesn't look like an Elphaba to me. What about Katy Perry?"

Blaine's enthusiastic puppy eyes were almost as big as the puppy's itself. Kurt felt a little bad for stating his opinion:

"What if we met some woman named Katy? It'd be extremely awkward to tell our dog has the same name as her..."

He was relieved to see Blaine didn't take it the wrong way. His boyf... fiancé looked more concerned about finding the perfect name. Blaine smiled triumphantly after a while:

"I know a name you won't veto."

"Do tell."

Blaine sat down next to Kurt and spoke in the cutest of ways:

"Satine."

Kurt felt warmer towards the dog now they had found the perfect name for her. He took the puppy in his arms and pecked Blaine on the lips. He rested his head on Blaine's shoulder and began to pet the dog with him:

"Welcome to the family, Satine Anderson-Hummel. You'll be the most spoiled and better dressed dog in all New York."


	17. Next to Normal

Louisa ringed the bell to her cousin's apartment and heard the high-pitched barks of a puppy. It was soon followed by a yell of "Blaine! I said it a thousand times that I don't want Satine on my couch!". Her laughter was joined by Kurt's, who had then opened the door:

"Welcome, boo."

"I came to finally meet my flurry niece."

Almost as if she had been called, the dog got hid of Blaine's grip and came running to lick Louisa's foot. The boy came right after, wearing a proud-parent smile. Louisa had never seen him so happy and he looked like even more comfortable with his life choices when he hugged Kurt and their engagement rings shone. She smiled from where she had being playing with Satine:

"Now I understand why you can't shut up about her; she's really adorable."

They both had dopey smiles on and she shook her head:

"I almost forgot; here, this is for her."

Kurt got the package from her hands with genuinely curiosity in his eyes. She watched him unwrap the fake-diamond collar and the way his eyes sparkled examining it. She chuckled:

"I brought her a diamond collar so she can be a real Moulin Rouge's Diamond Dog."

"Thank you, boo. It's gorgeous."

Kurt took Satine and went with her to the couch to try to put her new collar on. Blaine and Louisa just looked at each other trying not to laugh at the irony. He passed his arm around her shoulder and drove her in:

"Can I offer you a tea or something? I'd love to hear your impressions about the first week back."

"Tea would be great; thanks. But, you were there with me in almost every class, Blaine; what do you want to know?"

Kurt, who had managed to dress the dog up, joined them in their way to the kitchen:

"But I wasn't; tell me everything."

She smiled coyly:

"There isn't much to tell... I got a lot of catching up to do. Cassandra seems to be looking for every little opportunity to correct me in a way that will embarrass me in front of the class..."

Blaine came with the tea mugs and a malicious smirk:

"And what about Brody?"

"About Brody, Anderson; you owe me a lot. What were you thinking when you invited him to Kurt's party?"

Blaine smiled like a five-years-old who had just dropped his zippy cup on the white carpet and managed to slip the blame to a sibling:

"It reached my ears that there were some action between the two of you during Valentine's Day and... I couldn't help myself. Deep down, I'm a romantic at heart."

Louisa rolled her eyes and Kurt came to her rescue:

"But it still doesn't allow you to help him up, Blaine! We all know what he did and why Lou wants to be away from him."

Blaine looked down and spoke in a small voice:

"I'm just a firm believer of second chances. People sometimes do things they regret later because they are confused."

Kurt grabbed his hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. It seemed to have worked because Blaine looked up at him and smiled. Louisa cleared her throat:

"I'm not exactly thinking about if Brody deserves a second chance or not. All I know is that I need some time to myself. I want to just concentrate on healing and Brody can be a lot to deal with."

They looked at her and nodded. She sighed and went on, taking all the weight out of her shoulders:

"The most difficult part is the Next to Normal rehearsals. You are there; you must be able to touch the awkwardness as much as me. It's all late because he was waiting for me; I feel guilty and strange at the same time. I mean; I never asked him to wait."

Blaine smiled friendly:

"Don't feel guilty; he did it because he wanted. He's obsessed that you're his lucky charm and that he won't debut the play without you. It's beginning to be a tight schedule for him if he wants to graduate."

Kurt reprimanded him:

"Blaine! No need to remember her of these details. Boo, you have nothing to blame yourself for; it's all Brody's decision. We can put it up in two weeks like planned. It was almost done already; we just need to go through some final touches. And Blaine; I'd really appreciate if you stopped pushing that bastard towards my cousin."

Blaine blushed:

"It's just that I ship Brouisa so much..."

Even Louisa couldn't suppress her laughter.

xXxXx

Louisa and Rachel's feud reached a whole new level since Louisa's return is all NYADA talked about the last week. Finn has lost the count of how many times his girlfriend has said his cousin's name the last couple of days. He tried to zone out of it whenever Rachel started her monologues; but the level of stress she's been in is impossible to ignore.

"... and now, just because she's back from the dead, it's as if she's the best performer NYADA has ever seen. I was..."

Finn gently interrupted her by stroking her cheek:

"Rach, I'm getting worried that this might get you sick. Why do you hate Louisa so much? And why does her return affect you in such a way?"

"Because she's not all that they are giving her credit for!"

That was his Rachel. He tried not to startle her:

"But babe; let her be. If she's not talented enough; life will tell her."

"Are you on her side too?"

"I'm on no one's side; because my point is that there are no sides. Are you mad at her because you think she's stealling your thunder?"

Rachel pouted and he knew he was right. He cupped her face and stole a kiss. She smiled feebly and he hugged her against his chest:

"You're a star, Rach. No matter how many other stars there are in the sky; no one can ever wipe out your glow."

He started hearing she mumbling something on his chest, but it was so low that he couldn't distingue any word:

"I'm sorry, babe?"

"I said that I challenged her to a Midnight Madness."

He knew Rachel's ambition knew no limits; but this time he just hoped for the best:

"Is that the singing fight club that exists in NYADA?"

"The secret singing fight club; yes. She accepted my challenged and after Thursday everyone will know who the real NYADA star is."

Oh, boy! That couldn't be good news.

xXxXx

Brody really liked to be involved in the biggest number of things he possibly could. At that moment, so near from his graduation, he could say that he had taken the most of what NYADA had to offer (in absolutely all the aspects). However, that night he was regretting being who he was. Rachel had set up a challenge for a duel with Louisa and his ex-girlfriend, current love affection, coming up from a suicidal attempt, who couldn't stand the idea of someone thinking she was weak had wildly said yes. To top things up; Brody was the official host of their illegal fight club.

He left his dorm way earlier than he needed and walked to the place where they'd held the Midnight Madness; hoping that Louisa would also be early so he could have a word with her. He just forgot that he had to wish she'd show up unaccompanied. She was indeed early, but Maggie, Kurt and Blaine were there escorting her.

He gathered all his courage to walk up to them and ask to have a word with her. Kurt and Maggie immediately exchanged a disgusted look, but Louisa calmed them down:

"I can have a word with him. You can go ahead and find your places; I'll be with you in a minute."

He was relieved that she agreed to talk; but he was then getting nervous realizing he hadn't planned what he wanted to say:

"So, how are you? How has this week been?"

She smiled politely:

"I'm fine; thank you. I have a lot of work to do; but everything is fine on the other aspects."

"I'm glad to hear it."

She looked puzzled at him:

"You didn't call me here just to ask me that, right?"

He took a deep breath and kind of chuckled: she'd be the one to want to go straight to the subject.

"No. I wanted to remind you that you don't have to do this."

"The Midnight Madness? Aren't you, as host, supposed to be impartial?"

"Screw it, Louisa! We're not in normal circumstances and I worry."

"Would you say that if I hadn't tried to kill myself?"

He exhaled exasperate. She could be incredibly annoying when she put her mind to it.

"Yes! I don't like seeing the woman I love and my best friend wanting to face each other in a duel; even if it's just a singing one!"

"Bullshit! You let Rachel and Kurt face each other last year with no problem. You just think I'm more breakable."

If it wasn't so serious; he'd be laughing at her inaccuracy:

"Please, Louisa; you're the strongest person I know! Kurt is a nice guy and I like him; but he isn't nearly as important as you or Rachel in my life."

She rolled her eyes in mockery:

"If that's all; I'm going in."

"God damn it, Louisa; why are you so fucking stubborn?"

"Because my last name is fucking Hummel."

She was walking away from him when he reminded to stop her:

"Wait!"

She looked at him but didn't walk back.

"Can we be friends? I really miss you and I want to help if I can..."

"No funny business?"

"None at all."

"I'll make sure to keep you up to your promise, Weston."

xXxXx

Kurt damned the Hummels' stubbornness at moments like that. Why did Louisa have to prove she wasn't scared of Rachel? Why did she agree to talk to Brody minutes before it just to show she wasn't scared? His nerves were keeping him fidgeting so much that Blaine had to hold his hand in order to try to calm him down.

Louisa had walked in and smirked at them in a confident way. She had no time to walk towards them because Brody entered just after her and was calling everyone's attention to start:

"Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to another NYADA's Midnight Madness. Tonight, sophomore student Rachel Berry has challenged freshman Louisa Hummel. As Louisa is less than one week away from opening a play; there are special rules that apply to that situation. They'll be singing a duet from said play and Louisa can't sing the parts of her role. The chosen song is Wish I Were Here from "Next to Normal"; in which Rachel will be singing Natalie's parts and Louisa Diana's one. Are you girls ready?"

Rachel had a murderous glance fixed on Louisa, who wouldn't go down without a fight. Kurt loved them both and knew them both very well to know that could easily end in a blood bath. Even Blaine seemed tense sitting at his side. The girls gave a little nod indicating they were ready and Brody commanded the band to start.

The rapid rock notes were pretty loud in the, otherwise deserted, university. Everyone in the room was holding their breaths because this was a battle of epic proportions. As Louisa began to sing Diana's part; it was as if everyone breathed as one. The girl was giving it all to her performance and all the eyes (especially Rachel's) were measuring her. Rachel's part as Natalie wasn't any less passionate. She might not be as close to the sung subject as Louisa might; but she wouldn't lose a diva-off for nothing in the world.

Diana:  
In an instant, lightning flashes,   
And the burst might leave me blind—  
When the bolt of lightning crashes,   
And it burns right through my mind.

It's like someone drained my brain out,   
Set my frozen mind to thaw.  
Let the lethargy and pain out,   
While I stood and watched in awe.

I am riding on the brightest buzz...   
I am worlds away from who I was...   
And they told me it would change me—  
Though they don't know how it does.

I have lived a life of clouds and grey,   
But this is crystal clear...   
Wish I were here.

I imagine it's remarkable.  
Exuberant. Austere.  
Wish I were here.

Natalie:  
It's euphoria, it's anger, It's the winter wind, it's fire..  
And it kills my deepest hunger,   
As it fills me with desire.

When the song reached the part where the two of them would have to sing together; it was something worth entering NYADA's history. There was enough energy in that improvised stage to start an earthquake. They were fuming.

Natalie & Diana:  
I'm the light and heat of ev'ry sun...   
I'm a bullet from a magic gun...   
And I'm trying to enjoy it  
But I'm missing all the fun. 

Am I feeling what I think I'm feeling?   
The hope, the heat, and fear?   
Wish I were here. 

Is this someone else's head trip?   
Do I just disappear?   
Wish I were here.  
Wish I were here.

Plug me in,   
And turn me on,   
And flip the switch—  
I'm good as gone.

It slips my skin,   
And trips my brain.   
I feel the burn,   
But I don't' feel the pain.

Is my brain reborn   
Or is it wrecked?   
In freedom or in fear?   
Wish I were here. 

Have I blown my mind forever?   
Is cloudy my new clear?   
Wish I were here...   
Wish I were here...   
Wish I were.

Natalie:  
Can I hide my stupid hunger?  
Fake some confidence and cheer?  
Wish I were here.  
Wish I were here.

Brody approached them awkwardly to start asking for the votes. Each of the girls stood on one side of a line marked on the floor and people would vote by walking to one of the sides. Maggie, who was still near them, got up and walked straight to Louisa's one. Finn never actually walked away from Rachel and stood on her side, even if no one was sure if his vote counted. Kurt looked at Blaine who knew, exactly like him, that they would get someone very mad at them whichever side they walked to.

To ease things up from them and for Brody, who couldn't vote and was clearly nervous, there was already a winner and by a large margin. They were more comfortable to walk to Louisa's side knowing it would not intervene in Rachel's victory. Brody declared Rachel the winner and, deep down, Kurt was happy it could erase last year's results.

He approached his cousin and she smiled at him looking resigned. He pulled her to a hug.

xXxXx

Louisa hadn't entered the Midnight Madness to prove everybody she was better than Rachel. The only reason driving her was that she couldn't not respond to a challenge and, indeed, she and Rachel had things they needed to settle down. At first, she thought that Rachel's winning was quiet positive since the girl would stop bothering her. However, she hadn't anticipated that the whole school would be pointing her out on the corridors and whispering with each other as she passed the hallways. It did nothing to help with her anxiety.

If her first weeks back had gone by with no major incident, the days after the "battle" were unbearable. Not only the crooked looks, but also the constant tension she brought to every room she entered were beginning to reach her nerves. The worse were the Next to Normal final rehearsals.

The cast of the play was basically composed of her friends and family; but at that point they were constant joined by a crew that never fully warmed up to Brody's idea of going against NYADA's taboo and casting, not only one, but two freshman for his play. She walked to another rehearsal and could feel the air changing when she entered the room.

Brody saw the commotion she had caused and tried to break the ice:

"Alright; so we're all here. Ned, what was the song you wanted to redo the lighting to?"

The boy's voice came from the lightening cabin informing it was I've Been, one of Dan's solo.

"Very well. Kurt, I guess this means you're up."

Standing in this room  
Well I wonder what comes now.  
I know I have to help her  
But hell if I know how.

And all the times that  
I've been told  
The way her illness goes  
The truth of it  
Is no one really knows

Of course she had seen Kurt singing that song a million times during rehearsals; but this time was different. He just stood there all alone in the stage and sang about how he worries about his beloved one. How 'she' is always in his mind and the things he did to help her and take care of her. 

And every day this act we act  
Gets more and more absurd...   
And all my fears just side inside me,   
Screaming to be heard...   
I know they won't, though  
Not a single word.

I was here  
At her side  
When she called,   
When she cried.  
How could she  
Leave me on my own?

Will it work?  
This cure?  
There's no way  
To be sure...   
But I'm weary to the bone.

His eyes met hers and a different sparkle flew between them. From that moment on; he began to sing it to her.

And whenever she goes flying,   
I keep my feet right on the ground  
Oh, now I need a lift  
And there's no one around.

And I've never had  
To face the world  
Without her at my side...   
Now I'm strolling  
Right beside her  
As the black hole opens wide...   
Mine is just a slower suicide.

I've been here  
For the show,   
Every high,   
Every low,   
But it's the worst  
We've ever known...

She could feel her eyes getting moist with tears. She felt a pain in her chest realizing how much she had put him through just to be there for her. It was becoming too much to take and she got up from her chair to leave. However, on her way out; she found Blaine's comforting arms and they were enough to make her stay.

She's been hurt  
And how  
But I can't  
Give up now...   
'Cause I've never been alone...   
I could never be alone.

xXxXx

Emma Schuester knew perfectly well how important the Glee kids were to her husband. Particularly the ones that were in the club when he first started coaching it. She saw how bugged he was for not being able to go to Kurt's epic birthday party, where they'd all reunite, because he was taking the New Directions to regionals.

That was one of the main reasons she had put all her sanitary concerns aside and agreed to travel with him to New York to watch Kurt and Blaine's new musical. They had flown in a couple of days in advance because he wanted to "expose her to some real Broadway", as he had put it. They were headed to an Italian canteen to have dinner with Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, Finn and Kurt's cousin, who was living in New York too. She wouldn't deny that she was apprehensive about this dinner.

When they arrived; Finn and Rachel were already there. The boy got startled up when he saw then arriving and got up to greed them in his goofy way of not knowing what to do with his hands:

"Mr. and Mrs. Schuster. It's so good to have you here."

Finn was clearly nervous and Will saw that too. He shoved off the boy's extended hand to pull him in for a hug:

"It's wonderful to see you in New York, Finn. And it's especially true because I know you're chasing after your dreams."

"No hard feelings then?"

Will laughed:

"None at all, Finn. I thought you already knew that; but, seeing you didn't; I'm glad we cleared this up."

That was just the first awkwardness of a very eventful night. Kurt and Blaine arrived a couple of minutes later; deeply engaged in a conversation with a girl with pale skin. Rachel, who had been nothing but friendly until then, stiffed in her chair and made a disgusted face.

They introduced the girl as Louisa, Kurt's Brazilian cousin, who was Blaine's classmate at NYADA. Kurt was very excited to have them meet his cousin. The girl was quiet, friendly and polite. Except with Rachel; Emma sensed that there was some animosity between the two of them. Will was so happy to be with his former students that he was completely oblivious to any kind of group dynamics going on. He waited to the new three to sit down and went on with an apology:

"Kurt! I'm so sorry I couldn't be here for your party. It was regionals day; you know? Anyway, I heard that all of the former New Directions was here."

Kurt smiled:

"Oh yeah; we missed you, Mr. Schue. No one else is planning on coming to our debut because they used their money to come to the party. Not complaining, though; I loved seeing everyone."

Rachel smirked maliciously:

"I'd also have chosen to have witnessed Kurt's party if I had to pick just one up."

Finn was alarmed and looked like he was pinching her under the table. Kurt, however, didn't lose his poker-face. He just stretched his left-hand ring finger, where a huge engagement ring was sparkling, to Rachel as if he was making a point. Emma was awestruck:

"You got engaged?"

Blaine's grin couldn't fit his face as he grabbed Kurt's hand:

"We did. I proposed at the party."

Rachel was snarky again:

"And Kurt's reaction wasn't the best."

Louisa was very angry when she spoke the first time in the night:

"Enough; Rachel! You're just jealous that you're not the one engaged."

Rachel wasn't affected by the girl's comment:

"At least I'm not so psycho that I can't even be in a relationship."

Louisa had enough and got up in a rush. Without even bothering looking back; she walked away and vanished on the street. It wasn't without giving Emma enough time to figure there was something else they didn't know. Finn pulled Rachel by the arm to go talk in private with her and Kurt excused himself to go after his cousin. Blaine was the one apologizing for them all:

"I'm really sorry you had to witness it. Louisa and Rachel have some baggage and they had sort of a fight last week. It was clearly too soon to have the two of them on the same table."

Blaine was a good kid and all he was trying to do was protect his family. However, Emma had studied and analyzed young people for far too long to be convinced by such a feeble exclamation. Judging by the reactions of the others; she was almost sure Louisa wasn't the one to be blamed for her temper.

Emma also excused herself and went looking for Kurt and the girl. When she reached a point in the restaurant's entrance where she could see the street; she saw the two of them hugging and couldn't help but overhearing their conversation. Louisa was pleading Kurt:

"She's right, though. I shouldn't be fooling myself. It's obvious that I can't be on a play next Friday."

Kurt looked like they had had that discussion a million times:

"I also think you shouldn't be fooling yourself. Try fooling everyone else."

The girl looked confused and Kurt smirked triumphantly:

"Being an actress is all about transforming into someone else on the stage and telling their story, not yours. And that, dear cousin, you're a master in. You know that one of my favorite musicals is Chicago, right? And you know what they say?"

"Oh, please Kurt; don't."

But the girl's pleading were worthless this time. Kurt was already sitting her down on a bench and belting to Chicago's Razzle Dazzle.

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it  
And the reaction will be passionate

Give 'em the old hocus pocus  
Bead and feather 'em  
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?  
What if your hinges all are rusting?  
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?

Razzle dazzle 'em  
And they'll never catch wise

He was really the entertainer and would mesmerize any audience. The girl was soon in a fit of giggles.

Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous  
Row after row will grow vociferous  
Give 'em the old flim flam flummox  
Fool and fracture 'em  
How can they hear the truth above the roar?

Throw 'em a fake and a finagle  
They'll never know you're just a bagel,  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
And they'll beg you for more!

Give 'em the old double whammy  
Daze and dizzy 'em  
Back since the days of old Methuselah  
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-lah

Give 'em the old three ring circus  
Stun and stagger 'em  
When you're in trouble, go into your dance

Though you are stiffer than a girder  
They'll let you get away with murder  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
And you've got a romance  
Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
Show 'em the first rate sorcerer you are  
Long as you keep 'em way off balance  
How can they spot you've got no talents?  
Razzle Dazzle 'em  
Razzle Dazzle 'em

And they'll make you a star!

When he finished in an elaborate flourish; the girl started applauding him. Emma joined her and caught both of their attentions.

She cleared her throat and extended her hand to the girl:

"I think we haven't been properly introduced: Emma Schuester, guidance counselor."

"Louisa Hummel... erm... aspiring actress?"

Emma smiled feeling warm towards the girl:

"I'd cut the "aspiring" loose. I will always stand to 'make your dreams come true'. But here; have my card and call me if you need a friend."

xXxXx

Louisa had barely exchanged three words with this woman; but somehow she had trusted Emma. She still wasn't sure why she'd agreed on paying her a visit in her office though. Louisa kept checking the name on the visit card on her hand and the one at the door. She took a deep breath and decided to knock.

Before she could, though, Will Schuester appeared on the other end of the corridor singing Who's Crazy from Next to Normal.

Who's crazy?  
The husband or wife?  
Who's crazy?  
To live their whole life  
Believing that somehow  
Things aren't as bizarre as they are?

Who's crazy—  
The one who can't cope,   
Or maybe the one who'll still hope?  
The one who sees doctors  
Or the one who just waits in the car?

And I was  
A wild twenty-five,   
And I loved  
A wife so alive,   
But now I believe I would settle  
For one who can drive.

Emma opened the door to her with a wide smile but soon started teaching Louisa how to take her pills in a way very similar to Next to Normal's My Psycopharmacologist and I. The girl couldn't understand why she was doing that or even why they hadn't, at least, said 'hi' first.

Doctor Fine: [Spoken]  
The round blue ones with food, but not with the oblong  
White ones, the white ones with the round yellow ones  
But not the trapezoidal green ones. Split the green ones  
Into thirds with a tiny chisel, use a mortal and pestle to grind... 

Emma's words began to get lost for Louisa's consciousness and she began to sing Diana's part of the song.

Diana:  
My psychopharmacologist and I...   
It's like an odd romance—  
Intense and very intimate,   
We do our dance.  
My psychopharmacologist and I...   
Call it a lover's game—  
He knows my deepest secrets—  
I know his... name.

And though he will  
Never hold me,   
He'll always take my calls.  
It's truly like he told me:  
Without a little lift,   
The ballerina falls.

Doctor Fine: [Spoken]  
Goodman, Diana. Bipolar depressive with delusional episodes.  
Sixteen-year history of medication. Adjustments after one  
Week.

Diana: [Spoken]  
I've got less anxiety, but I have headaches, blurry vision,   
And I can't feel my toes.

Doctor Fine: [Spoken]  
So we'll try again, and eventually we'll get it right.

Diana: [Spoken]  
Not a very exact science, is it?

Out of nowhere, Louisa could hear Kurt, Blaine, Finn and Maggie singing the background for the song. She could see their faces; but she wasn't sure of where or how.

Voices:  
Zoloft and Paxil and Buspar and Xanax...   
Depakote, Klonopin, Ambien, Prozac...   
Ativan calms me when I see the bills—  
These are a few of my favorite pills.

Diana: [Spoken]  
Oh, thank, Doctor. Valium is my favorite color. How'd  
You know?

Doctor Fine: [Spoken]  
Goodman, Diana. Second adjustment after three weeks.  
Delusions less frequent but depressive state worse.

Diana: [Spoken]  
I'm nauseous and I'm constipated. Completely lost my  
Appetite and gained six pounds, which, you know, is  
Just not fair.

Diana, Doctor Fine & Voices:  
May cause the following  
Side effects, one or more:

Diana & Doctor Fine:  
Dizziness, drowsiness,   
Sexual dysfunction— Voices:  
Headaches and tremors Diarrhea, constipation  
And nightmares and Nervous laughter,   
Seizures— Palpitations—

Diana, Doctor Fine & Voices:  
Anxiousness, anger,   
Exhaustion, insomnia,   
Irritability,   
Nausea, vomiting—

Diana:  
Odd and alarming sexual feelings.

Diana, Doctor Fine & Voices:  
Oh, and one last thing—

Doctor Fine:  
Use may be fatal...

The strangest part was when Mr. Schuester, Emma's husband, appeared and took the center of the room singing Dan's part of the song. Emma kept being Louisa's psychiatrist and Louisa didn't stop to tell her symptoms she was having; even if she didn't remembered having those.

Dan:  
Use may be fatal... 

Doctor Fine: [Spoken]  
Goodman, Diana. Third adjustment after five weeks. Reports  
Continued mild anxiety and some lingering depression.

Diana: [Spoken]  
I now can't feel my fingers or my toes. I sweat profusely  
For no reason. Fortunately, I have absolutely no desire for  
Sex. Although whether that's the medicine or the marriage  
Is anybody's guess.

Doctor Fine: [Spoken]  
I'm sure it's the medicine.

Diana: [Spoken]  
Oh, thank you, that's very sweet. But my husband's waiting  
In the car.

Dan:  
Who's crazy?  
The one who's half-gone?  
Or maybe  
The one who holds on?  
Remembering when she was twenty,   
And brilliant and bold.  
And I was so young,   
And so dumb,   
And now I am old.

[Diana]:  
And she was [And though he'll never]  
Wicked and wired. [Hold me,]   
The sex was [He'll always take]  
Simply inspired. [My calls.]  
Now there's no sex, [It's truly like]  
She's depressed, [He told me—]  
And me I'm just tired. [Without a little lift]  
Tired. Tired. Tired. [The ballerina falls.]

Who's crazy— [My psychopharmacologist]  
The one who's uncured? [And I,]   
Or maybe  
The one who's endured? [Together side by side...]   
The one who has [Without him I'd die..].   
Treatments,   
Or the one who just [My psychopharmacologist]  
Lives with the pain? [And I.]

They say love is blind,   
But believe me—  
Love is insane.

Doctor Fine: [Spoken]  
Goodman, Diana. Seven weeks.

Diana: [Spoken]  
I don't feel like myself. I mean, I don't feel anything.

Suddenly, Emma's face was very clear to her and she said just one phrase:

Doctor Fine: [Spoken]  
Hmpf. Patient stable.

Louisa got up in her bed gasping for air. It had been a strange dream but that kind of went with the mood of the week. She got up from her bed and walked to her kitchen. She still wondered if she was mostly happy or scared to be back to her place. She filled a glass with water and took her SOS medication with it. She returned to the bed and stayed there staring at the ceiling and praying for restful sleep to come.

In her late hour's thoughts, she realized that dream-Emma had been right about one thing: "without a little lift, the ballerina falls".

xXxXx

Blaine was contagiously getting nervous by Louisa's anxiety in the dressing-room. She was pacing around and rubbing her hands. She had already said about fifteen times that she wasn't good enough for this and a twenty more that everybody should screw themselves. She had said they hadn't had enough time to rehearsal and that there was no point in rehearsing more anyway, since she sucked so much.

She huffed one last time and Blaine had it.

"Lou; would you stop; please? You're making me nervous as well. You don't suck; it's just your anxiety speaking. Don't listen to it!"

She sat down near him and tilted her head back; closing her eyes in defeat:

"What if I'm never good enough? What if it's all a sick prank and moving to New York was nothing but a waste of time?"

"Then you had moved here just to meet me and that's worth anything!"

Though she understood he was being ironic; he kind of accepted he deserved the pillow he received on his face. He laughed and she snorted exhausted. He took her hand and rubbed it gently:

"Being serious now; you're wonderful. You're beautiful inside and out and I'm very happy I can call you my friend. At first, I wanted to solve my issues with you because of all you represent to Kurt. But soon enough, I just wanted selfishly to have such a fantastic person in my life."

He helped her wipe out some tears she appeared to have being long fighting against. She bit her lips in an attempt to hold the rest of them:

"That's very sweet of you and I want you to know that now I reciprocate it. I got to know the real you and not just 'the guy who broke Kurt's heart'. I can honestly say that there's no one else for my cousin but you. I'm really proud that he said yes and you'll be getting married. But still, Blaine; that doesn't change the fact that I'm feeling like a fraud who should never enter that stage. People out that deserve better."

Blaine squeezed her hand a little tighter and looked deeply into her eyes:

"You're not a fraud. Brody was doing you no favor when he casted you as Natalie. Tonight is our night and we'll get there and show everyone what we are worth."

Louisa was usually very up to date with her confidence. However, when it got low, it really reached rock bottom. Blaine was beginning to understand it was partly because of her disease and he wished he knew what to do.

He got up in a sudden and offered her his hand. Puzzled, she took it and followed him to a classroom not far away from the auditorium. Blaine ordered her to sit down and went to the piano in there. He looked at her and smirked:

"Just listen, okay?"

She was obedient and sat there paying him her full attention. He had always been better with dealing with his issues trough song, so he knew quite a few of motivational songs that fit that kind of moments. He went with I Believe in You from Broadway's How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying. Louisa got more emotional by every new note he hit. He could tell how much she was moved by her face expression; so often showing the same reactions as Kurt's.

Now there you are, yes, there's that face  
That face that somehow I trust  
It may embarrass you to hear me say it  
But say it I must, say it I must

You have the cool clear eyes of a seeker  
Of wisdom and truth  
Yet there's that up turned chin  
And the grin of impetuous youth

Oh, I believe in you, I believe in you

I hear the sound of good solid judgment  
Whenever you talk  
Yet, there's the bold, brave spring of the tiger  
That quickens your walk

Oh, I believe in you, I believe in you

And when my faith in my fellow man  
All but falls apart  
I've but to feel your hand grasping mine  
And I take heart, I take heart

To see the cool clear eyes of a seeker  
Of wisdom and truth  
Yet with the slam, bang, tang

Reminiscent of gin and vermouth

Oh, I believe in you, oh, I believe in you

Oh, I believe in you  
I believe in you  
You  
You

She moved to sit by his side on the piano stool. He liked feeling her heath near him. He finished the song and was engulfed in a hug:

"I really love you, Bowtie."

"No need to lie to me just because I serenated you."

She broke the embrace to look into his eyes:

"I mean it! You saved my life, Blaine. Don't you ever think I'll forget that. And you're trying to make my life easier; to which I'm also thankful. I couldn't have done it without you guys. Without your help and support; I would have drowned in a pool of my sorrows."

Blaine couldn't prevent the cascade of tears falling from his eyes:

"That's what friends are for; silly."

xXxXx

Knowing that she had people who got her back was the best feeling in the world. Even though, she couldn't stop the several voices in her head reminding her that she was the worst human being on the planet and when she'd be done fooling herself.

She decided not to take her strong SOS medication before going on the stage because it sometimes got her drowsy and she couldn't risk it. Besides all the extra official rehearsal they were getting to finish everything for the musical in record time; she was also having "confidence rehearsals" with Kurt and Eleanor all week. Maggie and Blaine would also remind her, as many times as they could, how awesome she was as Natalie. The problem neither of them understood was that there was a part of her that Louisa had no control of and that kept reminding her that she was a loser. The closer to the opening day they got; the louder the voice became.

Things with Brody only made everything more complicated. She had taken his offer on being friends and was doing the best she could to keep up with it. The problem was that, whenever they engaged in a longer conversation; they'd hit a barrier she wasn't willing to cross with him. He was being very patient and loyal; but she still felt she wasn't ready. He kept saying he'd wait and she couldn't believe it. Ironically, the day she believed it; it would also be the day he'd no longer need to wait. It was all about trust and, if she had problems with it before, it had become impossible then.

Pacing around was no longer helping. Careful not to drag any more cast members to her frenzy; she decide to peek through the curtain to see Eleanor's reassuring face in the audience. She got to one of the stage's edge and pulled just enough curtain to see the audience without being seen. She saw Emma and her husband whispering to one another; which, after her weird dream, was comforting somehow. She saw Rachel and Finn next to them; they seemed excited about the play. And then she saw Eleanor. She was sitting there all dressed to the nines and wearing a proud-mama smile as she read the program. Louisa felt her heart swollen.

Feeling more confident; she decided to scan the rest of the audience to see how many people they had attracted. It was almost a full house and they still had a couple of minutes before they'd have to go on. More people were getting in and being handled their programs. A man entered with a familiar walk; but it couldn't be him, could it? Why on Earth would he be there?

She couldn't believe her father had found out about her debut. What was he thinking showing up? What the fuck was he doing there playing the careful loving father? Couldn't he see that being on a play such as that was incredibly difficult for her mostly because of him? Of course he couldn't...

Her head was dizzy and she saw everything circling around her. Her blood was boiling and she knew what it meant. With only one clear thought in head, she entered the stage and cleared her throat to catch everyone's attention:

"Good evening ladies and gentleman. My name is Louisa Hummel and I'm casted as Natalie Goodman in this production. I'm here to warn you that there'll be no performance tonight. You came to see a musical about how mental illness affects the life of a woman and all the people surrounding her. Well, I've been dealing with General Anxiety Disorders since I can remember and what you're about to see is how mental illness affects the real life of this woman and all the people surrounding me. I'm so sorry."

She could feel her strengths giving in as she had used them all to give that announcement. Without being able to give one more step; Louisa passed out on the stage.


	18. Aftershocks

It was Brody; Louisa was sure of it. But why was he dressed in his Gabe outfit? She recognized the song: it was Aftershocks from Next to Normal. Had they performed the play? She didn't remember being on the stage. Actually, she remembered very few things at that exact moment. Her mind was very foggy.

They've managed to get rid of me,  
Returned me to the grave  
Ect, electric chair, we shock who we can't save.  
They've cleared you of my memory and many more as well.  
You may have wanted some of them but who can ever tell?  
Your brainwaves are more regular, the chemistry more pure.  
The headaches and the nausea will pass and you'll endure.  
You son is gone forever though, of that the doctor's sure.  
The memories will wane,  
The aftershocks remain.  
You wonder which is worse, the symptom or the cure.

Brody's performance sounded almost like an accusation. Gabe's words of sorrow sounded like she, Louisa, had done something that offended him very much. Hang on... she did do something: she had called the performance out, hasn't she? So why were they on the stage? Was that a stage? And why there was nobody and nothing else than the two of them? All she could see was Brody's face singing angrily very close to her; brighten by a strong spotlight on it. She knew she was there; she knew he was there. But where were they?

They've managed to get rid of me, I'm gone without a trace,  
But sear the soul and leave scar no treatment can erase.  
They've cut away the cancer but forgot to fill the hole.  
They removed me from your memory, I'm still there in your soul.  
Your life goes back to normal now, or so they all believe.  
Your heart is in your chest again, not hanging from your sleeve.  
They've driven out the demons and they've earned you this reprieve.  
The memories are gone.  
The aftershocks live on.  
But with nothing to remember,  
Is there nothing left to grieve?

Louisa woke up panting and her eyes needed a few seconds to adjust. She looked around not recognizing the room she was in or the bed she was laying on. On a second scanning, she turned her head just a bit more and saw Kurt sleeping very uncomfortably on a chair. It wasn't long after she started moving that he woke up in a jump and walked closer to her smiling:

"Good morning, boo; how are you feeling?"

"I'm... fine? I mean; I don't feel anything strange but I'm very confused."

He smiled sympathetically and reached for her hand:

"Well, the doctors said you'd be. What's the last thing you remember?"

"Doctors?"

Kurt stroked her hand kindly:

"We're in a hospital, sweetie. I'll explain everything to you later; but now it's very important that you try to remember. What's the last thing you have a memory of?"

She tried to focus and found out that her head was starting to ache.

"I remember being backstage for the show. Then something happened I can't recall and I'm getting a headache."

Kurt sighed worried but tried to hide it.

"What's wrong, Kurt? Why are we here?"

"Sweetie, Doctor Young told me that the most important thing now is to try to have you as calm as possible..."

She interrupted him starting to be very upset to been treated like a child:

"Kurt Hummel; why on Earth did you call my shrink for? You know the only way to keep me calm is stop hiding the truth from me; right?"

Kurt didn't try to hide his exasperated sigh this time:

"Listen to me, sweetie, and try to be calm. You kind of passed out last night..."

"I'm beginning to remember it... There was the curtain and I was very nervous... I was with Blaine backstage but then I went alone to check something. What was it?"

He stroked her hand as a last attempt to calm her down:

"Doctor Young said that clearly your new medication isn't working and she already gave me a prescription to try another one. A new one. You know better than I do how this kind of treatment works."

"Yes, Kurt; I know how my psycho treatment works. I know you're changing the subject. What I don't know is exactly the thing you are trying to hide from me. Come on; spill it out!"

"Goodness; when our stubbornness is directed at me it's really annoying! Fine! You had a nervous breakdown last night and passed out on the stage. Blaine called an ambulance and I called Doctor Young on our way here. You're stable but they wanted to keep you under surveillance for a bit more because of... well, recent events. Doctor Young was here last night and she said that, other than that change of medication, you're very well and must be out of here soon. This time you can even go straight home with Maggie; although I'd rather be with you for a couple of nights."

She looked at him still a little suspicious:

"That's all very kind of you and I'll take it as good news. I'm feeling well; you don't need to leave Blaine alone to be my nanny. But what's still bugging me is why I passed out last night."

"Blaine wants only the best for you too. I'm sure he wouldn't mind..."

She never let him finish that sentence:

"Kurt! Stop trying to avoid the subject. For crying out loud; you're not my..."

She stopped midway and began to stare blankly at the wall. Kurt got frightened and began to shake her. Finally, she blinked a few times and met his gaze speaking strangely calm, almost like in a trance:

"My father is here; isn't he? I saw him last night at the theater. It was what startled me; wasn't it?"

Kurt was uncomfortably fidgeting. She frowned at him:

"You know I won't rest until I know it all."

He took a deep breath and looked at her:

"He wanted to be the one riding the ambulance with you. I fought him for it and he said he'll be in town until you're out and about. Blaine convinced him not to come here and to wait for you to say you're ready to talk to him..."

They stood in silence watching each other. Kurt tried a half-smile and she nodded. He tentatively walked closer and touched her shoulder:

"Lou?"

"I'll... I'll try to sleep some more; my headache is getting worse."

He nodded and helped adjust the sheets over her:

"I'll be here if you need me."

She was feeling very drowsy; probably from the heavy medication she was under. More unconscious than not; she mumbled before falling completely asleep:

"Remember me to thank Bowtie..."

xXxXx

Rachel squeezed Finn's fingers intertwined with hers tighter this time:

"How are you feeling?"

He chuckled:

"Since when do you care about Louisa?"

Rachel shrugged:

"I care about you and you decided to care about every fit she throws."

"You know it's not a fit..."

She waved it off as nonsense:

"Potato; potahto. Anyway, are you sure you're okay to do it?"

Finn sighed but nodded. Rachel grinned at him and kissed his cheek:

"When did you become such a grown man?"

"I'm growing fonder of Brody; I'm beginning to understand his struggles."

They were getting closer to NYADA's main building and saw Brody gazing outside a window. They approached slowly and Rachel touched his shoulder, making him jump.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scary you."

"It's alright. How are you two?"

Finn sat by his side; offering a sympathetic smile:

"We're fine, dude. How about you?"

He wouldn't look at Finn while answering:

"I've been better; but it's not about me I worry about. Blaine convinced me not to go to the hospital nor call. He even promised to tell me if they had any news. He sent a text last night saying she was stable. Stable doesn't begin to cover my concern for her... She said herself that we could be friends; why are they trying to keep me in the dark?"

Finn grabbed his shoulder:

"You really got it going for my cousin; haven't you?"

Brody snorted:

"Sorry if it bothers you."

"It did; not so much anymore. But let me take you out of your misery; Kurt just called saying her doctor would probably send her home tonight. It's not 100% sure yet, that's why Blaine hasn't called you; but Louisa seems to be fine now."

Rachel was proud of how they could be civilized and even friendly around each other. She thought Finn wouldn't be jealous if she tried to comfort Brody. She sat by his side and passed her arm around him:

"Now you know Louisa is safe and sound; would you care to talk about your situation? You don't need to put a brave face for me."

He chuckled but not so amused:

"I promise you I'm not trying to put a brave face here. It's really just that, with Louisa needing assistance; I couldn't care less about me right now."

Surprisingly, Finn was the one retorting him:

"It's your graduation, dude. It is a big deal. It's understandable that you're worried; but she's in good hands right now."

"Finn's right, Brody. There are other people taking care of Louisa now and only you can run after the things you need to settle to graduate."

Finn opened one of his big-brother smiles:

"Besides, she'd feel awful knowing she harmed you in any way."

Brody replied him with a smile that soon faded into another sigh:

"I'll try... for her."

xXxXx

Blaine checked for the hundredth time if everything was in its right place. Nothing had exactly changed since one second ago; but he didn't know anything better to do. He checked once more just to be sure that Satine hadn't ruined anything that wasn't hers; but the puppy was still chewing her own toy and not even looking at Louisa's stuff.

He found it extremely sweet of Maggie to have lent her bedroom so he and Kurt could be there for Louisa on her first night back. She had even said that Satine would be more than welcomed. However, waiting per se was already nerve racking. Doing so in someone else's place while making sure your unreliable dog won't chew anything; is even worse. To his relief, he heard the sound of a key being inserted into the door that was soon followed by the image of Kurt and Louisa entering home.

Satine was immediately on a run towards her arriving master who bent down to greet her:

"Satine, my loved one; I've missed you!"

Blaine took his hands to his waist outraged:

"So that's how you greet your loving fiancé? By going for the dog first!"

Louisa took the puppy from Kurt's arms while smiling to Blaine:

"I'm the one coming out of the hospital; I'm the one who deserves the puppy. Besides, you have another helpless creature to take care of, Kurt."

While Kurt went to kiss the pout out of Blaine; Louisa sat on the couch still playing with the dog. They were soon joined by the boys; who managed to snuggle absurdly close, even for the girl's tiny couch. Blaine caught her looking and smiled:

"So, tell me, Lou: how are you feeling?"

"Tired; I must admit. But mostly annoyed by having my apartment invaded by a hobbit and his loyal flurry fury."

Before Blaine could tease back, Kurt soothingly placed his hand on his boyfriend's thigh and answered the girl:

"I forgot to tell you; Maggie was a lamb and lent her bedroom for me and my family for the next couple of days."

Louisa rolled her eyes. Blaine chuckled:

"You can have Satine sleep on your bed and I have a pizza on its way from your favorite restaurant; the one everyone else finds yucky."

Kurt was about to elbow him on the ribs, but Louisa stopped him:

"Don't blame Gel Helmet this time: I accept the dog offer and I like when people get real with me. Apparently you were the one I needed to see from the beginning, Blaine. Give me all the dirty."

Blaine got caught between Kurt's eyes pleading him to be quiet and Louisa's anxious ones encouraging him to go on. He sighed and decided to pity the girl this time:

"You'd find out eventually anyway; Brody really won't be graduating."

Louisa got up in a jump and knocked Satine to the ground:

"What?"

Kurt was fuming him with his eyes and Blaine was more lost than before:

"You didn't know about that possibility?"

Louisa didn't look at them nor stopped pacing while she answered:

"No! How did this happen? Was it my fault?"

Blaine, feeling horribly, tried to apologize while attempting to calm the girl down:

"I thought he told you that he needed to present the play he directed to get his diploma. Yesterday, he asked Carmen Tibidaux how his situation would turn out and she replied him that it remained to be seen. When I called him today to tell you'd be coming home; he said he had the answer that there was nothing that could be done until he showed a play."

The girl kept pacing around while repeating it was all her fault. She was more agitated within the second and Blaine dreaded what could come of it. Kurt got up from the couch and held her close to his body to stop the anxiety process:

"Boo, think of nothing else and concentrate on my voice. It's not your fault: Brody didn't want to find you an understudy and that's why they are punishing him."

Tears started running down from her eyes; yet she seemed calmer. Blaine approached them and started rubbing her back:

"Brody isn't worried about that. He was devastated that his play had caused you some sort of harm. He really cares about you and I'm sure he'll find a way out of it. I'm sorry to break the news for you like that; I thought that was what you were talking about."

The girl just nodded and Kurt's voice came with the explanation:

"She's sure I'm hiding something from her about Uncle Andy."

Blaine raised his eyebrow understandingly and turned to Louisa again:

"About that, all I have to tell you is that he tried to go with you on the ambulance; but after we talked to him, he gave me a piece of paper with his contact information to give to you and said he'd be waiting for you to call."

"You can tell him to shove that piece of paper..."

"Boo, he's your father! You know that eventually you'll have to solve things up with him. Now he's trying to be there for you and maybe..."

The doorbell rang interrupting Kurt's peptalk. Blaine, who really didn't want to be around such touchy subject, ran to answer it and get the pizza.

Dinner was unusually quiet filled with meaningful exchanged glances. Blaine was really uncomfortable with the situation; he tried to start small talk:

"What about a movie after dinner?"

Kurt barely looked at him and Louisa made a disgruntled noise. He swallowed another bite and tried again:

"You have a huge DVD library Lou; why don't choose something appropriate?"

She snorted:

"Appropriare for the psycho?"

Kurt went to defend Blaine:

"It's not what he meant!"

"It's what you two are thinking!"

"How can you know what we're thinking?"

Blaine shushed the two of them. The silence between the two cousins were better than their full battle mode. He eventually gave up on trying to conciliate things and concentrated on eating his slice of the dreadful Louisa's-favorite pizza. To his surprise, Kurt was the one breaking the silence:

"Louisa, you couldn't sink lower when it comes to choosing the pizza place."

To his bigger surprise, Louisa's reaction was to laugh out loud. Being drawn completely away from understanding, Blaine just watched as the couple of cousins got up from their places and went to hug each other.

"Boo, you are my favorite thick-head."

"And I know you have the best intentions in mind when you step over me when I'm out of my mind, pumpkin."

Blaine hid his head in his hand:

"What am I marrying into?"

Kurt pointed a menacing finger his way:

"Watch it; pretty boy. There's no turning back after putting a ring on it."

Blaine smirked:

"I wouldn't dare pissing off a Hummel..."

Louisa sat back down speaking mostly to herself than to them:

"What a family are the Hummels."

Blaine tapped her shoulder:

"I can say a much better and loving one than mine."

Kurt smiled sympathetically to him before taking his cousin's hand in his:

"We can be a mess but we're always there to support each other. Including your father..."

She looked too tired to fight and she sounded simply sad:

"Why is he only now trying to reach for me? Can't he see it's all wrong? I mean; he's the one who helped cause most of my struggles and he shows up just to trigger me on my most fragile moments."

Kurt sighed:

"He doesn't know any of that. He doesn't know you at all. He's trying to. I'll admit he's trying in the most crooked way; but he doesn't know any better."

Blaine entered the conversation with a feeble voice that was the result of battling the ghosts from his own past:

"He doesn't appear in your most fragile moments; you become fragile because he's there."

She looked from one to the other with her eyes moist:

"And what can I do?"

Kurt smiled:

"Sing about it."

"I don't feel like singing."

Kurt rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb:

"Would you let me do it?"

He didn't wait for an answer and walked to her sound system, putting in Lion King – The Musical's soundtrack in it. He selected He Lives in You and began to sing alongside with Rafiki. Both Louisa and Blaine stood astounded watching him perform. Blaine felt Lou's head resting on his shoulder and smiled.

Night and the spirit of life calling  
Oh, oh, iyo mamela oh, oh, iyo  
And the voice with the fear of a child answers  
Oh, oh, iyo iyo mamela

Wait! There's no mountain too great  
Hear these words and have faith  
Oh, oh, iyo  
Have faith

He lives in you, he lives in me   
He watches over everything we see  
Into the waters, into the truth  
In your reflection, he lives in you

When Kurt was finished, the girl walked toward him and engulfed him in a big hug.

"What would I do without my wise Rafiki?"

Kurt smirked in his best diva fashion:

"Throw the world's biggest pity-party instead of the marvelous kiki you've got with me."

xXxXx

Brody could hardly believe his eyes. He wanted it for so long that got him paralyzed and she was clearly embarrassed. Nevertheless, Brody had opened his room's door to Louisa and they both stayed there staring at each other. She smiled awkwardly and said in a smooth voice:

"Can I come in?"

"Oh... Yes! Yes; off course. Be my guest."

She walked in coyly and she kept looking at him for guidance. He was also a bit uncomfortable and not so sure of what to do with his hands. He signaled her to sit on the bed; which she did reluctantly. He sat too, rather fast, and had to control himself not to grab her hand like he desperately wanted to. She smiled and begun to talk:

"I've heard you're not graduating because of me..."

"I don't know who told this to you, but it's a lie!"

She stared confused at him:

"You are graduating, then?"

He sighed:

"Not right now. They said I can present a monologue by the end of the term and all can be sat. I'll graduate with less credits or something, but that's okay. Anyway, not the point...What I meant is that it's not your fault."

She nodded understandingly but kept looking down. He stayed watching her until she finally caught him and chuckled feebly:

"You like taking big risks; doesn't you? You even broke the taboo of casting freshmen... Maybe the curse is true..."

He smirked:

"And you believe that... right..."

She looked at him seeming a little more determined:

"No; but I felt bad even so and thought I should come talk to you."

"Louisa; please don't feel bad on my account. All that's in my mind the last couple of days has to do with you."

"You should have found me an understudy."

She still couldn't see what it was all about or was she really blind to his feelings?

"Lou... can't you see how special you are? How special you are to me?"

He was intensely staring at her with eager eyes. She blushed and turned her head away to prevent him from seeing the tear she was whipping away, which he saw anyway. He exhaled and found the courage to touch her face and turn it to him:

"Please; let me be a part of your life. Why don't you let me at least try to help you?"

"I'm the one begging you, Brody; please don't go there again. I think I'm in the frailest stage I've ever been..."

He interrupted her and cupped her face with his other hand too:

"I'm not asking you to be strong and put together. Because, honestly, who is? All I'm asking you is another chance to be us now that I know you fully."

He couldn't control himself any longer and glued his lips against hers. He, however, didn't felt hers kissing him back. He slowly pulled away and whispered:

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

She got up and patted his shoulder before walking towards the door. He wouldn't cry; he couldn't cry. To fight his tears, he did the only thing he knew might keep his feelings under control: he sang. He started to ditty Next to Normal's A Light in the Dark. He could empathize with that husband singing to his sick wife to try again. He knew he loved Louisa at that moment and he simply couldn't watch her walk away carrying that reckless kiss as the last memory of them.

She stopped to listen as soon as he begun. She paused near the door with her eyes closed and her head lowered.

One light shines in the drive  
One single sign  
That our house is alive.  
Our house, our own  
So why do I  
Live there alone?

Tell me why I  
Wait through the night,  
And why do I  
Leave on the light?  
You know—I know,  
Our house was  
A home long ago.  
Take this chance,  
'Cause it may be our last  
To be free,  
To let go of the past,  
And to try,  
To be husband and wife,  
To let love never die  
Or to just live our life.

Take my hand,  
And let me take you heart,  
Keep it far  
From what keeps us apart  
Let us start  
With a light in the dark.

By the time Diana had lines in the song; she sang too and he could see the tears spotting her face.

Dan: (Diana:)  
Night falls,   
I stare at the walls. (I stare at these walls...)  
I wake and wander  
The halls (I get lost in these halls...)  
And I ache to the bone...  
(It's like nothing I've known...)  
Dan & Diana:  
I can't get through this alone.

Dan:  
Take this chance,  
And we'll make a new start  
Somewhere far  
From what keeps us apart,  
And I swear that somewhere  
In the night  
There's a light  
A light in the dark.

He finished but didn't have the courage to look at her. He heard her though:

"I'm sorry, Brody. It's not enough."

The last thing he heard was the sound of the door closing behind her.

xXxXx

With everything going on in her life; getting to know the rest of the cast of Spring Awakening felt to second plan in Rachel's life. It was even worse considering the rest of the ensemble have been working together for years. Making friends has never been her forte; however, it would be necessary more than a group of mean girls to turn Rachel away from her Broadway goal.

She took a deep breath and opened the doors to the rehearsal room. As the routine they've established; the other girls started giggling between themselves as soon as they saw it was her. Rachel put on a polite smile and went to get ready in a corner of the room, facing the wall.

She placed her bag and started taking out her dance material. It wasn't as if she had never felt like the new girl or the girl no one liked. She knew that becoming a star would mean standing alone for most of the time. She picked her cellphone to turn out the sound and saw Finn smiling at her from the screensaver. She smiled in spite of the situation: she definitively wasn't alone.

Before putting the phone back down; she saw there was a group message from Blaine. He was just guaranteeing that Louisa had spent the last days well and safe. She frowned: why everyone obsessed with Louisa so much?

She was withdrawn from her thoughts by the beginning of rehearsal and a new hard choreography to learn. Rachel was working hard; yet somehow, Louisa kept showing up in her thoughts until it was like the other girl was there with her. In the end, they were learning the steps together and Louisa was even helping her with some moves she was struggling with. Maybe the latin girl wasn't that bad after all...

xXxXx

Going back to work was like a new breath of air for Louisa. She already had her dose of hospitals, staying home and feeling sorry for herself. She liked being among books, friends and the quiet shoppers of bookshops. Eleanor had welcomed her back with a huge grin and kept spoiling her with fresh brewed tea and friendly compliments all afternoon. It had been a quiet day and she was ready to put the 'closed' signed on the door and go wait for Maggie in the coffee shop.

She was walking with the sign to the door when a group of people caught her attention. At first she smiled seen Kurt and Blaine crossing the street; but soon her smile was replaced by a face of absolute terror when she saw who was with them. How dared they bring her father there when they swore she could choose if and when to call him? Disgusted, she turned back and walked to the interior of the shop. However, she hadn't been able to reach the staff room when Kurt's voice reached her ears:

"Hi boo!"

She didn't turn and took several deep breaths trying to calm down. Blaine was the one calling this time:

"Come on, Lou; it's us."

A deeper and sadder voice reached her this time:

"No, boys; it's me."

Unable to control herself anymore; she turned and saw that Andrew didn't wore the same relaxed complexion he had on Thanksgiving. She tried to smile but her muscles didn't want to respond:

"Hello, boys. Good Afternoon, Andrew."

Her reaction caught him by surprised and he gave a little chuckle:

"I came to say goodbye. I've heard you're out of danger and, since you don't want to talk to me anyway, I better go back to work."

He nodded and was moving out when she felt her blood beginning to boil and the words escape her lips before she could prevent it:

"Why you never come to say hello?"

Blaine looked awkwardly between them and begun to drive Kurt up to the mezzanine and telling her they'd wait there. Andrew watched the boys' entire way up the stairs before turning to her again:

"So here is where you work?"

"Are you going to pass judgment about here too?"

"No... no. I'm in town just to... as you put it 'try to say hello'. Better late than never, right?"

She shrugged:

"It's what they say..."

"But what do you say, Louisa? I came here to try to listen to your voice..."

She sighed defeated and he tentatively took a step closer.

"You see, I've learned that weekend at your Granny's that you were attending NYADA and ever since I've been following the university's blog to see if I could understand you a little better. You can't imagine how happy I was to learn you were casted on a play. I went after if; I've even bought the script."

She gave him a more-sarcastic-than-polite half-smile:

"It's a great play."

"Yes! Yes, Louisa; yes. It's an excellent play; a very difficult one too; may I add. I understand a thing or two about theater. I guess I never told you, but I was Jean Valjean in a High School production. But I didn't come here to talk about me. I've came to talk about you; about how brave you are to have accepted a part like that."

She rolled her eyes and he took a deep breath trying to calm down:

"I know I hardly know you. I know I've been absent for several years; but I never gave up on you. I never forgot you and I never will. I wanted to be here for you when you walked up that stage. Now I realize it was foolish of me..."

He looked at her waiting for a reaction that never came. He chuckled a little embarrassed:

"Well... I guess I'm always taking the wrong ways towards you. I wanted to hear you sing. Especially Maybe...You see; I bought Next to Normal's soundtrack too and that's my favorite song."

Louisa kept staring at him not sure of how she felt at that moment. Blaine, being the show-off kiss-ass he was, sat on the upstairs piano and begun to play Maybe on it. Andrew laughed at first; waving it off as silly. However, his face turned serious as he begun to sing Diana's part.

Diana:  
Maybe I've lost it at last  
Maybe my last lucid moment has passed  
I'm dancing with death, I suppose  
But really, who knows?

Could be I'm crazy to go  
They say you should stay with the devil you know  
But when life needs a change and the one devil won't  
You fly to the devil you don't

Maybe I'm tired of the game  
Of coming up short of the rules, of the shame  
And maybe you feel that way too  
I see me in you

A girl full of anger and hope  
A girl with a mother who just couldn't cope  
A girl who felt caught and thought no one could see  
That maybe one day she'll be free

Louisa chuckled completely sarcastically this time. He kept singing. Taking advantage of the well-rehearsed and perfectly fitted lyrics of the song; she started singing back Natalie's part to him. The trick thing about that musical is how realistic it is: their song was transforming into a confession and they could talk, or sing, about their true feelings for the first time in years.

Natalie:  
It's so lovely that you're sharing  
No, really, I'm all ears  
But where has all this caring been for sixteen years?  
For all those years I'd prayed that you'd go away for good  
Half the time afraid that you really would  
When I thought you might be dying  
I cried for all we've never be  
But there'll be no more crying  
Not for me

Diana (Natalie):  
Things will get better you'll see (Not for me)  
You'll see (Not for me)  
You'll see (Not for me)  
You'll see (Not for me)  
You'll see...

Maybe we can't be okay  
But maybe we're tough and we'll try anyway  
We'll live with what's real  
Let go of what's past  
And maybe I'll see you at last

We tried to give you a normal life. I realize now, I have no clue what that is.

Natalie:  
I don't need a life that's normal, that's way too far away   
But something next to normal would be okay  
Yeah, something next to normal, that's the thing I'd like to try  
Close enough to normal to get by

Diana:  
We'll get by

Natalie:  
We'll get by

As the tears flooded her face by the end of their song; Louisa walked towards her father and gave him a hug. Andrew begun to ugly cry on her arms:

"Oh, Lou; does this means I'm forgiven?"

She broke the embrace and cleared her own face:

"This means you've took the first step of the right lane."

He grinned:

"Will I be hearing from you soon?"

She smirked:

"Maybe..."

He chuckled amused this time and waved her goodbye.

xXxXx

Finn had been shocked at first when Rachel was the one inviting him to join Kurt and Blaine in a night at Callbacks to cheer Louisa up. However, he got completely action less when his girlfriend walked in the bar and engulfed the Brazilian into a friendly hug. Apparently, the others were as astonished as him by Rachel's reaction. She broke the embrace and took Louisa's hand:

"I know that's not that clear to read from me, but I'm truly glad that you're okay."

"Thanks, Rachel... I guess..."

Kurt grabbed both of the girls and dragged them to their seats:

"Come on, Rach; Lou isn't familiar yet with your diva's change of mood."

Finn sat down with the feeling he had just entered a madhouse. A cool madhouse though. That was probably why he felt so at ease when Brody approached their table.

"Excuse me; I don't want to interrupt the family bonding time. It's just that I'm here with a group of friends and it wouldn't be polite not to stop by and say hello. I'll go back to my friends now. Good night everyone."

Kurt pursed his lips surprised:

"Brody is really changed..."

However, the strangeness of Brody's gentleman ways were completely over shadowed by Rachel asking Louisa to follow her to the girl's room because they needed to talk. The three boys on the table watched them crossing the whole room together and the silence between them remained until they saw the two of them walking out again.

Rachel drove Louisa closer to the stage and went to talk to the guy in charge of the karaoke. She whispered something to the man that nodded approvingly. Louisa stood where she was while Rachel skipped back towards them and sat by Finn's side, stealing a peck from him. He turned to her confused:

"What was all that about?"

She smirked sassy:

"I was just helping my friend and you cousin. Watch."

He turned to the stage where Louisa was being announced.

"Hello again, Callbacks. My name is Louisa Hummel and it's my pleasure to sing for you. The song I chose is from the Broadway musical First Date and it's called Safer. I hope you like it"

Louisa began to sing the soft melody and Rachel almost squeaked by his side. His girlfriend kept staring between the girl on the stage and the boy in a few tables away with his group of friends.

I know that I have issues  
I face them, I swear.  
Think I overcome them  
Then turn - they're still there.

Wish that I was different  
I'd like to let go.  
But when I try to change  
There's my past, saying no.

Maybe it's all 'cause of dad,  
His new kids, his new wife  
Or why not just blame mom  
Who's been nuts my whole life...

When you've felt so alone since  
The moment of brith   
And you're struggled to find   
Your own true sense of worth

When it seems there is no one  
Across this whole earth  
To depend upon, you carry on  
Just like you always do

'Cause it's safer to rely on you.  
Oh, it's safer to rely on you.

Brody seemed mesmerized by the performance; he was drinking Louisa's every word. Lou, on the other hand, stared a lot in Brody's direction and it became obvious, even for Finn, that she was singing to him.

Seen a million movies  
All selling true love.  
Fantasies I'm not sure  
That I'm worthy of.

Caution to the wind  
My heart's been on display.  
Still the end result is  
It's not gone my way.

So when I date some new guy  
Who's a deadbeat or jerk  
At least I'm not so crushed  
When it all doesn't work...

When you once, unafraid,  
Wore your heart on your sleeve  
And the ones that you loved  
Chose to just turn and leave

Every day it gets harder to  
Somehow believe  
You will survive, so you strive  
Just to keep up your guard

'Cause it's safer to hold every card.  
Oh, it's safer to hold every card.

I feel out of control  
I feel safe on the ground.  
I go building up walls  
Yet I wish to be found.

A true contradiction to which I am bound  
As I keep on spinning around and around...

And I look at the people  
Who've worked it all out  
And I wonder why I'm still  
A bundle of doubt and sometimes  
I wanna just stand up and shout...

"Just commit and deal with it  
Before your life flies by...  
Don't let your life fly by ..."

But is it safer?  
Maybe it's safer  
If I don't try

If no one is safe from their own feelings; it looked like Louisa was learning to deal with hers.


	19. New York Can't Hold Us

"Oh, no! No, no, no, no! Satine!"

Kurt crouched on the floor and picked up the object that had become a strip of ruined cotton. Meanwhile, the puppy approached him with a coy attitude. It didn't matter; he was in rage:

"Do you know what you have done? This was a legitimate Marc Jacobs' scarf; those things cost a fortune! And worse: it was a gift from Blaine. He gave it to me to celebrate our anniversary. It was so cute and thoughtful, because he said the color matched my eyes. And look at it now; it's ruined!"

As Kurt screamed with the dog, he shook the object in his hands to make his point. Satine grew more and more excited from the movement; waiting for the moment her master would start to play catch with her new toy. Once Kurt realized the dog's intentions, he got up in a sudden hiding his ruined scarf behind him:

"Oh, no, no, no. I know it's ruined but you can't have this. I won't be teaching you that it's okay to ruin my scarves so you can have them as your chewing toys later. No matter what your daddy Blaine has taught you; there were conditions for you to stay in this house and you've just committed a major crime. I just wonder how you got this out of my closet..."

With his mind racing with thoughts of what to do with the dog; Kurt walked to the dumpster, sighed and threw the ruined object away. He found his phone and pressed to call Blaine, having a glimpse of Blaine's smile on the picture before placing the apparel on his ear. Blaine picked up on the second ring; but not before Kurt caught Satine's puppy dog eyes staring at him.

"Kurt?"

"Hi... Blaine."

"Hi? You sound weird... Is there something wrong?"

Kurt looked at the dog's eyes once more, those hazel eyes that shone just like Blaine's. He snorted and answered his fiancé:

"Nothing. I mean... we ran out of cheesecake and I wondered if you could fetch us some on your way home."

He heard Blaine's ringing laughter through the phone:

"If your obsession with cheesecake wasn't so cute; I'd start to worry it's becoming unhealthy. I'm almost home; your cheesecake will be with you soon enough."

"You're adorable. Thanks, Blee."

Kurt hung up the phone and lowered himself to be at Satine's eye-level:

"Your luck is that you're too much like your father. It will be our little secret, okay? Daddy Blaine can never know about it."

Kurt's mind began to turn into thoughts of how to replace the scarf as not to raise suspicion.

xXxXx

Cassandra July's classes were neither pleasant nor informative. Well, not for someone who has been in dance classes since he was a toddler. At least, Blaine had Louisa to help him cope with it. However, the girl hadn't showed up yet and he was alone to face his terror and boredom.

He was practicing his already prefect pliés while thinking how a teacher could cause fear and yet make him so bored during the whole class. Cassandra was particularly evil with her comments that day and he still felt like the pointers of the clock on the wall had been glued. He was half-hearing she calling a girl names just because said girl couldn't complete an exercise due to a bad knee, when the door opened in a blast and he saw one of the most unbelievable sights his eyes would ever see.

Louisa had walked in the class completely dressed as Carmen Miranda and followed by a small band dressed in colorful shirts. Lou positioned herself in the middle of the dance studio and waited for her band to position themselves while setting her arms in the famous Brazilian singer's trademark. She gave the band a nod and they began to play Yes, Nós Temos Bananas.

Yes, nós temos bananas [Yes, we have bananas]  
Bananas pra dar e vender [Bananas to sell and to give]  
Banana menina tem vitamina [Banana, girl, has vitamins]  
Banana engorda e faz crescer [Banana fattens and makes you grow]

Vai para a França o café, pois é [Coffee goes to France, oh yeah]  
Para o Japão o algodão, pois não [Cotton goes to Japan, as you wish]  
Pro mundo inteiro, homem ou mulher [To the whole world, man or woman]  
Bananas para quem quiser [Bananas to whoever wishes it]

Louisa sang and impersonated the famous singer with all her notorious dance moves. The rest of the class was trying not to laugh; but Blaine was too concerned about Lou's punishment to even giggle. Hadn't she just been released of her first punishment? Why force her luck?

Yes, nós temos bananas [Yes, we have bananas]  
Bananas pra dar e vender [Bananas to sell or to give]  
Banana menina tem vitamina [Banana, girl, has vitamins]  
Banana engorda e faz crescer [Bananas fattens and makes you grow]

Mate para o Paraguai, não vai [Yerba Mate won't go to Paraguay]  
Ouro do bolso da gente não sai [Gold won't leave our pockets]  
Somos da crise, se ela vier [We're from the crisis, if it ever comes]  
Bananas para quem quiser [Bananas to whoever wishes it]

Cassandra was fuming and her humor did not improve when the girl took a banana out of her fruit basket and handed it to the teacher as the finale to her number. She threw the fruit away and pointed a finger to Louisa:

"Explain yourself."

Louisa smirked:

"This is just because I've been feeling unchallenged by your class. Your manners are rude and your lessons have become unimaginative, repetitive and simply dull. I thought I could enrich your class with a little diversity and I brought something from my country to illustrate."

"Enrich? My class?"

Before she could say another word; Louisa had already turned on her heels and stormed out of the class. Cassandra dismissed the class and went the other way, massaging her temples. Blaine wasted no time and went running the same way as Louisa. Unlike the other time, Louisa had not hidden this time and was laughing. He approached her and turned her, grabbing her arm rather unceremoniously:

"Are you nuts?"

She chuckled:

"No. I mean, yes, but not about this. Banana?"

He pushed away the hand she had stretched offering a fruit from her hat. He began to pace around trying to vent off his frustration. She approached him with a serious expression:

"Blaine? Relax, okay? You and Kurt won't suffer any consequence from this; I promise."

"Consequences? Can't you see I'm worried about you? Cassandra never liked you and ... Why did you do that?"

Louisa looked taken aback, but then she grinned:

"Because I'm feeling hyper! I've been feeling like this all week and decided I wouldn't put up with Cassandra's crap anymore."

"Aren't you worried about how she can punish you?"

"I'm not afraid of her, Blaine. I don't care what happens to me anymore. I'm feeling good. I think it's a step forward in my treatment. All I care about is making the ones I love happy. Wasn't it funny?"

Blaine allowed himself to laugh a little at the situation:

"It was a wonderful number. And it's a very elaborate costume; Hummel worthy. Kurt would be proud."

Louisa smiled. Blaine pulled her for a hug. She welcomed his arms and he smiled at the easiness with which it had come. However, he couldn't stop worrying that Louisa's hyperness could mean trouble.

xXxXx

"And here comes the White Swan."

The other girls from the Spring Awakening rehearsal broke into a fit of giggles with their Queen Bee's joke. Rachel turned around trying to keep her poker face:

"Excuse-me?"

The obnoxious girl opened a smirk:

"Oh, I think you heard me. You see, me and my girls here can't help but wonder how such a puritan was casted in a play about sexual awakening..."

So that was why they had been ignoring Rachel? Honestly, she had been through worse:

"I don't need your approval. The director liked my work."

"Your work? Or for him you did open your legs?"

The other girls started laughing and Rachel could feel her rage growing inside her:

"Some have talent and some are sluts; feel free to place yourself..."

The Queen Bee came towards her with a furious look:

"Do you think you are better than us, right? You think that because you overcame all the obstacles to come from Smalltown, Nowhere to New York you're the next hot thing, don't you? But let me explain something to you: you're boring and too naïve for New York. You'll never make it on Broadway and you'll be forever the sex-less wannabe."

"You may think I'm unattractive; I don't care. I got one thing that can make a difference and that you'll never have: talent."

She knew what she had to do, only what she did best. Rachel walked over to the sound system and put on Show Me How You Burlesque from the musical Burlesque. Rachel might not be the prototypical "hot girl" and maybe not even the best dancer. Nevertheless, one thing she could do was holding an audience with her voice and attracting attention with her talent. Everyone has a special way of seducing and it wasn't because Rachel's was less obvious that it was worse than anyone else's.

Underneath the city lights  
There is a world few know about  
Where rules don't apply, no  
And you can't keep a good girl down

She goin' through the club looking for a good time  
Gonna make that, shake that money on a dime  
Don't need a sugar daddy, she can work it just fine  
Up on the table, she'll be dancing all night

Yeah, baby doll just comes alive  
Under the spotlight, all the girls wanna fall in line  
We say, hey, here come the ladies 'bout to give a little show  
Hey, here come the boys, we gonna show a little more

Hit it up, get it up, won't let you rest  
Hit it up, get it up, this is not a test  
Hit it up, get it up, gotta give me your best  
So get your ass up, show me how you Burlesque

Hit it up, get it up, won't let you rest  
Hit it up, get it up, this is not a test  
Hit it up, get it up, gotta give me your best  
So get your ass up, show me how you Burlesque

A little bit of naughty is a little bit nice  
She's a whole lot of glam, sweat, sugar, sex, spice  
Just shimmy, shimmy, strut, strut, give a little what, what  
Up on the tables, we'll be dancing all night

Yeah, everybody just comes to life  
Under the spotlight, all the boys wanna fall behind  
We say, hey, here come the ladies 'bout to give a little show  
Hey, here come boys, we gonna show a little more

Hit it up, get it up, won't let you rest  
Hit it up, get it up, this is not a test  
Hit it up, get it up, gotta give me your best  
So get your ass up, show me how you Burlesque

Hit it up, get it up, won't let you rest  
Hit it up, get it up, this is not a test  
Hit it up, get it up, gotta give me your best  
So get your ass up, show me how you Burlesque

Okay girls, let's show 'em how it's done  
It ain't over till we say and we've only just begun

Lemme hear you say, yeah  
Say yeah  
Say yeah  
Say yeah

Hit it up, get it up, won't let you rest  
Hit it up, get it up, this is not a test  
Hit it up, get it up, gotta give me your best  
So get your ass up, show me how you Burlesque

Hit it up, get it up, won't let you rest  
Hit it up, get it up, this is not a test  
Hit it up, get it up, gotta give me your best  
So get your ass up, show me how you Burlesque

The other chorus girls seemed to be convinced of that much after her performance. Only the Queen Bee kept her bitch grimace. It was Rachel's turn to smirk:

"Remember me; how long have you been a chorus girl? And how long it took you to find your first job?"

xXxXx

Lou was doing as instructed and guiding her cousin to meet Blaine for lunch at Callbacks; but she was as in the dark as him as to why it was so important to have this lunch. They entered the restaurant and Kurt broke into his skippety-skip routine towards his fiancé. Blaine welcomed him with his usual love-dovey eyes and opened arms. Louisa simply rolled her eyes:

"Do you never get tired of the cotton-candy routine?"

Blaine chuckled:

"No; and neither of your silly routine of 'oh, I really got upset about that'."

She couldn't help but laughing:

"Busted! You're right, Bowtie; he's happy, I'm happy."

Kurt looked reproachfully to both of them and Blaine couldn't keep it longer before breaking into laughter. He guided the cousins to a table in a corner:

"I'm in my break so I can eat with you. Just wait here because I need to get something in the other room."

Louisa was looking at the menu more out of habit than really choosing from it. Kurt didn't even bother and leaned towards her in a conspirator whisper:

"Has Blaine being this odd all day? He was fine when we left home; but now I can see he's up to something..."

"My Blaine-o-meters aren't as great as yours; but all I'd say is that he was a little hectic during Cassandra's excuse for a class..."

Before they could conjecture more about Blaine's behavior; the boy was back with a box in his hands:

"For the love of my life."

Kurt rewarded him with the hugest of grins:

"Thanks, honey! Is this for some special occasion I'm missing out?"

Blaine chuckled:

"Just open it up and you'll understand..."

Kurt took out a blue Marc Jacobs' scarf from the box and his face filled with a mix of embarrassment and understanding:

"You didn't! Blaine; those things are so expensive! You really didn't need to bother."

Blaine was smiling like a five-years-old on Christmas:

"I know I didn't; but you decided to let me keep my puppy and you didn't have to. I'm quite fond of that puppy; you know?"

Louisa was more confused by the minute:

"Have you guys gone mad or are you speaking in a new strange kind of love language I'm not familiar with?"

After a quick peck to his boyfriend's lips; Kurt turned to his obscured cousin, still clutching to his new scarf:

"We had a deal that Satine would be out of the door if she ever ruined any of my precious clothes. Nevertheless, I couldn't do it after finding my Marc Jacobs scarf, that was a gift from Blaine for our anniversary, ruined. She had those big puppy dog's eyes that melt my heart. They are so similar to Blaine's..."

Louisa smirked:

"Well, if you ever need a place to kick Satine out; you can always do it on my apartment."

Kurt snorted:

"Thanks boo; but I'll be keeping both of them."

Blaine chuckled:

"Besides, we don't want our beloved dog training to impersonate a fruit basket..."

Louisa blushed to her brighter tone of red while Kurt looked puzzled between the two of them:

"What has happened that I'm not aware of?"

Blaine ignored Lou's pleading eyes in favor of his curious boyfriend's ones:

"Let's just say she made an impression on Cassandra's class today that will not be forgotten soon..."

Kurt's eyes were begging for more information, so Louisa gave in:

"I was fed up with her sarcasm and her lack of professionalism. Her classes are dull and she's simply mean! So, yes: I dressed up as Carmen Miranda and danced a number for her."

"Oh boo; you didn't do it."

Her sassy side kicked in:

"Why not, Kurt?"

He sighed and looked at her in his trying-no-to-piss-you-off attitude:

"You know she's looking for the faintest excuse to kick you out of the university; right?"

"And so what? I don't care! I feel so good, Kurt. Maybe NYADA isn't enough for me. Maybe New York isn't enough for me. I feel hyper!"

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a glance between them. Louisa rolled her eyes batty:

"Is there a problem?"

Kurt sighed:

"Lou, aren't you finding this strange? You behavior is completely changed; it's like you're stuck in a mood-swing."

"I don't get you: you complain when I'm down and now you complain that I'm feeling great?"

"It's not that, boo. We just want to know where all this... energy is coming from. Maybe we should channel it into something more productive so you don't feel the need to impersonate any other famous singer at inappropriate hours that could lead you to trouble."

Before she could argue, Blaine came as the peacemaker:

"I propose we go to a picnic this Saturday. Central Park is a great place for impromptu performances and Satine would love the exercise too."

xXxXx

"Rach; are you sure this is the right way to Sheep Meadows?"

The girl smiled at her boyfriend and intertwined their fingers:

"I'm sure. Sometimes I feel like I was born to be a New Yorker; it's like I know this city better than I know myself."

Finn looked at her suspiciously:

"You're different lately. I mean; you said yes without a blink to this Louisa picnic... Are you two friends now?"

"Not exactly... Let's just say I walked some miles in her shoes and I can understand her better now. Besides, aren't you also tired of seeing her and Brody feeling miserable without each other and doing nothing to change that?"

Finn looked at her even more confused:

"Yeah... but... Didn't you hate her? I don't get it."

She smiled coyly at him:

"Girls can be confusing. I'm still not the fondest of Louisa's personality; but I remembered what it feels like to be the new girl; the outcast. I understood some of her reasons and it's easier to be polite around her. Besides, hanging out with her also means hanging out with our favorite gay friends. I miss them."

He bent down to kiss her lips:

"You don't know how this new found peace makes me happy."

"One more reason to insist on it."

She winked, giving in for the kiss.

xXxXx

"Rachel! Finn! We're over here!"

Kurt didn't know exactly why, but he was so happy to see his big brother. After the usual greetings, Rachel took on the job of helping Blaine out while Finn hugged Kurt in a big-brotherly way:

"It's a lovely day to be outside. I'm glad you and Blaine decided to do this picnic."

Rachel joined in the conversation:

"We should do this more often. You know; enjoy the city and the warmer days. But I didn't quite get it; why we are doing it for Louisa this time?"

Blaine was fastest to answer:

"She's behaving weirdly ever since the time she left the hospital. This is actually our first attempt. This picnic would also be an opportunity to watch her in a more relaxed environment and think of the next steps."

Kurt looked down feeling antsy. He had agreed with Blaine that this could be a nice idea and he was sure his fiancé had nothing but good intentions in his heart. Nevertheless, if Louisa were to suspect that this was a way of dealing with her anxiety; the whole enterprise would backfire. Blaine must had noticed he was lost in thought, because he got closer to Kurt and passed an arm around his waist. However, before he could say anything; Finn was waving at Louisa, who could be seen at a distance.

She was wearing a black floral dress accompanied by her trademark red converses. Kurt smiled despite of himself: she was looking at easy and healthy. When she got closer, he held her in a protective embrace as if to save her from all the dangers of the world. She grinned:

"Woah, pumpkin! I've missed you too; but not this much since I saw you yesterday... Does this have another meaning or..."

He cut her midsentence:

"We are here to celebrate!"

Her eyes inquired him puzzled:

"Celebrate what?"

"That we are young. That we are alive! That we are beautiful and talented and living in the city of opportunity!"

She turned to Blaine with fake annoyance:

"Bowtie! Are you giving drugs to my cousin?"

Blaine chuckled:

"He's only high on love."

Louisa's face turned into a disgusted grimace and Kurt laughed at her silly ways of pretending to be an Ice Queen. He would not be removed of his plans. Not that day, anyway. With a malicious smirk; he stole Blaine's newsie's cap and took advantage of his tapping skills to put on a presentation of King of New York from Newsies – The Musical. Blaine was the first to join him while Louisa sighed in disbelief. Rachel and Finn remained comfortably seated; cheering them on.

A pair of new shoes with matchin laces...  
A permanent box at the Sheepshead Races....  
Pastrami on rye with a sour pickle...  
My personal puss on a wooden nickel...  
Look at me: I'm the king of New York!  
Suddenly  
Im respectable  
Starin right at'cha,  
Lousy with sta'cha.

Nobbin with all the muckety-mucks,  
I'm blowin my dough and goin deluxe  
And there I be!  
Ain't I pretty?  
Its my city.  
I'm the king of New York!

A solid gold watch with a chain to twirl it...  
My very own bed and an indoor terlet...  
A barbershop haircut that cost a quarter...  
A regular beat for the star reporter!  
Am-scray, punk, Shes the king of New York!  
Whod'a thunk! Im the king of New York!

We was sunk, pale, and pitiful,  
Buncha wet noodles!  
Pulitzers poodles.  
Almost about to drown in the drink,  
When she fished us out  
And drowned us in ink!

So lets get drunk!

Yeah!

Not with liquor. Fame works quicker  
When you're king of New York.

I gotta be either dead or dreamin,  
Cause look at that pape with my face beamin.  
Tomorrow they may wrap fishes in it,  
But I was a star for one whole minute!

Look at me:  
Im the king of New York!  
Wait and see:  
This is gonna make both the Delanceys  
Pee in their pant-sies.  
Flashpots are shootin bright as a sun!  
Im one highfallutin son of a gun!  
I guarantee:  
Though I crapped out, I ain't tapped out!  
Im the king of New-  
Friends may flee.  
Let 'em ditch 'ya!  
Snap one pit'cha  
Youre the king of New-  
History!  
Front page story,  
Guts and glory,  
I'm the king of New York!

Kurt knew the kryptonite to Lou's poker face: him (especially when he was being silly). Soon enough, her laughter had appeared and she was tap-dancing alongside him. Finn and Rachel joined the group at the very end; making them scoop a little money that Rachel got in charge to change for ice-cream for everyone.

xXxXx

Those meetings have become numerous and never-ending. When Brody believed there wasn't anything else to solve about his graduation; something showed up and he had to go back to Mrs. Tibidaux office to look for another solution for his case. He was completely bored as he walked out of yet another endless meeting, when he saw something that had enormous potential to brighten his day. 

At first, Louisa didn't saw him leaving the room. However, as she seemed to have been headed to that same office; they were bonded to meet.

"How's today treating you, Ms. Hummel?"

"Oh, Brody! I hadn't seen you there."

He smiled in spite of his better judgment:

"I was yet again trying to fix things for my graduation..."

"I'm so sorry..."

He stopped her mid-sentence; posing his hand in her arm. He realized a little too late that maybe touching her might not be the best idea. She didn't flinch at the touch though.

"Louisa, I don't want you feeling guilty about that. They are not taking your situation into account as to whether or not I'll graduate. It's all about my inability as a director to cast an understudy. Anyway... not important; why are you here though?"

She blushed to an adorable shade of red before answering:

"I did something that awoken Cassandra July's fury; let's put it this way..."

Almost like one of those spirits that are conjured when you say their names; Cassandra walked in the corridor and approached them with a disgusted look:

"Well, well, Brody; you used to have better taste. Don't tell me you had the courage to sleep with her after you had the pleasure of seeing me naked. Mrs. Hummel, I'm waiting for you inside."

Just like that, Cassandra was walking in the office and Louisa was turning to follow her. Brody couldn't let her go without at least an explanation. He grabbed her arm which got her attention:

"It was a long, long time ago. I was reckless and stupid."

"I don't have a habit of giving importance to what Cassandra July has to say."

He sighed relieved:

"Good. Because I really don't want you to use this as a reason not to give us a second chance."

She pursed her lips looking uncomfortable:

"The only reason is me, Brody. I don't know who I am. I thought that moving to New York to become an actress would make my dreams come true and thus making me happy. But I was wrong: all it did was making me realize I'll always be longing for something more and never be truly satisfied."

"I could help make you happy."

She smiled coyly, as if trying not to hurt him:

"No, you can't. That only comes from knowing who you are and I've still got to figure that out."

She squeezed his hand assuring before walking into the office. All he managed to do was smile back rather dopey.

xXxXx

Finn was glad they had settled the encounter at Coffee'N'Stuff. He was a bit scared by Kurt's serious face and he relieved in having nice coffee and donuts to compensate. As soon as Maggie managed to get a break to join them, Kurt cleared his throat and begun:

"Well, you must have guessed that I gathered this group here because I have something to say about Louisa. We are all worried about her behavior in the last couple of days; right? We tried a couple of things and nothing seemed to work..."

Maggie interrupted him:

"She surely seems electric and non-stoppable; but I'd say she doesn't look like she'll do something stupid like the last time."

Blaine smiled politely:

"I'd also say she's probably not close to it. However, she's doing things that end up harming her in other ways. I don't think her normal self would plan and execute the..., let's call it prank, on Cassandra's class. It's like she doesn't care anymore about her education and that doesn't sound like Louisa."

Kurt grabbed his hand wearing his proud-boyfriend smile:

"She's odd and we all know how she's like talking about those things. That's why I took a rather risky chance: I called her mother."

Finn almost chocked on his food: he'd never have the guts to do something that would piss Louisa off this much. She'd consider it high treason. But Kurt was her cousin; if someone knew Louisa better than herself it was him. Kurt gave them time to let the news sink in and continued:

"Aunt Maria always liked me very much and she knows pretty well how her daughter works. In this case, however, she said we probably have nothing to worry. She told me that Lou tends to be a little hyper when she changes medication. At first it's nothing to worry about and it tends to fade away in a few weeks times. She also said she'd be happy if we could keep an eye out for Louisa and report to her anyway. Can I count on you to help me?"

The other three nodded to Kurt. He smiled broadly and Finn couldn't help but following along: Louisa had formed the best family she could in New York.

xXxXx

Louisa saw Carmen Tibidaux taking a deep breath:

"So you are basically saying that you've done what you did because you question Ms. July's methods?"

The girl stares at the teacher for a brief second before answering to the headmistress:

"I wouldn't put it in those words; but, yes: I feel like Ms. July's classes lack diversity."

Cassandra slaps on the table by which the other two were sited:

"And who are you to tell how I should teach? Just because you can dance the samba do you think you're better than me?"

Louisa did her best to keep her calm:

"Not at all, Ms. July. I was just pointing out that, coming from another culture, I have lots of new dance styles I could contribute to your class..."

Cassandra's hysterical laugh scared her of finishing her sentence:

"Look at her! So now I'm to be trained as your pet monkey?"

Louisa's vision was beginning to be invaded with red:

"Don't! I'm not here to be insulted!"

"And I'm not here to be screamed at!"

And that was when the girl completely lost it:

"No you're not! You're supposed to be here to teach me and that's clearly not what you've been doing! You're an educator and all you can do is bringing your students down! I dare you to tell me one student you have actually helped? You're simply a bully!"

Cassandra was out of words, but Carmen went very calming, as if she was trying not to piss her teacher off:

"We can't argue that there have been lots of complains about you, Cassy."

"Carmen, I don't know what your angle is here; but I'm not putting up with this girl. She says I'm a bully; but she's not some innocent little lamb that I chose to torture."

Carmen Tibidaux took a deep breath and rested her head in her hands:

"What do you suggest we do here? You've already punished Ms. Hummel for her last semester's transgression... There's nothing in the university's regulation against impromptu performances; I'd even say we encourage them."

Cassandra looked like she could spew fire at any moment:

"But it wasn't just a performance; it was an insult!"

Carmen shrugged:

"I'm sorry; my hands are tied here, Cassy. What do you suggest?"

Cassandra's next words took Louisa by surprise:

"I want to pass her on to the next level. She'd have another teacher and I wouldn't have to look at her again."

The girl gasped:

"What?"

"I have to agree with Louisa, Cassy. It's a decision I wasn't expecting..."

"The girl isn't bad at ballet and jazz; she can keep up with the next level. I can't inspire her to do more on my class and I have a feeling that one of us could murder the other before the term is due."

Carmen then turned to Louisa:

"Could you agree with that, Ms. Hummel?"

"Hell yeah! Ops; sorry about my language."

Carmen just nodded:

"You're forgiven. I call you for a private meeting later this week so we can arrange the bureaucratic details; you may go now."

Louisa could hardly believe her luck. Not only was she hid of dreadful Cassandra as she'd have more free time for her. She was almost skipping when an unexpected presence caught her attention:

"Brody? Were you waiting for me?"

You couldn't say he blushed (it was not his style), but she knew he was embarrassed.

"I hope it's okay..."

"It actually is. I feel like celebrating and a friendly face is always welcome."

He grinned at her statement. They began to walk away from Mrs. Tibidaux's office whilst Louisa filled him up with her latest news. He got even more excited than her:

"This surely calls for a celebration! Come with me."

He started dragging her by the arm to one of the rehearsal auditoriums; she didn't feel like resisting. He sat her down at the audience and went to adjust the sound system. Then he climbed the stage and cleared his thought:

"Good evening ladies and gentleman. We are gathered here this afternoon to celebrate my good friend Louisa Hummel and her recent victory over the evil Cassandra July."

She was about to correct him, but he raised his hand in a sign that was for her to wait. She closed her lips and nodded. He went on:

"That's why I want to serenade her with a song of her people. Well... kind of..."

He began to sing Take You to Rio from the Rio Motion Picture Soundtrack. He winked at her marauderly and she couldn't help but laugh.

Let me take you to Rio, Rio  
Fly on the ocean like an eagle, eagle  
Then we can chill in my gazebo, gazebo  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, nah, nah, nah

Let me take you to Rio, Rio  
Fly on the ocean like an eagle, eagle  
Then we can chill in my gazebo, gazebo  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, nah, nah, nah

However, then it was her turn to surprise him and she jumped on stage and began to sing the part in Portuguese. He smiled broadly and joined in a duet. They sang, danced and laughed.

Veja como é rico o nosso riso [See how rich our laughter is]  
O sol é feliz de saber rir também [The sun is happy 'cus he can laugh too]  
Água verde rindo, mares vindo [Green water smiling, the seas are coming]  
Tudo é samba, e o samba vem sambar meu bem [Everything is samba, and samba came to dance, babe]  
Para ter amor e um pouquinho de Rio [To have love and a little bit of Rio]  
Onde a paixão é o riso de alguém [Where passion is someone's laughter]  
Vou te dar calor e um carinho de ritmo [I'll give you heat and a caress of rhtym]  
Todo meu amor por natureza vem, vem [All my love comes naturally, it comes]

Let me take you to Rio, Rio  
Fly on the ocean like an eagle, eagle  
Then we can chill in my gazebo, gazebo  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, nah, nah, nah

Let me take you to Rio, Rio  
Fly on the ocean like an eagle, eagle  
Then we can chill in my gazebo, gazebo  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, nah, nah, nah

É tanta beleza a se perder de vista [It's so much beauty you can't see it all]  
Cidade floresta, meu cantinho quintal [Forest-City, my place in the backyard]  
Faz quarenta graus para esquentar a vida [It's 40ºC to heat life]  
Faz uma batida pra ficar legal [It's a rhytm to makes things cool]  
Laje é minha nave no alto do morro [My place is a spaceship on top of the hill]  
Todo dia é dia de beijar o sol [Everyday is kissing the sun day]  
Samba na batida projetos e rimas [A samba rhytm of projects and rimes]  
Não tem fantasia tudo é carnaval [There are no fantasies, it's all carnival]

Let me take you to Rio, Rio  
Fly on the ocean like an eagle, eagle  
Then we can chill in my gazebo, gazebo  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, nah, nah, nah

Let me take you to Rio, Rio  
Fly on the ocean like an eagle, eagle  
Then we can chill in my gazebo, gazebo  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, nah, nah, nah

By the end of it; she approached him and engulfed him in a friendly hug:

"Thank you."

He chuckled:

"It was my pleasure. Besides, I'd love to see you dancing the samba. Word has it that your performance in Cassandra's class was one for the books."

"Well, honey; you have to earn it to see it."

xXxXx

Rachel grabbed another glass of wine and went to sit on the couch looking around, pleased with the party they were throwing. Although they had named it the "Screw Them" party; all the people surrounding her were an us.

It had been a week for celebration in several ways: she had got into good terms (or the best they could be) with her cast-mates; Louisa got hid of Cassandra and her organism was getting used to the new medication, making her calm again; Kurt and Blaine were as happy as they could be; Brody was accepted back in their social group and there had been months since she last had an argue with Finn.

They were living the dream and taking New York by storm; what could go wrong? Deciding that they should party more while they were young; she and Finn had called this little social gathering with the best food, drinks and music in town. As if in cue with her thoughts, Finn looked at her from the sound system and winked.

He pressed play to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis' Can't Hold Us. Everybody begun to dancing around the living room; that kind of dance where the body goes free and there's no technique at all. Rachel joined them in their little moment of being infinite.

Can we go back, this is the moment  
Tonight is the night, we'll fight till its over  
So we put our hands up like the ceiling can't hold us  
Like the ceiling can't hold us

Can we go back, this is the moment  
Tonight is the night, we'll fight till its over  
So we put our hands up like the ceiling can't hold us  
Like the ceiling can't hold us

So we put our hands up  
So we put our hands up


	20. A Brazilian Night

Louisa would never admit it out loud; but hanging out at Kurt and Blaine's place was one of the most relaxing activities she knew. Kurt was preparing one of his famous soufflés for their dinner, Satine was rounding his feet waiting that he'd drop anything and Blaine was surfing the web on his tablet. Lou just stretched on the couch enjoying her cousin's hums coming from the kitchen and not thinking of anything in particular. Blaine's voice was what caught her attention:

"Kurt, did you know it's Prom week at McKinley?"

Kurt's voice answered him from the kitchen:

"Really? How do you know?"

"I'm reading Marley's blog post about Prom dress hunting. She's a lovely girl, but still so insecure..."

Kurt appeared in the living room wearing an apron and licking something out of his finger:

"You know, she was one of my favorites from the new Glee club. She always had a smile on her lips and nice words to say."

Blaine smiled:

"That pretty much sums her up... Although Kitty changed a lot during my senior year. She began the year being mean to whatever moved, but she was the one lending her dress to Tina at our senior Prom..."

Kurt sat by his side and got a look at the tablet screen:

"I still can't forgive myself for not being able to escort you to your senior Prom. It would have been nice to have a night just to relax. I mean; if we didn't get much involved in the Tina accident. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever have a quiet celebration together."

Louisa spoke absentmindedly, reminding the others that she was still on the room:

"Prom is something that always intrigued me."

Blaine looked puzzled at her:

"How so?"

"It's like you always make a big deal out of it; I mean, in the movies and everything. But you've got to go at least twice to it and I never really understood which one do you really call Prom and why all the fuss around corsages, dresses, dinner, inviting dates, hotel room. I think it would be a nightmare if I had to attend one..."

Blaine adjusted himself on the couch as he inquired her:

"What do you mean? There are no Proms in Brazil?"

"No. We have a High School graduation party but it's more like a regular party. There aren't that many rules and it's more about celebrating with your friends that you've finished a cycle with. Anyhow, it's not even that big of a deal because almost no one moves cities to go to college and you'll keep in touch with the people that really matter. I didn't go to my graduation party and I don't regret it."

It was Kurt's turn to look at her alarmed:

"You never attended a big event with the people you went to High School with?"

She shrugged:

"Why the surprise, pumpkin? You always knew I never had a Prom. Some of my friends had big debutant parties that I went too and all the people in our year were invited. I was always more of a wallflower and I never cared. That's why it wasn't a big deal when mom couldn't afford to pay for me to attend the graduation party. I took my diploma at the ceremony at school and we had a family dinner in a nice place after."

Blaine looked in the verge of tears:

"But Lou, Prom is also about a magical night when a guy will make you feel like a princess."

She chuckled:

"Although I'm used to hanging out with a hobbit; I've stopped believing in fairy-tales a long time ago."

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a look that was beginning to mean something to Louisa too. She already knew them too well to understand they were up to something.

"Oh, no. Absolutely not! You two are not going to fly me at the end of term to Ohio just so I can go to a stupid High School Prom with a gay date. I mean; I love you two and everything but you'll have to agree none of you are my ideal Prince Charming."

They were both maliciously smirking as they made their way closer to her.

"You see, dear cousin; we were not planning on sending you to Ohio. You deserve a New York Prom and that's all you can know by now."

Blaine chuckled right by her ear:

"Besides, you're screwed, my darling: you just confessed you also loved me and I'm never letting it go."

They both attacked-kissed her cheeks and she resigned to sighing and rolling her eyes: there was absolutely no way she could escape those two and win that one.

xXxXx

"Brody, I know you've given up all your romantic intentions towards me but you'll love me like never before once you've learned what I've got to say."

Brody smiled at his Drama Queen friend but he wasn't really caught by Rachel's enthusiasm. Good thing she didn't exactly need an audience to go on with her show:

"It's simply your golden opportunity to get back with Louisa."

"Only if you were right..."

She grabbed his arm dearly but a little disappointed:

"The Brody I know never gave up that easily."

He tried a smile towards the girl:

"I'm just tired. She keeps repeating that it's not me, it's her; but I don't think I can get dumped once again."

Rachel sighed giving up on whatever scheme she had to announce her news and putting a pamphlet in front of him.

"What's that, Rach?"

She smirked at his more positive response:

"Kurt and Blaine learned that Louisa had never attended a Prom and decided to throw her a Prom-like party. Blaine arranged everything at Callbacks and it's called A Brazilian Night because there will be Brazilian food and the karaoke will be of Brazilian songs or Brazilian influenced songs. What do you say now? Why aren't you running out of here to go ask her as your date?"

Brody shook his head at his friend while a plan was forming in his head:

"If I simply asked her; she'd drop me. But this could be the perfect opportunity to woo her. I'm thinking of something that might just be what will get to surprise her."

"Do tell!"

He chuckled seeing his friend was really up to help him at whatever cost:

"I can't tell you here. But you could help me. Would you follow me to my room?"

"Sure."

Rachel reached for her bag but she was far too slow for his new found enthusiasm. He urged her up, grabbed her hand and ran towards his room. They ran into someone and he saw it wasn't his lucky day because it was Louisa and she didn't liked what she saw.

"Louisa! I'm so sorry."

She ignored the hand he had stretched to help her:

"It's okay, Brody. Good morning, Rachel."

Rachel just nodded. Louisa kept staring between the two of them and their linked hands. She swallowed uncomfortably and went on:

"I came here just to hand you a pamphlet to the Brazilian night; but I can see that Rachel already took charge of it. Hope to see you there... both of you."

She walked away and Rachel turned to him with a thumbs-up:

"I call it progress."

He looked down, not matching with the singing-voice quality of her statement:

"You don't know her like I do. Her lips said one thing; but her eyes said another."

xXxXx

"Kuuurt! I don't want to wear a dress like that!"

He continued to flip through his magazine practically ignoring his cousin's pleas coming from the trying-room. Why did she have to be so stubborn when it came to buying clothes? Why couldn't she simply trust him blindly and let him make her look astonishing?

"Bullshit, boo. I bet you look amazing."

She pushed her head through the curtain:

"I look like a wedding cake."

"I can't believe it."

The girl sighed and walked out of the booth. Kurt had to bite his cheek to prevent from laughing: she indeed looked a bit ridiculous in the dress that ballooned around her waist. Okay; maybe she wasn't a size 2 like he suspected and he'd have to find something less traditional for her.

"Don't worry, boo. So you don't have the body type for this dress. We can still make you look dashing."

She frowned checking herself in the mirror:

"I don't know why you're making such a fuss about it all. It's just another party at Callbacks like so many others we had."

Kurt rolled his eyes:

"You're totally missing the point! It's a party about you; a celebration. We wanted to give you a night were you could feel like the most important girl in the world."

"Why?"

"Why? You still need to ask? Because you are our sweetheart that has gone through so much. We want to be together in a night where we can let our hairs down – metaphorically speaking off course; I'm thinking off some amazing do for your hair."

She couldn't help but chuckling and he smiled at that:

"See? We missed that smile. Trust your dear cousin and just concentrate on having a wonderful time, okay? Can you do this for me?"

She nodded but he didn't let her say anything:

"Wait for me here while I'll pick up some different dresses for you."

Kurt saw as she puffed and sat down, being swallowed by the dress. He gave a small chuckle remembering the little girl who would pout at Grandma for being tired and not wanting to rehearse anymore because her costume pierced. Little Lou would also complain about having to wear a big coat, gloves and hats. She would remind them (a few hundreds of times) that it was summer in Rio and she could be wearing a comfortable cotton dress instead (but never missing an opportunity to build a snowman with him). He reminded the late nights they would stay awake with she telling him amazing stories about Rio and its people.

He started humming Tom Jobim's She's a Carioca while picking up dresses and figuring out which colors would look good with his cousin's complexion. He got back to a much better humored Louisa. He began to sing out loud while she went in and off the booth with a new dress every time and earned quite a few grins from the girl. She tried a few dance steps in purple billowing dress to which he gave a head nod.

Here she comes

Here she comes

Ela é carioca

She's a carioca

Just see the way she walks

Nobody else can be

What she is to me

I look and what do I see

When I look deep in her eyes

I can see the sea

A forgotten road

The caressing skies

And not only that I'm in love

With her

The most exciting way

It's written on my lips

Where her kisses stay

She smiles and all of a sudden

The world is smiling for me,

And you know what else she's a carioca

Ela é carioca

Here she comes

Here she comes

She smiles and all of a sudden

The world is smiling for me,

And you know what else she's a carioca

Ela é carioca

Here she comes

Here she comes

"I think this is the one, boo."

"I think so too. And on the plus side: I'm so comfortable in it."

Seeing her so happy made Kurt let go of her last sentence. His mind was racing around shoes, make-up and hair do while she swirled in front of a mirror, the perfect image of a little girl trying on a princess dress. He got closer to her and hugged her from behind:

"Don't worry; you look amazing."

She smiled resting her head in his shoulder:

"You know how much I love you; don't you?"

"Of course! Who else can make you look so fabulous?"

xXxXx

Finn felt the tie pressing his Adam's apple; he always got uncomfortable wearing a suit. He looked at Blaine so calm at his side and wondered how the boy could dress up every day purposely:

"Dude, do bowties are more comfortable than big ties? I'm dying in here."

Blaine looked at him smiling:

"I can barely feel them anymore. Don't worry; all your effort is for a good cause."

Finn placed a hand on the shorter man's shoulders:

"By the way, thanks again for sharing your plan with me. I'd never think I'd have to ask Rachel out as my date to this Prom-thingy."

Blaine nodded:

"It's not that you have to ask her; but she'll like you being romantic. Besides, Kurt loves to double date and I wanted so much to give him a romantic night."

"You really got it bad for my brother, man."

"Not bad; wonderfully perfect."

Before he had to think of an answer to the cheesy line; Finn was saved by Rachel and Kurt crossing the street to join them by the restaurant's door. They both looked very excited seeing their boyfriends so dapper. Rachel walked to him and signaled for him to lower so she could peck his lips:

"You even dressed up for this date? Finn; that's lovely. Is there something going on?"

Blaine smirked:

"Don't be so anxious, Rach. You both will know when the right time comes. Now, if you'll follow me."

Blaine made his way inside the restaurant being followed by the others and asking the hostess for the reservation under the name Anderson. They were guided to a booth lighted by candles and Rachel and Kurt's eyes seemed to sparkle even more with every new thing they saw. 

Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm:

"Candlelight?"

Blaine smiled:

"You'll see; trust me."

Their dinner wasn't as much different from others double dates they had had. Lots of the other three catching up on NYADA's news while Finn pretended to listen. At least, Blaine chose a good Italian place with great food and fair price. He had specifically advised Finn that the whole thing would go to the pigs if he didn't pay for his and Rachel's part.

He was kind of lost as to how they would put Blaine's plan into action; but the boy had assure him it would work out and he'd tell the right moment for Finn to do it. "Just follow my lead" were Blaine's exact words and he trusted the boy. Seeing some of the romantic things he had done for Kurt; Finn could only assume the boy was a natural. At that moment, the boy winked at Finn and he knew it was his cue to take the box out of his pocket and keep it whiting reach.

Blaine hit his fork on the water glass to catch everyone's attention:

"Well, I think we've kept the suspense long enough tonight and maybe it's time that Finn and I do what we came here to do. Finn, do you mind if I do the talking? We kind of have the same goals here..."

Finn expected that his relief didn't show much on his enthusiastic nod. Blaine smiled and went on:

"Kurt, Rachel; you both know how much we love you and the journey we all went through to be here today. We're living together, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't take some time off to show our loved ones how much they are loved and cared for. You're all aware that next weekend we are going to have a little Prom in tribute to Louisa. However, you two are the light of our lives and we wish to remind you of that. So, Kurt; would you give me the enormous honor of being my date?"

All the eyes were caught on Kurt's bright ones as Blaine gave him a box with matching boutonnieres. Kurt was nodding vigorously and went to hug his fiancé. Just then Finn remembered to look at Rachel and caught her looking at him with teary eyes:

"Finn, you took me out to dinner to ask me as your date?"

He smiled a little uneasy:

"Blaine helped me a lot; but once he mentioned the Prom, I knew I wanted to take you and give you a special night."

He took the rose corsage that was under the table and presented it to her:

"The girl at the flower shop said that roses meant love. I didn't know what color your dress was, so I understand if you can't wear it. But please keep it and remember how much I love you."

"No, Finn; it's perfect. Even if it didn't match my dress - which you are lucky, it does - I'd change dresses so I could wear it. It was so romantic of you! I love you so much."

She cupped his face with her hands and went in for a gentle kiss. Finn made a mental note to thank Blaine as soon as possible.

xXxXx

Louisa felt pretty silly walking out of the taxi in her dress (that could be called a gown) just to go to Callbacks. Okay, the way it was lighten for the night really created an atmosphere of anything is possible; but her head wasn't in the fairyland Kurt wanted it to be. She took a few deep breaths and walked closer to the door. And that was when she remembered why she was so nervous about that night: Brody was already there and hugging Rachel, who was laughing in his arms.

She lost it for a moment and went to sit on the sideway. Why did she care so much? Wasn't she the one who was better off alone? Wasn't Brody a done deal? Sure, she liked him. That's why she should be happy that he moved on and found somebody who made him happy. Somebody healthy. But why wasn't she? Was it because of Finn? Well, she hadn't considered him in all of this up until that moment. However, before she could come up with any conclusion, a hand in her shoulder caught her attention.

She turned her head up, whipping away the tears that where menacing to fall from her eyes, to find Blaine's stretched hand towards her:

"You'd make your cousin very disappointed right now. You're ruining your outfit and make-up at the same time."

She gave him a half-smile and looked back down. Without further ado, he took off his jacket and sat beside her. They stood quiet for a couple of minutes until she gathered the courage to look at him. He turned his gaze from the starts to her face, wearing a friendly smile:

"Are you all cried out? I don't mind sitting with you here all night; but if I'm trustworthy enough, I'd like to hear what's troubling you and see if I can help."

She chuckled:

"You saved my life, Blaine. I would trust you with anything."

He smirked:

"Calling me by my name? Someone really have her guards down for tonight... Come on; you still haven't told me if it's just being put on the spotlight or if there's something else behind those tears."

She frowned her nose not knowing how to put it out in words. He whipped away the stubborn tears with his thumb and she felt loved and cared for. She sighed:

"It's not the spotlight. I... I know what Kurt's trying to tell me with it and I'm thankful. I love you both very much. It's... It's Brody."

Blaine stopped her:

"Say no more."

He looked in his jacket's pocket and produced a small plastic box. He handled it to Louisa who looked puzzle at the small flower inside.

"An orchid?"

"An orchid corsage. You may have heard of them; it's what a guy gives to his Prom date. Well, technically I'm taken; but I wanted you to have the full Prom experience. Besides, you already said that you loved me twice; that is a big deal. Can I?"

He gestured to her arm and she stretched it to him. He smiled while tiding up the corsage at her wrist and made her stand up.

"I was actually saving this to be my contribution to the Brazilian night. However, after what you said about Brody; I think the lyrics might have an extra meaning tonight. You'd make me incredibly honored if you gave me the first dance of the night."

Blaine begun to sing Milton Nascimento's Unencounter; while he placed a hand at her waist and grabbed her left hand with his right. They were waltzing in the middle of the sideway and catching more than a few curious looks. But Louisa didn't care: it truly felt like a fairytale moment.

Why did you too leave this town, my friend?

Do you remember that tune

The song you sang to me

Asking about the friends

Who were leaving the town?

You didn't see but I cryed

Because it was my time to go

You were so sad and I didn't know what to do

But to leave with that song leaving you

You were so sad and I didn't know what to do

But to leave with that song leaving you

Do you remember that tune my friend?

I can remember you saying

Maybe those people are searching for their place

Maybe their time isn't here

But you could never understand

Because it was your time to stay

But always the same goes on

Always the same goes on

Now you left the town

And I'm here looking for you

He finished his song and they stood cuddled a while longer. He whispered in her ear:

"I may not be your Prince Charming; but I like to think of myself as your Fairy Godfather."

She took a step away so she could look in his eyes:

"Thank you. For everything."

xXxXx

Blaine was glad to see he was able to put Louisa in a better mood so she could walk confidently inside. The only thing she asked of him was for him to announce her number as soon as they walked in. He didn't know why she wanted it so badly; but he judged it was a small compromise to be made.

"Okay, Lou; just wait here and I'll call you to get on the stage. You're the opening number and the great honoree of the night, so I'll have a few words to say or Kurt will kill me."

She rolled her eyes in the Hummel way:

"How does it feel to be so whipped, Bowtie?"

"Look who's back! Please, Lou; just be a good girl and don't get me into trouble."

She nodded and he accepted as much as guarantee. He crossed ways with a concerned looking Kurt on his way to the stage; he simply winked to let Kurt know he had succeeded with Louisa. Blaine turned the microphone on and called for everyone's attention:

"Good evening everyone. We at the Callbacks are proudly to present or first Brazilian Night. We tried to recreate a Brazilian atmosphere for you; but also, we wanted you to feel like it's a magical night were everything is possible. To start the fun and open the karaoke for the night; I'd like to welcome to the stage the girl who inspired this night. Applauses for Miss Louisa Hummel."

Louisa had her head high as she climbed the stage. She took the microphone smiling and glimpsed at Blaine before addressing to the audience. In that brief moment, he could tell she was wearing her "I'm strong" mask.

"Hello again Callbacks. I'd like to thank each and every one of you who came here tonight but specially to my wonderful cousins: Kurt and Blaine. I had another song prepared for tonight; but circumstances made me want to sing this one from Tom Jobim. You may recognize it in Judy Garland's voice."

She provided Blaine another piece of sheet music and he looked puzzled at her after reading the title: How Insensitive. He was blaming himself for being so stupid. He thought she'd get the clue his song gave to her that the Brody story was just a misunderstanding. Clearly she still thought he was with Rachel and was about to put her heart on the line again. Dumb Blaine! However, he couldn't think of a solution at the moment.

And so she began to sing her sad melody and so it was clear to the whole bar that she was heartbroken.

How insensitive

I must have seemed

When he told me that he loved me

How unmoved and cold

I must have seemed

When he told me so sincerely

Why he must have asked

Did I just turn and stare in icy silence

What was I to say

What can you say

When a love affair is over

Now he's gone away

And I'm alone

With a memory of his last look

Vague and drawn and sad

I see it still

All his heartbreak in that last look

How he must have asked

Could I just turn and stare in icy silence

What was I to do

What can one do

When a love affair is over

xXxXx

Kurt welcomed his long faced cousin in his arms:

"Don't be like this, boo. I don't know who hurt you; but you'll tell me just after Rachel and Finn's number and I'll kick their ass."

She looked confused at him:

"Rachel and Finn's? They broke up and are singing together?"

Kurt was more shocked than her:

"They broke up? Why hasn't Finn told me anything? I had lunch with him, for crying out loud! I'm his freaking brother."

"Easy pumpkin; he hasn't told me anything. I just assume Rachel was with Brody."

Kurt put the pieces together:

"Oh no, boo. Don't tell me you're like this for Brody?"

She made a guilty grimace and looked back down. But before Kurt could argue further, Rachel was taking the microphone and announcing their number:

"It's so nice to be back at Callbacks. For tonight, my boyfriend Finn and I have prepared Black Eyed Peas' version of Mas Que Nada. Louisa, sorry about our Portuguese; it was the best we could master in the short notice."

They did quite well for who said they had almost no time to rehearsal. Rachel had managed to prepare this number in between Spring Awakening rehearsals and it wasn't half bad. And Finn had his unique charm while trying to follow the dance routine she had created.

Oaria raio

Oba oba oba

Oaria raio

Oba oba oba

Mas que nada

Black eyed peas came in to make it hotter

We beat the party starters

Bubblin up just like lava

Like lava heat it like a sauna

Penetrating into your body armor

Rhythmically we message ya

With hip hop mixed up with samba

With samba so yes yes y'all

You know we never stop

We never rest y'all

The black eyed peas are keeping it funky fressh y'all

And we wont stop until we get you, til we get you sayin

Oaria raio

Oba oba oba

Oaria raio

Oba oba oba

Peter piper picked peppers but tab rocked ryhmes

1,2,3 for several times

Heavy rotation made by every kind

Of radio stations blessing every mind

And we crossing boundaries like everyday

Tu papi papi pair to the r n b

We got we got tab magnification tab magnafied

Like every day

So yes yes y'all

You know we never stop we never rest y'all y'all

The black eyed peas are keeping it funky fressh y'all

And we wont stop until we get you, til we get you

Sayin

Oaria raio

Oba oba oba (la la la la la)

Oaria raio

Oba oba oba

Drop hot hot be my daily operation

Got to put a right in this crazy occupation

Gotta keep it movin' that's the motivation

Gotta ride the waves and keep a tight relation

With my team keeping moving and doing it right

I've been in a lab every day til daylight

Thats the way things move in this monkey business

We took a old samba song and remixed it

Mas que nada [Not at all]

Sai da minha frente [Get out of my way]

Eu quero passar [I want to go through]

Pois o samba esta animado ['Cus the samba is hot]

O que eu quero e sambar [And what I want to do is samba]

Este samba [This samba]

Que é misto de maracatu [That's mixed up with maracatu]

É samba de preto velho [It's an old black man's samba]

Samba de preto tu [It's a black man's samba]

Mas que nada, we gonna make you feel lil hotter

Peas and Sérgio Mendes heating up sambaaaa

Badabababababaaaaaa

Sergio play your piano Sérgio play your yo yo yo yo

Piano (echoing)

Check it out

Oaria raio

Oba oba oba (la la la la la)

Oaria raio

Oba oba oba (la la la la la)

Oaria raio

Oba oba oba

Este samba [This samba]

Que é misto de maracatu [That's mixed up with maracatu]

É samba de preto velho [It's na old black man's samba]

Samba de preto tu (la la la la la) [It's a black man's samba]

They were hugely applauded by everyone; including Louisa, who seemed to have found her peace with Rachel.

xXxXx

Rachel got down from the stage giggling and satisfied; it didn't matter how many times they fought or were in each other's throats: Finn would ever be her perfect duet partner. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and she went to check on Brody and his plan.

She found the boy by the bar and looking terrified. She approached him and placed her hand on his shoulder:

"Tonight is the night; right?"

"I wish I had your enthusiasm, Rach. Haven't you pay attention to her song? She's mad at me for something I have no clue about."

Rachel studied her friend's scared eyes for a moment:

"It was odd. Maybe you were right the other day when we bumped into her in NYADA..."

He stopped her mid-sentence:

"That's it; Rachel. Maybe she thinks we're together."

She looked at him in disbelief:

"She couldn't! She knows I'm with Finn and that I'd never go behind his back!"

Brody seemed to be considering a lot of things in his head at that moment:

"In fact, she was never your friend. So she doesn't know you that well..."

"Come on; Brody. We wouldn't be as stupid as to have an affair and meet up at NYADA at broad day light."

He sighed:

"I don't understand completely what goes in her head! Maybe I should try to talk to her first..."

"No! That would be worse; you know how thickheaded she can be. She simply wouldn't listen. Now is not the moment to get cold feet; just jump on that stage and do what you came here to do. I guarantee that she will at least stop and listen. Go on; Blaine is taking the names and I think he'd be glad to help."

She saw Brody take a shot in one go and get up to talk to Blaine. The younger boy signed the other in with an understanding smile. Brody took the stage and looked in Rachel's direction. She smiled and nodded; he took a deep breath and begun:

"Good evening; my name is Brody Weston and I'd like to show you something I've been working on. This song is dedicated to a very special girl I mistreated in the past. These are not my words, but I hope I can borrow Tom Jobim's words for his Luiza to tell mine how I truly feel."

Rachel listened to song they've been rehearsing together all week. They struggled trying to pronounce the words in Portuguese and looking for meanings in on-line videos and translators. They were glad to having found a song with Louisa's name so soon after typing "Brazilian love songs" on Google. He looked for the translated lyrics and knew that was the one. The only thing they had yet to figure out was if it would reach the goal they pursued...

Rua, [Street]

Espada nua [Naked sword]

Boia no céu imensa e amarela [Floats in the sky enormous and yellow]

Tão redonda a lua [So round the moon]

Como flutua [How it floats]

Vem navegando o azul do firmamento [It comes sailing the blue skies]

E no silêncio lento [And in a slow silence]

Um trovador, cheio de estrelas [A trobadour, filled with stars]

Escuta agora a canção que eu fiz [Listen up now to the song I did]

Pra te esquecer Luiza [To forget you Luiza]

Eu sou apenas um pobre amador [I'm just a poor amateur]

Apaixonado [In love]

Um aprendiz do teu amor [An apprendice of your love]

Acorda amor [Wake up love]

Que eu sei que embaixo desta neve mora um coração [I know beneath the snow lives your heart]

Vem cá, Luiza [Come here, Luiza]

Me dá tua mão [Give me your hand]

O teu desejo é sempre o meu desejo [Your desire is always my desire]

Vem, me exorciza [Come, exsorcize me]

Me dá tua boca [Give me your mouth]

E a rosa louca [And this crazy rose]

Vem me dar um beijo [Come give me a kiss]

E um raio de sol [And a ray of sunshine]

Nos teus cabelos [In your hair]

Como um brilhante que partindo a luz [As a diamond that breaks light]

Explode em sete cores [It explodes in seven colors]

Revelando então os sete mil amores [It reveals seven thousand sides of love]

Que eu guardei somente pra te dar Luiza [That I kept just to give you, Luiza]

Luiza

Luiza

Rachel took her eyes from the boy on the stage to look for the girl being serenated in the audience. Louisa, who usually was so tough to read, was an open book that night. Rachel clapped her hands excitedly: she could bet her friend would find his happiness that night.

xXxXx

The lights on the stage and the place she was standing didn't allow Brody to see Louisa while he performed. Hoping for the best, he sang his heart out. He thanked the audience and was on his way to rejoin Rachel at the bar. However, someone had stopped on his way and wouldn't let him go unless he talked to her.

"You really did mean all that, Brody?"

He sighed looking for courage:

"Yes, Louisa; every word."

She was in her ever-suspicious attitude:

"Did you learn Portuguese?"

He chuckled:

"No; just the lyrics to this song. My pronounce probably sucked..."

"It did."

He took a deep breath:

"Okay, Louisa. If you came here just to insult me, I'll just go..."

He took one step away and felt her hand in his arm.

"Wait!"

He turned to her:

"What for, Louisa?"

She looked down:

"You got me confused..."

"I got you confused? You've been doing nothing but sending me mixed signals ever since we broke up!"

She answered in a feeble voice:

"I was a mess; I didn't want to hurt you."

He took her chin and raised her head so that her eyes were in his:

"You keep trying to protect me; but I don't want to be protected. I want you. I know you've got baggage, but I don't care! Everybody got baggage and mine was pretty heavy and you gave me a chance anyway. Please, Lou; let me do the same to you."

He could barely believe in what came next. She attacked his lips with such passion that he could barely recognize the kiss. Eventually, she got softer against him and he kissed her back tenderly. She broke the kiss and he saw her smile matching his. He took her hand:

"Does this mean we're back together?"

She smirked:

"This means you better walk me home tonight and find out."


	21. Grown Woman

Brody couldn't feel his left arm but it was worth it. He wasn't completely awake and yet he smiled seeing the sleeping girl in his arm. Although he would love nothing more than to stay exactly where he was, still his arm was beginning to hurt. He tried to move without waking Louisa but she stirred anyway. She nuzzled against his chest still sleepy:

"You are so cozy. Why are you trying to go away?"

"I need to move my arm."

She adjusted herself in bed to help him free:

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm getting used to you sleeping here every night."

He smiled and stole a peck from her lips. She smiled back to him and he felt his heart melting.

"You can get used to my embrace; it's just these little mundane things..."

"The little mundane things, Brody, are what keep us together. You've seen my dark side and embraced it. I've seen your worst and I'm still here. We're both humans and building something healthy together."

He begun to smell the top of her head:

"And suddenly things got so heavy so early in the morning."

She laughed her musical laugh:

"You're right. Let's go back to where you're cozy and I'm comfortable."

She snuggled closer in his embrace and started to play with his fingers. They stood silent for a while until she caught his attention:

"Do you have a busy day today as well?"

He sighed:

"Very busy. Again."

"Are you coming to sleep in tonight?"

"Can I? I'd love to."

She smiled:

"Of course you can. Seems like the only time of the day I can see you. Not that I'm complaining, I know how hard it is on you not even knowing if you'll graduate or not."

He kissed her head:

"It will all be worth it. You're healthy and that's all that matters."

"I'm feeling good. Like I hadn't felt in a long time. I feel happy. It's as if my troubles have disappeared for a while."

"That's so good to hear, Lou!"

And he rewarded their happiness with a passionate kiss that he'd still remember a couple of minutes later as he left her apartment. He was still smiling on the subway as he put his phones on and listened to the first few chords of Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved.

Beauty queen of only eighteen she  
Had some trouble with herself  
He was always there to help her, she  
Always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles and wound up  
At your door  
I've had you so many times but somehow I want more

I don't mind spendin' everyday  
Out on your corner in the pourin' rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay a while  
And she will be loved, and she will be loved

Tap on my window, knock on my door, I  
Want to make you feel beautiful  
I know I tend to get so insecure  
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies  
It's compromise that moves us along yeah  
My heart is full, and my door's always open  
You can come anytime you want yeah

I don't mind spendin' everyday  
Out on your corner in the pourin' rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay a while  
And she will be loved, and she will be loved  
And she will be loved, and she will be loved

I know where you hide alone in your car  
Know all of the things that make you who you are  
I know that goodbye means nothing at all  
Comes back and makes me catch her every time she  
Falls

Yeah, tap on my window, knock on my door, I  
Want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spendin' everyday  
Out on your corner in the pourin' rain oh  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay a while  
And she will be loved, and she will be loved  
And she will be loved, and she will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say good-bye  
I don't mind spendin' everyday, out on your corner in the pourin' rain  
Please don't try so hard to say good-bye

Their relationship has had its ups and downs but he was sure they were now headed in the right way. He loved Louisa and he wanted to scream it to the world. However, he was cautious not to pressure her and her newfound peace by dropping the l-bomb too soon. Not to mention that she hadn't got over Finn yet. But he'd wait and love her like she deserved.

xXxXx

Blaine broke their tenth kiss that day and Kurt whined:

"Do you really have to go?"

Blaine chuckled and stole yet another kiss from his lips:

"You know I have to visit my family."

"But why are you going to Ohio on the week I'll have to stay in New York?"

"You know why..."

Kurt sighed:

"Yeah, yeah; I know why. I just don't want to let you go. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, gorgeous. But you know how my father is and for how long I've postponed this meeting."

"Well, it's about time you tell him about the engagement."

Blaine paused, took a deep breath:

"You know I'm not embarrassed about the engagement, about you or anything, right?"

Kurt smiled and rubbed his arm reassuringly:

"I know, Blee. I've met your father and I saw how he is when you act on being gay. We've discussed this and we agreed that it's better for you to do it alone."

Blaine looked up and when he stared back down, his eyes were gleaming:

"I've passed the age of being scared of my father."

"Honey, you are the brave one here. One day he'll be happy about it."

"One day is not today..."

"One day we'll give him grandchildren and he'll be a proud Grandpapa."

Blaine snorted a smile and took Kurt's hand:

"I don't want him proud of his grandchildren; I want him proud of me! And the man I chose to be by my side."

"Eventually he'll see past it. He'll see we're a match made in heaven."

"Do you seriously believe it?"

"Of course I do! He's slowly changing. He'll see how happy you are, how happy I can make you and he'll give us his blessing."

"Are you sure you can't come with me? I could use the pep-talk."

Kurt pecked Blaine:

"You don't need the pep-talk. Just keep being the brave out man you are and your father will learn to respect you."

"I love you so much."

Kurt passed his arms around Blaine's neck walking closer to him:

"Soon enough you'll be back, right?"

"Like I could leave you and Satine alone for too long."

They kissed yet another time before Blaine gathered his courage and left for the airport.

xXxXx

"Kurt! In here!"

Rachel was waiving at him from one of the tables in the cafeteria. He walked closer and hugged her hello:

"It's like I haven't seen you in ages, Rach. How's everything?"

She sighed rolling her eyes:

"Do you want the long story or the short? How much time do you have?"

He sat down and placed his bag in an empty chair:

"I have all the time in the world. Tell me everything."

"It's just rehearsals at Spring Awakening that aren't going so well. There's a Queen Bee that hates me and all of the other girls seems to follow her around. At first, it was like not having any friends but now they are beginning to be mean to me. To top things of, Finn is in his finals week and we hardly see each other. Let's just say I was in desperate need of a friendly face."

Kurt smiled sympathetic and took her hand:

"I'm always here for you, Rach. Blaine is in Ohio this week so you got me all to yourself. I mean, for you and Louisa. My week with the girls."

"We should get together and have some fun. I really need it right now."

"Are you using 'fun' and 'Louisa' in the same sentence?"

She laughed:

"We found our peace."

Kurt smiled:

"That's very good to know."

xXxXx

After Brody went, Louisa entered in the shower. She was still absently minded drying her hair when she found Maggie dumbstruck in the kitchen.

"Maggie? What's wrong?"

Maggie flashed her phone at Lou and spoke in a grievous tone:

"It was my grandmother. My grandfather just passed away."

"Oh, Mags!"

Louisa run to hug her friend who begins to sob in her arms. She rubbed Maggie's back trying to sooth her:

"At least his pain is over. He had been ill for a while, hasn't he?"

Maggie nodded and Louisa passed her some napkins to serve as handkerchiefs. After blowing her nose, Maggie looked at her friend:

"I'm not just sad for my grandpa. I'll have to go to Texas and face a whole side of my family who not approve me for the way I am. Being a lesbian artist is not far up on my family's book."

"It's really their lost, Mags. You're awesome and it's a privilege to have you as a friend."

Maggie huffed:

"You say that because we're in our New York haven. My relatives are hard to deal with in the best of days; I can imagine what it will be like on Papa Philip's funeral."

"Is there anything I can do for you now?"

"You could cover my shift at Coffee'N'Stuff."

xXxXx

Kurt walked in the coffee shop to see his cousin in an apron and handing lattes. She smiled at him and signaled him to wait. He sat on a corner with his mocha and people-watched for a while. Finally, Louisa sat on his table with a relief sigh:

"I was covering up for Maggie and her replacement never got here. Working at the coffee shop is so much more work than the bookstore. Anyway, here I am. What did you want with me?"

"First of all, to see you. It's like you're hardly available anymore."

Her cheeks grew a bit redder as she smiled coyly:

"I've been spending a little too much time with Brody..."

Kurt examined her better:

"You are different... There's something about you."

She smiled with her whole face this time:

"I'm confident. I'm taking things in my hands and doing things my way."

"Brody taught you that?"

She chuckled lightly:

"No; Brody is a consequence. I'm living my full potential and found it in me to have someone by my side."

"That sounds deep and grown up, honey."

"Maybe I'm finally learning from my struggles. My point is, I learned to embrace my dark side and I can be in a relationship for real this time."

He took her hand over the table:

"I'm really happy for you."

"Me too, pumpkin. But tell me; what else brings you here?"

He but his business face on:

"Rachel gave me an excellent idea."

"Do tell!"

"She needs a pick-me-up and I'm putting out an aerobics class for all the powerful women in my life."

"And that includes me?"

He winked:

"After what you just told me? Hell yes it includes you! And Maggie. And a couple of other friends from NYADA. We'll have an awesome day in Central Park."

"I heard my name."

They turned and saw Maggie standing next to them. However, she did not look good. Louisa made room for her to sit with them and started to sympathetic rub her friend's arm:

"You didn't came to work, did you?"

Maggie shook her head:

"No; I just needed to see a friendly face. My mother just called. Apparently, being an artist in New York is no longer an option for me."

Kurt looked shocked:

"Is your family talking to Blaine's? He's out there in Ohio trying to reason things with his father. One of those occasions I better not to be around because the straighter Blaine looks the happier his father is."

The ghost of a smile appeared in Maggie's face:

"Does Blaine also have to take on the family business? A supermarket in Texas?"

Kurt snorted:

"Something as medieval as that."

Louisa kept looking from one to the other, not believing her ears:

"And you're just going to sit here and do nothing?"

"What can I do?"

"But you're Maggie! The Maggie. Maggie never takes no for an answer. It's like... urgh... I'll have to sing it for you to understand!"

She got up and attached her phone to the stereo, hitting play on Matilda's Naughty.

Jack and Jill, went up the hill  
To fetch a pail of water, so they say  
Their subsequent fall was inevitable  
They never stood a chance, they were written that way  
Innocent victims of their story

Like Romeo and Juliet  
T'was written in the stars before they even met  
That love and fate, and a touch of stupidity  
Would rob them of their hope of living happily  
The endings are often a little bit gory  
I wonder why they didn't just change their story?  
We're told we have to do what we're told but surely  
Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.

Just because you find that life's not fair it  
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it  
If you always take it on the chin and wear it  
Nothing will change.

Even if you're little, you can do a lot, you  
Mustn't let a little thing like, 'little' stop you  
If you sit around and let them get on top,  
you might as well be saying  
You think that it's okay  
And that's not right!

Cinderella, in the cellar,  
Didn't have to do much as far as I could tell.  
Her Godmother was two-thirds fairy,  
Suddenly her lot, was a lot less scary,  
But what if you haven't got a fairy to fix it?  
Sometimes you have to make a little bit of mischief.

Just because you find that life's not fair it  
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it  
If you always take it on the chin and wear it  
Nothing will change.

Even if you're little, you can do a lot, you  
Mustn't let a little thing like, 'little' stop you  
If you sit around and let them get on top,  
you might as well be saying  
You think that it's okay  
And that's not right!  
And if it's not right!  
You have to put it right!

In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt.  
The seeds of a war in the creak of a floorboard.  
A storm can begin, with the flap of a wing.  
The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting!  
Every day starts with the tick of a clock.  
All escapes start with the click of a lock!  
If you're stuck in your story and want to get out  
You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout!

'Cause if you're little you can do a lot, you  
Mustn't let a little thing like, 'little' stop you  
If you sit around and let them get on top, you  
Won't change a thing!

Just because you find that life's not fair it  
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it!  
If you always take it on the chin and wear it  
You might as well be saying  
You think that it's okay  
And that's not right!  
And if it's not right!  
You have to put it right!

But nobody else is gonna put it right for me  
nobody but me is gonna change my story  
sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.

Maggie chuckled as her friend finished her impromptu performance:

"That's all very nice to take my head out of things. But tell me, how does naughty pays tuition without a scholarship?"

xXxXx

Finn took his eyes off his books to see Rachel arriving home.

"... Yeah, I understand. "

The look on her face as she talked on the phone showed him that something was wrong.

"Okay, I'll show up to rehearsal on Monday. Good bye."

She hanged up the phone and lowered her head in defeat. It was his cue to come close and wrap her in his embrace. Almost instantly, she began to sob against his chest.

"What's the matter, Rach? Who was it?"

She took a deep breath before answering:

"It was my producer. Apparently someone is not glad with my work and I'm no longer on the main cast for Spring Awakening."

"Can they even do that?"

"They've found a loophole. I'm an understudy now. I think the Queen Bee who really hates me has found some allies."

"That's absurd, Rach! How can they even do that to you? After all you invested in this play?"

She snorted:

"That's the business, honey. At least I'm not unemployed."

"But... You are a star, Rachel. You deserve so much more than that."

"Thanks for the ego boost. However, I must start from somewhere and, apparently, this somewhere is the bottom."

Finn had an uneasy feature:

"That's not the Rachel I know and love. My Rachel would go after her spot in the limelight."

Her sobbing intensified again:

"Oh Finn, if you only knew how tired I am. They all hate me. They hate me."

"And you're going to simply let them win?"

"No! I'm going to show up and do my work in the best way I can. I won't let them throw me out of the production. My day will come."

Finn scratched his neck:

"That doesn't sound right."

She looked at him in disbelief:

"Should I just quit?"

"Not quit; aim higher."

"How?"

"You were on the ensemble of a off-off-Broadway production. You deserve to have your name on the marquee!"

"It doesn't just happen, Finn. I have to start small."

He pacced around waiving his arms like a maniac:

"Don't stop, Rachel! Find another production, be the star. Show them just how bright you can shine!"

"No Finn, I'm going to fight for it. Rachel Berry is nothing if not a professional. I'm gonna show up and do my work."

"I can't believe you."

He stood up and went for the stereo. He found the song he wanted and went to pick her up from the couch:

"Sing this to me. I'm sure you know the lyrics."

Empty spaces, what are we living for  
Abandoned places, I guess we know the score  
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for  
Another hero, another mindless crime  
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime  
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore  
The show must go on  
The show must go on, yeah  
Inside my heart is breaking  
My make-up may be flaking  
But my smile still stays on

As she sang Queen's The Show Must Go On, Finn could see his Rachel coming back. She was strong and firm. In the end, things would turn the Rachel way; even if for now he couldn't see how.

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance  
Another heartache, another failed romance  
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?  
I guess I'm learning  
I must be warmer now  
I'll soon be turning   
Round the corner now  
Outside the dawn is breaking  
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free  
The show must go on  
The show must go on   
Inside my heart is breaking  
My make-up may be flaking  
But my smile still stays on

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies  
Fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die  
I can fly, my friends  
The show must go on   
The show must go on   
I'll face it with a grin  
I'm never giving in  
On, with the show

I'll top the bill

I'll overkill

I have to find the way to carry it on

On with the show

She finished the song and went back to his arms.

"Finn, I'm going to show them that I am the best thing that ever happened to that production. They won't know what hit them."

He sighed:

"That was not the show I was talking about. You must go on with the Rachel Berry show."

"Thank you for believing me, Finn. But now just trust me that everything is going to be for the best."

xXxXx

It was a beautiful day in Central Park and the Hummels were ready in their work out outfits. Some of their girl friends from NYADA were also already there and stretching up. However, Kurt wouldn't start his class without his main star and the reason they were there: Rachel.

Louisa approached Kurt:

"Rachel is running late, Kurt; are you sure you don't want to start out? Some of the girls are saying they'll have to leave soon."

"I won't start it without her. I'm doing it for her. She said she had news. And where's Maggie, by the way?"

"She texted me that she's almost here."

"Has she solved anything out with her mother? Is she leaving New York?"

Louisa sighed:

"I don't know. She doesn't know. She's going to Texas anyway to set some things up and there are daily angry calls with her mother. Other than that, it's all in the open."

They were interrupted by Rachel's arrival.

"Sorry, I'm late."

Kurt hugged his friend:

"We were just waiting for you."

"Sorry, it's been an awful week: I'm no longer on the Spring Awakening cast. But I still work for them and I'll be the best dammed employee they ever had."

"That's the spirit, Rach. Let's paint this town."

Kurt gathered all the girls around him and his stereo. He announced the beginning of the class:

"Welcome to Kurt Hummel's aerobics and self-esteem class. I'm surrounded by wonderful women who, for one reason or another, had their strength or their value challenged this week. Let's show the world that we are still standing and how. To help me out, I'll have none other than the Queen Bey."

He hit play on the stereo and the first notes of Beyoncé's Grown Woman started to play. Kurt sang along as he pushed the girls on to some hard work aerobics and choreography. They were all sweat and smiles as they were reminded of their true value.

I remember being young and so brave  
I knew what I needed  
I was spending all my nights and days laid back day dreaming  
Look at me I'm a big girl now, said I'm gon do something  
Told the world I would paint this town  
Now betcha I run news

'Cause I put it (down like that, down like that)  
And I'm making (all these racks, all these racks)  
And I'm moving (round like that, round like that)  
When I do it (I don't look back, don't look back)

I'm a grown woman  
I can do whatever I want  
I'm a grown woman  
I can do whatever I want

They love the way I walk  
'Cause I walk with a vengeance  
And they listen to me when I talk  
'Cause I ain't pretending  
It took a while, now I understand  
Just where I'm going  
I know the world and I know who I am  
It's 'bout time I show it

I'm a grown woman  
I can do whatever I want  
I'm a grown woman  
I can do whatever I want

I can be bad if I want  
I can say what I want  
I can live fast if I want  
I can go slow all night long

I'm a grown woman  
I can do whatever I want (whatever it is)

I'm a grown woman  
And I know that I got it (got it got it)

I'm a grown woman  
Ain't got no room in her pockets  
I'm a grown woman  
Look down, got you so excited  
I really want to know if you got it like that  
Cause you got a cute face  
And that booty so fat

Go girl (go girl)  
She got that bomb (that bomb)  
That girl can get whatever she wants.  
Go girl (hey girl),  
She got that tight (that tight).  
Them boys,  
They do whatever she like.

I'm a grown woman

I'm a grown woman

I'm a grown woman  
I can do whatever I want (I can do what ever I want)  
I'm a grown woman  
I can do whatever I want.  
I'm a grown...

I'm a grown woman  
I can do whatever I want.

The class moved on with more and more powerhouse songs that leaves all the girls exhilarated and exhausted. Kurt was prepared to leave with his favorite girls when an unpleasant familiar voice from the past called:

"Lady Hummel!"

However, this time the one to turn was Louisa, not her cousin. Leaving Azimio appalled.

"But... but... Hummel! Are you kidding me? Did you marry that babe? I thought..."

Louisa's tongue was not yet known by the bully:

"I'm his cousin, dumbass. And..."

She looked at him from head to toe.

"... not in a million years."

It causes a fit of laughter to erupt from Kurt and his group of girls. His former bully had nothing to do but to turn around and walk away from them. Kurt approached his cousin:

"Do you have any idea who that was?"

"Someone who didn't treat you right, for all I care."

Kurt passed his arm around Louisa's shoulders, bringing her close:

"And you just completely kicked the ass of my former bully. I think my class was somehow useful."

xXxXx

"Here Maggie, this drink is on the house."

"Thank you, Blaine."

Louisa approached the two of them and hug Maggie around the waist.

"It's so sad to see you go."

"But I won't go without a bang. Come on, let's party!"

Maggie and Louisa toasted their drinks and went to join the others. Callbacks was practically empty but for their little group. Blaine was well instructed to put 'music that rocks' for the party. Brody held Louisa from behind by the waist and she happily adjusted herself in his arms. Maggie saw the cute scene and approached them:

"You two better enjoy the empty apartment while you can. I want it peaceful and quiet when I get back."

"You are coming back, Maggie! That's new!"

Maggie smirked at Lou:

"I don't know how yet, but I'll come back and I'll graduate. My mother certainly won't be happy about it, but I can't live the life she wants for me. I'll apply for a scholarship, I'll get an extra job, I'll figure something out."

"That's wonderful news, Mags. I'd miss you too much."

Maggie winked:

"A certain someone persuaded me not to play by the rules. So I decided to be a little bit naughty."

The two girls joined in a hug. Blaine approached them with his glass raised:

"So this is a not-going-away party? Yupee!"

Kurt looked disapprovingly at him:

"You sound like a toddler, honey."

"It's just that I hate goodbyes. And also we get to have Maggie back to us."

She gulped what was left of her drink and pointed to the microphone:

"Blainers, stop being a toddler and help me out. Let's announce to the whole world that Maggie Cooper is making New York her bitch!"

"You're on, Mags."

She climbed to the stage and took the mike:

"Good evening Callbacks. This is Maggie Cooper announcing that no one can hold her back."

The karaoke system was turned on and she started singing Cabaret theme's song. If life was a stage, she'd go down as a prima donna.

What good is sitting alone in your room?  
Come hear the music play.  
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,  
Come to the Cabaret.

Put down the knitting,  
The book and the broom.  
Time for a holiday.  
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,  
Come to the Cabaret.

Come taste the wine,  
Come hear the band.  
Come blow your horn,  
Start celebrating;  
Right this way,  
Your table's waiting

What good's permitting  
some prophet of doom  
To wipe every smile away?  
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,  
Come to the Cabaret!

I used to have a girlfriend  
known as Elsie  
With whom I shared  
Four sordid rooms in Chelsea

She wasn't what you'd call  
A blushing flower...  
As a matter of fact  
She rented by the hour.

The day she died the neighbors  
came to snicker:  
"Well, thats what comes  
from to much pills and liquor."

But when I saw her laid out like a queen  
She was the happiest...corpse...  
I'd ever seen.

I think of Elsie to this very day.  
I'd remember how'd she turn to me and say:  
"What good is sitting all alone in your room?  
Come hear the music play.  
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,  
Come to the Cabaret."

And as for me, ha!  
And as for me,  
I made my mind up back in Chelsea,  
When I go, I'm going like Elsie.

Start by admitting  
From cradle to tomb  
It isn't that long a stay.  
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,  
It's only a Cabaret, old chum,  
And I love a Cabaret!

xXxXx

Rachel and Finn were leaving Callbacks hand-in-hand. She rested her head in his arm and exclaimed:

"You know what, with the whole Kurt's self-esteem class and Maggie taking her destiny in her hands; I'm not feeling that well about being an understudy."

"You deserve more, Rach. You really do."

"I was thinking, maybe I should quit Spring Awakening."

"And do what?"

She shrugged:

"Wait for my big break. Concentrate on my studies for a while."

Unlike what she was expecting, he smiled:

"I think it's a very Rachel Berry thing you're doing. You deserve to shine brighter than any other. If they can't see it... well, their lost."

"I almost forgot how it feels like to see myself through your eyes. You make me feel so loved, so unique."

"I'll always be here to remind you just how special you are."

She kissed him fondly and with a new determination.

xXxXx

Louisa fished her keys out of her bag to open her front door. Brody and Maggie were there with her. Maggie said goodnight to the couple and went to her room. Lou turned to her boyfriend:

"It will be so strange in here without Maggie."

He smirked:

"You heard her; it will be temporary. A little vacation just for the two of us."

She smiled as he walked closer and took her hands.

"It will be good. You just need to figure out how to graduate and I'll have you all for myself."

It was his turn to smile as she put her hands on both his shoulders.

"I like how you sound right now, Miss Hummel. Kurt's class is showing results."

"It's not just Kurt. It's Maggie. As crazy as it sounds, it's Rachel too. But most of all, it's me. I'm learning to face my ghosts and fight my battles."

He giggled:

"As I remember, you've never had a problem with fighting your battles."

She playfully spanked him on the arm:

"Not that kind of thing. I'm being serious here. I'm learning how to face my internal struggles."

"I'm also being serious; you had that power all along. You were always a strong, fierce woman; you just needed to be reminded of it."

"New York has taught me so much. You all here have showed me how I'm capable of things I'd never try for myself."

He wrapped his arms around her waist:

"I always bet on you. Everybody gave me hell for casting a freshman in my play, but I always knew you to be my lucky charm."

"Oh, Brody, in the end they were right. The production was a disaster and much of it was because of me."

His face turned serious, weighting in what she said.

"I wouldn't call all of it a disaster. We were amazing during rehearsals! You were in a dark place, sure; but give it a couple more weeks for you to recover and we'd enter NYADA's history."

She laughed:

"I love your optimism. In a way you are right, I was in a dark place that I'm not anymore. Lots of it is due to having fainted on that stage. Next to Normal brought me that. I'm being true to myself now and my shrink says it's a crucial part of the process."

"All joking aside, I'd love to see you on that stage nowadays. You'd kill it! However, not hiding behind Nathalie. You should play Diana and show all of your true colors."

"I bet I could at least go on that stage now. It would be nice to have some concrete result to show for this long on therapy."

A smile begun to light up his face:

"Let's do it then! An impromptu performance of Next to Normal."

She pecked his lips:

"And then you'd be able to graduate and I wouldn't feel so bad about it."

He held her by the shoulders and gazed deeply into her eyes:

"I'm not kidding. We could totally do it. The school year hasn't finished yet and I could rent one of the auditoriums. We could rehearse it in a week."

"Brody, calm down. One week?"

"It's ready! We just need to remember a thing or two. I bet Mrs. Tibideaux would let me graduate if I had it to show."

Her mouth hanged agape:

"It would be wonderful, but Maggie and Ted would be out of town."

"That's where Rachel and Finn enter. They are pros; they can get it in one week."

"Sure Brody, but..."

"No, no; no buts. Just dive right in. Say yes."

"From me? Yes, of course. But..."

"Then there's no but. It would be a perfect way to make amends with Rachel and Finn. If they agree to help me it would mean we've put it all aside."

She pursed her lips:

"By 'all' you mean?"

He smirked and took her hands in his again:

"I mean the four of us."

"Oh."

She looked down and he lifted her chin up to meet her gaze:

"Lou, it's okay. I made my decision a while ago. I saw the true you and I chose you over Rachel. But our agreement has always been about having feelings for other persons, so..."

"I love you."

"You've never said that before."

Louisa smirked and lightly touched his face:

"I know; it doesn't make it any less true."

"If I say it now it will seem like I'm only responding."

She giggled while cupping his other cheek:

"I beat you to it?"

He smiled:

"I doesn't feel bad having you win that one."

He leaned into the kiss she was happy to give him. His hand went instinctively to her hair while she grabbed the back of his neck. After a couple of minutes, he broke in smiling. She smiled back:

"Don't you have anything to say to me?"

"Let's go to bed."

"Brody!"

"I mean it. I have a long day tomorrow, I have to see Mrs. Tibideaux, I have to call..."

"Fine; let me just go take my medicine."

Brody watched her body as she dancingly made her way to the kitchen. He shouted to her midway:

"And by the way, I love you too, Louisa."


	22. Light

The unthinkable. People are so fragile; one moment here and the next they are gone. Finn was gone.

Louisa's shoulders raised and fell as she took in a deep breath. Brody watched it and took her hand. She squeezed his hand in hers, looked at him and tried to smile. It was pain all over again, she was used to pain. However, Rachel was not. That was why they were here. Brody slid the doors open and a sobbing Rachel ran to his arms. Louisa was there to pat her back.

"How do I live from now on?"

Lou sighed:

"You learn to live with the pain. It goes dull with time. You honor him somehow; being an artist makes it all easier to do it. But most of all you relish in the pain because it means you had him in your life and it means so much."

Brody freed one hand from embracing Rachel to caress Lou's cheek:

"How do you know all that?"

Her eyes were gleaming with unshed tears:

"I've lost so many people, I lost count of. That's how my anxiety first triggered."

Rachel turned to her:

"Does that make Finn just another one? Does it make him any less special?"

"Oh no, Rachel. The pain is just as sharp."

The two girls hugged while Brody watched and fought his own tears. Louisa broke the embrace to look Rachel deep in her eyes:

"Never doubt that what you two had was true love. I never meant a thing to Finn."

"That's not true; he liked you very much."

"I know that. We became friends, family. But he loved you, Rachel. No one else."

Brody spoke out of his stupor:

"This feels so strange, doesn't it? It feels like the most surreal thing being here with the two of you, talking about Finn. And man! We've had so much petty this last year. And over what? Nothing! What does it mean who dates who when Finn is no longer here with us?"

Rachel's tears intensified again:

"It means I should have valued more the moments I had with him."

Louisa shook her head:

"Come on, it does no good to dwell in regrets. You two prized your moments together. You lived each moment to its fullest. Let's go to the practical side of things: have you eaten?"

Rachel snorted:

"Like I have an appetite..."

Louisa grabbed her hand and started dragging her to the kitchen:

"I know how it feels not wanting to do anything, wanting to give up and disappear. That's not the way, Rach. We're here to help you like I've been helped so many times. That means keeping you healthy. Times will teach you a way out of it."

xXxXx

Burt and Carole crossed the airport gate to see Kurt and Blaine waiting for them. Kurt and Carole went for a hug that needed no words and yet said it all. Burt grabbed his son's shoulders:

"You mean so much to me, buddy."

Kurt answered still from his stepmother's embrace:

"I love you so much, dad. Here we are facing it all over again."

Burt gave him a reassuring squeeze:

"But we are here again: together and standing."

Carole cupped Kurt's face with her hands:

"Finn understood this pain. He and I learned so much from the two of you. We've gained so much from our time as a family. Pity it was so short."

Blaine kindly touched her shoulder:

"We'll be forever Finn's family."

She half smiled:

"I never doubted it. That's why it's so important that we are all in here together."

Blaine begun to cry and Kurt rushed to hold him. Blaine talked in between sobs:

"I've never been through it, Kurt. How do you manage to stay whole? How do you manage to move on after something like this?"

Kurt scuffed his hair:

"You hold on to the people. People come together during grief. Besides, Finn will never really be gone."

"Finn has changed my life, Kurt. He really has."

"That's great, sweetie. You've changed his life as well. That's life: getting together to give meaning to each other's lives."

xXxXx

Kurt and Louisa were busing themselves in the kitchen. Both experienced in losing a loved one, they knew that working on something else would keep their minds on track.

"Kurtie, where's Bowtie? Why isn't he here trying to eat the frosting?"

"He's mourning with Rachel in the living room. He needs to cry and I needed to clear my mind a bit."

She walked closer to her cousin and put herself a finger on the frosting and licking it. He slapped her hands away:

"Why are you here and not there with Brody?"

"He's giving me some room. You know... I'm a Hummel; I grief better with my hands full making comfort food for everyone."

Kurt gave her the best impression of a smile his lips could form. She stopped stirring the pot she was responsible for to hug him:

"We've formed a family here in New York. Us five remaining will really have to be there for each other."

Kurt pursed his lips in agreement:

"We'll be. I'm glad you and Rachel figured everything out before it happened."

"I'd say we kind of sorted it out while it was happening. Anyway, Brody and I figured out what we mean in each other's lives and that helped everything fall into places."

"How's he, speaking of it? He was so close to graduating after we agreed to put the show on and now he's back to square one."

Louisa sighed:

"Well, he's more taken aback about what happened to Finn than the prospect of spending another semester at college."

"Finn was doing so well in rehearsals as the doctor. Actually, he was doing so well with life in general."

Tears started flowing down of Kurt's eyes and Louisa took him in her arms. She looked up and saw Blaine watching them by the doorway. Lou summoned him closer and the three stood enfolded until the doorbell rang.

Blaine got Kurt in his arms while signaling to the girl:

"I've got him. You get the door."

Louisa walked to the living room and saw Burt and Carole deep in conversation with an inconsolable Rachel. Brody was by the door talking formally to someone. She walked closer to him and saw Andrew and Muriel.

"Dad! Grandma! I've seen you've met my boyfriend Brody."

Andrew didn't meet her eyes as he spoke:

"It's important for Burt that we are here."

She smiled at both of them:

"It's important for me too. I'm glad you're here."

xXxXx

Rachel was walking in the cemetery supported by Kurt and Brody. Followed close by Burt and Carole. Louisa stalled Blaine behind so they could have a private conversation. She held his arm:

"So why aren't any of your friends from Ohio here?"

"Rachel didn't want anyone here."

Louisa snorted:

"So now Finn is hers to claim? How about Carole? And Kurt? And his friends? Can't they mourn Finn?"

"There will be a memorial for him in Ohio, but Rachel's decided she's not going. She's not well."

Louisa huffed:

"I know she's not well but that's not the way out of it."

"It's her decision."

"Do you agree with it?"

"My opinion doesn't matter."

"But Blaine..."

Blaine turned unusually sternly to her:

"Enough, Louisa. You're not mistress of the truth when it comes to pain. To each their own."

She wouldn't let him have the last word:

"You can't just start cutting people out!"

"You do it! Very well, I might add."

And then she had no answer for Blaine. They all walked in silence to Finn's final resting place. The only sounds were the occasional sobs from Rachel. When they arrived at the grave, a priest was already waiting for them. Carole went to greet him while the rest took their seats.

Brody came to sit by Louisa on the second row and Blaine took his place with Kurt by Rachel's side. Lou was fuming and shooting deadly glances to the back of Rachel's head so she barely noticed Brody holding her hand.

"You okay, Lou?"

"There are a few things I don't agree with."

"That's not our moment. Let's just listen."

He gave her hand a light squeeze as the priest started his sermon. Louisa paid no attention to what he said and tried to distract herself from her own mind. The priest went on and on and Louisa started to budge on her chair. Burt saw her and mouthed a 'be quiet' to her. It was finally Carole's turn to speak:

"Finn, my beloved son, lost his father at a very young age. Some may say that death haunted him since he was little. However, who knew my son knows that 'haunted' is not a word we can use about Finn. He was solar. He was bright and happy and had an incredible power to irradiate that happiness wherever he went. He was able to bring the best in people. Whenever I think of my son from now on, I'll try to be like him; I'll try to see the light instead of the darkness. Finn, my darling, you were taken from us much too soon. May you find peace. Mom loves you."

Burt stood up and guided her back to her seat. The priest took her place:

"And now Finn's girlfriend would like to say a few words as well."

Rachel stood up and walked the few steps to stand by the coffin. A trace of dry tears visible in her cheeks below her sunglasses. She took a deep breath:

"Carole asked me to say a few words; I don't exactly know what to say. Finn once named a star after him and gave it to me as a Christmas present. He said there was no need of another star named Rachel Berry because there was one already in Earth. He said he'd look after me from the sky. Oh Finn, I hope you do. Because my star went out with you. I'll sing my swan song today because Carole and Burt convinced me it would be what you'd want. But from then on, my voice will go silent. I can't. I can't be a star without you by my side."

There were a few 'ohs' and 'ahs' coming from the audience but Rachel was unmoved by them. She started to sing Pippin's part of the Finale of the namesake show.

I'm not a river or a giant bird   
That soars to the sea  
And if I'm never tied to anything  
I'll never be free

I wanted magic shows and miracles  
Mirages to touch  
I wanted such a little thing from life  
I wanted so much  
I never came close, my love  
We nearly came near  
It never was there  
I think it was here

They showed me crimson, gold and lavender  
A shining parade  
But there's no color I can have on Earth  
That won't finally fade  
When I wanted worlds to paint   
And costumes to wear  
It always was here  
It never was there

It never was there  
No, it never was there

There was applause when she finished. Rachel didn't bowed or thanked, seeming lost in her own world. Until a voice caught everyone's attention.

"You've skipped an important part of the song, Rachel."

Louisa had stood up from her chair and Rachel was called from her reverie by that act. She looked at Louisa as if trying to solve a mystery. Lou continued:

"Everyone is treating you like you're going to break at any minute, but I know you're not. You lost Finn and that may be a blow you may never recover from. However, you can't let the Rachel he loved die. The song you sang starts with 'think about the sun' and 'think about your dreams'. Don't let your dreams die, Rachel."

"You're getting it all wrong, Louisa. The whole musical is about finding a quiet love and settling down. I had it with Finn and I lost it. My dreams died with him. Someone with new dreams will show up to take my place, as it did in Pippin."

"You're irreplaceable, Rachel.That's not what Finn would have wanted from you."

Rachel lost it and started to shriek:

"And who are you to know what Finn wanted or didn't want!"

Louisa snorted:

"I'm nobody. But you said he gave you a star to match the star you are. Finn believed in you. That's his legacy; don't let it die."

Brody had stood up and placed his hands on Louisa's shoulder. Rachel was getting more and more startled and he begun to pull his girlfriend away:

"Come on, Lou; it's not the moment to make a scene."

She wrestled to get hid of him:

"Someone has to make a scene! It's doing no one any good if Rachel keeps hiding in her pain."

Brody looked at her with pleading eyes:

"Please, Lou; respect her. Let her be; like you like to be left alone."

Louisa rolled her eyes.

"Fine."

They both left the cemetery leaving an awkward silence behind.

xXxXx

They were at Rachel's apartment where Burt and Carole were staying. The ride from the cemetery had gone without further incident, for Louisa and Brody hadn't rejoined them. They had managed to calm Rachel down and were now eating a pizza without much chitchat.

Carole was doing the dishes when Kurt entered the kitchen. She acknowledged him and smiled:

"We haven't had the chance to talk yet."

Kurt pursed his lips and nodded:

"I guess yours is the side of the story I'm afraid to hear."

"What do you mean?"

"I know what it is like to lose a parent. But to lose a son... I mean, I think about dad a lot. If I was too harsh on him by leaving him behind, moving to New York without a glance back. His health is so fragile..."

Carole smiled and took his hand:

"You're such a good boy, Kurt. Your father is fine. I'm there, he's not alone. Besides, he'd never be happy if you weren't happy too. You're a paler version of yourself in Lima; you belong in New York."

His cheeks turned pinker. He caught a furtive tear with his thumb:

"I like what you said at the funeral. Finn really got a way of bringing the best in people."

"He should have pursued his teaching career. He'd be very good helping students out."

Kurt started helping around the kitchen:

"He surely helped me a lot. It was a lot easier being proud of who I am, knowing Finn had my back during High School."

"On the other hand, watching you made Finn come to terms with wanting to be both a football player and a Glee club singer."

Kurt smiled at the memory:

"My brother was really a unique person. He helped so many people just by being who he was."

Carole stopped with the dishes to give her stepson her full attention:

"It kind of brings your cousin to mind."

Kurt was quick in responding, raising his hands:

"I'm so sorry for Louisa during the funeral."

"Well, I wouldn't say I agree to her methods – Louisa has a certain way of being overly dramatic – but I could say I agree with her. It was not the moment to confront Rachel, but I also think Finn wouldn't want her to give up her career."

Kurt bit his lip and looked the other way:

"Not too long ago Finn encouraged Rachel to quit a job that didn't give her the correct emphasis."

"That's my son: always putting other people's wellbeing first. He encouraged her so much to move to New York in the first place. Anyhow, Rachel needs her time to mourn and we all need to learn how to live without him."

"I still think I need to have a talk with Louisa."

Carole stared at him with an intense look:

"If Finn's death taught me anything, is that you need to seize each and every opportunity you have. So maybe... don't be that rough with her."

xXxXx

"For the tenth time, Brody; I'm not mad at you!"

"You're not happy either!"

"Well, a little support wouldn't have hurt."

"Support you in what? Crushing Rachel's heart during her boyfriend's funeral?"

Louisa rolled her eyes:

"I was doing Rachel a favor! Do you want her to quit her brilliant career?"

Brody sighed:

"No, Lou. I also don't think Finn would have wanted it. But... tenderness! There will be a time and a place to talk to Rachel."

Louisa fished her keys out of her bag to open her building's door in silence. They also climbed the stairs without saying a word. Already in her story, she stopped him with a hand on his chest:

"Are you listening?"

"It's music. Why?"

"It's not just any music; it's Next to Normal."

She hurried to open her apartment door and found her father sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in hand and the stereo turned on.

"Oh, there you are. We were waiting for you at Rachel's place, but it started to get late and mom wanted to go to bed early."

Louisa swallowed hard:

"Brody convinced me it wouldn't be the best idea to show up after..."

"It was wise. Care to join me?"

Andrew said jiggling the bottle of wine. Brody nodded in response and Louisa produced another glass for him:

"Not for me, it crashes with my medicine and I need my drugs on full mode tonight."

Brody looked at her with real concern:

"Finn's death did take it's toll on you."

She scratched her neck a little embarrassed:

"I'm usually not that obnoxious."

Brody hugged her with one arm while Andrew spoke to no one in particular:

"Well... you don't have to be happy at all to be happy you're alive."

Louisa faced him with bugged eyes:

"Dad, are you quoting and listening to Next to Normal?"

"Guilty as charged. I got curious ever since... well, that night."

Brody also looked at him astonished:

"It's not just curiosity, you really know the lyrics."

Andy gave him a small smile:

"It's a way into Louisa's brain."

Brody agreed:

"It's very educational. Helped me a lot to figure out our little darling here."

The girl had a gleam in her eyes:

"You guys better stop or I'll start to cry."

Brody kissed her temple. Andrew watched them fondly:

"It would have been nice to see you two on stage."

The boy shrugged:

"We were rehearsing it again, but Finn and Rachel were on the cast."

Andy sipped his wine:

"But have you had that conversation? The rest of the cast wanted to stop it? I'm not the one to talk, since I barely knew Finn; but from what I've been hearing about him, he seems like the guy who would enjoy having a show played in his memory."

Brody turned to Louisa:

"So what do you think, pookie? Should we go on with the show?"

"I'm in. The question is; can we convince the others?"

xXxXx

"I think we should do it."

Kurt looked astonished at his fiancé because of his answer.

"Blee, do you think it's sensitive being back on the stage so soon after what happened?"

"Why not, Kurt? Finn loved singing and acting; he'd like to see us doing it in his memory. You were the one who taught me that distracting your head with something else could help us grief."

Kurt turned and grabbed Rachel's hand:

"What do you think, honey? Do you think it's tacky?"

She was staring into the horizon as she answered:

"I think Carole would like it – she was the one who convinced me to sing at the funeral. It would help Brody to graduate. But I'm not setting a foot on that stage."

Brody took her other hand:

"We don't want to hurt your feelings, Rach."

The corner of her lips raised a little:

"I don't have a problem with people wanting to pay tribute to Finn in whatever way they see fit. But I made my decision; I won't sing or dance anymore."

Blaine spoke in an uncertain voice:

"Rachel, I don't think you should quit. The way you and Carole spoke about him, about him being like a sun or a star that would guide you forever. I think you should use that light. It would show what you've learned from Finn about confidence, about not being ashamed of being who you are."

Kurt intervened:

"My wacky brother taught me to be proud of who I am. I'd like to sing for him once more. I didn't get a chance to sing at the funeral."

"I believe it was my fault."

Blaine spoke not leaving many chances for Louisa to elaborate her thoughts:

"I doesn't matter why now. Care to join me, Kurt? I'd like to sing for Finn and Rachel."

He went for the piano on their apartment and begun to softly play the first notes of Here Comes the Sun from the Beatles. Kurt went and sat by his side, joining in the duet.

Here comes the sun  
Here comes the sun,  
and I say, It's all right

Little darling  
It's been a long, cold lonely winter  
Little darling  
It feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun  
Here comes the sun,  
and I say, It's all right

Little darling  
The smiles returning to the faces  
Little darling  
It seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun  
Here comes the sun,  
and I say, It's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darling  
I feel that ice is slowly melting  
Little darling  
It seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun  
Here comes the sun,  
and I say, It's all right

Here comes the sun  
Here comes the sun  
It's all right  
It's all right

When they finished, Rachel raised her glass in a toast:

"To Finn, our sun."

The other joined her:

"To Finn."

xXxXx

Louisa and Brody were walking back to her apartment hand in hand. She swayed their linked hands to get his attention:

"So we're pulling up a play."

He smiled tiredly:

"We still need a Diana and a Doctor. Then yes, we're pulling a play."

She bit her lip and was a little fidgety as she spoke:

"About that, I needed to talk to you."

Brody turned to her giving her his full attention. She took a big breath:

"Since we're finding a new actress, I wanted to play Diana."

His smile was real this time:

"Really?"

"I want to face my fears. I think I'm ready. Finn's death made me realize that all my reasons to hide are feeble. I want to be proud of who I am; flaws and everything."

He lifted her up in the air and started to spin:

"That's the most wonderful news, Lou. I'm so proud of you."

"I'm kind of proud of myself too. It means therapy is working, it means I have a wonderful support net. I want to honor it; I want to wear my heart on my sleeve."

He kissed her. She responded but then broke the kiss and held both his hands:

"I want to sing to you. Some things I've been whiling to say."

He chuckled:

"So Hummel of you."

Louisa begun to sing Suddenly from Les Misérables movie. She made eye contact with him the whole song and she smiled with her eyes as she made the link of her past and her present in one song.

Suddenly you're here,  
Suddenly it starts  
Can two anxious hearts  
Beat as one?  
Yesterday I was alone  
Today you walk beside me,  
Something still unclear,  
Something not yet here  
Has begun

Suddenly the world  
Seems a different place  
Somehow full of grace,  
Full of light.  
How was I to know that so much hope  
Was held inside me?  
What is past is gone,  
Now we journey on through the night

How was I to know at last  
That happiness can come so fast?  
Trusting me the way you do  
I'm so afraid of failing you  
Just a child who cannot know  
That danger follows where I go  
There are shadows everywhere  
And memories I cannot share...

Nevermore alone  
Nevermore apart  
You have warmed my heart  
Like the sun.  
You have brought the gift of life  
And love, so long denied me.  
Suddenly I see  
What I could not see  
Something suddenly  
Has begun

When she finished, pulled her hand to kiss her knuckles. She smiled:

"I think I owe it to Finn, to you, to my family that I go into this memorial play as myself."

"I think you're making all of us proud."

xXxXx

It was a bright white space filled with fog. Rachel wasn't so sure as to when or how she had arrived there. Until she saw him in a distance: Finn was walking towards her with a wide smile.

"Finn, my love, you're here."

He nodded. Finn took his hand to her cheek but he couldn't quite touch her. She stood still feeling a faint reminder of his smell.

"But you can't talk to me."

He shook his head in response. Somehow, she knew what was going through his mind.

"You're fine. And you have a message for me. But Finn, how are you going to give me this message?"

He signaled his ears and Rachel started to hear a song. It was far and it sounded like Finn. But he wasn't singing; he was just standing there and smiling at her. She begun to distinguish the words. She knew that song, it was Morning Glow from Pippin. His eyes begged her to listen closely.

Why won't my hands stop shaking  
When all the Earth is still  
When ancient ghosts are waking  
So many steps need taking  
So many plans need making  
I think I will  
I think I will

Morning glow, morning glow  
Starts to glimmer when you know  
Winds of change are set to blow  
And sweep this whole land through  
Morning glow is long past due

Morning glow fill the earth  
Come and shine for all you're worth  
We'll be present at the birth  
Of old faith looking new  
Morning glow is long past due

Oh, morning glow, I'd like to help you grow  
We should have started long ago  
So, morning glow all day long  
While we sing tomorrow's song  
Never knew we could be so strong  
But now it's very clear  
Morning glow is almost here

Morning glow by your light  
We can make the new day bright  
And the phantoms of the night  
Will fade into the past  
Morning glow is here

Rachel understood the message and started singing too:

We got magic to do

Just for you

Finn's smile grew larger:

At last!

Rachel woke up with a smile and she knew what she had to do. She took her phone and typed a message for Brody.

"I'm in."

xXxXx

Kurt took another sip from his mocha:

"But Rach, what made you change your mind?"

She smiled:

"Finn did."

Brody looked at her with one eyebrow raised:

"In a dream?"

She chuckled:

"I'm not saying the actual ghost of Finn descended from Heaven just to speak to me. No, it was more like a piece of Finn will always be alive inside of me. One of the last things he did on this Earth was convince me to quit Spring Awakening because I deserved more. I have a feeling that Next to Normal will open the doors for me."

Carole stood up and went to kiss Rachel's cheek:

"Finn would be so happy."

Rachel played with her necklace pendant:

"I just have one condition."

Brody waved his arms:

"Anything Rachel."

"I want all of our friends from Ohio to be here. If we're doing it for Finn, let's have all of his friends over."

Blaine started typing a group message in his phone:

"That's... done with. Now we just need someone to play the doctor."

The most unexpected person cleared his through. Andrew had been quiet so far, but he seemed to have something to add:

"Does it have to be a NYADA student?"

Brody answered:

"No. I mean, they were okay with Finn doing it for my graduation."

Andrew smirked:

"I know all the lines."

xXxXx

Burt saw all the familiar faces of the Glee club kids sitting in the audience. Even Mr. Schue and his wife had come. They all greeted him and Carole. His mother called him from the front row:

"Come you two; I've saved you seats. It's about to start."

He and Carole where walking down to the places when she elbowed him:

"Have you seen the playbill? It says: 'Finn Hudson, the price of love is loss, but still we pay. We love anyway.'"

Burt smiled:

"Sounds like Finn."

They found their seats and the lights went off. Music. Louisa turned on a light on the stage. She sat alone in a chair not acknowledging the audience. Brody entered and said his first line. Louisa replied with hers. No accidents this time, the play went on.

Burt had a great time. The kids were magnificent, all born talents. Even his brother didn't compromise much of it. He barely saw the time passing when Carole whispered in his ear:

"They are going for the last song."

Kurt sat alone in the dark. Rachel entered for the last scene.

Natalie:  
We need some light.  
First of all,  
We need some light.  
You can't sit here  
In the dark,  
And all alone,  
It's a sorry sight.  
It's just you and me.  
We'll live.  
You'll see.

She turned on a lamp. They are doing Light. Kurt took Rachel's hands for his part.

Dan:  
Night after night,  
We'd sit and wait  
For the morning light.  
But we've waited far too long  
For all that's wrong  
To be made right.

Louisa appeared in the top of a stair. She had a fierce look about her.

Diana:  
Day after day,  
Wishing all our cares away.  
Trying to fight the things we feel,  
But some hurts never heal.  
Some ghosts are never gone,  
But we go on.  
We still go on.

And you find some way to survive.  
And you find out you don't have  
To be happy at all,  
To be happy you're alive.

The lights turned on Blaine, he played a scene with Rachel and embraced her in the end. She sang from his arms:

Natalie:  
Day after day,  
Give me clouds, and rain, and grey.  
Give me pain if that's what's real—

The lights moved on stage again. They focused on Andrew also entering the stage.

Natalie & Doctor Madden:  
It's the price we pay to feel.

Doctor Madden and Diana:  
The price of love is loss...

Doctor Madden:  
But still we pay...

Doctor Madden and Dan:  
We love anyway...

Kurt rejoins the stage for his last scene with his uncle. They finish sitting and talking while the lights now showed Brody on top of a different stair.

Gabe:  
And when they night has fin'ly gone,  
And when we see the new day dawn,  
We'll wonder how we wandered for  
So long, so blind.  
The wasted world we thought we knew—  
The light will make it look brand new.

Finally they are all on the stage together. A spotlight illuminating each of them. They stare directly to the audience.

All:  
So let it...  
Let it...  
Let it...  
Shine!  
Shine!  
Shine!

Day after day,  
We'll find the will to find our way,  
Knowing that the darkest sky  
Will someday see the sun—

They all held their hands and Kurt started to sing.

Dan:  
When our long night is done...

Rachel's voice joined in and she squeezed Kurt's hand harder.

Dan & Natalie:  
There will be light...

A big photo showing a smiling Finn is project behind them.

All:  
There will be light.  
When we open up our lives,  
Sons and daughters,  
Husbands, wives—  
And fight that fight...  
There will be light.

There will be light...  
There will be light...  
There will be light!

xXxXx

Blaine entered the dressing room again looking for his fiancé.

"Kurt, come on; they are all waiting for you. Louisa closed Coffee'N'Stuff just for us."

"I'm going, I'm going; I just need to make sure my skin is being cared for. You know it takes time."

"I know you're doing it all over again once we get home."

Kurt looked at him through the mirror and opened up a smile:

"You know me so well and still love me the same way."

Blaine went to sit by his side, touching Kurt's arm:

"You also agreed to marry me and put up with all my silliness."

"Are you sure you still want it? You now know my family very well and you know the Hummels make the Goodman's from Next to Normal look perfectly normal, thank you very much."

"I love you and your family. To you I can confess, I even love your cousin."

Kurt rolled his eyes:

"You and Louisa still holding to that grudge. Speaking of her, where is she? I wanted to congratulate her for her performance tonight. It's so good to see she could handle all the aspects of playing Diana."

"Last time I saw her, she and Brody were making each other's faces out in the middle of the atrium."

"My cousin Louisa? She's not a shy lamb anymore?"

Blaine chuckled:

"I think it was a year of growing and maturing for the Hummels."

Kurt rewarded him with a kiss. They left the dressing room to find the auditorium and the surrounding corridors completely empty. Blaine took Kurt's hand:

"They are probably already at the coffee house."

They started walking slowly, enjoying each other's company. Kurt turned to Blaine:

"Have you heard Rachel's news?"

"No; what?"

"Some producers watched the show tonight and invited her to be the Leading Player in Pippin."

"But that's like the female leading role!"

"Exactly! She says it's Finn's doing, that Pippin would be the role of his life and that it's his gift for her."

They continued to chitchat all their way to the bookstore. Kurt opened the door and looked up to the mezzanine, all he could see was a pair of red converses. Both feet relaxed, very at ease with their surroundings. How far had they come in a year.


End file.
